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Mpenzi au mke wako akibakwa...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Sep 26, 2011.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Yaweza kuwa ni mpenzi wako au mke wako au mama wa watoto wako; linatokea tukio ambapo anabakwa (ujambazi, kuvamiwa, kutegeshwa n.k). Na anakuja na machozi na kukulia na kusema tukio hilo na ni kweli vipimo vya hospitali vinaonesha katendewa jambo hilo.

    a. Unafanya nini?
    b. Unamuamini?
    c. Utamsaidia kupita kwenye tukio hilo?
    d. Utaendelea kuwa naye.

    Je kama wewe ndio mwanamke na tukio hilo limekutokea na unawezekano wa kulificha kwa mwenza wako je utaficha hutamwambia? Ukiamua kumwambia unatarajia nini?
     
  2. Rejao

    Rejao JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 26, 2011
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    hapa ndipo mtu anakuwa na wakati mgumu sana,,,
    kwa sasa ukisema utafanya hivi au vile kabla huijakutokea, utakuwa unajidanganya!
     
  3. ndetichia

    ndetichia JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 26, 2011
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    mmmhh hapa inahitajika busara zaidi na sio kukurupuka maana ishu kama hizi hupelekea watu wengine kujiua au kujiingiza kwenye mambo mabaya(pornography) na kupotea moja kwa mojakwa kile anachodhani kuwa hakutendewa haki na jamii haitomuelewa..
     
  4. Saint Ivuga

    Saint Ivuga JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 26, 2011
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    si utaenda kufanya vipimo lakini?
     
  5. Rejao

    Rejao JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    tatizo siyo kupima...psychological utakuwa affected sana
     
  6. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 26, 2011
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    kubakwa ni kitu ambacho kinaathiri kisaikolojia,sio kwa mhanga pekee,bali pia hata kwa familia na watu wa karibu. mwenza wa mhanga wa kubakwa anahitaji msaada karibu sawa na aliyebakwa. ataadhirika kisaikolojia,lakini cha kwanza atakua kwenye denial phase. hatoamini, halafu hatoamini kama mbakwaji alibakwa bila ridhaa ama kusababisha mwenyewe.
    kama mimi ndie mhanga, cha kwanza ni kumtaarifu umpendae (anaweza kuwa sio mwenza,itategemea na mahusiano yetu yakoje kikawaida na wakati wa tukio). they say when u ar not happy u call the person whom u think loves u the most. and when u ar happy u call the person whom u lov the most. so wa kwanza kumuambia na ku-share nae the grief ni yule unaejua anakupenda sana (anaweza kuwa mwenza/mpenzi, mama, dada, rafiki wa karibu wa kike ama wa kiume).
     
  7. Mpita Njia

    Mpita Njia JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Jinsi tunavyochukuliana na wenz\i wetu wakati wa majonzi na majaribu kama haya ndio kipimo kizuri sana cha kuonyesha upendo wetu. Ni rahisi sana, kwa kuwaza haraka haraka, kwa mtu kudhani kuwa unaweza kumsaidia mtu kama huyo katika yote atakayoyahitaji wakati huo. Lakini kutenda hivyo ni vigumu sana.
    Kama mimi ndio nipo kwenye nafasi ya mtoa msaada, jambo la kwanza ni kumwonyesha, kwa dhati, kuwa u pamoja naye. lakini msaada mkubwa anaohitaji pamoja na mambo mengine ni ushauri nasaha ili kuitengeneza saikolojia yake iweze kukubaliana na yaliyotokea na aweze kuishi nayo bila kumletea matatizo makubwa. Hii itakuwa ni fursa yangu ya kuonyesha uopendo wangu wkake kwa kumpatia kila aina ya msaada atakaouhitaji kutoka kwangu
     
  8. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    kumsupport. Hapo unapiga moyo konde, ziweke hsia zako kando. Kuwa nae bega kwa bega hadi awe sawa
     
  9. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

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    upendo huvumilia. Kwenye furaha na majonzi daima pamoja. Nitampenda zaidi ili afarajike na kusahau maumivu
     
  10. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Na ukiwa umebakwa kabla ya kuwa na mpenzi wa kudumu, jee umhadithie ukiwa nae pamoja au uuchune tu?
     
  11. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Sio rahisi kujiweka kwenye viatu vya uhanga wa ubakaji. Na inaonyesha kumpigia mtu umpendae ukishabakwa si rahisi na takwimu huonyesha kuwa wanaobakwa hawafanyi hivyo, hata kumwambia mama yako inakuwa tabu licha ya kuwa wengi wanaamini kuwa hakuna awapendae kama mama zao.
     
  12. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Mkuu,

    Tunajua kwamba mambo mabaya mengi huweza kututokea wakati wowote ikiwemo hayo unayoeleza au hata kifo...Ila si vizuri kuyafikiria saaana kwana yanaweza kumpa mtu msongo wa mawazo na hata kuathiri maisha yake kabisa endapo atakuwa anayafikiria mara kwa mara. Kwangu mimi binafsi hupenda kuamini kwamba hayatatokea!!

    Sasa kama jambo hilo likimtokea mwenzangu....ni jukumu langu kuhakikisha kuwa anamalizana nalo salama na kurudi katika maisha ya kawaida. Ni kipindi ambacho nitaonesha upendo wa hali ya juu na kujitolea kwa lolote kama vile wakati namwona kwa mara ya kwanza. Siwezi kumwonesha hata chembe ya shaka hata kama maelezo yake yana makona kona.

    In short...Kama mke wangu anataka kunifool basi anieleze kabakwa hata kama alifanya hivyo kwa hiari. Kwani hawezi kubakwa na mtu yule yule zaisi ya mara moja!!

    Babu DC!
     
  13. Saint Ivuga

    Saint Ivuga JF-Expert Member

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    yap ni kweli...hapa sasa inabidi watafutwe wana saikologi.bila hivyo kuna uwezekano wa kujinyonga
     
  14. Mamndenyi

    Mamndenyi JF-Expert Member

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    nitarudi tena.
     
  15. S

    SURUMA JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Mwana Kijiji hii kusema UTAFANYA NINI kabla haijatokea ni ngumu saaana...NI sawa na kusema SIKU NIKIMFUMANIA JAMAA NA MKE WANGU NITAFANYA kadha wa kadha...SI KWELI KWANI MAAMUZI MENGINE NI SENSITIVE MNO na hutegemea zaidi na muda limetokea, wewe upo katika hali gani muda huo na factors nyingine nyingi ambazo kwa kusema kabala haijatokea tunakuwa tunajifariji (kama si kujidanganya) zaidi.....

    Mfano hai ni jamaa aliyembiwa mkewe ana mahusiano na njemba ingine.Mme akasema anaweza kuvumilia kuona TUKIO ili kupata kidhibiti...Mbona alizimia siku anachungulia tundu la ufunguo kupata kidhibiti kwa yaliyokuwa yakisemwa....NI NGUMU Mwana Kijiji ki ukweli
     
  16. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #16
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Hili swali lina implications nyingi sana; vipi kwamba baada ya kubakwa mama anapata ujauzito? - wapo watu mashuhuri ambao walizaliwa kutokana na rape! vipi kama katika kubakwa akapata kilema au kuambukizwa?
     
  17. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 26, 2011
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    Kwa matukio ya aina hii ni ngumu sana mtu kujiwekea msimamo, kwamba unatafanya nini likitokea tukio...
    Unajisikiaje kujenga picha ya mwenzi wako kubakwa? Pia ni sawa pia kumwambia mwanamke aseme atafanyaje akibakwa......
    Au mtu uulizwe utafanya nini mwenza wako akifa....

     
  18. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 26, 2011
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    No woman i believe will tell her man if she has been raped!! Ukweli usemwe tu hapa. Wanaume hawaangalii tukio hilo kama uhalifu bali kama kitendo cha ngono.Ukimwambia kuwa umebakwa si ajabu ukajikuta unadhalilika mara ya pili kwa maana ya kulaumiwa kuwa umejitakia.
     
  19. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 26, 2011
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    Utaulizwa masuala kama why did you open the door na unajua uko peke yako? Why does he even know your address kama hukumpa? Na shutuma nyingi kama inasababishwa na the way you dress up, the way you conduct yourself in front of him

    Na hofu ya kusema inazidi hasa ikiwa mbakaji ni mtu unaemjua
     
  20. ndetichia

    ndetichia JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 26, 2011
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    hata kama humjui bado inakuwa nakaugumu fulani kuwa atanielewaje..
     
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