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Mchagga

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Nsololi, Oct 20, 2010.

  1. N

    Nsololi JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Mar 8, 2007
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    NDUGU WANA jf, PATA JOKES KIDOGO BAADA YA MAMBO MAZITO YA SIASA
    MCHAGGA NI YUPI HASA?

    There is no Chagga tribe but just different groups of people living on the southern slopes of Mount of Kilimanjaro with the following characteristics:


    WAMACHAME (Business entrepreneurs)
    Huwezi kujua nani mwanamke na ni nani mwanaume. Kila kitu ni pesa. Yaani hata kama ni mkeo wa ndoa inakuwa hivi " kama hutoi pesa ya mbege ndoa yangu sikupi babangu" Basi kule Machame chakula cha ndoa au nimesemaje? Kufanya mapenzi ni kwa kipimo. Ukiwa katikati mama anakwambia STOOOOOOP! Hapo shilingi Elfu 20 zako ndio zimekwisha; Ukitaka ongezandio uendelee. Yahye, unasikia nasema MKE WA NDOA! Wamachame hao! Uchumba tu, lazima upeleke Kapati la mbeho!

    WAKIBOSHO (Specialized bandits)
    Mama akiwa anapiga soga na mwenziwe utawasikia hivi"Yaani Dadangu, we acha tu yule Alex wangu siku hisi amepefuka kweli; Ana akili we acha tu! Haibi tena mfukoni siku hisi, ameunda kundi lake la ujambasi, Krisimasi hii lasima nitaletewa fitenge file fya Kongo. Binti naye, AKIOLEWA NA KYASAKA, baba na mama wanamwambia " Hivi wewe huyu mwanaume kwani ni ndugu yako ? Leta hizo pesa sake tujengee huku kwetu Manka!!

    WAURU (The Elites)
    Very boring people, wakikaa ni kuongea kuhusu shule tuuuuuuuuu, masomo, digrii. Yaani yukanoti bilivu! Babu wa miaka 70 bado madaftari yake ya primary ameweka sandukuni!! Atawaonyesha wajukuu zake wote: "Ona hand writing yangu ilivyokuwa nzuri wakati nafundishwa na Father Wilson Payatt. Wanakumbuka majina ya waalimu wao hasa wazungu tangu chekechea.Uzuri wao, wanamwogopa sana Mungu. Kengele ya KANISANI ikilia saa sita mchana utaona wazee wote kilabuni wanaamka na kusali sala ya mchana ndio wanaendelea kunywa mbege.Wanapenda maparachichi hao! We acha tu!!

    WA OLD MOSHI (The Mechanics)!
    Actually Mama Mkapa ni beauty Queen kule kwao. Yaani mimi sisemi we nenda kachague mwenyewe.Taabu, Wanaume ni wabishi! Kama mkia wa mbuzi!Wanakunywa kisusio hata cha Nguruwe!! Na Gongonyingiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiii (Wenyewe waita Crysta-pen!)

    WAMARANGU (The handsome liars)!
    Wanaume wote ni waongo. Actually kuna somola "jinsi ya kudanganya" shule zote za primary kule Marangu. Both wanaume na Wanawake maisha ni raha tupu.Kwa Mmarangu halisi, kwanza ananunua gari, anachapamaisha, nae kulala kwenye gari wakati kodi ya nyumbainamshinda ni jambo la kawaida.

    WAROMBO: (The salesmen)!
    Kazi mtindo mmoja! Hawana tofauti ni kuruti wa Jeshi!Wanawake tunawaita "KUBOTA" aina ya matrekta waliyosambazwa Kilimanjaro na Wajapani miaka ya 1970. Watafutaji wa pesa!!!! We acha tu. Wahindi hawaoni ndani!Lakini ukimchezea anakuua na kukimbilia Kenya kupitia Tarakea.Ushauri wa bure! Rafiki yangu uamue mwenyewe lakini kwa ushaurimwepesi mwepesi nenda Uru (wasomi) au Rombo (wachapakazi) . Chaguo ni lako
     
  2. Utingo

    Utingo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 20, 2010
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    mchagga origino ni wa kiraeni-oldmoshi +Uru.
     
  3. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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    ok, got ya! Teamo ukirudi kutoka segerea please tueleze mshiki ni kubota au msomi.
     
  4. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 20, 2010
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    am proud to be mchaga wa marangu!!!!
     
  5. Jile79

    Jile79 JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 20, 2010
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    Kishumundu ndiyo wachaga originali
     
  6. l

    lily JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 20, 2010
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    mrombo mie, we am so proud, na naitafuta pesa haswa!
     
  7. S

    Seekype Member

    #7
    Oct 21, 2010
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    Mimi ni half caste wa marangu na old Moshi. sijakubaliana na defn zako kabisaa..
    Mchaga hashindwi kodi, we are fighters na hata tukielekea kushindwa tunasaidiana maana tuna umoja sana.

    Mpeni mchagga nchi muone investments zitakavyoongezeka si kama wengine kazi kutabasamu na kuombaomba tu misaada dunia nzima. Ni maoni tu...
     
  8. Mom

    Mom JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 21, 2010
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    ngoja nisubiri wachaga wote waje leo ntawajua wote!
     
  9. TUKUTUKU

    TUKUTUKU JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 21, 2010
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    Mimi sina utani na wachaga,labda wangekuwa Wagogo!I reserve my comments!
     
  10. l

    lily JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 21, 2010
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    we uoni TBL yote imejaa wachagaa, hee minja yuko wapi siku hizi?
     
  11. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 21, 2010
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    waaacha......duh:A S 103::A S-rose::dance:
     
  12. m

    mungiki2 Member

    #12
    Oct 21, 2010
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    mmachame mie
     
  13. Elli

    Elli JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 21, 2010
    Joined: Mar 17, 2008
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    ...Basi tukaanza kulewa, tukalewa, tukalewa weee, wakati tunalewa, akaja Mmasi, akaanza kumshikashika, mke wa mushi, basi nakwambia pale palikuwa hapatoshi...nafikiri nimesahau baadhi ya mashairi ya wimbo huu wa watani zangu.
     
  14. l

    lily JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 21, 2010
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    ha ha ha ha hapo umenena ndaooooooooo
     
  15. mojoki

    mojoki JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 21, 2010
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    Tatizo ukijitambulisha me mchaga wa uru watu wanakuona bonge la mshamba...wakati ilikuaga zamani
     
  16. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 22, 2010
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    ivi ni wapi tz hii utaenda usimkute mchagga na biashara zake!! tuko juu bana!
     
  17. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 22, 2010
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    Shamesha mshiki:A S kiss::A S kiss::A S kiss::A S kiss:
     
  18. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 22, 2010
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    Ria kidoko mchiki okwo!:A S kiss::A S kiss::A S kiss:
     
  19. H

    Hardwood JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 22, 2010
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    Wachagga wa URU ndio wenye tabia na haiba nzuri ajabu....... Nilisoma na rafiki yangu mkibosho na yeye alikiri hivyo.... Hii ilinishawishi kuoa mchagga kutoka URU.... Jamani nyumba yangu imejaa furaha full time.... hilo nakiri wazi... na anajua kufanya kazi kwa bidii ajabu....
     
  20. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 22, 2010
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    aika msacha okwo!!:hug:
     
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