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Men -v- Women - beat that!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Icadon, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. Icadon

    Icadon JF-Expert Member

    Aug 26, 2008
    Joined: Mar 21, 2007
    Messages: 3,588
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    "Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


    I know I'm not going to understand women.
    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
    He addressed the man,
    "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Homepride, isn't it?

    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
    He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
    She directs him down the correct aisle.
    A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
    balls and a ball of string on the counter.
    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
    He answers, " You see, it's like this,

    yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
    papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
    So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

    W O R D S
    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
    so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
    " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
    and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
    you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
    and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

    The Silent Treatment
    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
    see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

    God may have created man before woman,
    but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
  2. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

    Aug 26, 2008
    Joined: Jun 27, 2007
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    Funny.....angalau basi angemtingisha tu kumwamsha bila hata ya kusema neno. Kuna njia nyingi tu za kumwamsha mtu bila hata ya kumsemesha - kuwasha taa au hata redio/tv... LOL
  3. Mshiiri

    Mshiiri JF-Expert Member

    Sep 7, 2008
    Joined: Jun 16, 2008
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    Hapa inaonesha wanawake ni kiboko atiii!
  4. M

    Mama JF-Expert Member

    Sep 7, 2008
    Joined: Mar 24, 2008
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    ulikuwa hujui? wanawake si mchezo atiiii.