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Married Life

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by BAK, Sep 12, 2008.

  1. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 12, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    A couple had only been married for two weeks, but the husband, although
    very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with
    his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right
    back.

    "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

    "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
    refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
    different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
    think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know...
    they have Frozen glasses... "

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
    by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer
    mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
    holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the
    bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
    be long. I'll be right back. I promise... OK?"


    "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took
    out 4 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
    blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

    "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know, there's swearing, dirty
    words and all that..."

    "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? "LISTEN UP DI*KHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT
    THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED A** ISN'T GOING TO A FRICKING BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER... GOT IT, A**HOLE?"
     
  2. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 12, 2008
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    Ayaaa!! Welcome to the club!!!
     
  3. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 12, 2008
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
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    Ohh yeah,,,welcome to the team....to be called husband its not easy.
     
  4. africa6666

    africa6666 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 15, 2008
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    Jamaa hakuwa na reasoning capacity..... alikua anajifunza kutoka nje.... aje tumpe desa
    kwa kawaida hutakiwi kusema unacho enda fanya, we unaaga tu ukirudi ndo unatunga story ya uong na ......
     
  5. SIMBA DUME

    SIMBA DUME Member

    #5
    Sep 20, 2008
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    wifu wa just marride akimchoka wala hata uliza unakokwenda
     
  6. R

    Rodelite JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 20, 2008
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    That's very funny....but I'm also saying....Welcome to the Club.....It's not that easy....
     
  7. u

    utu wangu Member

    #7
    Nov 28, 2008
    Joined: May 10, 2008
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    hahah very funny
     
  8. IronBroom

    IronBroom JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 28, 2008
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    oh oh oh oh oh lol
     
  9. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 28, 2008
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    its like some guys wakinganganiwa na nyumba ndogo to sleep at their places .. the next day wanasingizia they were arrested .. kweli dear nimeachiwa asubuhi baada ya kuwapa elfu kumi... mhhhh .. what a life
     
  10. Eeka Mangi

    Eeka Mangi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 28, 2008
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    Funny! friend alizidiwa na nyumba ndogo asubuhi anaenda home akadanganya alipoteza funguo za gari. Poleni
     
  11. Mshiiri

    Mshiiri JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 28, 2008
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    Married life is a very short life during your adulthood say one married late twenties and early thirties; then add say 45 years and among those 45yrs, 17yrs this very one is sexually hyperactive, then the rest dormant. Of interest is 17yrs here. Among these 17yrs more than 50% is spent in searching for daily bread and less than 30% for sleep which all these two scenari give no each other time to interact sexually. Therefore less than 20% of 17yrs is time that may provide a window of opportunity in sexual interaction and interaction with a family. Which is less than 3yrs.

    So for a married life the actual time that may be available to sexual interaction and interaction with a family is less than 3yrs for an entire life in marriage.

    WHY think so much or depressed with your wife or husband while is the one you spend the least time with in your entire life???????

    Conclusively ONE spends less time with a family/wife/husband than the work itself in the entire life career! Isn't it?
     
  12. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Nov 28, 2008
    Joined: May 30, 2008
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    interesting analysis...
    i like ur avatar!
     
  13. M

    Mama JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 28, 2008
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    hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa, good for you. I HATE IT!
     
  14. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Nov 28, 2008
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    i like it coz my little boy finds it so amusing..it makes his day mama!
     
  15. M

    Mama JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Nov 28, 2008
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    Congrats, he is a strong one! Sometimes I shout out of fear.
     
  16. Mshiiri

    Mshiiri JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Nov 29, 2008
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    Thanks mama that is only two sides of the coin. You can not of course be intermediate; it is either you like it or not, no average on two side of the coin especially when you are told to choose one.

    Once again thanks mama for hating it. You know what it makes a day for many and of course bad days for few who do not have love with Tanzania.

    And it shows that as an inference better read my signature.
    Asante!!!
     
  17. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Nov 29, 2008
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    The signature speaks volumes!
     
  18. Mshiiri

    Mshiiri JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Nov 29, 2008
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    Thanks mkulu,
    My signature + Your signature = ??????
     
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