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Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Shukuru, Oct 11, 2010.

  1. Shukuru

    Shukuru JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 11, 2010
    Joined: Sep 3, 2007
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    Never Go To The HR For a Salary Increase...............


    After 2 years of selfless service, a Gentle person (affirmative action) realized that he had not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment no commendation and that the Company was not doing any thing about it.

    So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.

    The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying.

    My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.


    The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

    Manager:-
    How many days are there in a year?
    Man:-
    365 days and some times 366

    Manager:-
    how many hours make up a day?
    Man:-
    24 hours

    Manager:-
    How long do you work in a day?
    Man:-
    8am to 4pm. I.e. 8 hours a day.

    Manager:-
    So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
    Man:-
    (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours I.e. 1/3(one third)

    Manager:-
    That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
    Man:-
    122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

    Manager:-
    Do you come to work on weekends?
    Man:-
    No sir

    Manager:-
    How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
    Man:-
    52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

    Manager:-
    Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
    Man:-
    18 days.

    Manager:-
    OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
    Man:-
    4 days
    Manager:-
    Do you work on New Year day?
    Man:-
    No sir!

    Manager:-
    Do you come to work on labour day?
    Man:-
    No sir!

    Manager:-
    So how many days are left?
    Man:-
    2 days sir!

    Manager:-
    Do you come to work on the (Independence Day )?
    Man:-
    No sir!

    Manager:-
    So how many days are left?
    Man:-
    1 day sir!

    Manager:-
    Do you work on Christmas day?
    Man:-
    No sir!

    Manager:-
    So how many days are left?
    Man:-
    None sir!

    Manager:-
    So, what are you claiming?
    Man:-
    I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
    Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!





     
  2. p

    pierre JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 11, 2010
    Joined: Sep 3, 2010
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    hahahahahahahahahahah waw.kweli huyu HR ni mathematician
     
  3. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 13, 2010
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
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    Hakyamungu hii kiboko jamaa mkali wa namba si mchezo
     
  4. L

    Lady JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 13, 2010
    Joined: Apr 12, 2010
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    hahahahahaha, hii kali!
     
  5. J

    Jafar JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 13, 2010
    Joined: Nov 3, 2006
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    Unbelivable
     
  6. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 19, 2010
    Joined: Sep 24, 2007
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    HR yuko shallow kinoma.... in the next post nitakujulisheni why?
     
  7. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 19, 2010
    Joined: Sep 24, 2007
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    In a year there are 365 days
    There are 52 sundays and 52 Saturdays = 104days which are work free leaving us with 261 days to work
    There are 14days sick leave deduct from 261days = 247 days to work
    Assume there are 12 days public holiday leaving us with 235 days to work

    In every one year 28days are for Annual leave which leaves us with 207 days to work
    The HR claims that the employee works only for 1/3 of a day on all the days he came to work.... so what is 1/3 of 207?? 69 days of 24hour service.....

    now what the hell is this crazy HR trying to prove?? mbona hesabu zake za ukihiyo sana au ndo anafanya intimidation??? aitwe sir??

    I guess huyo employee hakuwa technical yawezekana alikung'uta ungwini kama HR wake lol!!
     
  8. Akami

    Akami Member

    #8
    Nov 27, 2010
    Joined: Sep 18, 2009
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    Hr kihiyo
     
  9. Good Guy

    Good Guy JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 27, 2010
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
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    Bravo i will say this to everyone i employ and starts claiming for salary increament.Good 1 .cheers
     
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