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Mambo yanayo kufanya uwe mswahili...

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Gudboy, Sep 22, 2009.

  1. Gudboy

    Gudboy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 22, 2009
    Joined: Aug 14, 2009
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    1.Unamwita mtu usiyemjua(wala kukutana nae kabla)aunt au anco.
    2.Asilimia 90 ya CD pamoja na cassete za muziki ulizonazo nyumbani ni feki (sio original copies).
    3.Stooyako imejaa vitu (makorokoro) kwa kuwa hutupi kwa kuamini kuwa ipo siku utayahitaji kwa mfano karpet ukilitoa hulitupi n.k.
    4.Una machupa ya maji matupu ya shampoo perfume pamoja na vipodozi vingine umeweka tuu wala huna shughuli navyo.
    5.Watoto wako wote wana majina ya utani mfano babu ali,chidi,mamu,dida n.k.
    6.Hakuna mtu katika familia yako anayetoa taarifa kwako anapo kuja kukutembelea mfano kaka,shangazi n.k.
    7.Mifuko yako imejaa vitu kama vile vijiti vya kusafishia meno,tissue n.k ulivyochukua sehemu kama vile mgahawani.
    8.Mama yako anamigogoro na ndugu na hawazungumzi kwa muda wa siku 10au zaidi.
    9.Hupigi simu isipokuwa katika
    muda ambao gharama za kupiga ni nafuu(mfano usiku sana )na mara nyingi huwa una beep
    tu.

    10.Ulipokua mdogo nguo unazonunuliwa pamoja na viatu ni vikubwa mara mbili ili uweze kuvivaa muda mrefu zaidi.
    11.Wakati ukisafiri na ndege unabeba mzigo wa uzito mkubwa kuliko inavyoruhusiwa.
    12.Unapomsaidia mtu na akafanikiwa basi utakuwa unasema kama sio mimi asingekuwa vile yule.
    ila kuna ka ukweli jamani
     
  2. Sophist

    Sophist JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 22, 2009
    Joined: Mar 26, 2009
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    Kuanzisha THREAD yenye 'taarifa za uswahili'
     
  3. BabaBabuu

    BabaBabuu Member

    #3
    Sep 22, 2009
    Joined: Mar 31, 2009
    Messages: 86
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    jajajajajajajajajajaja (spanish),umepiga msumali mahala pake mazee
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 23, 2009
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    Ha ha ha ha nimecheka mpaka basi,halafu ni kweli tupu,ingawa in touch
     
  5. s

    seer Member

    #5
    Sep 23, 2009
    Joined: Apr 2, 2009
    Messages: 45
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    Haaaaa ! hii kweli kabisa
    bado moja " unapoulizwa swali nawe unauliza badala ya kujibu au kusema sijaelewa"
     
  6. Hebrew

    Hebrew JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 23, 2009
    Joined: Jul 3, 2008
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    Kuna mengi umesahau;

    * unapenda kujua mambo ya wengine yasiokuhusu a.k.a umbeya
    * unaeneza mambo/tambala au habari ambazo si za kweli
    * unakwenda kwa watu bila kukaribishwa (haswa wakati wa mlo)
    * unapenda kusema kuwa huna pesa wakati unazo
     
  7. JoJiPoJi

    JoJiPoJi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 23, 2009
    Joined: Aug 8, 2009
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    pindi unapojisikia maumivu unapenda kunywa dawa bila kupata ushauri wa daktari
     
  8. nzalendo

    nzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 24, 2009
    Joined: May 26, 2009
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    • kuongea kwa sauti kubwa katika daladala mambo yako binafsi.
    • kuimba wimbo kwa sauti ya juu ili wengine waone unauelewa sana.
    • kuwatangazia watu kwamba umejenga (hukai nyumba ya kupanga).
    • kuweka kandambili mlango wa ******.
    • kutundika meseji za mafumbo sebuleni.
    • kuandika meseji za ajabu katika magari.
    • kuwa na madeni baaa na kwa mama ntilie.
    • kupiga mswaki hadharani huku umejifunga kijitaulo.
     
  9. Kobe

    Kobe JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 24, 2009
    Joined: Jun 17, 2009
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    .kupenda kujua jirani yako leo kala/kapika nini.?
    .kupenda vitu vya gharama kuliko uwezo wako binafsi.
     
  10. Andindile

    Andindile JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 24, 2009
    Joined: Mar 18, 2009
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    -Kupenda kukojoa pembezoni mwa barabara
    -kununua vitu njiani na kuanza kula
    -kuuza biza chini na hasa pembeni mwa barabara
    -kununua bidhaa sehemu zisizo rasmi
     
  11. JoJiPoJi

    JoJiPoJi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 24, 2009
    Joined: Aug 8, 2009
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    kutopokea simu ya mtu anayekudai
     
  12. GP

    GP JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 24, 2009
    Joined: Feb 5, 2009
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    ukipanda daladala za uswazi kama mbagala na uko sopusopu basi unajifanya hujui vituo eti unamuuliza jirani yako 'hapa wapi?, tukifika sehemu flani nistue sikufahamu kabisa'!!.
     
  13. fundiaminy

    fundiaminy JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 1, 2009
    Joined: Jun 4, 2009
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    badala ya kumuambia jirani karibu tule unamuambia karibu twala.
     
  14. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 1, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
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    - Hujali usafi wa mazingira ya nyumbani kwako bali unapenda kujikwatua na kuvaa vizuri uonekane na watu hata ikibidi kuazima kuanzia nguo, viatu hadi hereni, mikufu na mapambo mengine
    - Kama ni mwanamama unapenda sana kukaa barazani kuangalia wapitao
    -Kuvaa khanga zenye maneno ya mipasho na kupiga miziki ya taarabu ya mipasho
     
  15. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 1, 2009
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    ha ha ha ha yaani umenikumbusha mbali sana
    na hiyo kupiga mswaki hadharani huku umejifunga taulo.....yaani
     
  16. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 1, 2009
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    ....kupenda kutazama filam za kanumba na wenzie
    ....kupenda kuponda watu waliokuzidi kipato
     
  17. s

    seer Member

    #17
    Oct 2, 2009
    Joined: Apr 2, 2009
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    -we nawe mswahili nani kakwambia kuuliza ni ujinga?
     
  18. K

    Kayanda Member

    #18
    Oct 2, 2009
    Joined: Sep 14, 2009
    Messages: 24
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    1.Kuwa na nyumba ndogo.
    2.Kuwa na wivu kwa mkeo.
    3.Kuweka simu kwenye silence hasa ukiwa na mkeo.
    4.Kuandika majina ya uongo kwenye address book ya simu yako.
     
  19. eRRy

    eRRy JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 3, 2009
    Joined: Jun 12, 2009
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    -Kunywa Soda/bia (chupa moja)kwa mda wa saa nzima
    -Kuongea kwa sauti kubwa kwenye simu!
    -Kubipu
     
  20. K

    Katabazi JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 3, 2009
    Joined: Feb 18, 2007
    Messages: 355
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    *Kuangalia mwanamke ambaye si wako akipita mpaka aishie haswa wakati ana bonge law....
    *Kupiga mziki kwa sauti ya juu mpaka nyumba ya nne mtaani wajue una mziki gani mtaani
    *Kutamani/Kuwa na wanawake zaidi ya 3 kwa pamoja
    *Wanawake kuvalia khanga zenye maneno ya kusutana hata wakati wa msiba
    *Mwanamke kutaka kuhongwa hata kama yy ndie mwenye kipata zaidi.
    *Hata uwe umesoma kiasi gai kukubali kuongopewa tu
     
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