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men and shopping

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Isaac, Dec 6, 2010.

  1. Isaac

    Isaac JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 6, 2010
    Joined: Jan 4, 2009
    Messages: 531
    Likes Received: 12
    Trophy Points: 35
    Why Women Shouldn't
    Take Men Shopping.

    After I retired, my wife
    insisted that I accompany
    her on her trips to Target.
    Unfortunately, like most
    men, I found shopping
    boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
    unfortunate, my wife is
    like most women - she
    loves to browse.
    Yesterday my dear wife
    received the following letter from the local
    Target.

    Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months,
    your husband has caused
    quite a commotion in our
    store. We cannot tolerate
    this behavior and have
    been forced to ban both of you from the store.
    Our
    complaints against your
    husband, Mr. Samuel, are
    listed below and are
    documented by our video
    surveillance cameras.

    1.June 15: Took 24 boxes
    of condoms and randomly
    put them in other people's
    carts when they weren't
    looking.

    2.July 2: Set all the alarm
    clocks in Housewares to
    go off at 5-minute
    intervals.

    3.July 7: He made a trail of
    tomato juice on the floor
    leading to the women's
    restroom.

    4.July 19: Walked up to an
    employee and told her in
    an official voice, 'Code 3 in
    Housewares. Get on it
    right away'. This caused
    the employee to leave her assigned station and
    receive a reprimand from
    her Supervisor that in
    turn resulted with a union
    grievance, causing
    management to lose time and costing the company
    money.

    5.August 4: Went to the
    Service Desk and tried to
    put a bag of M&Ms on
    layaway.

    6.August 14: Moved a
    'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
    sign to a carpeted area.

    7.August 15: Set up a tent
    in the camping
    department and told the
    children shoppers he'd
    invite them in if they
    would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
    department to which
    twenty children obliged.

    8.August 23: When a clerk
    asked if they could help
    him he began crying and
    screamed, 'Why can't you
    people just leave me
    alone?' EMTs were called.
    9.September 4: Looked
    right into the security
    camera and used it as a
    mirror while he picked his
    nose.

    10.September 10: While
    handling guns in the
    hunting department, he
    asked the clerk where the
    antidepressants were.

    11.October 3: Darted
    around the store
    suspiciously while loudly
    humming the 'Mission
    Impossible' theme.

    12.October 6: In the auto
    department, he practiced
    his 'Madonna look' by
    using different sizes of
    funnels.

    13.October 18: Hid in a
    clothing rack and when
    people browsed through,
    yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14.October 21: When an
    announcement came over
    the loud speaker, he
    assumed a fetal position
    and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S
    THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but certainly not
    least:

    15.October 23: Went into a
    fitting room, shut the
    door, waited awhile, then
    yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
    There's no toilet paper in
    here.' One of the clerks passed out.
     
  2. M

    Mmwaminifu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 6, 2010
    Joined: Oct 15, 2010
    Messages: 1,055
    Likes Received: 43
    Trophy Points: 145
    Huyu ni wa kuhamishia mirembe
     
  3. hashycool

    hashycool JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 6, 2010
    Joined: Oct 2, 2010
    Messages: 5,704
    Likes Received: 81
    Trophy Points: 145
    he made himself useful!
     
  4. Good Guy

    Good Guy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 7, 2010
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 4,451
    Likes Received: 26
    Trophy Points: 145
    Alitakiwa apewe BAN na fimbo kibao
     
  5. B

    Basically Member

    #5
    Dec 7, 2010
    Joined: May 9, 2009
    Messages: 29
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 3
    Hahahahahahahah.haha!! ..jamaa noma huyo
     
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