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Msaada wa kuachana na my wife

Discussion in 'Jukwaa la Sheria (The Law Forum)' started by Gamaha, Aug 24, 2009.

  1. Gamaha

    Gamaha JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    nimeishi na huyu mwanamke kwa mda wa miezi 11, na tayari nilikuwa nimezaa naye kabla ya hapo, mtoto wetu ana miaka mitatu sasa. kisa kilichotokea ni kwamba mwezi wa saba tulikuwa tunajadili kufunga ndoa ili tukae kihalali kwa maana ya misingi ya DINI.

    lkn bahati mbaya au nzuri huyu mwenzangu alikuwa kaokoka. na akawa anadai kuwa kama nataka kumuoa basi tukafunge harusi kanisani kwao ambalo ni kanisa la kilokole. mimi nasali lutherani na yeye before alikuwa anasali lutherani pamoja na wazazi weu wote wanasali lutherani, ubishi ulienda mpaka ikafikia harusi kuahilishwa na ikabidi tutengane.

    Hapa ndio ugomvi unapotokea yeye anasema kwa kuwa anahama basi mtoto wetu wa miaka mitatu tumpeleke shule ya bodding kwa sababu na yeye anafanya kazi hivyo itakuwa busy. nimekubaliana naye na gharama za kumpeleka mtoto shule ntatoa kwa aslimia 100.

    Gharama za kumludisha mfanya kazi wetu wa ndani ambaye anatoka mbeya pamoja na kumlipa angalau ahsante ya kukaa naye pamoja ntaghalamia mimi kwa asilimia 100.

    LKN pia anataka nimlipie kodi ya nyumba yake atakayo hamia yeye kama yeye sababu mtoto atakuwa tayari shule na anasema nisipo fanya hivyo anaenda kwenye sheria ili niweze kukidhi haja zake. kumbuka kuwa mshahara wangu na wake wa kwake ndio mkubwa. naomba ufafanuzi wa kisheria je ninapaswa kufanya haya yote kwa huyu mama tunaye achana, ambaye hata ndoa hatukufunga bado.
     
  2. Mfamaji

    Mfamaji JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 24, 2009
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    Pole sana kaka.

    Hayo ya dini siku hizi yanaleta balaa kweli kweli. Jamaa yangu mmoja nae karudi nyumbani jioni kakuta mama kafungasha kila kitu pamoja na watoto katokomea kusikojulikana eti kwa kuwa yeye kaokoka na mzee sio. Hata hivyo tetesi ni kuwa huyo mama alikuwa beneti sana na mchungaji wa hilo kanisa lao na pengine alikwa anavuta kilaini.

    Huyo wa kwako isije ikawa ni yale yale . Na hata kama sivyo , baada ya kutengana cha msingi ni malezi ya mtoto .Ikiwa utagharimia 100% na yeye anafanya kazi huna sababu ya kumlipia kodi ya nyumba. Otherwise mtakuwa hamjaachana bali mmtengana tu kila mtu na nyumba yake maana bado utakuwa umebeba responsibility zote.

    Then wasiendelee kutishia watu na hizo sheria .Kwani zimewekwa kwa ajili yao tu? Huo ndio mwanzo wa kuadi mgawane mali. Usijali Sheria iko wazi juu ya hilo . Wengi walidhani mkiachana ati mnagawana mali pasu pasu automatically wakajikuta wanaambulia patupu.
     
  3. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 24, 2009
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    So sad kama ni kweli!!!! Ndoa nyingi au familia nyingi zinafarakana kwa kutoelewana kwa jambo dogo kama hili. Wazazi na huyo mtoto mnataka peleka boarding school at three years old, be carefully. Kwa nini mnamtesa mtoto. Oneni madhara ya kutengana yanavyodhuru watoto wenu. Hakuna kitu kizuri kama wazazi watajaliwa kuishi na watoto wao hadi 13 and above watakapotakiwa kwenda shule za boarding (secondary). Upendo kwa mtoto ni muhimu sana na pia kumwelewa mtoto wako kitabia kabla hujaachia ulimwengu!!! Kataa na kuchukia kabisa kutengana.

    Can you visit www.mbilinyi.blogspot.com ametoa inspirational lessons about relationships na ziko nyingi zaidi ya hizo kwenye blogs nyinginezo. Mungu hapendi kuachana na alisema hivyo, naamini akilini kwake aliwaza wale wazazi wenye watoto, hatima yao.
     
  4. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Kaka pole kwa yanayokukuta, lakini usife moyo.
    Kwanza kabisa there is no marriage in the first place, sijui may be wanasheria wa maswala ya familia waje kuconfirm hapa. hivyo nadhani hakuna haja ya kuhofia mashtaka coz hujamuoa kidini wala kiserikali.
    Pia am more concerned na huyo mtoto mnayetaka kumpeleka boarding at three years, muogopeni Mungu na muishi na kumtunza mtoto huyo, kama hajajua madhara ya kupeleka mtoto mdogo hivyo boarding ulizeni kwanza.
    Kwa kuangalia hiyo story yenu bila kujua upande wa pili au may be kuna makubwa zaidi ya hili la dini, kaeni chini muongee mkubaliane kama kweli mnapendana, hakuna kinachoshindikana, unaweza kukubali mkafunga ndoa kwa walokole then kama hupendi ulokole ukaendelea na ulutherani au hata yeye kama anakupenda wewe na mtoto pia akubali mfunge lutherani then aendelee na ulokole, Mungu ni yule yule at the end of the day, sasa haya mmadhehebu yanayotaka kuwagawa na kumsababishia mtoto mateso makali ni ya shetani na siyo Mungu.
    To sum up, please kaeni chini muongee na muwashirikishe wakubwa na ikibidi hata viongozi wa dini zenu zote mbili maana tayari mnaishi pamoja, sasa wao wataoina busara ni ipi kuwatenganisha au kuwasaidia mfunge ndoa na kuishi pamoja. Good luck!
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2009
  5. Buchanan

    Buchanan JF Diamond Member

    #5
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Kwa uzoefu wangu, kama mtafunga ndoa na wewe unatakiwa uokoke ndio maana mama anakomaa mkafungie kanisani kwao! Naona kichwa cha thread kinasomeka kwamba mnataka kuachana jadilini juu ya utunzaji wa mtoto ambaye hana hatia yoyote. Kisheria mtoto wa chini ya miaka saba anatakiwa alelewe na mama yake! All-in-all jadilini kisha muachane kwa amani, kama mnataka kuachana maana mapenzi ni ya watu wawili!
     
  6. K

    Kituko JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 24, 2009
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    haya mambo ya Kilokole sasa ni tatizo kubwa kwenye maswala ya ndoa, nadhani jamii iwe makini na hawa wachungaji wa kisasa, nimeshashuhudia ndoa zaidi ya tatu zinayumba baada ya mke kuamua kuwa Mlokole, kwa sababu siku za mwanzo huwa wanapagawa sana akitoka saa nane nyumbani kurudi ni saa tatu na hata akirudi bado ibada inaendelea kuimba na kusali, sasa unakuta mama anasahau kabisa huduma za nyumbani na mtu muhimu kwake ni mchungaji, hutakuta anaacha kazi zake nyumbani anaenda kupika na kufua kwa mchungaji, mwisho wa siku baba anaenda kutafuta pa kupumzika
    ni hatari mwanawane, huyo mama hakufai kama akiendelea kuwa kwenye hiyo imani yake
     
  7. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 24, 2009
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    Jamani wakati mwingine hata tusiwalaumu wachungaji.hakuna mchungaji anaemwambia mke wa mtu akashinde kanisani,na siku zote hata wachungaji hawafurahii ndoa za watu kuyumba wala kuvunjika.

    Hivi ina maana huyu dada anaamua kuacha kufunga ndoa na mtu aliyezaaa nae kwa sababu ya dhehebu? hii sidhani kama ni sababu yawezekana kuna sababu nyingine zimesababisha huyu dada awe hivyo,naomba mtoa mada atueleze vizuri ili tupate kuelewa maana nahisi kunaweza kuwa na sababu zingine.
     
  8. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 24, 2009
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    Mkuu kwani mlisha oana?
    Usimpangie nyumba utakuwa unachunwa aende kokote.
     
  9. BornTown

    BornTown JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 24, 2009
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    Pole ndugu yangu yaelekea "PASTER" kavuta mzigo huo kuwa makini maana utaambiwa "bwana kamuangazia wakati wa maombi kuwa paster ndiye mume bora ww ni ibilisi"

    Suala lla kumpangishia nyumba mwambie huyu aliye mwambia ahame nyumbani ndio ampangishie ww somesha mwamnao kwa juhudi zote.
     
  10. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Mimi naona uamuzi wa yeye kukataa kufunga ndoa ni mbaya kwa sababu atakuwa hamtendei wema mwenzake na pia mtoto,
    halafu huyo mwanamke design alikuwa hampendi jamaa, maana angeenda kufunga ndoa lutheran, then akaendele kusali kanisani kwake na mume kanisani kwake bora wote ni wakristo waendelee kumtunza mtoto na kumpa mapenzi mema.
    Halafu mmeachana na yeye ana pesa zake kwa nini anataka umpangie nyumba na yeye ana hela zake, kwa nini asijitegemee, wala usijali muache aende mahakamani.
    Halafu umri wa mtoto ni mdogo sana kwenda boarding huna ndugu au mtu wa karibu ambaye anaweza kumlea mtoto wako mpaka ajitambue ndo aende boarding sehemu ambayo utaenda kumsalimia kwa ukaribu?
     
  11. Abdulhalim

    Abdulhalim JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Hili ni jukwaa la sheria au maoni?
     
  12. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Jamani eee tuache kuwasingizia wachungaji siku hizi kuna imani za ajabu ajabu sana na watu wengi wamejiingiza kwenye imani za ajabu bila kufanya uchunguzi na wengi waliojiingiza kwenye imani hizo eitha wamejikuita wakiharibu ndoa au maisha yao kabisa kuharibika.

    Huyo mwanamke tu hana mapenzi na huyo mume mtarajiwa,haingiii akilini siku zote muwe paomja mmezaa halafu sasa hivi akatae,akae na huyo mke mtarajiwa amuulize vizuri,yawezekana kuna vitu vilimkera ndo maana kaamua hivyo.
     
  13. Gamaha

    Gamaha JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Mkuu ni kwamba hataki mtoto akae na mtu yoyote si mama si dada wala nani... na yeye anasema atakuwa busy so option pekee aliyonipa ni kupeleka mtoto shule. hata mimi naona mtoto bado ni mdogo ila sina cha kufanya.
     
  14. RealTz77

    RealTz77 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Aug 24, 2009
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    huyu dada hakupendi anakuhiaji tu sababu awe nae kaolewa,nakushauri japo mumezaa nae si vyema awe mkeo seems ana tabia chafu.kwanza mlokole gani nae kazaaa nje ya ndoa?anafundishwa nini church kwao?hana ustaarabu kama haya uliyoandika ni ya kweli.we muhimu mtunze mtoto wako,kama wazazi wako wapo wape taarifa,uwe na custody ya mtoto,seems ana bwana mwingine huyu dada, tena kabwana kenzie kalokole kanamdanganya,pia ana jeuri ya wale wanawake wenye kazi so wahat a man for?hana mapenzi ya dhati, muepuke na nadhani hawezi kushinda akikushtaki hujamlipia nyumba,muhimu mtoto anasurvive mamen!pole sana ndo wanawake mnaowapigia DEBE TUWE NAO SAWA, UCHAFU MTUPU,mimi ningependekeza tuwe kama waarabu,mwanamke ni mshenzi siku zote,sii ndugu yako huyo.sory nami yalishanikuta makubwa jamani, ninao uchungu sana na hii mijiwanawake ni mama zetu na dada zetu lakini mmmh siwapendi kabisa,
     
  15. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

    #15
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    Pole mazee, kila siku duniani ni masomo tu!
     
  16. Bluray

    Bluray JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Unaona kwa nini hatuoi?

    Wewe unatakiwa kumwambia no more Mr. Nice Guy, akitaka kujifanya anajua sana unampigia mahesabu na hizo ulizotoa 100% (za mtoto boarding na mfanyakazi etc) mpige either 50% kila mmoja au yeye atoe zaidi, si ana kipato zaidi, sasa nini mambo ya chako changu changu changu?

    Ndiyo maana watu hawataki kuoa, na wakioa kama alivyosema Donald Trump, prenup mbele.

    Hawa ndio wanawake wetu modern wanaokuwa fast kusema "whatever a man can do, a woman can do more" halafu ukileta hint ya an inch of chivarly wanataka a mile? They want to eat their cake and have it too, it is against the fundamental laws of physics.

    Mdau kama umeileta hii story kwa ukunjufu wote huyu mama hawezi kukushurutisha kumlipia, kwani bongo siamini kama tuna alimony (this is what this amounts to now) na hata kama ingekuwapo, alimony hailipwi na bwana aliye na kipato cha chini kumlipa mama mwenye kipato cha juu.
     
  17. E

    Exaud Minja Member

    #17
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Mnaachana kwasababu ya tofauti ya madhehebu ambayo yanamuamini Mungu mmoja ni aibu kwa wachungaji, wazazi, nyie wenyewe na ndugu zenu wanaowazunguka kwa kushindwa kulijua neno la Mungu.
    Mtoe sababu nyingine sio hiyo ya kufunga ndoa Lutheran au huko kwingine kama ni TAG, AGAPE au penginepo.
    Mumuogope Mungu mtamtesa mtoto kwa kukosa mapenzi ya Baba na Mama.
    Mnachotaka kukifanya nawahakikishia hamtapata baraka maishani mwenu kabisa.
    Nawaombeni mbadili mawazo kama kweli mlipendana tokea mwanzo na Mungu atawabariki.
     
  18. K

    Kaka Mdogo Member

    #18
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Kwanza nyie mlikuwa hampendani na wala hamkuwa na mpango wa kuishi pamoja! Dini haiwezi kuwa ni kikwazo kwa watu wazima wawili ambao wameamua kuishi pamoja. Labda kama uniambie nyie ni watoto wadogo ambao mmemaliza form 6 bado mnasubiria boom la serikali mkiwa vyuoni au la wazazi wenu.
    Anyway, hakuna ndoa hapo na wala hakuna sheria inayoshugulikia mahusiano ya watu na matendo ya ngono. Endelea zako na yeye aendelee na maisha yake.
     
  19. L

    Lubaluka JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Kuna kitu kinaitwa Cheti cha ndoa.. Hiki kinakua na sahii ya wanandoa ( mume na mke ) then sahii ya mashahidi wawili na wadhamini wawili.Pia kinakuwa na sahii ya Padri/mchungaji/shekhe au kiongozi wa serikali --- inategemea ni wapi ndoa imefungiwa. Hapo ndio utasema uko kwenye ndoa mazeee ... huyo mwanamke labda aende kwa kalumanzira lakini kwenye sheria hakuna kitu anaweza fanikiwa kwa kutaka umlipie house rent, then aje na mtu wake mwingine wapeane malavi davi in that house !! No way..
     
  20. S

    Sir Member

    #20
    Aug 24, 2009
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    Pole sana kwa yaliyokukuta,
    Kwa kuongezea kwa yote yaliyosemwa hapo juu, tafuta muafaka vinginevyo mtoto atateseka na nina imani hatawasamehe akija kujua kwamba mlimtelekeza boarding simply because ya unyanyapaa uliojificha katika imani.
    Hii dhana inayoinyemelea jamii ya kuokoka ni hatari kwani Mungu hapendezwi na hizi hukumu zitolewazo juu ya watu wengine.
    Watu wote wakizingatia upendo, dunia itakuwa mahali pazuri pa kuishi
     
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