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Mke hataki ndugu wa mume:Msaada please.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by ChiefmTz, Feb 7, 2011.

  1. C

    ChiefmTz JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Kuna jamaa yangu kaniomba ushauri juu ya tatizo linalomkabili. Yeye kaoa mke. Baada ya kufiwa na mdogo wake wa kike, ndugu waligawana watoto wa marehemu na yeye(jamaa) akapewa mtoto m1 ili amtunze na hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa hakuwa na baba. Matatizo ya mke ndo yakaanza. Mara simtaki huyo mtoto kwa kuwa hukunishirikisha. Mara mtoto huyo ameshndikana huko alikotoka kwa kuwa ni mtundu. Mke ameendelea kusistiza kuwa hamtaki huyo mtoto licha ya kupita miaka 3 sasa. Kutokana na presha ya mke wake, jamaa aliamua kutafuta shule ya boarding ya watoto yatima lakini bila ya mafanikio. Pia aliwahi kumchukua ndugu yake mmoja ili amsaidie kwenye biashara zake lakini kelele za kumkataa zikasikika na hatimaye yule kijana akaondoka. Jamaa wiki iliyopita aliombwa na ndugu wa mke ampokee kijana wake akae kwake ili ajiandae kure-sit mtihani wa fm4 mwaka huu. Jamaa hakuwa na hiana akamkubalia bila ya kumshikisha mke wake huku akihofia kelele za mke wake kwa kutomshirikisha. Kijana kafika na hakuna kelele.
     
  2. C

    ChiefmTz JF-Expert Member

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    Ila kelele ndo zimezidi za kumkataa yule mtoto yatima. Jamaa anauliza afanyeje? Je naye amtimue ndugu wa mke? Msaada wenu wanajf
     
  3. C

    ChiefmTz JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Du jamani hakuna wa kunipa point za kumshauri huyu jamaa yangu? Au watu wako bize na Dowans. Jamani naombeni maoni yenu.
     
  4. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Ngoja nikupe ushauri, mimi kama dada wa kichaga.
    Kwa kuwa upependa kutaja kabila la mke bila kutaja kabila la mume unadhani huo ukabila wa mke ni muhimu katika ushauri unaotegemea?

    Basi ni hivi,
    1. Mwambie amuache huyo mwanamke atafute wa kabila lake au lako wewe.
    2. Awape funzo ndugu zake wote wasijeoa wachaga kwani watawakataa ndugu zao na hao wanawake wataleta ndugu zao nyumbani.

    Iwe onyo na fundisho kwao.
     
  5. kilimasera

    kilimasera JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Una hasira tuliza munkari sister sio wachagga wote wenye tabia hizo mie nadhani kuepuka kuvuruga ndoa jamaa kama kweli alimpenda na anampenda mke wake awe anajaribu kumshirikisha kwa kila jambo sio kujichukulia maamuzi matatizo kama hayo yanatokea kwa familia nyingi sana kuhusu kabila ni tatizo mimi ni mhehe ila nakataa kabisa kwamba sio wachaga wote wenye tabia hizo kwasababu nina mifano mingi tu kwamba kuna ndugu zangu wameoa wachaga na mbona wake zao wanapokea wageni kila siku na wanaishi nao vizuri na kuna ndugu zangu pia wameolewa na wachaga lakini naona life inakwenda fresh tu tatizo hapo hata mume anachangia kwasababu hamshirikishi mkewe kwa kila jambo na anachukulia kama kila kitu ni rahisi tu sasa wewe mshauri jamaa kama anaweza huyo mtoto ampeleke tu shule za boarding na baadae akae na mke wake waongee juu ya hilo pia hata hawa watoto wa kufikia kuna wengine unakuta ni kweli watukutu na wakorofi sana unamkatalia hili anafanya lile ukimkataza hili anafanya hili mke lazima achukie kama kila siku TV na redio vinaunguzwa au mtoto tuchukulie anakunywa pombe na nyumba hairuhusiwi kunywa pombe kwa hiyo always nyumba hujengwa na wananyumba ndio maana huwa wanasema unapotaka kuoa jitahidi uwe makini sana katika kuchunguza kwanza unaweza kuchunguza hata miaka 3 au 4 na sio kujichukulia tu mke au mume matatizo kama haya huwa yanaweza kabisa kuepukika mapema!!!
     
  6. Nanren

    Nanren JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Dada Haika, that is too harsh!
    Sidhani kama mleta hoja anahusisha matatizo ya yule mke na kabila. Mimi binafsi nimeona matatizo kama hayo kwa watu wa makabila mbali mbali. Kwa ujumla, wanawake wengi huwa hawawapendi sana ndugu wa kiume, wapo baadhi ya wanawake hutumia busara tu ili kuonyesha uvumilivu kuwa wanawajali ndugu wote. Hii haijalishi kabila.

    Mimi nakushauri mtoa hoja, Mume ajaribu kushirikisha ndugu wa mke wake, hasa wazazi, ili kuweza kubadili mtazamo wa huyo mke. Hata viongozi wa dini mara nyingine husaidia.
     
  7. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    wakae chn wazungumze
    awe anamshirikisha kwenye mipango yote
    awaite wazee waongee na mke wake ju ya kuwakubali watoto /ndg zako
     
  8. K

    Kituko JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Jamani msimlaumu Dada haika,
    jamaa anayetaka ushauri amekosea kutaja kabila la huyo mwanamke, ina maana alikuwa anataka ushauri ambao utashirikisha kabila, Kwamba Uchagga wa huyo my wife wake ndio tatizo
    pili inaonekana huyo ndugu yake anapewa lawama nyingi sana kwa kuoa mchaga, yaani matatizo yote yanasababishwa na Uchagga
    ilikuwa haina sababu kabisa ya Kutaja kabila la huyo mama, Mi si Mchagga lakini inaboa kudiscuss Tabia ama Uamuzi wa mtu kwa kigezo cha kabial lake
     
  9. Nanren

    Nanren JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    OK, Thanks. Msg delivered:
    Nafikiri tunapo-post tuwe makini ili kutoumiza feelings za watu. Mtoa hoja nafikiri ange-edit kidogo ili isiwe kama ilivyo.
     
  10. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    Baada ya msg kuwa delivered,
    ushauri wangu wa ukweli ni kuwa:
    1. mnapoingia kwenye ndoa muwe makini na kuangalia streghts za personalities zenu, na muwe tayari kuishi nazo. Mie sipendi kuona mtu anaishi na mkewe au mumewe huku anaogopa kuleta baadhi ya hoja mezani. Hio si ndoa ni ndoano, na lazima mmoja huyo atakuwa mnyonge na atatia huruma sana hata kwa ndugu na jamaa zake. ajitahidi kumatch up na arguments (hoja) za mkewe, aje na hoja mezani.
    Ndoa za kiafrika wote tunaelewa ni za kiukoo zaidi kuliko mtu mmoja mmoja.
    2. Kwa huyo jamaa yako bila kuwa wazi baba na mama, lazima kuna mambo mengi sana yametokea hapo nyuma, sie wanawake mara nyingi huwa tunaunganisha matukio mengi madogo madogo na kuyatafakari kwa ujumla wake, kuna habari hatuwezi kuijua hapa.
    2. Ajiweke kwa ajili ya mke wake, bila kujidharaulisha, na abainishe wazi majukumu ya kulea ndugu,
    KWA KIFUPI ATAMBUE MAANA YA KUITWA BABA, si sifa wa la cheo ni MAJUKUMU. Awe tayari kwanza kuwa BABA WA NYUMBA YAKE ndio ataweza kuwa msaada wa watu wengine.

    hili ni tatizo kubwa sana kuliko tunavyodhania.
    Personalities za wanaume kwa miaka ya karibuni mimi huwa naona kama wanaanza kukubali kuwaachia wanawake kuprovide security ya familia, hii itatucost, wote wanawake na wanaume.
    Kuna mwalimu wangu alikuwa anasisitiza sana wanafunzi wa kiume wasome sana, wasikubali kupitwa na wasichana, alikuwa naogopa sana kuwa watakuja kudharauliwa baadae, mie kil amara huwa nakumbuka na kuzidi kuona ukweli wa maneno yake mengi kama haya:
    - we mtoto wa kuime usikubali kudharauliwa,
    - usiache familia yako isikutegemee, hakikisha unawatunza
    - mwanaume anatakiwa awe radhi hata kukesha ili kulinda familia yake
    - mtoto wa kiume halii mbele ya mtoto wa kike
    - mwanaume anatakiwe awe jasiri wakati wote
    - jibebeshe jukumu la kutunza familia yako kwa heshima
    - usikubali mwanamke akulishe atakudharau au utajidharau
    - mwanaume huwezi kusamehewa kwa kukosa uelekeo na msimamo wa maisha yako
    nk nk
     
  11. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

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    ndugu mtoa mada,ungeweza kuomba ushauri bila kutaja kabila coz it has nothing to do with the situation,,,back to the point huyo mume amewahi kukaa na kuongea na mkewe khs hiyo tabia?
     
  12. makandokando

    makandokando JF-Expert Member

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    na nyie mmezidi kuoa mijanamke yenye tabia za ajabu ajabu......wanawake wote hawa duniani hapa we unaenda kuoa watu walio na akili za ajabu ajabu.
     
  13. makandokando

    makandokando JF-Expert Member

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    solution hapo ni either aendelee kumsikiliza mke wake, kwa sababu ndio aliyemchagua.....vinginenvyo ampe talaka arudi kwao
     
  14. M

    MONTESQUIEU JF-Expert Member

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    Ajaribu kushauliana na mke kwa kila jambo kabla hajaamua .
    Kwani hapa inaonyesha kuwa mwanamke hajashirikishwa katika uletaji wa hawa ndugu

    Hawa wanaume huwa wanakuwa na dharau, wanaona wao ndio wanahaki zaidi wakati wapo na wake zao.
    Ustaarabu ndio unaomcost, huyu dada hana kosa anaona amedharauliwa kama mke ndani ya nyumaba
     
  15. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    Duh Haika lah!

    Tribaphobia! - right?
     
  16. Crashwise

    Crashwise JF-Expert Member

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    Aachane nae na atafute atakae weza kufata matakwa yake mme.....
     
  17. Crashwise

    Crashwise JF-Expert Member

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    Soma alicho kiandika mleta mada sijui kama ulikiona
    Bado mimi naendelea amtimue tu
     
  18. M

    MONTESQUIEU JF-Expert Member

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    Nimekiona sana kunasentensi ina sema simtaki huyo mtoto kwa kuwa hukunishirikisha sasa kama yeye anajifanya kidume hajadili kwanza na mklewe analeta tu watu anategemea nini?
     
  19. Crashwise

    Crashwise JF-Expert Member

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    Mbona mnakuza mambo, Issue ni mke hataki ndugu za mme na limejionyesha wazi wazi baada ya ndugu yake kuja na hakuongea chochote..
     
  20. Crashwise

    Crashwise JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    Kwa ndugu yake mbona hakujadili na bado hakuongea chochote....kifupi jamaa anatakiwa asimamie maamzi yake kama kicho cha familia na akileta msimamo wake wa kuto wataka ndugu za mme amtimue....
     
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