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Marriage of convenience....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by PetCash, Apr 21, 2012.

  1. PetCash

    PetCash JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 21, 2012
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    Nawaza, ndoa nyingi tulizo nazo ama zimepangwa au watu wamependana kiukweli. Kwa mfano watu wanamuona uliyempenda haja 'qualify' na wewe wakikulazimisha umuoe/uolewe na wanaomuona ka'qualify' wewe hujampenda (ila kwa vigezo vya kuingilia ndoani anavyo vyote).

    -> Ndani ya ndoa na uliyempenda kila mkitoka watu wanawasema na saa nyingine kumuambia mmojawapo,'wewe hukumstahili yule/ndugu yetu'. Sasa, hii huleta stress ndani ya ndoa na saa nyingine kutoelewana. Mwishowe mjumlisho wa mikwaruzano ya mara kwa mara ikaweka ndoa mashakani...
    ->Ndoa ya kupangwa mikwaruzano huanza kwa ndani, hii nadhani wengi wanaielewa zaidi na mara nyingi huingia mashakani..

    Sasa tujadili uzito wa kuwa na vigezo vya kuwa mme/mke kwa kuulinganisha na ule wa kupenda/kupendwa..
    mikwaruzo ya kuanzia ndani kwa ulinganisho na ile ya kuanzia nje..

    a) najua mtasema oa / olewa na umpendaye ila dunia hii haiko hivyo watu wengi (marafiki zangu wa karibu) wameachwa broken hearted na watu wakaenda oa/olewa na wenye vigezo (uwezo wa kipesa na busara za kulea familia).
    b) okay mtasema usisikilize ya watu...ila kumbuka hawa si watu wa kawaida tu! ni viongozi wetu wa kiroho(kidini), ni wazazi waliotuona tunakua na wanajua vitu tunavyohitaji ni marafiki/ndugu wa karibu sana.

    Nawasilisha na kufungua rasmi mjadala...

     
  2. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 21, 2012
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    Mimi nasema oa uliyemchagua so that you have urself to blame if it fail to work!
     
  3. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 21, 2012
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    naungana na Kaunga, oa mtu ukiliyemchangua wewe ndoa ikifana au ikishindikana litakuwa ni juu yako na huyomtupia mtu lawama......

    Afterall kila mtu ana haki ya kukosea....
     
  4. PetCash

    PetCash JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 21, 2012
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    Hao watu muhimu in your life watakusema na ndoa ikiingia mashakani, ukijiuliza what went wrong?-unaanza kuwaza labda ni kwa sababu sikumsikiliza fulani na it gets all over complicated!
     
  5. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 21, 2012
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    Mi nashauri kama unajijua maisha ya ndoa huyawezi ni bora usioe/olewe vinginevyo chagua utakaewezana nae na msiishi kwa kuhofia watu..
     
  6. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 21, 2012
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    wazee wanasema hakuna mtu alishawah kupatia kuoa hata cku moja. hii ina maana kwamba hakuna binadamu alie mkamilifu. ipo cku utajikuta unajuta kwa namna moja ama nyngne kuolewa ama kuoa mtu flan! so cha muhmu ni kuridhika na mke au mume wako na kuvumiliana tu
     
  7. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 21, 2012
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    Na ukiwafata wao, na ndoa ikikushinda? Si utawalaumu na kugombana nao!
     
  8. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 22, 2012
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    why do u have negative perception abt marriage? Kwanini usifikirie utafanya nn ili kuiboresha ndoa yako wewe unawaza ikifail itakuaje? Na kwanini uangalie zaidi wat other pple think of kuliko kuangalia ur heart? Ndio maana ndoa ckuhz hazidumu maana unajitahidi kuwaridhisha wanaokuzunguka kisa eti unahisi utajuta bdae.think positive and stop generalising things.
     
  9. vanilla

    vanilla JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 22, 2012
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    why do u have negative perception abt marriage? Kwanini usifikirie utafanya nn ili kuiboresha ndoa yako wewe unawaza ikifail itakuaje? Na kwanini uangalie zaidi wat other pple think of kuliko kuangalia ur heart? Ndio maana ndoa ckuhz hazidumu maana unajitahidi kuwaridhisha wanaokuzunguka kisa eti unahisi utajuta bdae.think positive and stop generalising things.
     
  10. Boniface Evarist

    Boniface Evarist JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 22, 2012
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    I will mary when I want.
     
  11. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 22, 2012
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    Wewe ndio unayeweka ndoa na wewe ndo utakayeharibu na kusikiliza mambo ya watu kunaharibu zaidi. Wewe haujaona watu wameoana lakini mmojawao aidha mke au mme haelewani na inlaws au hatakiwi lakini ndani baina yao wawili mambo yao swafi.


    This come to the conclusion, marry the person you love, usisikilize maneno ya watu after all if something happen you won't have to blame anybody or except yourself. Ndugu, jamaa na marafiki are important however in marriage and life you are the captain and live the way you feel like/want, dont guarantee they will be there when you are screwed.
     
  12. Nemo

    Nemo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 22, 2012
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    Petcash
    I totally agree with what you wrote.........most of the time people end up with patners they were made to believe will make ideal wives/hubbies and not the women/ men they really want !! Which is such a waste if you ask me, maana in the long run wanaishia miserable and/or having extra marital relations with the hao hao walio wa mwaga if not their clones!:eek:hwell:
     
  13. PetCash

    PetCash JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 22, 2012
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    Exactly my dear, watu wengi baadaye wanakuja kuona kupendana ni fairy tales na wanaangalia vigezo wana oa/olewa...people have stopped believing in love because they don't want to be responsible, and choosing the qualified is the easy way out...
     
  14. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 22, 2012
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    Taasisi hii pasua kichwa, haina formula.
    Cheza mziki kadiri kichwa chako kinavyokuongoza hiso steps.

    Hata kama ukisakata rumba katikati ya hip hop ili mradi una furaha na amani moyoni.
     
  15. E

    ESAM JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 23, 2012
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    I share your comments 100%
     
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