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msaada huyu naye ana mapenzi au...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Bibi Kizee, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. B

    Bibi Kizee JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 27, 2009
    Joined: Feb 18, 2008
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    rafiki yangu ana mkasa unamuumiza kichwa najua hapa hapaharibiki neno, wanajamii tumsaidie..


    ....akiwa ni mama aliye na familia thabiti na amedumu katika ndoa kwa miaka zaidi ya 7, anatatizo linamsumbua miaka yote haelewi kama kweli ni mapenzi au kuna kinachotafutwa zaidi, takriban miaka 14 nyuma akiwa class mate wangu alikutana na kijana mmoja akiwa ni kampani ya kusoma, waliendelea kufahamiana wakawa marafiki wakubwa na huyu kijana, ikawa si tu marafiki wa shule bali hata nyumbani, kijana alijenga pia mazoea na ndugu wa kiume wa huyu dada,

    mazoea hayakuishia hapo, kijana alimtaka huyu binti kimapenzi kwa kweli dada hakuwa tayari alikuwa na msimamo mzuri sana, kwa upande huyu kaka naye alikuwa ametulia na ni handsome kwa kiasi chake, lakini dada hakuwa tayari kuharibu usichana wake, miaka ilikatika huyu dada hakubadili msimamo,

    mambo ya sekondari yakapita hadi wakafika chuo kikuu kijana hakukata tamaa, sasa alikuwa serious anataka kumuoa au kuishi na huyu dada, hapo ilikuwa kazi kidogo kwa dada maana kaka ndio analia kuwa hali halali, lakini binti anadai hakuwa amempenda huyu kaka awe mume au mpenzi wake, na haswa kwa kuwa kwa msimamo wake wa dini anajua wasingeweza kuoana lakini kijana hakukubaliana na hilo, alikuwa yupo tayari hata kwa ndoa ya mkuu wa wilaya, huyu dada alisisitiza wabaki marafiki tu na si wapenzi, hali ikuwa mbaya kwa kijana,

    bahati huyu dada akiwa chuo mwaka haukukatika akapata kijana wa dini yake ambaye moja kwa moja alihitaji kumuoa, binti alikuabali, na mwaka unaofuatia akafunga ndoa na huyu kaka wa dini yake, kwakweli lilikuwa pigo kwa huyu kijana, ilibaki kidogo a-discontinue, ingawa binti alimueleza wazi toka ana mchumba kuwa sasa ninamchumba hata movement za kuja kunisalimia upunguze,


    baada ya kuolewa huyu kaka haikupita miaka 3 naye akaoa, kwahiyo sasa anafamilia yeke pia, tatizo huyu kaka haishi kumsumbua huyu dada kuwa yeye ndio chaguo lake na ndio mke wake, amefanya kila mbinu hadi amejiweka karibu na huyu dada na familia yake, na humfuata hadi ofisini lunch time, simu haiziishi kwa huyu dada na mumewe pia yaani niseme sasa ni family friend!!!

    huyu dada anasema hamuelewi kwakweli, ni nini haswa anahitaji, na anakiri hajawahi kujihusisha naye kimapenzi toka wapo shule, ila sasa anamtia wasiwasi na hajui amuepuke vipi, maana akibadili namba akimmkwepa atamtafuta tu, na wimbo wake ndio huohuo ww ndio chagua langu, siwezi kuwa mbali nawe, meseji za mapenzi hazikauki... na je amueleze mumewe au la, je siku mumewe akijua kuwa jamaa huwa anamfuata mkewe itakuwaje...
     
  2. Kaniki1974

    Kaniki1974 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 27, 2009
    Joined: Dec 2, 2008
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    Mpe akule labda akakukinai immediately na kuacha kukusumbua...akikolea zaidi sijui sasa.
     
  3. Bluray

    Bluray JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 27, 2009
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    Hasidi huyo, inabidi mume mtu aambiwe mapema isije kuwa matatizo.
     
  4. Obhusegwe

    Obhusegwe JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 27, 2009
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    Hiyo inaonyesha dhahiri kuwa Mungu alikuumbia huyo mtu, ila kwa sababu ya tofauti zetu wanadamu za kidini, ukaamua kumwasi Mungu na kuolewa na huyo mumeo, of coz it'll haunt you forever!! Sorry!!
     
  5. S

    Sumuni Member

    #5
    Apr 27, 2009
    Joined: Feb 19, 2009
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    Kaaaazi kwelikweli! Kuna kosa ambalo nafikiri huyu dada alilifanya. Mara tu alipompata mtu ambaye yeye alifikiri ni chaguo lake, alipaswa kumfahamisha yaliyokuwa yakimsibu bila kujali kama kufanya hivyo kungeathiri matarajio ya ndoa. Kama huyo mchumba mpya alikuwa serious, angemuelewa na wangekuwa na mikakati ya pamoja ya kuondokana na adha ya huyo kinga'anga'nizi.

    Hata hivyo bado ananafasi. Anachopaswa kufanya, kwa mtazamo wangu, ni kuongea na mumewe na kumueleza kila kitu. Ifahamike kuwa, kwakuwa huyo rafiki wa zamani hana cha kupoteza (kwa mujibu wa maelezo), akishindwa kumpata huyo dada kwa ushawishi anaoendelea nao sasa, anaoenekana kuwa tayari kufanya lolote hata kama litamgharimu huyo dada kwa kiasi gani. Kimsingi, haoneshi kuwa rafiki wa kweli, atacho kitaka ni kumuonja. Kwahiyo, in whatever the way, huyo dada anahitaji msaada wa mumewe katika kukabiliana na tatizo hilo.

    kwa kadri anavyochelewa ndivyo anavyolifanya suala hilo kuwa gumu zaidi. Najua kuna ugumu katika kuchukua hatua hii. Kwanza kwa kuwa mume hataelewa kiurahisi. Atahisi kuwa ama walikuwa marafiki, au bado ni marafiki na mke amehisi yu njiani kugundulika na hivyo anajihami.

    Pili, kwa hulka za wanaume, ni vigumu sana kuamini kuwa, mama hajabanjuliwa na hilo jamaa, kwa kuwa huyo dada ameifanya kuwa siri kwa muda mrefu.

    But in any way, she has to talk about it to the husband. No matter what is likely to happen. It should be noted that, it will happen anyway. Ni afadhali aanze yeye kuliko kuanzishiwa na circumstances.

    They are my personal views...
     
  6. Yo Yo

    Yo Yo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 27, 2009
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    na wakapime DNA haraka iwezekanavyo kama wana watoto
     
  7. Mr Kiroboto

    Mr Kiroboto JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 27, 2009
    Joined: May 3, 2008
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    kumbe wapo wengi mie nilijua wapo wachache tu,huyo jamaa anataka kuonja tu hasa ukichukulia kashatumia saana muda wake dhidi ya huyo dada.Kama vipi mwambie shoga yako amuonjeshe huyo jamaa,ila amini huyo anataka kuonja tu maana kuna jamaa yangu naye alikuwa na katabia kachafu kama hicho
     
  8. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 28, 2009
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    Ama kweli ya kale hayanuki!
     
  9. B

    Bibi Kizee JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: Feb 18, 2008
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    asante sana kwa ushauri ndugu nadhani tupo katika mstari mmoja na ww, nami nilimshauri hivyo ingawa aliniambia kuwa huyu kaka ni king'ang'anizi kweli yaani na kaiona huyu dada amekasirika anajifanya ameacha kwa muda baada ya muda anarudi tena na gia zake, mie nadhani labda nia yake ni kumpata tu aone nini hasa anachokikatalia siku zote, ukweli huyu dada anasema hampendi yaani hana hata chepe ya mapenzi kwa huyu kaka, ni rafiki tu
     
  10. B

    Bibi Kizee JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: Feb 18, 2008
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    asante ka ushauri ila kwa upande wake huyu dada yeye anadaai hana penzi hata chembe kwa huyu kaka yaani haijatokea kufeel like awe mpenzi wake, ni rafiki tu, kama ni mapenzi ya mungu basi na huyu dada naye angempenda na nadhani hapo hata jamii ya dini yake ingemtenga isingekuwa issue!!
     
  11. Kisiwa S

    Kisiwa S Member

    #11
    Apr 30, 2009
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    Kule utotoni ok. Lakini sasa kwa kuendeleza upumbavu wake amekosa adabu kabisa. Akizidi waambie ndugu zako watajuwa jinsi ya kumkomesha. Iwapo hatokoma mweleze mumeo atapata anachokitafuta.
     
  12. m

    majuva Senior Member

    #12
    May 1, 2009
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    hawa ndio waleee tunaowaita maharamia wa wake za watu mwambie akae naye chonjo kabisaaa wala asimzoee tena, anataka kuonja huyo, mwambie shoga amueleze mumewe isije ikamtokea puani akaambiwa kuwa ni wake wa siku zote walikuwa wanamzunguka, ikiwezekana hizi familia mbili zikae na kuliweka hili wazi ili jamaa aache huyo mchezo wake!!!

     
  13. B

    Balingilaki Member

    #13
    May 1, 2009
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    aye si atulie katika ndoa yake na huyo dada amweleze huyo kaka akae mbali na kivyake yeye ni mke wa m2 NDO MAANA MNAUGUA UKIMWI
     
  14. S

    Shingo Senior Member

    #14
    May 1, 2009
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    Huyo mwanaume ni fisadi, fisadi kwa maana halisi ya ufisadi na lengo lake ni kumharibia mwenzie. Alimpenda huyo dada lakini huyo dada hampendi na yeye anajua kuwa hapendwi. Ila anataka aridhishe nafsi yake katika kitu kimoja ambacho ameshajipangia mwenyewe; kutembea na huyo dada.Huyo dada asilegeze msimamo na kama wengine wanavyoshauri ahakikishe amemwambia mumewe. Hizo message za mapenzi siku mme akiziona hataamini kuwa hapa hakuna kitu. Vile vile amwambie mke wa huyo kaka, ili alihamishie soo kwake. Hilo soo halimhusu huyo mdada. Akimwambia mke wa huyo mwanaume vile vile itasaidia kusambaratisha hayo matamanio kharam aliyo nayo huyo mwanaume. Kusema kweli lengo lake ni kutimiza ahadi aliyojiwekea mwenyewe ya kuchovya kwa huyo mdada come sun, come rain. Sasa huyo dada akizidi kukubali hiyo torture ya kusumbuliwa for ever, ana matatizo.Alihamishie kwake huyo mwanaume kwa kumwambia mke wake huyo mwanaume.
     
  15. The Farmer

    The Farmer JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 1, 2009
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    Sasa bibi kizee, Mtu atakuwaje na penzi na mtu ambaye hajawahi kufanya nae hayo mapenzi. Yeye ampe Jamaa kwanza ndio ajue kama kweli hata mpenda. kwa kipindi chote hicho jamaa alivyofwatilia hii inaonyenya Jamaa ndio ambaye angekuwa mume mwema kwake. Tofauti za dini huyo shoga yako asifanye kama ndio sababu, kwani huyo kijana halijui hilo. Alishawahi kumwambia abadili dini huyo kijana aka- reject?
     
  16. B

    Bibi Kizee JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 1, 2009
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    Asante ushauri utafika, tatizo unajua wanaume hawaeleweki anaogopa akimwambia mumewe hajui atafikiriaje, ila mie naona huo ndio uamuzi wa busara vinginevyo hili jamaa litafanya akose amani ya nafsi,
     
  17. B

    Bibi Kizee JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 1, 2009
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    Mh hapa kidogo naona ***!! hivyo penzi ni lazima ufanye mapenzi?? hivi lile tendo ndio mapenzi??
    kuhusu dini huyu kijana hakuwa tayari kubadili alitaka wafunge ndoa ya serikali, na huyo mdada hakuwa tayari kufanya hayo mapenzi kabla ya kuwa na ndoa ya dini yake, ndoa ambayo anaitambua yeye ndio ndoa halali!!
     
  18. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 1, 2009
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    Huyo jamaa si fisadi kama wengi wanavyojaribu kusuggest. Wamekuwa na mahusiano ya karibu na huyo dada kwa miaka takriban 14. Amekuwa persistently anaamini huyo dada ndio chaguo lake pamoja na kwamba yeye keshaoa na huyo dada keshaolewa. Amekuwa anajitahidi kujiweka karibu na huyo dada pamoja ukweli wote kuhusu marital status yake na ya huyo dada.

    Kama angelikuwa fisadi (i.e. anataka kumwonja tu huyo dada!), kwa hakika asingeweza kufuatilia kwa muda wote huu (14 yrs!).

    Huyo jamaa ni mgonjwa. Ana tatizo kubwa la kisaikolojia linamsumbua. Huyo dada ajaribu kumshawishi huyo kaka kuonana na mshauri nasaha. Hili litamsaidia sana huyo 'rafiki yake' kuondokana na tatizo hilo na pia kupunguza usumbufu unaompata huyo dada. Lakini pia huyo dada ilitakiwa amshirikishe mumewe tangu mwanzo. Kwa sasa atabidi awe extra careful kama anataka kumshirikisha mumewe.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2009
  19. N

    Nibo Member

    #19
    May 1, 2009
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    Huyo brazameni mharibifu...siku nikikutana nae lazima nimtwike ndoo za kutosha...anataka kumbanjua mke wa m2...yeye akibanjuliwa mke wake atafurahi????....
     
  20. Outlier

    Outlier JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 1, 2009
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    Huyo 'kijana' ana tatizo la akili linaitwa OBSESSION.

    Umeona movie ya Beyonce? Obsessed?
     
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