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Mmebinafsisha kwa wasichana wa ndani!?.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by ngoshwe, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Ukijaribu kuwauliza baadhi ya wale wa "enzi za mwalimu" watakuambia siku zile akina mama zenu wengi hawakuwa na kazi na hata kama aliandika mfanyakazi wa ndani yeye alilijitahidi kila kitu kinachomhusu "baba/mumewe" kufanya mwenyewe ikiwemo kumpikia chakula.

    Enzi zile akina mama wengi walijua kanuni na kuzizingatia. Ikiwa mume utachelewa kwenye mihangaiko yako, ni lazima atakusubiri ili ahakikishe kuwa umeingia ndani, umeoga na umekuandalia chakula na umekula kabla ya kualala. Ikiwa utajifanya hupendi kula chakula alichopika, hicho chakula hakitatupwa, kitahifadhiwa na siku ya siku wataitwa wazee washuhudie jinsi unavyomfanyia mwenzio. Kwa mila zile, wazee watakulazlimsha tu kula mpaka kikatike chote labda kama mkeo atakuombe msamaha.

    Ikiwa mke pia ni mama wa nyumbani, atahakikisha nguo za mumewe za kuvaa kazini kesho zinaandaliwa mapema ili asubuhi asitoke akiwa hovyo hovyo..(ilikuwa ni aibu kwa mke ikiwa mume anaonekana ofisini akiwa hovyo).

    Wale wa "enzi za Mwalimu" ndio wanaolaumu hiki kizazi cha sasa cha dotcom cha "copy & paste". Sasa eti hata mke kama hana kazi (mama wa nyumbabi) atataka kuandika/kuajiri binti wa kazi (ainaitwa dada). Huyo ndio anakuwa kama Waziri Mkuu wa familia. Kila kitu atafanya huyo kuanzia kuangalia watoto na hata baadhi ya "welfares" za baba.

    Potelea mbali hata kama kipato chenu ni duni, mama hawezi hata kwenda sokoni, hawezi kuthubutu hata kuingia jikoni kuweka chai wa watoto (wengi hawana kabisa hata huo muda wa kujua hata kama vyombo wala jiko liko safi).

    Wapo wengine kama hana kazi au ana kazi yeye akiwa nyumbani atashindwa runingani muda wote akiangalia akina "MASANJA, JOTI, FUTUI, KINGWENDU, BAMBO nk kama si kupitia video basi "LIVE"

    Wanasema, baba kama hujui kuingia jikoni umeliwa!!! ukirejea umechoka usipokuta kitu ukauliza mama nini kinaendelea jikoni nae anaita kwa sauti kutokea sebuleni, ..." ...we dada umefikia wapi chakula..unapika mawe???"

    Pengine chakula kikipikwa hovyo hovyo unajaribu kuonyesha kutofurahishwa, hasira za mama zitahamishiwa kwa "dada" atasimama kumfuata "dada" akimkalipia kwa nini kwa nini kapika chakula kibovu kwa makusudi..., (wengine wanaweza kumtandika hata makofi kudhihirisha mbele yako kuwa si yeye aliyeandaa kile chakula ).

    Ukimwambia mama amekosea, anakujia juu kuwa usimwingilie kwa kuwa yeye ndie aliyemtafuta huyo binti wa ndani...pengine ukizidisha utazuliwa kisa na anaweza kumfungashia vilago muda huo huo (hata kama ni usiku) na siku inayofuata utasikia amekuja "dada mwingine"...anadaiwa mshahara wa xTshs.

    Hali hii ya maisha ya kutegemea wasichana wa kazi imekuwa ni kama homa ya kuambukiza kwa familia nyingi...Imekuwa ni kama kina mama wamebinafsisha mno majukumu yaokwa wasichana wa kazi na wao kukosa kabisa uthibiti..
     
  2. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Hii imetokea wapi tena jamani!
    Hii topic imeshazunguzwa mno mpaka inakera machoni na masikioni mwa watu.
    Bottom-line kama wewe ni mwanaume mwambie wifey stop kuajiri mdada kama hausgeli.Kama wewe ni mdada basi acha kuajiri fanya kila kitu mwenyewe.Nadhani ujumbe huu umeshakuwa monotonous.Live your life the way you deem fit.
     
  3. G

    Geru Member

    #3
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Ukweli unauma!!! :confused2:
     
  4. Da Womanizer

    Da Womanizer JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Mbona umekuwa mkali sana au amekugusa nini???:A S 39:
     
  5. funzadume

    funzadume JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 12, 2010
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    mwenzio kajitahidi kutumia muda wake kuandika page nzima wewe unamkatisha tamaa lol huruma:becky::becky:
     
  6. Abdulhalim

    Abdulhalim JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Maisha yamebadilika, huwezi ukaleta mambo ya mwaka '47 leo hii, utaonekana kituko.
     
  7. D

    Dick JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Wengine (nahifadhi jina) wanamuachia 'dada' kutandika kitanda cha baba hata kama mama yupo, kufua kufuri za baba na mama, kupeleka maji ya kuoga bafuni nk. Kwa mwendo huu, lazima mama awe mke mwenza.
     
  8. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 12, 2010
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    mnalaumu mno wanawake, kwani nyie kina baba si msaidie wake zenu kazi za nyumbani kama hamtaki waajiri ma house girls. sick n tired of this.
     
  9. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Ngoshwe asante kwa kutukumbusha kwa mnaolalamikia kuwa haya ni marudio..........well wengine tulikuwa bado kujiunga so yhis is breaking news........!

    :focus:

    Ngoshwe umenigusa hali hiyo inanikumba mimi sasa hivi na niko katika kuichukulia hatua madhubuti isije leta madhara !

    Asante kwa kuongozwa na malaika wa Bwana!
     
  10. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Touchy?
     
  11. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 12, 2010
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    It appears that \ngoshwe has traded on dangerous grounds!
     
  12. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Siyo kila mtu ana hao mahausgeli jamani! ( mfumo au utaratibu wa maisha haufanani kwa watu wote tutambue hilo!)
    Binafsi hainigusi wala kunihusu...( i dont tame such ppl in my household)....ila nashangaa kwanini iwe topic kila kukicha... it suks!
     
  13. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #13
    Aug 12, 2010
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    I am with you. It sucks big time to read the same shiznit every single solitary day.

    Hamna jipya tena hapa.
     
  14. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Aug 12, 2010
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    CARMEL,
    wala usione ajabu kwa watu wa aina hii!
    Hawa wenye kuleta hii mijadala ndio waleeee wanaooa siyo kutafuta mwenzi wa maisha bali kuweka kijakazi cha kufanya multi tasking kuanzia kufua, kupika, kulala naye na kufanya kila aina ya kazi na ndio maana hawawezi kutofautisha msaidizi na mke! Akiona mwanamke anafanya kazi za nyumbani basi huona mara moja kuwa lazima achanganye kazi zote. Hausgeli akiingia chumbani kufanya usafi tu..ghafla humuona ni mkewe kaingia chumbani maana amezoea kwamba mke ni "punda"wa kufanya kila kitu! SHAME ON SUCH MEN!....
     
  15. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Thanks bro!...some guys "see a wife in every woman"!...they dont have a clue what love,romance, friendship...is all about! They think marriage is contemporary form of slavery!
     
  16. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Aug 13, 2010
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    WoS,

    Mtizamo kama huu unaitilafiana sana na hoja yako ya hapo awali (thread no. 2 & 12) ambayo nilidhani umeelewa. Niweke wazi kuwa sikuwa na nia ya kushambulia jinsia ya upande fulani (natambua na kuheshimu sana mahusiano ya ndoa kama mwanandoa). Kumbuka kama ikiwa kwako kuko njema, kwa wengine yawekana kusiwe hivyo na ndio maana hata neno la Mungu haliishi kuubiriwa kila siku japo vitabu vya maandiko unaweza kusoma kwa siku moja na kuelewa kila kitu.

    Msingi ya maisha ni pamoja na kukumbushana na pia kusaidiana hasa pale inapobidi (kumbuka unapodhania wewe umesimama, wengine wamekwisha anguka na pia, ukijidhania wewe unaishi, wapo wale ambao bado hawajazaliwa kabisa na wanahitaji nuru).

    Rejea hoja za msingi katika mada. Uliposema kuwa ni "monotonous" na bado unaendelea kuchangia majadala, ni wazi unadhihisha kuwa hii hoja ni suala ambalo linahitaji bado mjadala kama yalivyo mengine katika jukwaa hili la Mahusiano. Punguza jazba na kuhisi kama umeguswa binafsi (siwezi kusema labda wale wanaojibu hivi ndio wanaofanana na hao!!!).

    Haya uliyobainisha hapo juu, ukiyachunguza kwa kina ndio chanzo moja wapo cha mifarakano katika ndoa (kama umeolewa na unaifahamu vizuri misingi ya ndoa utajua vizuri haya mambo yalivyo chachu).
     
  17. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Aug 13, 2010
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    Ndugu yangu...
    utaona kuwa baada ya kujibu tu..kuna walionihisi kuwa " nimeguswa"... hii siyo sahihi maana kwa kweli kama kuna kitu hakijawahi kunipitia wala kunifanya nijihhisi ni hiki cha mahausgeli...... bahati mbaya siwezi kuweka bayana maisha yangu hapa. Chochote nilichoandika hakikulenga wewe bali kinawalenga hao wenye mitizamu finyu isiyodadavua maswala kwa mapana yake.

    Kwa kweli nawaonea huruma sana hao ambao hili tatizo linawakumba na waume zao kuchukulia kisingizio kuwa ni shauri ya kuwaachia majukumu wasichana hao. Labda niweke wazi kuwa kuna familia zina wasichana hawa na hawawafanyishi kazi kivile na bado wanaume hujichanganya nao kwa sababu za kila aina.Kuna famili ambazo wasichana wameachiwa kila kitu na hutaona wala kusikia waume wakitembea nao! Wale watafiti wa masuala ya kijamii watathibitisha hili.

    Udhalilishaji wa wasichana wasaidizi wa majumbani ni tatizo kubwa siyo Tanzania tu bali hata nje ya Tanzania hata Ulaya na Marekani AMBAKO KUNA " AU PAIRS", NANNIES/BABY SITTERS ETC. Kwa Marekani, kwa wale wenye kufuatilia matukio ya watumwa wa kike na mabwana zao wakizungu mtakumbuka kuwa moja ya matatizo yaliyokuwepo ni hili la ubakaji au kufanya mapenzi kwa makubaliano. (Ndio maana kuna Mulattos). Same kwa wahindi/waasia na hata waarabu. In other words wanaume wengine wanajishindwa kutawala tamaa zao za asili za mwili na wengine hutamani hata mabinti wa kuwazaa kwa sababu hizi.Kuna wenye hata kuwatamani dada zao au hata mama zao! Hivyo basi ninavyoona mijadala haiangalii tatizo kwa mapana yake na hili linanikera!
     
  18. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Aug 13, 2010
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    beki tatu akihamisha akichukua ukanda... wananza kulialia...!!!:glasses-nerdy:
     
  19. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Aug 13, 2010
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    WoS,

    Nimekupata sawia hapo juu (#17).

    Labda nisieleweke vibaya kusema haya (Baaddhi ya wanawake huwa hawapendani kabisa).
    Kama mtafuatilia kwa makini, mnaweza kuona visa vingi sana vya wanawake kulalamika kuwa wananyanyaswa humo majumbani na waume zao. Lakini kwa upande mwingine unakuwa akina mama pia wanaongoza dunia kwa kunyanyasa wanawawake wenzao.

    Moja ya kampeni ambayo inaendelea sasa duniani kote ni pamoja na biashara ya kusafirisha watu "Human trafficking". Tafisri ya hili neno kitalaum ni " illegal trade in human beings for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation or forced labor". Hii ni aina moja wapo ya utumwa wa kileo (modern slavery).

    Kuhusu hili kwa upande wa jamii zetu sasa imefikia wakati mtu anaanzisha biashara ya kufuatilia toka mikoani na kusambaza kwa kipato "wasichana wa ndani (House girls)". Zipo familia nyingi sana sasa ukifutilia kujua hawa wasichana wa ndani wamefikaje, utaambiwa "niliagiza kutoka kwa amama fulani au dada fulani ndie alie nibadilishia huyu kwa kuwa yule wa kwanza alianza usumbufu" . Achilia mbali pia wale ambao wanaowachukua hao mabinti na kuwatumikisha kwa habari nyingine kama biashara ya ngono kinamna!! Hawa wanaishi majumbani mwetu hata makwao hatukujui, na wala pengine wao wenyewe hawajui hata majina ya familia zetu zaidi ya yale ya watoto wetu au majina yetu kama !baba/ uncle/ aunt/ shemeji/ dada nk).., hana mkataba wa kazi, haajui hata anwani ya baba wala mama mwenye nyumba. Akidhulumiwa ndio basi tena kwake..

    Hawa mabinti wa watu maskini, wanapotoka huko majumbani pngine hata hawajui wanaenda kufanya kazi kwa nani na kwa maslahi gani. Hili halitaki kuzungumzwa pia, mabinti hawa wana nyanyasika sana humo majumbani mwetu. Mara nyingi kwa wanaume ni vizuri sana kufuatilia mambo ya wasichana wa ndani (hii inaitwa sekta ya mama). Msichana akiletwa anapangiwa mshahara kabla ya kujua wala kuona kazi atakazofanya..kigezo cha kusihi na msichana inakuwa ni kumfanya asiwe na hata nafasi ya kutoka pale anapofanyia kazi 24/7. Mshahara ambao anapangiwa na mama pengine ni finyu sana kulinganisha na thamani ya kazi anazofanya. Lakini hata hivyo, bado unakuwa huo mshahara hapewi kwa kisingizio kuwa "tunakuwekea". Na zipo familia haya yanafanywa na akina mama japo kuwa mzee utakuwa ukiombwa na kutoa mshahara wa binti kila mwezi lakini mhusika haumfikii na utaambiwa suala la kujua kama binti kapokea au hajapokea sio kazi yako!!!.

    Wapo baadhi ya wanawake hawataki kuisi na mabinti wandani "wenye kajimvuto kidogo ka sura au shepu", wapo ambao pia hawataki kuona hao mabinti wa ndani wanavaa au kujisafi vizuri kwa kisingizio kuwa "watapendeza". Ukijaribu kuchunguza hili unaweza kukuta hao wasichana wa ndani wengi muda wote wanakuwa kama hawana thamani ya utu zaidi ya kutumika kwa kipato kidogo na masaa mengi (forced labour). Huwa wanafamilia wakikaa pamoja, unaweza kumtofautisha "dada" na mmoja wa ndugu wa kike wa familia kwa kutizama tu.

    Wakati fulani inafikia hali mbaya sana kwa hawa mabinti, na ndipo hapo unaposikia familia zimefarakana kwa kuwa labda baba alijaribu kumtetea au kumsaidia binti kwa jinsi moja au nyingine akarukiwa na mama na kuelezwa kuwa eti ana mahusiano na binti wa ndani (hapo ugomvi utahamia pia kwa binti na pengine kufukuzwa na asilipwe chochote kwa muda wote aliofanya kazi.

    Chunguza kwa makini sana, chanzo cha haya matatizo yote ni akina mama wenyewe!!!.
     
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