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Mambo ya mila yananinyima usingizi....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Nyadhiwa, Jul 24, 2010.

  1. Nyadhiwa

    Nyadhiwa JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Nahitaji ushauri wenu wana JF, mimi nina rafiki ambaye tulifahamiana toka niko sekondari kama family friend. Tulipoteana kwa muda wa miaka 8 hivi kisha tukaaza kuwasiliana tena mwaka huu (family friendship) tukaaza kuwa na mawasilanao ya kimapenzi ingawa tuko mabara tofauti tukitafuta elimu. Tunapendana sana na ameamua kuniomba afanye taratibu za kuoana ili tukirudi tu Tanzania tuoane.

    Niliamua kuuliza nyumbani (Aunt yangu) kama tunaweza kuoana na huyo kijana nikajibiwa kuwa huyo kijana ndo awaulize wakubwa wa kwao. Tatizo ni kwamba inasemekana kwa mila zetu, haturuhusiwi kuoana watu tunaotokea eneo moja nami hizo mila sizijui, naye anasisitiza kuwa inawezekana, sasa ooooooh hata sijui nifanyeje hapa make sijampata mwingine ila yeye.

    Msaada tafadhali
     
  2. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 24, 2010
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    pole, lakini sikiliza

    unavijua vikwazo vya ndoa yeyote ile....? kwa ufupi tu ni kwamba, kama huyo kijana sio kaka yako wa damu, sio binamu, sio mjombako, sio shemeji yako......basi we endelea na maandalizi ya harusi..in fact kwa mila zetu huwa tunachangia harusi so lete kadi hapa siye tuje tule mchele
     
  3. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 24, 2010
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    pole sana...lakini kwani mkioana nini kitatokea?...hayo ni mambo ya kizamani kama mnapendana mimi sioni tatizo.....oaneni
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #4
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Kama inawezekana au haiwezekani kwa mujibu wa mila zenu, mimi ushauri wangu kwako ni zitupilie mbali hizo mila zisizo na kichwa wala miguu. Kama ninyi si ndugu wa damu na mmefikiana sioni ubaya wowote wa ninyi kutokufanya kile ambacho mioyo yenu inataka.

    Haya mamila ya Kiafrika bana aaaah....wewe watu wanaoana na mabinamu zao huko Mashariki ya kati sembuse ninyi mliotoka eneo moja?

    Fuata mila zilizo na maana. Za kipuuzi zipuuze.
     
  5. Nyadhiwa

    Nyadhiwa JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Hakuna undugu hata kidogo mbali na kuwa baba yangu na kaka yake (marehemu kwa sasa) walikuwa ni marafiki sana
    hali iliyopelekea familia hizi mbili kufahamiana sana na kuwa kama ndugu.
    Hizi mila zimekuwa kikwazo sana hasa ukizingatia hatuzujui vema.
     
  6. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 24, 2010
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    ......Ehhhheee shosty weka mila pembeni wala sio ndugu huyo, kama unampenda na unamuhitaji chukua chako mapema. Mambo ya mila kama hizi yamepitwa na wakati.
     
  7. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Mila nyingine jamani ahhhhh! hazistahili kuendelea kudumishwa kabisa maana zimepitwa na wakati. Kila la heri katika maandalizi ya ndoa yenu. Wakati mwingine inabidi mngangamare ili kuzishinda mila ambazo zimepitwa na wakati.
     
  8. malisak

    malisak JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 24, 2010
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    achana na mila potofu hizo zimeshapitwa na wakati wewe angalia unachopenda(mapenzi) kwanza kama kijana umemridhia mkubalie kwani mnataka kutenda dhambi?,si mnataka kutafuta kheri oaneni na mungu atawalinda na hizo imani,labda kama hujaridhika mwenzoio nilitaka kujinyonga walipokataa niolewe na barafu wa moyo wangu mbona walinikubalia wenyewe.chezea.
     
  9. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 24, 2010
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    Kwa kuwa mila yenyewe huijui sana (maelezo yake na sababu zake), jaribu jkuulizia kule nyumbani wakueleze sababu ya katazo hilo: yawezekana ni sababu nzuri na nzito kabisa, huwezi kujua. Wakishakueleza - ukiona ni sababu isiyo na uzito - unaweza pia kuwaelimisha wazazi na wana-ukoo juu ya kilicho cha kweli: kwamba kutoka sehemu moja si kizuizi cha ndoa kama si undugu wa damu. Wakikuelewa utakuwa umepata pasi ya kuingia ndoa bila bughudha au kuwatia simanzi wazazi wako. Huenda katazo hilo linasababishwa na kutaka kuzuia tabia fulani mbovu au ugonjwa fulani wa kurithi ambao eneo lenu upo. Kwa hiyo kwa kutaka kutomeza polepole tatizo hilo wazee wakaweka katazo hilo ili kuwafnya watu wa eneno lenu waende mbali kuoa na kuchanganya damu na watu wengine wasio na athari hizo mbaya za eneo lenu. Huu ni mfano tu.
     
  10. malisak

    malisak JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 24, 2010
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    Hakuna cha mila wala nini na ampe mwenzie kunyimana si vyema
     
  11. Nyadhiwa

    Nyadhiwa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 25, 2010
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    Mtazamo wako ni mzuri...
    Sababu kuu niliyoambiwa ni kutoka sehemu moja tu hakuna lingine.
     
  12. Abdulhalim

    Abdulhalim JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jul 25, 2010
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    Duh, binadamu kweli ni mgumu kumridhisha, mi nilidhani kwa familia kuwa na urafiki ni nafasi nzuri ya kuunganisha urafiki zaidi kwa kuozeshana..lakini kumbe I wasn't smart enough..lol
     
  13. Nyadhiwa

    Nyadhiwa JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 25, 2010
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    Asante NN
    Nitajitaidi ili niweze kukabiliana na hiyo hali kwa maana wamekuwa wakijaribu kunikatisha tamaa sana juu ya huyu kijana.
    MAra waseme kwanza kijana mwenyewe anamaringo, mara mweusi.... wakati mimi hayo hata siyaoni kwa huyu kijana.
    Wanataka tu kuumiza roho yangu make toka nimeambiwa hayo maisha yangu yamekuwa ni magumu sana.
     
  14. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 25, 2010
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    acha na mila, pata kitu roho napenda veve!
     
  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #15
    Jul 25, 2010
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    Sasa hii ya kuwa "mweusi" wanapitiliza. Imekaa kiubaguzi baguzi wa rangi.
     
  16. Da Womanizer

    Da Womanizer JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 26, 2010
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    Ndo maana watu wana-bleach ngozi cku hzi. Yaani huwezi amini watu ujinga umewajaa vichwani unaweza kubaki mdomo wazi halafu sasa unakuta ni mtu ana madigirii kama 100 hvi.
     
  17. K

    Kanyafu Nkanwa JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jul 26, 2010
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    Bleaching noma sana. Inapunguza mvuto ambao ulitegemewa. Kitu black bwana,,, kila kitu black, isipokuwa meno tu, ni mvuto wa hakika hasa. Lakini wako wanaopenda bleach, anyway.

    Na nyie mnaotaka kuoana, mngetiana mimba kwanza, ndo muibikie pale front. Alafu msikilizieni atayekuwa wa kwanza kusema hapana!
     
  18. Gwamahala

    Gwamahala JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jul 27, 2010
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    Angalia hapo kwenye bold dada!
    Wewe umetuambia una miaka nane hujaonana naye afu hata kwa sasa mnakaa mabara tofauti,kuna uwezekano mkubwa kuwa hayo mapungufu wanayokuambia ndugu zako ni ya kweli.Be careful sometimes love can make you BLIND...
     
  19. Mtazamaji

    Mtazamaji JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jul 27, 2010
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    Ukirudi tu hakikisha anakupa mimba kwanza . alafu mambo mengine yatajiset yaani hiyo mimba itwakuwa catalyst ya kuondoa vikwazo.
    Kwa nn wakuchagulie sausage ya kula? Kamata kitu roho inapenda bana

    Sehemu moja ina tatizo gani? Au ndo zile Mila Mfano
    Kwamba labda yeye ni Mjaruo wanahisi hajatahiriwa na wewe labda ni Mkurya ..........
     
  20. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jul 27, 2010
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    Ukifuata mila sana utakuwa huoi/ huolewi.

    Mila nyingine hazitaki uoe karibu na kwenu, nyingine hazitaki uoe mbali na kwenu etc.

    Jambo la kujiuliza ni kwamba, mila hizi zina maana kwako au hazina? Anayeoa/ kuolewa ni wewe, usitake kufuata mila za watu ambao hawatalazimika kuishi na mume/mke wako wakati kwako wewe utakayeishi naye hazi make sense.

    Tunahitaji mila zenye maana, vile vile tunahitaji kuachana na mila zisizo na maana. Na anayetakiwa kuamua ni muoaji/ muolewa, si mwingine yeyote.
     
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