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Mpenzi wangu ana chuki na ndugu yangu?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Iteitei Lya Kitee, Nov 25, 2008.

  1. Iteitei Lya Kitee

    Iteitei Lya Kitee JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Jan 2, 2008
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    Wana jukwaa,ningeomba ushauri wenu.
    Nimekua na mpenzi wangu kwa zaidi ya miaka miwili ingawa alikua anaishi kwao lkn alikua akija kwangu na hata kushinda au kulala siku zingine.
    Sasa hivi majuzi mdogo wangu wa kiume alihamia kwangu baada ya chuo chao kufungwa ghafla na hivyo tukawa tukiishi nae.Tatizo likaanzia hapo siku moja nikarudi nkampa mdogo wangu hela akanunue vitu kwa ajili ya kupika na mpenzi wangu huyu akaanza kulalamika sana mpaka sasa bado hatujapata mwafaka.Zaidi anadai kua kuja kwake kwangu atasitisha kwani inaonekana amekua akikwaza ndugu zangu,na pia anadai kua huyu mdogo wangu hamrespect na pia anaona kama yeye anamzibia uhuru wa kukaa nami kama ndugu yake.
    Nilipokaa na mdogo wangu kumwuliza yeye alikana kabisa/katu katu kwamba hana tatizo nae na pia anamheshim sana kama shemeji yake,kumweleza huyu mpenzi wangu akaruka akasema ni mnafiki na wala hamaanishi hivyo,cha ajabu nimemwambia niwakutanishe yeye na mdogo wangu amekataa akisema hawezi kukaa na kubisha na shemeji yake yeye atakachokifanya ni kutokuja kwangu.
    JE HAPO MIMI NIFANYEJE KWANI NIKO NJIA PANDA,nafikiria niachane nae au la kwani simwelewi ananimaanishia nini.
    jana nikawa nimempa hatima kua kama hawezi kuishi na ndugu zangu kwa upendo kama anaonipa mimi basi sioni sababu ya kuwa nae akanitumia msg kua NITAFUTE ATAKAE WEZA WAPENDA NDG ZANGU.
    Nimekua njia panda kwani kiukweli nlikua na malengo makubwa nae ila naona nashindwa.Je nifanyeje?
     
  2. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: May 3, 2008
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    Mkuu naomba kwanza uelewe Ndugu yako siku zote ni wa kwanza katika maisha.Rafiki ni mtu wa pili Huyo mpenzi wako ni mtu wa pili kwa jinsi alivyo onyesha tabia chafu ya kumkataa mdogo wako huyo hakufai achana nae asije akakuletea balaa mbeleni anaweza akawakataa hata wazazi wako kama anamkataa mdogo wako.
    Huyo achana nae kwanza amejiengue yeye mwenyewe hakupendi huyo inaonyesha anamasrahi binafsi katika uhusiano wenu kuwepo kwa mdogo wako hapo kwake ni kikwazo kikubwa.
    Kwa hiyo ni bora kuachana nae tu wapo wengi na utapata atakaye kupenda wewe pamoja na ndugu zako.
     
  3. dmaujanja1

    dmaujanja1 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Nov 24, 2008
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    Kaka huyo bint kaanza mapema mno vurugu ukimuoa huyo cha moto utakipata kama ameshindwa kuishi na shemeji yake Je wifi zake itakuwaje? Please look 4another solution lakini mwanadada huyo hata atakukondesha bure.
    Take It Or Leave It Uhsauri wangu ndiyo huo kaka
     
  4. Iteitei Lya Kitee

    Iteitei Lya Kitee JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Jan 2, 2008
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    Nashukuru wakuu,kwa hizo advise zenu,am still waiting more ushauri so that nijue ni nini chakufanya.
    INANIUMIZA KICHWA SANA COZ ANAEFANYA HIVYO NI MTU NLIEMPENDA NA PIA SIKUTARAJIA KAMA ANGEWEZA KUWA HIVYO HASA UKIZINGATIA NA ELIMU YAKE PIA.
     
  5. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Sep 25, 2007
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    Huyo ndugu yako ni scapegoat tu .. ila binti hakupendi siku nyingi ... na majibu yake mbona yako wazi .. usifunge moyo wako tafakari kwa upana zaidi .. mtu ambaye anakupenda angependa ku-adjust to any situation yoyote ile ilimradi tu awe karibu na wewe .. huyu hata kujaribu??? mhhmm! dalili za huyu ni hatari .. tena si kwamba hapendi ndugu bali nawe hakupendi pia
     
  6. B

    BeNoir Member

    #6
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: May 6, 2008
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    ILK pole.
    Japo kwenye hili huyo dada ameonyesha mapungufu yake makubwa ya kutopenda ndugu, lakini jaribu kufikiria kwa undani zaidi kwani safari yako ya mahusiano haiishii hapo.
    Mara nyingi tunachukulia for granted kwamba wazazi wetu, ndugu zetu, rafiki zetu wako 100%, kumbe nao ni binadamu tu wana mapungufu pia. Na pia mara nyingi watu tuko wazuri kweli kuficha makucha yetu.
    Mfano halisi: Mimi nimefanya kazi kubwa kweli kumfanya mzazi wangu afikie hapo alipo na kumuona mwenzangu katika ndoa anastahili heshima na nafasi ya kuongoza nyumba yake. Lakini ilikuwa ni ngumu kweli kwa vile nilibidi nideal na mama yangu mzazi. Kwenye issue yangu kwa kweli huyo mwenzangu hakuwa na ubaya huo aliopewa ila hofu ilikuwa ni watu watakosa access na mimi. Bahati nzuri mwenzangu naye ana kazi nzuri na pia hakuwa na mawazo hayo kwani tangu tunaanza mahusiano alishajua kuwa nina majukumu na kwa vile yeye hakuwa na challenges kama za kwangu, haikuwa issue kuwahudumia familia yangu. Lakini kila alilofanya likaonekana baya. Saa zingine alifanya mambo hata kupita ambalo ningefanya mimi, lakini wapi. Lakini nilipoisoma hali na kufanya uchunguzi wa kina, niliona watu wangu na hasa mzazi wangu hawakuwa wema. Hivyo kuwa muangalifu. Utaacha wewe maisha yako yao ama wameshaishi yao au hawatakupa nafasi uende kuishi yao.
    Pia inawezekana huyo dada anaona privacy inapungua. Kwani nyumba yako ni kubwa kiasi gani?
    Najua wengi watakuwa na mawazo tofauti lakini ukweli ndio huo ndugu zetu ni binadamu tu kama wengine na wako capable of anything.
     
  7. Victoire

    Victoire JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Jul 4, 2008
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    huyo msichana achana nae kwanza hapo ni mpenzi tu du je angekuwa mke?Inashangaza sana kwa kweli binti kukosa upendo kwa ndugu zako namna ile!Kwanza hilo jibu alilokupa kuwa utafute atakaejali ndugu zako inaashiria kuwa huyu binti ni mbinafsi sana!
     
  8. Ben Saanane

    Ben Saanane Verified User

    #8
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Jan 18, 2007
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    Pole Ndugu,

    Hapo inabidi ushukuru kwa kuwa ameonyesha tabia zake mapema kabisa,na inavyoonekana ukiendelea kumshawishi ni kwamba atakuja kukufanya mtumwa maanake utakua umekubaliana na masharti yake ya kukulazimisha wewe kutona umuhimu wa ndugu zako.Kama anakupenda kweli pia angewavumilia ndugu zako
     
  9. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 25, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2008
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    Aisee wala sioni ugumu wa kuchukua hatua utakuwa wapi... mwanzo u have to understand that huyo mpenzi wako si lazima awapende watu wako wote, but she shd be able to tolerate them becoz they are part of you... the same thing would apply to you.. lakini kama mwenyewe keshakwambia kuwa ukamtafute atakayewapenda ndugu zako, basi hiyo ni dalili ya kasheshe nyingi sana in the future, u will be forced to choose between your family and her alot of times if notalla the time, haya i dont think u really wnat to be put in a situation where u have to choose between your own mother and a stranger that u just met..... piga moyo konde and let her go, at least u havent yet committed.. at the end of it all the final decision lies with u
     
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