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MKE: Hivi nini hasa sababu ya kuwa na mke?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by WomanOfSubstance, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 30, 2010
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    Kwa akina kaka/baba waliooa au wanaotarajia kuoa.
    Mmeoa au mnataka kuwa na mke ili iweje?
    Naona baadhi ya wanaume wakidai huduma mbalimbali kuanzia kupikiwa, kufuliwa, kuoshewa vyombo, kutunziwa na kulindiwa nyumba, kuburudishwa nakadhalika. Hapo sijaongezea kuzaliwa watoto na matunzo yake, kutunza wazazi wazee au wasiojiweza, kuhudumia miradi na mifugo.

    Nadhani siyo vibaya kuwa na uelewa wa pamoja katika hili.Huenda itasaidia katika management of expectations na pia kurekebisha pale ambapo hapako sawa kwa wote.
    Hivi kweli mke ni kwa ajili hii? Hebu tupate mawazo kutoka kwenu. Akina dada/mama mnaweza kuchagiza.
     
  2. KakaKiiza

    KakaKiiza JF-Expert Member

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    Kwanza ujiulize ukiolewa uenda kwa mwanamume kufanya nini??do you think is only for sex need??Nadha ni kwa yote ivyo nimakubaliano kwenye nyumba kati ya wawili au unamwekea mtu wakumsaidia!!
     
  3. Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Oxlade-Chamberlain JF-Expert Member

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    Mke ni kwa ajili ya kuanzisha familia.Sababu ya kuwa na mke ndio hio kuanzisha familia kwa pamoja ,hapo ndio watakuja watoto na wote kwa pamoja mtaendeleza majukumu ya ndoa.

    kuhusu kumuachia mke shughuli zote hio ni tabia ya zamani wakati sisi tulikuwa kazi yetu ni kwenda kuangaika hili kuwezesha familia kupa mlo na mahitaji mengine huku mama akiachwa nyumbani kulea watoto na kufanya shughuli za ndani.

    miaka imekwenda sasa na hio tabia imepungua na kama inaendelea basi ni wachache sana.kilicho punguza sasa ni kwamba wakina mama wengi sana wamejiendeleza kielimu na wao wanafanya kazi kwahio mda unakuwa mchache wa kuweza kuyafanya yote uliyo taja hapo juu na badala yake ndio kuna wafanyakazi wa ndani siku hizi ambao wana beba majukumu ya usafi na kuangalia watoto.

    Kwa familia zingine ambazo hazina wafanyakazi huwa wanasaidiana ,sema kuna wengine wanaotaka kuendeleza u-mwinyi ndio wamegoma kubadirika au kwenda na wakati.Na ndoa nyingi siku hizi uvunjika kutokana na wanawake kuona kwamba majukumu ya ndani kuwazidia wao peke yao na ndio mikwaruzo inapoanza hapo.


    Kuna uduma kama ya kupikiwa hio naipenda sana itoke moja kwa moja kwa mke wangu na sio lazima kupika kila siku,unaweza kupika chakula cha kutosha siku mbili au siku nyingine tunaweza kula nje kwani kama mke anafanya kazi basi nae anachoka pia.

    Kama mke hafanyi kazi ni mama wa nyumbani hakuna ubaya kufanya uduma hizi huku akisaidwa na mfanyakazi wa ndani kama familia kubwa sana.Mke ambaye hafanyi kazi hizi huduma za ndani zinamsaidia kujiepusha na mengi sana.
     
  4. Pakawa

    Pakawa JF-Expert Member

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    Sababu za kuwa na mke ndio sababu za kuwa na mume... what ever the sababus are ni sawa pande zote mbili.
     
  5. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Nafikiri wanawake wanasababu sawa na wanaume za kuoa au kuolewa. Kama na wao wasingekuwa na sababu za kuolewa sidhani kama wangelikubali kutekeleza commitment hiyo. Ila ndoa nyingi wanaume wanaziendesha kwa ubabe ubabe na kuingiza mambo ambayo wanawake wanaona kama wanaolewa ili wafanye mambo hayo ambayo WOS ameyaandika. Kama angeliolewa na mimi mbona hayo ni hadithi tu....Lol
     
  6. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #6
    Jul 30, 2010
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    Labda swali sahihi linatakiwa liwe "kwanini kuwa na mwenza katika maisha"? Naamini kuna sababu kadhaa.

    a. Kuwa na mtu wa kushiriki naye safari ya maisha a.k.a mwenza

    Nyingine zote zinakuja baada ya hiyo.
     
  7. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #7
    Jul 30, 2010
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    Mimi dhumuni langu la kuoa litakuwa ni kupata mwenza/ mwandani wangu ambaye tutashirikiana naye katika kusafiri safari ya maisha na kujenga familia

    Mimi hayo siafikiani nayo. Mtu ninayempenda siwezi kumdai yote hayo. Nitamdai penzi tu basi. Ndoa ni kushirikiana. Sioni ubaya wowote wa mimi kuingia jikoni na kukorofisha na siku zingine yeye anaingia na kukorofisha. Nafanya hivyo sasa nikiwa bado mseja na endapo ikatokea nikaja kuoa sitabadilika. Nitaendelea kupika, kufua, na kufanya usafi. Na hapa kwenye usafi ndio kabisaaa simwamini mtu. Mimi niko msafi kupitiliza na huwaga simwamini mtu mwingine anifanyie usafi.

    Kwenye watoto mwanamke hanizalii. Tunazaa wote ingawa yeye ndio atabeba mimba. Lakini kama mimi ndio baba mtarajiwa basi nitakuwepo kila hatua ya huo ujauzito. Muda ukiruhusu tutaenda wote kwenye madarasa ya Lamaze na mambo mengine yahusuyo ujauzito wake nitashiriki. Sio sawa kumwacha mwenzio ahangaike peke yake kama vile alijipa mimba mwenyewe.

    Matarajio yangu ni penzi la kweli tu. Nikilipata hilo basi mengine yatajipa. Shida inakuwa utajuaje kama mwenzako anakupa penzi la kweli? Huo ndio mtihani haswa.
    Mke sio kwa ajili ya hayo uliyoyaainisha hapo juu (kwa maono yangu). Mke ni kwa ajili ya kuishi pamoja na kufurahia maisha. Siwezi kufurahia maisha kama mke wangu hana furaha.
     
  8. katelero

    katelero JF-Expert Member

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    Dhumuni kubwa litakalo nifanya niolewe ni kupata mwenzi tutakaesaidiana maishani, upendo ukiwa ndo nguzo yetu hayo yote ulotaja hapo juu tutashirikiana,
     
  9. Chapakazi

    Chapakazi JF-Expert Member

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    interesting!! Why do we marry? I had a similar discussion this week with my flatmate! Nadhani ndoa inawa-favour wanawake zaidi ya wanaume.
    Sababu yangu:
    1. Mwanamke ana a limited time ya kupata mtoto - biological clock. Na pia % ya wanawake wanataka kuwa na watoto. Hii nimeshuhudia kutokana na depression mwanamke tasa anayoweza kupata.
    Na kabla ya kuwa na mtoto lazima apate a secured environment ya kukuza mtoto wake. Na hakuna secure environment zaidi ya ndoa:A place of committment and protection.
    2. Wanawake hawako attracted by physical appearance of a man, as man are of women. I mean, mwanamke akivua nguo na kuja chumbani kwako uchi, ni vigumu kwa mwanaume kusema hapana, compare to mwanaume avue nguo na kwenda chumbani kwa mwanamke uchi!...crazy but true!
    3. Men can cater for multiple partners without love, while wanawake hawawezi kutembea na mtu just bila kuwa na feeling yeyote!

    Which leads me to ask...Why wld a man want to marry?
    For companionship, nothing more or less! So the man gets companionship and the woman gets children, secure environment, protection, etc.
     
  10. ChaMtuMavi

    ChaMtuMavi JF-Expert Member

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    Kukicha vizuri unamwaga point wewe. Nakupa kumi.
     
  11. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Asante. Lakini ina maana kukicha vibaya huwaga natapika pumba?
     
  12. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    its very tough be alone......
     
  13. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mke......a best friend...
    a soulmate....
    someone who is a bit special in ur life...
    someone you run to for advice or for comfort...
    someone to trust
     
  14. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

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    Huu ni mwelekeo wa mawazo ya 50/50. Dada ukiona hakuna faida ya kuolewa utulie na mbadala wako. Nadhani kwa umri na experience yako unayafaham unayotaka kufahamu.
     
  15. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

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    Sababu kubwa ni usalama wa maisha: wa kutunzana na kwa upendo. Usalama huu huwezi kuupata bila commitment kati ya wawili (ndoa). Vinginevo ni kudanganyana tu. Watoto ni matokeo ya pendo hili la wawili.
     
  16. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Kumbe kupata mwenza au companion ni sababu moja kubwa sana ya kuoana! Hayo ya kufanyiwa kila kitu na mke huenda yalikuwa ya kale zaidi kama walivyosema wachangiaji kadhaa.
    Pia ni kweli kuhusu kujihakikishia usalama.......watoto ni majaaliwa maana hata mkiwa na watoto kuna siku wataondoka na mtabakia wawili tena kama mmebarikiwa kuwa na maisha marefu.

    Ndugu yangu Kingi... sijaweka mada hii kwa vile sijaona faida ya kuolewa la hasha! Nimeweka hapa tubadilishane mawazo.Kizuri siku zote kula na nduguzo.
     
  17. chloe.obrain

    chloe.obrain JF-Expert Member

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    some one you love the most, if you do these practically your wife is luck n she will respect n love u 4ever
     
  18. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Huwa wanashindwa kukuelewa tu Komredi ndo wanajua ni pumba...
     
  19. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

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    Kama walivyosema wengine sababu kuu ya kuoea/kuolewa ni kuwa na mwenza wa kudumu, kupendana na kutunzana. Hizi huduma ulizozitaja (kwenye red) kwa kweli ni expressions tu za huko kupendana na kutunzana kati ya wawili wa ndoa. Na hizi expressions zinategemea sana utamaduni wa watu na wakati, ndiyo maana huduma hizo zinatofautiana kutoka jamii moja na jamii nyingine. Lakini pia zinabadilika kutokana na kupita kwa wakati, elimu ya wahusika, nk. Kwa maneno mengine hizi expressions za companionship and love ni vitu very dynamic. Ndiyo maana leo hii kutokana na wakati na elimu mengi ya zamani yamebadilishwa au kuboreshwa katika jamii zetu kuhusiana na mahusiano ya mume na mke kwani mengi ya hayo yalikuwa yanamtumikisha mwanamke na kumpa upendeleo mwanaume.
     
  20. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

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    Wapo wengi wanaingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu kila mtu anaingia kwenye ndoa...wazazi na jamaaa zako wanataka uoe/uolewe usipokua kwenye ndoa unaweza kuchekwa..... (na matatizo mengi yanaanzia kwenye ndoa za namna hii)
     
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