Mdahalo: Kids Vs Spouses

Nadhani ni nature kama kuku na vifaranga vile.

Bond ya kubeba kiumbe miezi tisa na kunyonyesha mwaka miaka; ina mconnect mama na mtoto kwa njia ya hajabu. Kids are miraculous gift to every mother.

And sometimes I feel like I love my husband more and more when I feel like he loves our kids because they are everything to me.

Na kama kuku na vifaranga wake nitamchukia yeyote atakayechukia watoto wangu.

Kwa hiyo naweza kusema ukitaka mwanamke akupende basi penda watoto wake. Kama in any way iwe ni kweli au a mistake mkeo akahisi umeanza kuchukia watoto jua mapenzi yake kwako yatakoma. A bridge to woman's heart is her kids, whereas a bridge to a man's heart is the wife (or any lover) maana si wote wana mapenzi na wake zao.
Ni ukweli unaouma sana! Sina cha kuongeza nyumba kubwa. Khaa!

Najaribu ku-imagine jinsi navyompenda Mama Matesha wangu kumbe yeye akili yake yooote iko kwa Matesha kwanza then ndo anifikirie mie....... Naanza kupata sababu nyingine kwanini wanaume karibu wote walio kwenye ndoa huwa wanacheat!! You dont love us the way we love you, and what do you expect?
 
hv wanaume wanagawaje malove yao
wife?%
nyumba ndogo%?
Makid%? Hapo tena anagawa maana watoto wa kike hawawezi kupendwa sawa na wakiume
.

Bebii kiboko,siku ukiondoka jf/mmu namii naondoka,maana nitaishije mmu bila wewe?
 
Mpaka hapa nilipofikia nimejifunza somo moja gumu na linaloumiza sana.

kwamba wanaume na wanawake ni vitu viwili tofauti kabisa katika maisha ya mapenzi na upendo.

Nilichokuwa nakijua na ambacho naamini mpaka sasa kinaendelea

Mke anampenda mmewe saaaaana, pale wanapokuwa hawajapata watoto/mtoto
Mme anampenda mkewe sana pale wanapokuwa hawajapata watoto/mtoto

Nilichojifunza leo kwa mstuko

Mme anampenda mke hata kama ameshapata mtoto/watoto
Mke anampenda sana mtoto/watoto akishapata mtoto/watoto. Mme anakuwa namba mbili.

Swali kwa wanawake:
Ni kitu gani hasa kinawafanya mhamishie mapenzi yenu kwa watoto na kuwaweke waume zenu namba 2? Hapa tu-assume hakuna ubaya wowote uliotendewa na mmeo.

Inauma sana aisee!

:ballchain:.... Puliza....
 
Mpaka hapa nilipofikia nimejifunza somo moja gumu na linaloumiza sana.

kwamba wanaume na wanawake ni vitu viwili tofauti kabisa katika maisha ya mapenzi na upendo.

Nilichokuwa nakijua na ambacho naamini mpaka sasa kinaendelea

Mke anampenda mmewe saaaaana, pale wanapokuwa hawajapata watoto/mtoto
Mme anampenda mkewe sana pale wanapokuwa hawajapata watoto/mtoto

Nilichojifunza leo kwa mstuko

Mme anampenda mke hata kama ameshapata mtoto/watoto
Mke anampenda sana mtoto/watoto akishapata mtoto/watoto. Mme anakuwa namba mbili.

Swali kwa wanawake:
Ni kitu gani hasa kinawafanya mhamishie mapenzi yenu kwa watoto na kuwaweke waume zenu namba 2? Hapa tu-assume hakuna ubaya wowote uliotendewa na mmeo.

Inauma sana aisee!

Babu unakosea sana kusema kwamba mapenzi ndio yanayohamishwa!!
Mapenzi hayahamishwi wala hayahamishiki toka kwa mtoto kwenza kwa mwenzi. Kinachotokea ni kwamba resposibility na priority ndizo zinazobadilika...zikifuatwa na umuhimu pamoja na thamani. Na yote hiyo inatokana na kwamba mama na mtoto wanakua na bond ambayo haipatikani popote pale zaidi ya pande hizo mbili.

Ni sawa na pale unapokua una gari na nyumba.Unavipenda vyote/unavihitaji vyote na unashungulika kuvifanya vyote viwe katika hali nzuri kutokana na mahitaji yako. Ila itakapotokea kitu ambacho kitakulazimu uchague kimoja kwasababu huwezi kubaki navyo vyote ndipo utakapochaga kile unachokithamini na chenye umuhimu zaidi kwako na sio unachokipenda zaidi. Maana inawezekana kabisa ukawa unalipenda gari zaidi ila ukachagua nyumba.....kwahiyo uchaguzi huu hautokani na mapendo bali umuhimu/uhitaji na thamani.
Alafu nnaposema thamani namaanisha unavyokihamini wewe na sio bei yake ...

Mzee mwenzangu DC Retired Gen 1947 hapo juu,

Nakupigia saluti!

Hata kama wameamua kuhamishia mapenzi yetu kwa watoto wetu, sie tuendelee kuwapenda, kuwajali na kuwaheshimu. Ndio wajibu wetu kama wanaume.

Ila wakinamama hawa wangepata nafasi ya kukutana na mama yangu mdogo ambaye ni mjane labda wangeweza kunisaidia kuwelewa hii kauli yake ambayo huwa anaisema kila siku anapomkumbuka marehemu mmewe. Namnukuu
"Ni heri ningewakosa hawa watoto kuliko ninavyomkosa Willy (mmewe), Ningejua angekufa mapema namna hii nisingekubali kuolewa naye. Ukiwa na mme umpendaye sana, usiombe kuwa mjane". Mwisho wa kunukuu, na ikumbukwe si kwamba ana shida ya fedha, basi tu upweke.......

Kuhusu huyo mama mdogo I can almost guaratee you kwamba kama mumewe angekua hai na alipoteza mtoto kipindi hicho sasa hivi ungeweza ukawa unamsikia akisema kwamba '' Ni kheri ningemkosa mume kuliko nilivyompoteza mtoto wangu.Ningejua angekufa mapema wala nisingezaa''. badala ya ulivyomquote.
 
We expect you to play a good dad to get our love.

Ni ukweli unaouma sana! Sina cha kuongeza nyumba kubwa. Khaa!

Najaribu ku-imagine jinsi navyompenda Mama Matesha wangu kumbe yeye akili yake yooote iko kwa Matesha kwanza then ndo anifikirie mie....... Naanza kupata sababu nyingine kwanini wanaume karibu wote walio kwenye ndoa huwa wanacheat!! You dont love us the way we love you, and what do you expect?
 
Watoto si kuwa tunawependa tu ni wafariji wa hajabu kwa kila mama. Huwa napenda kufanya mazoezi asubuhi na wakati nafanya hivyo huwa nawawazia wanangu najisemea NK fanya mazoezi ili usije ukafa na ma BP na kuwaacha hawa lovely kids bila mama. They are the reason for my living.

Well said NK
na wakati mwingine ni kama kiunganishe kwa wazazi pale panapotokea kutoelewana

Babu ODM mie naona wanaume wanajenga dhana kwamba upendo unapungua baada ya kuwa
na watoto......inawezekana ndivyo au sivyo......labda tuangalie nini kinasababisha
mama kuhamisha upendo kwa watoto zaidi ............kabla ya kuwa na watoto kuna vitu mlikuwa mnafanya pamoja
outing kila siku haziishi lakini baada ya watoto kupatikana mama anaachwa muda mwingi nyumbani akiwahudumia
hiyo pekee inapelekea mama kuwa karibu na upendo mwingi kwa watoto

ni maoni yangu
 
Msimamo wako Mbu ni realistic kwa kuwa ndoa nyingi zinavunjika na nyingine zinadumu kwa mwendo wa bora liende.

But your kids will be your kids till death do you apart.

mapenzi mengine yanaenda kwa graph lakini ya mzazi hasa mama kwa mwana ni constant.

Unaweza ukampenda sana mwanaume/mwanamke kumbe yeye wala haumo akilini mwake;

Lakini mtoto hata kama ni jambazi bado mama atampenda kwani anajua kuwa hiyo ni mali yake na position yake kama mama haiwezi kuwa replaced.

...dohh, umenianzishia na thread?

Kwanza, mwj1 pole na samahani ya misunderstandings.

Pili, msimamo na maoni yangu juu ya hili
Unakuwa influenced zaidi na status yangu.

Aspirin, ...am a divorcee, what do you expect?
My kids comes first...lakini licha ya hayo, sikubaliani
Kuishi kwenye ndoa for the sake of my kids...

Hapana, nilimpenda mke wangu..lakini wanangu ni
Zaidi!
 
Ni ukweli unaouma sana! Sina cha kuongeza nyumba kubwa. Khaa!

Najaribu ku-imagine jinsi navyompenda Mama Matesha wangu kumbe yeye akili yake yooote iko kwa Matesha kwanza then ndo anifikirie mie....... Naanza kupata sababu nyingine kwanini wanaume karibu wote walio kwenye ndoa huwa wanacheat!! You dont love us the way we love you, and what do you expect?

AND HOW IS THAT???

Finally umepata sababu nyingine ya kujustify infii....hehehhe kaazi kweli kweli!!!

Babu naomba niseme tu kwamba mnapendwa sana kwa namna ile ambayo mwanamke anawea kumpenda mwanaume kama ambavyo nayi mnawapenda wenzi wenu kwa namna ambayo mwanaume anaweza kumpenda mwanamke ila hata siku moja huwezi kupendwa na mwanamke kama anavyowapenda wanawawe, au mwanamke kuwapenda wanawe kama anavyokupenda wewe.
 
1. The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love his mother biblically
2. The best thing a mother can do for her children is submit to her husband biblically
3. The best thing parents can do for their children......the best way to love their children.....is to make a solid biblical home and to have them faithfully
devoted to GOD.
 
Ni ukweli unaouma sana! Sina cha kuongeza nyumba kubwa. Khaa!

Najaribu ku-imagine jinsi navyompenda Mama Matesha wangu kumbe yeye akili yake yooote iko kwa Matesha kwanza then ndo anifikirie mie....... Naanza kupata sababu nyingine kwanini wanaume karibu wote walio kwenye ndoa huwa wanacheat!! You dont love us the way we love you, and what do you expect?

...truth hurts bro. Haya mambo ukweli nimeujua the day we parted our ways ndipo nilipojua what love really is...

Anyway, mpende mkeo..
 
AND HOW IS THAT???

Finally umepata sababu nyingine ya kujustify infii....hehehhe kaazi kweli kweli!!!

Babu naomba niseme tu kwamba mnapendwa sana kwa namna ile ambayo mwanamke anawea kumpenda mwanaume kama ambavyo nayi mnawapenda wenzi wenu kwa namna ambayo mwanaume anaweza kumpenda mwanamke ila hata siku moja huwezi kupendwa na mwanamke kama anavyowapenda wanawawe, au mwanamke kuwapenda wanawe kama anavyokupenda wewe.
Hahaha!!! Lizzy
 
Wanajumuiya salaam

Mie ODM wa wajukuu nimepitia sredi moja nikakutana na malumbano ya "who comes first" linapokuja swala la nani zaidi kati ya watoto Vs Mke/mme kwenye familia. Yaani who comes first kwenye kupenda, kujali, kujivunia, kujisifia etc.

Hebu angalieni hii misimamo

Wa kwanza

"My kids drive me crazy, i love them to the core...... they are sooo nice to me, and they are the force behind my search for a greener pasture, and no one can change it

I have never felt that love from anyone in my life, no broken promises, no late appointments, no excuses no questions and no arguments nor inspections and poking of my private life....they are just beautiful trusting creatures

Kwa wanangu, nothing comes before them, i can take bullets"
........... MTM

Wa pili

"I love my kids more than their mum, period!
unconditional love!"
..................... Mbu

Wa tatu

"Nyie watu sio kwamba mnatumia unvariable measures kupima upendo kwa wake/spouses wenu na watoto wenu?

Mnasema they have pure love, they have uncondition sijui nini, c'mon guys what do you expect? wabehave kama wake zenu kwani wao ni wake zenu? There is no way mtoto atakupenda tofauti kwa kuwa ni mtoto na katu huwezilinganisha trust yake yeye kama mwanao na ile itokayo kwa mkeo! Kila mmoja anaplay kutokana na nafasi yake katika maisha yako bwana hebu acheni hizo!
Mlishawahijiuliza how do we feel (and the same linaapply kwa wanaume) when you put much love, time kwa watoto wetu zaidi ya wenzi wetu?! au tunajiona ni right kwa kuwa tu ni right na mnaashumu inaeleweka kwa kuwa tu inaeleweka?"
.................... MwanajamiiOne

Source: https://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusia...0-the-best-way-to-breakup-is-there-any-3.html

Nilitaka niweke na mie kamsimamo kangu kule lakini nikaona hili linahitaji mjadala unaojitegemea.

Kwangu mie wife comes first kwa kuwa:

1. Nilimpenda yeye hata kabla hatujapata watoto
2. Tusingejaliwa kupata mtoto nisingekuwa na option, angebakia kuwa yeye
3. Yeye ndiye aliyenizalia hao watoto ambao wengine ndo wanasema "wanawapenda zaidi ya mama zao
4. Ndiye chaguo langu la ukweli, sina uhakika kama hao watoto ni damu yangu kiukweli
5. Ndiye msaada wangu mkuu napokuwa matatizoni, nikiugua anavyo nihangaikia, nyie acheni tu!
6. Nikirudi nimepiga maulabu yangu, ananifungulia mlango na kunitengea chakula bila kinyongo
7. Anahakikisha niko nadhifu,
8. Napokuwa nimechacha ananielewa na kunivumilia
9. Alikubali kwa hiyari yake kuyapiga kibuti midume yooooote iliyokuwa inamsarandia akaja kwangu tena kwa kiapo kuishi nami katika shida na raha mpaka Ziraili atakapoamua kufanya vitu vyake.


Msimamo wangu:
Raha kwa watoto ni kuwaona wazazi wakipendana na kisha wao wazazi kwa pamoja kuwapenda watoto.

Baada ya kusema hayo naomba kusikia na wengine wanasemaje.

Niko kitandani huku, nawaangalia tu.
Onyo: Hairuhusiwi kuchakachua.
Refarii wa Sredi: PAW.
Let me write in bold.... like kware

Asprin

In life we all ahve loved at least five times, and every love was preced by some special moment until we grew this old!!! na katika kila kupenda kuna kuzidiana.... i love my wife, and i have said this in JF more than sevral times, but nothing can beat my love for my kids, Mbu did put it perfect... coz he ended with the word period!!!

Love has no "what if"... and by you just adding kwamba kama nisingekua na watoto, then umeweka what if" and i respect that one coz hayo yote ni majaaliwa ya mungu, na hata leo mungu akiwachukua sintamlaani mungu kwa namna yoyote ile

secondly, before getting married, we have had moments where we felt so special and never expected to part witht he previous love.... but guess what, we ended up getting married na watu tuliokutana nao at a right time... wewe Asprin ulikua unashinda pale kwa akina Naki bize unawinda, kwani umemuoa Naki??? ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

haya tuyaache hayo.... love is crazy, love stinks, love is special and love sometimes sucks

But my specail love for my kids, doesnt hvae all that, at least at the moment, nangoja wakikua wakianza kunitesa, labda mama yao atawaovateki tena kwena love, BUT AT THE MOMENT, SHE CANT BEAT MY LOVE FOR DEM KIDS, COZ THEY HAVE SHOWED ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT

............KUNA MTU KANILETEA CHA aRUSHA NGOJA NIKAMALIZIE KIPISI
 
Nyongeza....

Babu kama ambavyo mwenzako hakukupenda kwasababu ya watoto (since hawakuwepo) ndivyo ambavyo uwepo wao pekee hauwezi kupunguza mapenzi ya mwenzi wako kwako. Alikupenda kwa sababu zinazojitegemea...na mapenzi hayo yatapungua kwa sababu zinazojitegemea vile vile. Uhusika wa watoto labda uwe unafanya mambo ambayo hafurahii kwa watoto ndio watahusika indirectly kupunguza mapenzi hayo na sio kwa kuwepo tu!!
 
AND HOW IS THAT???

Finally umepata sababu nyingine ya kujustify infii....hehehhe kaazi kweli kweli!!!

Babu naomba niseme tu kwamba mnapendwa sana kwa namna ile ambayo mwanamke anawea kumpenda mwanaume kama ambavyo nayi mnawapenda wenzi wenu kwa namna ambayo mwanaume anaweza kumpenda mwanamke ila hata siku moja huwezi kupendwa na mwanamke kama anavyowapenda wanawawe, au mwanamke kuwapenda wanawe kama anavyokupenda wewe.
Mimi leo mshiki sina ujanja, nimeloa kwa kijasho! At least hiyo bold hapo nimepumua LOL

Hahahaha....nyumba ndogo zinatafutiwa justifications wallah khaa!
 
Afu kama umeshachunguza story za wamama wengi; utasikia wanakwambia "mume wangu umwambii kitu kuhusu watoto wake"

Kila mwanamke anajisikia furaha saaana akiwa na mwanaume anayewapenda watoto; and will never complain eti mume wangu anawapenda watoto kuliko mimi; tunafurahi sana tukiona waume zetu wana muda na watoto; kwa maana kuwa tuna share kitu tunachokipenda; watoto. Na ndoa za baba anayependa watoto huwa nyingi zina furaha kwani lazima utabasamu ukiona mumeo anacheza na watoto muda mwingi.
 
Kama kungekuwa na kitufe cha thanks ningekugongea hapa Asante kwa hili na ndio ukweli wenyewe................lakini ukija kuangalia nadharia ya maisha halisi wengi hawawezi tekeleza hayo labda uwe mcha/hofu ya Mungu hasaa.

1. The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love his mother biblically
2. The best thing a mother can do for her children is submit to her husband biblically
3. The best thing parents can do for their children......the best way to love their children.....is to make a solid biblical home and to have them faithfully
devoted to GOD.
 
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