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Mambo ya ndoa (swali)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mnyalu wa Kweli, Oct 26, 2010.

  1. M

    Mnyalu wa Kweli JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 26, 2010
    Joined: Oct 7, 2010
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    Ikiwa mke wako wa ndoa anayefanya kazi inayofanana na yako anatoka saa kumi na mbili asubuhi kuelekea kazini na kurudi mara saa tatu, saa nne, saa tano na wakati mwingine saa saba za usiku na hana hata muda wa kuangalia watoto, nyumba na hata kuchangia financially mahitaji ya hapo nyumbani. Utamfanya nini?

    Assume umeshawahi kuitisha kikao cha wandugu wa pande zote mkajadili suala hilo lakini ameshindwa kubadilika na mmezaa watoto wamili .

    Mmoja anakaribia miaka minne na wa pili ana miezi minne tu ila amegoma kunyonya maziwa ya mama yake hivyo anaishi kwa uji, maziwa ya kopo na maji, sometimes mnampa juisi ya embe na papai.

    Utafanya nini kwa mke kama huyo?
     
  2. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 26, 2010
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    kwanza natanguliza pole

    unaweza kujaribu kumtishia kuwa utaoa mke wa pili (sio uoe kweli)...........lazima ashtuke kama anakupenda kweli
     
  3. TUKUTUKU

    TUKUTUKU JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Duh!hii ni mitihani ya ndoa,cha kufanya ni kuwa mvumilivu!!!
     
  4. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Kama unaishi kwenye nyumba yako mwenyewe : mfukuze

    Kama unaishi kwenye nyumba ya kupanga : tafuta nyumbani nyingine hamia na watoto mwache peke yake
     
  5. M

    Malunde JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Mnyalu wa kweli,

    Inawezekana ikawa vigumu kukupa jibu la moja kwa moja hapa.Mambo ya kujiuliza tabia hii ilianza lini? na ilikuwaje mpaka mkaitisha kikao cha ndugu badala ya kumaliza wenyewe? Je! umefanya uchunguzi wa kutosha kujiridhisha kwamba kuchelewa huko anakuwa kazini kweli? tukiyajua haya, twaweza kuwa na mawili matatu ya kuchangia.
     
  6. M

    Mike 1234 JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Hamisha posts yako zen nitakupa ushauri
     
  7. payuka

    payuka JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Vumilia tu mpaka akuue na maradhi ya kisasa!
     
  8. T

    Taifa_Kwanza JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Interesting
    Kwanza kama Kichwa cha familia, ukiona baba mwenye nyumba analalamika namna hii, ni dhahiri kabisa kwamba familia imeanza kumshinda kuiendesha.

    Nategemea na wife atakuwa anafahamu kwamba husband ndio kiongozi wa familia na hivyo maamuzi na mashauri yake ni lazima yasikilizwe, hasa na yeye wife. Kama Mwanamke hana ufahamu huu wa msingi kabisa basi misingi ya familia inakuwa legevu na hapo ndio chanzo cha matatizo.

    Na kama hali iko namna hiyo, basi tatizo zio kazi ya wife hata kidogo, tatizo ni uelewa wa misingi ya familia hasa katika swala la maamuzi ya mwisho.

    Mwanamke ni lazima atambue kwamba maamuzi anayofanya mwanamme ni kwa faida ya familia, na mwanamme ni lazima afanye maamuzi katika misingi hiyo, kwa faida ya familia nzima akiwamo wife pia, na sio maamuzi yaliyojikita katika fikra za wivu.

    Umezungumzia juu ya mtoto ambaye tayari ameshindwa kupata chakula kutoka mama, hii ni ishara kwamba mama au wote wawili hamuelewi majukumu yenu kwa mtoto,

    cha msingi ni kwamba, maamuzi sahihi katika situations za namna hii huwa sio ya kibabe, by the way unaweza kukuta mama ndio mhemeaji mkuu wa chakula nyumbani, hapo panakuwa patamu kweli kweli.
     
  9. Ras

    Ras Senior Member

    #9
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Pole sana Man.
    Ila naomba tuweke sawa kwanza hapo kwenye nyekundu, najua kuwa kama anafanya kazi kama yako ni wazi ratiba lazima zitafanana kwa maana kuwa mkeo hawezi kukudanganya kuhusu majukumu kama labda kumzidia huko ofisini sbb wajua majukumu hayo pia! Je wewe huwa warudi muda gani hasa? Je yeye hutoa sbb gani hasa za kuchelewa?? Hebu tuweke wazi kabisa Man tusaidiane mawazo sbb tupo pia wanaume wenye familia kama wewe twaweza changia kimawazo endelevu lakini hasa tupate undani wa tatizo! JE KUNA SBB ALIZOZITOA KTK HICHO KIKAO NA NDUGU.

    Penye blue, inashangaza, kwa hiyo anafanya kazi ya nini kama hana hata anachochangia ktk familia? nafikiri katika hili ni bora ukawa na msimamo kuwa kwa kuwa hana faida yoyote itokanayo na kufanya kazi kwake zaidi yakuchelewa kurudi na kudhoofisha hiyo familia changa na pengine awezaleta (balaa la gonjwa) mkawaacha watoto wanahangaika akae nyumbani aache hiyo kazi, kama akikataa achana naye huyo hana future ikibidi hata tendo la ndoa usishiriki naye hadi mkapime (naasume kwa hali hii hata hilo tendo sidhani) wewe angalia watoto wako natumaini utaweza walea tu.

    Again pole sana Man, but Jah is great He will heel your family.

    Guidance.
     
  10. Chauro

    Chauro JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Haya matatizo yatakuwa yameanza kwenye mahusiano yenu wenyewe toka mwanzo je kila mtu anajua wajibu wake kwenye familia si support hata kidogo mama kurudi muda huo hasa kwa sasa mtoto huyo mdogo sana anahitaji matunzo na upendo wa mama wa karibu.

    Au wewe ndo wale wanaume unakabidhi kichwa chako kwa mama bila kuangalia huo mzigo unamuelemea kiasi gani kila kitu ni yeye afanye au majukumu yanakuwa hamsini kwa hamsini bila kuangalia yeye anapata kiasi gani ndo hayo anafanya mpaka kazi za ziada kupata kipato kama sivyo kuna jambo humridhishi mlishakaa mkaongea kwanza kabla ya kupeleka mambo kwa ndugu.

    Kaeni chini mtafute chanzo ndo mtatibu matatizo yenu
     
  11. Papa Mopao

    Papa Mopao JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Kwa haraka haraka mi navyoona kuna kukwepa majukumu hapa ya kifamilia zaidi, kuna wengine pia wanakwepa majukumu kama wazazi ndani ya familia! Na ndo maana unaona hali kama hiyo.

    Kwanza ikiwezekana peleka shauri hili kwa wazazi au watu wenye busara wakushauri namna ya kufanya kwa kila mmoja wenu (Mume na Mke),nadhani hili litasaidia zaidi.

    Usiogope hakuna tatizo lisilo na mwisho, kila tatizo lina solutions zake!
     
  12. T

    The King JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 26, 2010
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    pole sana
     
  13. Mtende

    Mtende JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 26, 2010
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    hebu chunguza mwenendo wa mkeo maana tabia yake inatia wasiwasi be serious as a husband,ninapochoka hapo anapokosa muda hata na watoto wake aliowazaa kwa uchungu leba,hebu kuwa makini sana na mwenendo wake na kama hatobadilika follow another step
     
  14. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 26, 2010
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    ......Hii hatari mama kuanza kazi saa 12 asubuhi hadi saa 3 za usiku jamani...naona ajabu atiiii!! Muda gani anakaa na familia yake?Je weekend anaenda kazini au yupo nyumbani? Hata kama weekend anashinda nyumbani bado huyo mama hana muda na familia.


    Kama inawezekana mie nadhani angetafuta kazi nyingine ambayo atapata nafasi kuwa na familia........hii kazi anayofanya sasa si nzuri itabomoa familia maana muda mwingi anakuwa kazini.Malezi ya mama yanahitajika sana katika familia ili iwe bora.

    Hivyo Mnyalukolo unaweza kufanya jitihada na kumshauri mkeo atafute kazi nyingine ya kufanya muda mchache.
     
  15. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Pole na matatizo,ila nadhani ni challenges za maisha.Mkijaribu kutatua tatizo kwa pamoja na kwa upendo,mtalimaliza.Ila kama ni kwa ubabe na kuwa yeye ni mwanamke ndo maana inabidi awahi,mtazua ligi ambayo mwisho wake watoto watateseka tu.
    1 Jaribuni kuangalia kama kuna umuhimu wa kubadilisha aina ya kazi anayofanya ili apate muda wa kuwa na watoto. Inaweza kuchukua muda kidogo (kama job hunting au elimu zaidi etc) na kuna haja ya kuangalia madhara yake kwa kipato chenu kama familia unless kama wewe ndo unatoa kila kitu cha matumizi peke yako.
    2 Japo hujasema kama wewe unarudi nyumbani saa ngapi,lakini kama muda wako unaruhusu wewe kuwa karibu kuangalia watoto inaweza isiwe tatizo. Isije ikawa wewe unatoka kazini saa kumi na moja,foleni inakuwa folrni unafika saa sita home, watoto ni wenu wote wawili

    Kila la heri kaka,changanya na zako manake waangaliaji wa mpira huwa tunaujua kuliko kocha...
     
  16. K

    Kanyafu Nkanwa JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Siyo lazima ratiba zifanane. Kwa mfano, wote Ni marubani hamuwezi rusha ndege moja kila siku! Kuna kitu zaidi ya hicho anacholalamikia huyu jamaa. Nina wasi wasi kapoteza control ya familia....... na njia rahisi ni kupiga chini mke kama hakuna suluhu.
     
  17. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 26, 2010
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    dah pole sana mkuu.....@ baba enock.....ukimshauri jamaa ahame kumbuka kuna hako ka kiumbe cha miezi minne....kwa umri wake mama ni muhimu zaidi kwa sasa......majaribu mengine ya dunia bana.....ndugu mnyalu muombe muumba akupiganie
     
  18. m

    matambo JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 26, 2010
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    siamini kama mwanamke mwenye kuiheshimu ndoa yake anaweza kufanya hayo pasi na sababu za msingi, ijapo haiingii akilini mwanamke afanye kazi kiasi hicho kisha ashindwe kulea watoto wake mwenyewe!! MBAYA zaidi ashindwe kutoa financial assistance kwa familia

    hapo ndipo unapokuja kugundua hekima ya talaka , kama haijali familia yake wana ndugu na watoto waliotoka tumboni mwake mwenyewe ina maana hata Mungu hayumo moyoni mwake, sasa mwanamke kama huyu wa nini akupe presha? kama ni veve mnyalukolo mlekage ela huyoo, mbona wanawake wolofu hela?kumbi kiki?? akuulaga huyoooooo!!!!

    kwanza hwe vahehe twi polygamists ha ha ha haaaaaa!!!
     
  19. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 26, 2010
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    Pretty,

    Hii ndoa mbona ilishabomoka siku nyingi? Wenye makengeza tumeshaona kuwa hapo bwana hakuna ndoa tena.

    Hata hivyo, wanaweza kujaribu kuijenga upya ila dalili hizo alizozitaja mleta mada ni terminal...Uwezekano wa kuboa nyumba wakawagana fito ndio mkubwa zaidi kuliko kuunga unga na kuziba nyufa!

    Ret. Maj Gen. DC(1947)
     
  20. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 27, 2010
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    mmh kwa kweli inasikitisha,jee mwanaume hapo akioa house girl atalaumika?namuhurumia huyo mtoto mdogo,kwa nini wake sometimes wanajisahau?hata ukiona mwanamume kasema ujue amechoshwa hasa.
     
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