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Marital "Walk-out"

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by NewDawnTz, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Siku hizi tofauti sana na siku za nyuma, ni rahisi sana kusikia mtu na mwenza wake wameachana. Be it kwenye ndoa au wale ambao wako kwenye mahusiano kuelekea kwenye ndoa.

    Kwa mfano kwa muda wa miezi mi-wili iliyopita nimeshuhudia almost 5 friends of mine waliokuwa kwenye uhusiano kuachana na wenza wao na ndoa kama mbili ambazo moja Mwanaume kaamua ku-walk out na nyingine ni mwanamke ndio kaamua.

    Haya yamenifanya nijiulize maswali mengi sana kichwani mwangu. May be i can get some help

    (i) Kwanini mahusiano yanavunjika??? Ladies, what makes you reach a decision to break your marriage/relations and men what makes you do so???

    (ii) Is there any thing like irreparable relation? (uhusiano usiotengenezeka) and why the relation to reach such a point given that you entered it with sound mind and good will and with a "untill-death-do-us-part' love??

    (ii) Je wanaovunja mahusiano wakiwa ndani ya ndoa kwa sababu yoyote, ni kweli kwamba hawakuiona hapo awali na kuamua kabla ya kuolewa?? Au walidhani wakishaolewa/oa wenza wao watajirekebisha?? Au ni kuficha makucha???

    (iii) Tunasikia kuziba ufa kwafaa kuliko kujenga ukuta, je kuna dalili zozote za 'marital discontent' au sababu yoyote ya kuelekea kuvunja uhusiano na ni tahadhari gani ichukuliwe na pande zote mbili ku-rescue hali na kuendeleza uhusiano??
    Note: Nitashukuru kwa faida ya kujifunza, Ladies mkatusaidia kujua dalili kwa upande wenu na men tukaweka kwa upande wetu ili tujifunze kusawazisha mambo kabla hayajachelewa.

    Ninachofahamu ni kwamba, kutofautiana ni kupo na kutaendelea kuwepo (labda kama nakosea kudhani hivi), lakini tujue sababu na misingi kisha tupate na dawa ya kusaidia kuweka mambo sawa

    Tupeane elimu hii jamani ili ku-rescue relations na kupunguza 'walk-out' zisizo za msingi.
     
  2. Fab

    Fab JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 15, 2010
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    mmnh wacha zivunjike kuliko kukaa kny unhappy relationship....
    wengi hudiscover watu waliowaoa/olewa nao wako actually tofauti na walivyofikiria....
    kipindi cha courtship wengi huficha makucha yao...
    pale ambapo mmeshaoana,mnalala na kuamka pamoja ndipo true colours zinaonekana...
    and most dont like what they seee....wanaamua kusambaa.
     
  3. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #3
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Tatizo lilianzia pale ambapo binadamu wa kizazi hiki tulipojua maana ya happy and unhappy relationships. Wazee wetu hawakuwa na hizo concept zaidi ya ile ya ndoa ni uvumilivu.
     
  4. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Swali langu ni kwamba, hakuna njia za mmoja wapo kukunjua makucha yaliyofuichwa kabla ya kuolewa?? Yaani, unafanyaje ili kuweza kum-explore to the gutter mwenza wako na kujua uhalisia wa kucha zake???
     
  5. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Hakuna namna ya kuweka sawa hii hali na kurudi mahali ambapo tumetoka??? Kwa sababu ninachoelwa, ukizungumiza uvumilivu maana yake ni kutulia, kuchukulia na kuamini kuna kitu unaweza ukafanya mambo yaka kaa sawa kesho. Is there no way back to where we are coming from???
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Ndo maana 'japo sio sahihi sana' ni muhimu ukiweza kuishi na mwenzio kwa muda kabla yakufunga ndoa!Itakusaidia kusoma vitabia vyake vidogo vidogo ili uamue kama unaweza SIO KUMBADILISHA ila kuvumilia!Tena mnaweza kuishi bila kuhusiana kimwili bila matatizo!
     
  7. Akili Unazo!

    Akili Unazo! JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Haswa Mwanj1 umenena hayo yote yalikuwepo enzi za mababa zetu na mababu zetu ila tatizo ni sisi tunayaona kama mapya kwetu na hayakuwahi kuwatokea
     
  8. K

    Kagasheki Member

    #8
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Kuna sababu kadhaa za msingi zinazosababisha Mahusiano/Ndoa za siku hizi kutokudumu.Mabadiliko yanayoletwa na "Utandawazi" na kubadili kabisa mfumo sahihi wa maisha umetupotosha kwa kiasi kikubwa sana ktk suala zima la mapenzi.Kinachotokoea ni kwamba ile falsafa ya kujitoa kwa hali yeyote kwa mwenzio kukiambatana Kupendana,Kuheshimiana na Kusameheana kumepoteza maana siku hizi.Vijana walio wengi wanasukumwa na taswira ya nje ya mtu badala ya ndani ambayo unataraji kuishi nayo kwa muda mrefu,matokeo yake ni utofauti wa tabia na mienendo baiona yao.Sababu nyingine za msingi zinazoleteleza mifarakano ni zifuatazo:
    1.Pesa imetokea kuwa na ushawishi mkubwa sana nyakati hizi kwenye mahusiano ya walio wengi japo ina umuhimu wake pia.
    2.Uchumba wa siku hizi umekuwa ni wa muda mfupi sana usiotoa wasaha mzuri kumfahamu mwenza wako kiundani ili kujua mapungufu ya kila mmoja.
    3.Haraka za kuwahi kuoa/Kuolewa pasipo maandalizi sahihi ya maisha yenyewe nayo imetokea kusumbua wengi.
    4. Mbwembwe na kujikweza kuwa mmojawapo wa walio ndani ya Ndoa kwa minajili ya kupata heshima na hadhi nayo imetokea kuchangia wengi kufanya maamuzi ya kukurupuka pasipo utafiti.
    5.Taswira ya nje inayoonekana kwa baadhi ya wanandoa tofauti na uhalisia wa ndani imetokea pia kuwapumbaza vijana wengi kukimbilia Ndoa pasipo tafakuri.
    6.Desturi iliyokuwapo huko nyuma kuwa mke ni mtu wa kumtumikia na kumnyenyekea mume muda wote imebadili sana mfumo wa maisha ya wanandoa wengi.Nyakati hizi wasichana wengi wameelimika na hivyo kufanya kazi zenye vipato vya kutosha kukidhi mahitaji yao na hivyo kutomtegemea sana mwanaume.
    Kwa kifupi nyakati za leo zinahitaji umakini sana wa maamuzi ya kuoana tofauti na hapo nyuma maana mfumo wa maisha umebadilisha misingi ya Mahusiano na Ndoa iliyokuwapo hapo awali.Hii ndio changamoto inayowakabili vijana wengi hivi sasa maana mapenzi yamekuwa ya upotoshaji kwa kiasi kikubwa.
     
  9. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

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    Well said and nice build up!!! Thanks, kwa kuanzia inafaa
     
  10. d

    diana98 Member

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    Huo mpango wa nje haswa ndo huwa chanzo cha ndoa kuharibika si mwanamke si mwanaume zamani wababu zetu wlikuwa wanaheshimu ndoa zasiku hizi kuna tabia za kuvumiliana katika ndoa ila si mpango wa nje kuna gojwa sasa nani anataka mwache aende akapange vizuri mipango ya nje vizuri
     
  11. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Lazima umeachika wewe
     
  12. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Dec 15, 2010
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    Kama nilivyofundishwa kwenye Elimu ya Ndoa - Siku hizi watu wanaoana "by chance" and not "by choice" - Kile kinachoitwa kuchumbia siku hizi, ni michezo ya kugonoka tu! Utasikia vijana wanasema "bado tunasomana" which literaly means "bado tunafanya ngono zembe"... until when the chance strikes wanatangaza ndoa!
     
  13. Fab

    Fab JF-Expert Member

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    mara tatu!! vipi unataka kuwa mume wangu wa nne?
     
  14. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Labda wengi siku hizi hawataki kuishi kwenye ndoa ambazo hazina mapenzi kabisa au vipigo kila kukicha. Na pia akina dada wengi siku hizi wana uwezo mkubwa tu wa kuishi wenyewe kutokana na kipato chao kikubwa tofauti na miaka ile ambapo akina mama wengi walikuwa ni mama wa nyumbani tu hivyo walikuwa hawana kipato hivyo kumtegemea mume kwa kila kitu na hivyo kutokuwa na uwezo wa kujitunza.

    Just A Dream - Nelly | Music Video | VEVO
     
  15. Che Kalizozele

    Che Kalizozele JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 15, 2010
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    Kaka siku nyingi unajua,hivi nilikuwa nasubiria nisikie umeukwaa ubunge sehemu kwani ukimya ule niliamini umeamua kuingia mzima mzima badala ya kuwa mtazamaji.BAK Welcome back,tulikumiss mbaya.
     
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