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mke kuomba hela/service kwa wazazi wake hadi leo hii!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by RealTz77, Mar 26, 2010.

  1. RealTz77

    RealTz77 JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 26, 2010
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    wanajamii kuna jambo linanitatiza kikubwa katika familia yangu, wife anapenda sana kuomba hela toka kwa wazazi wake, au kufanyiwa service flani, but si kuwa amekosa kwangu la hasha, anadai amewazoea na alizoea hivyo, so anafeel good kufanya hivyo. tabu ni ndani ya nafsi yangu na perception ya upande wa wakwe je wataamini kweli anaomba tu for she feel like that?au tunataabika na kuanza kuniundermine kuwa namtesa binti yao, nimetaka kuchukua hatua ya kuwaeleza wazazi wasiwe wanampa hela anapowaomba, but nachelea.Pia anapenda kuelezea kwao each and everything kinachotokea kwetu, na haoni ni ubaya hata nimweleze vipi, zaidi naambulia kununiwa!hata wiki
    NB, wife is employed with just enough salary, simdai chochote ndani anafanyia tu issue zake, tuna miaka saba ya ndoa!!
    naomba japo mawazo how do i go about this situation my friends!
     
  2. Kimey

    Kimey JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Pole sana mkuu....will be back soon!!
     
  3. Kisoda2

    Kisoda2 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Mkuu pole sana.
    Cha kufanya mkalishe chini mpe facts akiendelea majibu yake ya kitoto piga stop kwa wazazi.
    Kwani wewe ndo mzazi wake mpaka hapo na wewe ndio kimbilio lake kwisha habari yake.
     
  4. JM Aristotle

    JM Aristotle Senior Member

    #4
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Duh! kwanza pole sana mheshimiwa.
    Cha kukushauri ni; kwanza, tambua kuwa wewe ni "kichwa" cha familia. Na, ni lazima mkeo alijue hilo pia; sio tu kwa maneno bali pia kwa vitendo.
    Mwambie kuwa hufurahishwi na tabia yake, na ikibidi; ongea pia na wazazi wake. Ni lazima watambue kuwa mmeshaoana, na mambo yenu, hayawahusu wao. Ni lazima wawapishe, muishi maisha yenu.
    Mwekee mke wako mipaka ya vitu anavyopasa kuvifanya na kutofanya kama mkeo.
    Lakini, mwisho wa siku; ni kazi kwako wewe kumuonesha kwamba wewe ni mume wake, na "Kichwaa" cha familia.
    "Sikio halizidi kichwa" bwanaaaaaa
     
  5. Kimey

    Kimey JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Hiyo kusema kuwa amezoea kuwaomba wazazi wake can't click in my mind. kwanza ni sababu ya kitoto kabsaa, pili mi nadhani mkeo ana lake jambo au anajihami na kitu flani, inaoonekana kwamba kumkalisha chini na kumwelezea haijasaidia so kilichobaki ni wewe kuongea tu wazazi na kuwaambia nn ambacho wewe hufurahii. Ingawa kuna aina ya wazizi wanaweza ichukulia very simple na kusema hakuna shida yoyote...then u need kufanya kama members walivyokuambia hapo be a Man...."kichwa cha familia"
     
  6. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Duh hapa nitajibu baada ya weekend
     
  7. Maria Roza

    Maria Roza JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Mhh katika familia yao amezaliwa pekee au ni mtoto wa mwisho???
    Pole sna siku nyingine we mpe kabla hajaomba!
     
  8. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Pole sana!

    Siwezi kusema hiyo ni sign ya immaturity; kwani miaka & mnastahili kuwa makungwi wangu! Lakini niseme kuwa umeilea hii tabia; ilitakiwa kutafutiwa majibu mapema na sasa ni kama unamnyanyasa; since in her percetion ameichukulia ni kawaida!

    ushasemakuwa umeongea naye na anakununia; well unaweza kuwashirikisha wazazi wa kiume upande wake lakini kuwa mwangalifu kwa kutumia hekima yako; je umeshachunguza ni nani ankuwa approached zaidi huko upande wa pili baba au Mama ama hata Kaka; Kama ni Mama ; Basi unaweza kuzungumza na Baba au Kaka au hata Shangazi kwa mfano tu.

    Na kwa kuwa hujui anapewa katika misingi gani ni vizuri kujua na kusitisha mpaka pale kwenye ulazima! kingine ambacho ni muhimu kwako na labda tufafanulie hapa; je wewe huwa unashirikishwa akishapata fedha na hiyo misaada like well Baba kanipa shs 5m hii ninunue Gari ama unakuta Gari lishanunuliwa lipo home ndo unauliza? Waweza kuta siyo hadithi ya kweli hiyo! T.C.
     
  9. Chimunguru

    Chimunguru JF-Expert Member

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    Mh! kuwa mwangalifu sana na huyo mwenza wako, tabia ya kuendelea kuomba vitu home kwa wazazi wake ni kukudharau wewe, na itafika siku hata umuhimu wako hapo kwako hautaonekana tena, ushauri mwache anune wewe zungumza na mwenye mbwa na si mfuga mbwa, ongea na mzazi wake ujue anapoomba huwa anasema nini, hamna pesa? humpi pesa? halafu hakikisha unaziba huo mwanya asiombe tena huko pesa.
     
  10. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

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    ungeliona hili mapema mlipooana tu, ingekuwa rahisi sana, ila sasa ni miaka 7 katika hali kama hii! ni ngumu kweli kumbadili aisee. simama kwa miguu yako mwenyewe my brother.
     
  11. B

    BeNoir Member

    #11
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Haya ni yale mambo ya msingi mliyopaswa kujadili miaka saba au zaidi nyuma. Lakini kama halikufanyika basi linapaswa kujadiliwa na kusimamishwa/kuzuiwa mara moja. Fedha ni mojawapo ya yale mambo yaletayo vurugu katika ndoa hivyo ni budi swala hilo liangaliwe kwa undani na umakini.
    Kwa wazazi walio makini ninamini wangependa kujua kulikoni kabla ya kutoa fedha, just like that. Sitaki kuwa na mafikira mabaya, ila napata hisia mbaya ya hizo fedha na zitokako. Wazazi wanaweza kuwa chambo tu.
    "Udongo upatilize ungali maji"
     
  12. RealTz77

    RealTz77 JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 26, 2010
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    wapo watano kwao yeye wa tau kuzaliwa
     
  13. RealTz77

    RealTz77 JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 26, 2010
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    asanteni wakuu naona itakuwa kuna vipengele sijakuwa sawa kama nimeshauriwa hapo je hizo hela zikija zinafanyiwa nini etc, pia huwa anamuaproach yeyote, mama, baba hachagui habagui, issue imekuwa tabu, pia nimeilea kwa kudhani namheshimu maamuzi yake kumbe daah najiharibia vibaya, naahidi ntakuja hapa na story ingine kwani nitasimama kiume sasa but in good way!thx all
     
  14. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

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    Asante kwa kulielewa hili!

    Chukua hatua kuinusuru ndoa yenu; mpe swali hili; Je Wazazi wake wakifa leo atakwenda wapi kutaka msaada?

    Ni kwa nia njema tu!
     
  15. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 26, 2010
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    .........Inawezekana wewe sio mtoaji wa pesa kwa mkeo, labda unasubiri hadi akuombe. Kuna baadhi ya wanawake huwa hatupendi kuomba pesa kwa waume zetu........hivyo anaona bora kuomba kwa wazazi wake na sio kwako, mtoto kwa mzazi hakui.

    Hivyo inabidi ujifunze kumpa pesa mkeo hata kama haombi, usipompa atakwenda tu kwa wazazi wake. Hata kama mkeo ni mfanyakazi lakini inabidi tu umpe pesa.
     
  16. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    Itakuwa ni mazoea, labda ni mtoto kipenzi kati ya hao watano!..Kama ana kazi nzuri yenye kipato safi usemavyo, sidhani kama wazazi wataku-under estimate hivyo unless wana lao jambo!..
    Vinginevyo,ongea na wife mweleza hupendezwi na hiyo tabia halafu uone mwenendo wake tena..Au siku nyingine unamwambia, unamwambia kama ana tatizo hela ya akiba ipo halafu uone akipata tatizo atakukumbushia au kwenda kwa wazazi kwa msaada!
     
  17. M

    Mtoto wa Kishua JF-Expert Member

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    Lady N [​IMG]
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    [​IMG] Re: mke kuomba hela/service kwa wazazi wake hadi leo hii!
    ungeliona hili mapema mlipooana tu, ingekuwa rahisi sana, ila sasa ni miaka 7 katika hali kama hii! ni ngumu kweli kumbadili aisee. simama kwa miguu yako mwenyewe my brother.
    __________________
    Amkyenyi kapanienyi Yesu.



    Angeliona wapi wakati mwenzako alikua ana wahi kuoa mtoto matawi? Haya ndio matatizo ya kuoa kwa malengo, unapo kua umechoka mlala hoi unawahi kukamata mtoto wa kishua, ukiamini kua mambo yata kua super. siku ukimuoa , maana baba mkwe ataawapa kila kitu hawezi kukubali mwanaye ateseke

    Siku inafika unatumia cheo cha mkweo na kuweka mambo yako freshi , unatengeneza hela kibao na kwavile wewe ni a male gold digger unakua una ubahili wakumpa mkeo mahitaji yake ( pale unapo pata utajiri kwa kutumia mgongo wa wazazi wa mke sababu wana influence sehemu kibao au hata mtaji wamekupa ) , sababu una vicheche vingi na pia hukumuoa mkeo kwa mapenzi , ulioa cheo au uwezo wa wazazi wake so inakua ngumu kumridhisha ,kwani umesha mtumia vya kutosha kujineemesha , mbaka mkeo ana amua kuanza kuomba hela au mahitaji kwao, maana kama hupendi ungeipinga hiyo tabia toka mwamzo.

    Acha binti ya watu asaidiwe kwao kwani ndio kwnye mapenzi na malezi mema, kwao wana upendo wewe na kwa hizo inecurities zako zisichangie kuondoa upendo uliopo kati ya mkeo na familia yao , Kama baba yake anampenda bintiye mwache kwani haibadilishi kitu , huyo demu ndio kalelewa hivyo na ndio misingi yao ya maisha bora na kusaidiana , uiingilie kutaka kubadili maisha yao au labda usinge muoa.
     
  18. Fisherscom

    Fisherscom JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 26, 2010
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    Pole sana kiongozi,ndo ukubwa huo. Tushukuru nyumba tunazoishi zinakuta imara kutoonyesha yatendekayo ndani ya nyumba. Kama hataki kukusikiliza piga stop kwenda nyumbani kwao na waeleze wazazi wake situation iliyopelekea wewe kufikia uamuzi huo.
     
  19. M

    MWAMOSHI Member

    #19
    Mar 29, 2010
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    Lazima uwe mkali ulishamwoa kwa wazazi anaomba omba kwa nini baadae itakuletea dherau sana.Nimewahi kuiona kwenye familia moja zumza na wakwe zako ili aache hiyo tabia iko siku watasema unashindwa kumhudumia.
     
  20. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 29, 2010
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    Kwenye red kunaashiria kwamba wazazi hawana hiyo perception na wanachukulia kawaida tu, kwa kuwa wanajua binti yao ana kipato binafsi mbali na cha mumewe. Na kama kwa miaka 7 ndani ya ndoa amekuwa akaifanya hivyo sioni tatizo. Uwe na amani.

    Ila hapo kwenye blue ndipo nahisi kuna tatizo. Yaelekea ni kama huyo binti hata baada ya kuolewa, hakutaka ''kuacha baba na mama yake, aungane na mumewe, nanyi muwe mwili mmoja''. Ni tatizo la kisaikolojia zaidi. Litafutie ufumbuzi.
     
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