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Mambo ya kuzingatia katika kuchagua mwenzi wa maisha

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Michael Amon, Mar 12, 2012.

  1. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #1
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    Ikiwa wale wanaokusudia kuoana hawataki kuwa na mashaka mengi wala kuwa na mambo kadha wa kadha ya kuwanyima furaha baada ya kufunga ndoa, imewalazimu kufikiria vyema na kwa moyo wote juu ya jambo hili na kwa wakati huu kabla ya kuoana. Ikiwa hatua hii itafanywa kipumbavu, itakuwa mojawapo ya mambo makuu mno yawezayo kuharibu mafao ya mvulana ama msichana wawapo wamekwisha kuoana. Kwao maisha yataonekana kuwa kama mzigo wa laana. Kaitka ulimwengu huu hakuna awezaye kumnyima mwanamke furaha, ama kumharibia maisha na kufanya yamuelemee na kumchoma moyo zaidi ya mumewe; na hali kadhalika hakuna mwenye uwezo wa kupooza matumaini na jitihada za mwanaume na kuposha nguvu zake, kuharibu mvuto wake na maendeleo yake zaidi ya mkewe. Mara nyingi ni tangu dakika ile baada ya harusi ambapo maisha huanza kuwaelemea wanawake na wanaume wengi. Ndoa ni jambo ambalo lina mvuto katika ulimwengu huu, na litakuwa na mvuto katika ulimwengu ujao pia.

    Wengi hawaelewi vyema muungano huu wa ndoa. Wengi wao hudhani ya kwamba, muungano huu ni mojawapo ya njia ya kufikia upeo wa furaha; lakini laiti wangefahamu kiasi kidogo tu cha uchungu walionao wale waliounganishwa kwa kiapo cha ndoa ambacho kimewafunga kwa minyororo wasiyothubutu kuikata, hawangeshangaa kwa maelezo haya. Ndoa nyingi zinazofungwa huwa ni mkatale wa huzuni. Kuna maelfu ya watu waliounganishwa katika ndoa lakini hawapatani.

    Wale wanaofikiria kuoa ama kuolewa ni lazima wajishauri vyema kuhusu hali na mwenendo wa ndoa wanayokusudia kuwa nayo. Ni lazima vijana wafanye uchunguzi wa kutosha katika mambo yanayohusu kuchagua mpenzi na kufanya uchumba. Ewe kijana mwenzangu, jihadhari ili kile unachodhania kuwa ni dhahabu ama lulu safi kisije kikawa takataka tu. Jambo hili halipaswi kufanywa haraka. Wakati ungali bado unaweza kupenda, jihadhari usije ukapenda kama kipofu.

    Fikiria sana uone kama maisha yako na yule unayemchagua kuwa mwenzi wako wa maisha yatakuwa ya furaha ama ya kutopatana na kuhuzunisha baada ya harusi. Wanawake na wanaume wengi wameoana kana kwamba jambo la pekee lililowapasa kulijali ni kuwa wanapendana au la. Kuchagua mwenzi wa maisha kwafaa kufanywa kwa busara ili kuwawezesha wazazi na watoto pia, kuwa na hali nzuri kiroho, kiakili na kimwili.

    Mambo ya kuzingatia katika kuchagua msichana wa maisha
    Kijana wa kiume unapaswa uchague msichana ambaye atasiamama kando yake na ambaye ataweza kuchukua sehemu ya mzigo wa maisha yake, mke ambaye mvuto wake utamfanya mumewe na heshima na kumwezesha kuwa na mwenendo mwema, na ambaye kwa jili ya upendo wake, atamfanya kuwa na raha maishani mwake.

    Ewe kijana wa kiume na mwanaume mwenzangu naomba ujishauri kwa uangalifu mkubwa kuhusu mambo haya yafuatayo na bila shaka kama yakizingatiwa kwa umakini yatakuwa msaada mkubwa kwako wewe mvulana mwenye nia ya dhati ya kuoa;

    • Je huyo unayekusudia kumuoa atafanya nyumba yenu iwe ya furaha?
    • Je yeye ni mwangalifu awezaye kutunza mali, ama akishaolewa hatapoteza mapato yenu tu bali pia atazitawanya mali zenu huku akionyesha upendo wa juu juu tu?
    • Je huyo unayemtaka awe mwenzi wako ana hofu na kumcha Mungu?
    • Je ana afya njema?
    • Je ana bidii katika kazi?
    • Je msafi wa kimwili na kiroho?
    • Je ni mlevi?
    • Je ni mtii, mnyenyekevu na mwenye adabu?
    • Je anajiheshimu na kuvaa mavazi yenye heshima?
    • Je ni mwaminifu?
    • Je ni mtu anayetunza siri katika uhusiano wenu?
    • Je ni mkristo, mpagani au mwislamu mwenzangu?
    • Je mwenendo na tabia yake ikoje kwa wakati huu?

    Nafahamu kwamba mvulana ambaye ametumbukia katika kisima cha mapenzi atayadharau maswali haya kana kwamba hayana maana wala manufaa yoyote, lakini hayana budi kufikiriwa kwa umakini na kwa ungalifu mkubwa zaidi.

    Wakati wa kuchagua mke, tafakari na uelewe tabia na mwenendo wale, uone kama atakuwa mstahimilivu na mwenye bidii. Uone kama atachoka kuwatunza wazazi wako walo wazee wakati ule ambao watahitaji msaada wako. Uone kama atakushawishi utengane nao na kukushawishi umpende yeye peke yake na kusahau baba na mama ambao badala ya kupata binti watakuwa wamempoteza mwana.

    Mambo ya kuzingatia katika kuchagua mvulana wa maisha
    Kabla msichana hajatoa mkono wake kwa mvulana na kuvishwa pete ya uchumba, kwanza na ajiulize kama yule mvulana wanayekaribia kuoana anafaa ama vipi. Mwenedo wake na tabia yake ya siku zilizopita ulikuwa wa namna gani? Je maisha yake ni masafi? Je upendo akuonyeshao unatoka moyoni na unaonyesha heshima na tabia njema ama ni upendo wa hivi hivi tu? Je anao mwendendo ambao utanifanya kuwa na furaha? Mimi kama mke nitaweza kuwa na furaha niwapo kwake? Je ataniruhusu kudumisha tabia yangu na kunipa uhuru ama itanilazimu kutupilia mbali yote na kufuata matakwa yake? Maswali kama haya yakizingatiwa kwa busara yatakuwa na manufaa sana katika maisha yajayo ya msichana ambaye anatarajia kuolewa.

    Kila msichana anayetamani kuwa na familia yenye furaha na amani, ambayo haitakuwa na udhaifu wala huzuni katika siku za baadae na ajiulize maswali haya kabla ya kutoa ukubali wake wa upendo.

    • Je huyo unayemtaka awe mwenzi wako ana hofu na kumcha Mungu?
    • Je ana afya njema?
    • Je ana bidii katika kazi?
    • Je msafi wa kimwili na kiroho?
    • Je ni mlevi?
    • Je ni mtii, mnyenyekevu na mwenye adabu?
    • Je anajiheshimu na kuvaa mavazi yenye heshima?
    • Je ni mwaminifu?
    • Je ni mtu anayetunza siri katika uhusiano wenu?
    • Je ni mkristo, mpagani au mwislamu mwenzangu?
    • Je mpenzi wangu anaye mama?
    • Je tabia ya mama yake ikoje?
    • Je anatambua wajibu wake kwa mamaye?
    • Je anajali upendo na furaha ya mama yake?
    • Ikiwa hajali wala hamheshimu mama yake, kweli ataweza kuonyesha heshima na upendo, wema na usikivu kwa mkewe?
    • Je harusi itakapokwisha atakuwa na huruma kwa makosa yangu ama atakuwa ananikosoa mara kwa mara huku akiwa mgomvi na mkali?

    Katika kuyajibu maswali haya shauklu nyingi yaweza kupishia mbali makosa na kasoro za mchumba wako, lakini upendo wa kweli hautaficha neno. Katika kuchagua mwenzi wa maisha, msichana na achague mvulana mwenye tabia na mwenendo safi wa kibinadamu, aliye na bidii, mwangalifu, mwenye heshima na aliye mwaminifu na mnyofu.

    Ikiwa umefanya uchumba na mtu ambaye huelewi vyema tabia yake, usidhani kushika uchumba kutakulazimisha kuchukua kiapo cha ndoa na kuungana na mtu ambaye humpendi na ambaye wala hutamheshimu maishani mwako. Jihadhari sana unapofanya uchumba wenye masharti; lakini hata ukiwa ni uchumba wenye masharti, ni bora mara kumi kuuvunjilia mbali huo uchumba kabla ya kufunga ndoa kuliko kuja kuvunja ndoa baadae kama wengi wafanyavyo.

    Written & Prepared by:
    Young Master
     
  2. King Kong III

    King Kong III JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    Weka source ya hio kitu,bado haujapata upeo wa kuandika makitu kama hayo!!
     
  3. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #3
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    Umdhaniae siye kumbe ndiye. Kama huamini ni mimi ndiye niliyeandika, search on the google uone kama utapata kitu kama hiki. Dont judge a book by its cover.
     
  4. Reserved

    Reserved Content Manager Staff Member

    #4
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    Appreciate
    Umejitahidi kuandika

    Asante sana
     
  5. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #5
    Mar 12, 2012
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    You are welcome
     
  6. Aisha Adam

    Aisha Adam JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Thanks kwa somo nafikiri litafaa kwa yule atakae lielewa na kulifanyia kazi
     
  7. rifwima

    rifwima JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    Good and contented! Nimejifunza kitu mpwa! Hongera sana.
     
  8. P

    Pokola JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    You are trying to be a theorist. With many emotional gaps in your boyish composition above, I perceive you as an erratic and immature author.

    However, keep trying.
    :scared:
     
  9. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #9
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    U are welcome. Nadhani itapendeza zaidi kama wewe ndio ukiwa wa kwanza kulifanyia kazi
     
  10. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #10
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    Nobody can become mature without being an immature
     
  11. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #11
    Mar 12, 2012
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    Asante sana mkuu.
     
  12. mkonowapaka

    mkonowapaka JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    una miaka mingapi.umeoa?? na je umejifunza kutokana na 'makosa' au ndivyo ulivyoelimishwa kabla................maana uzoefu wangu unaonyesha 'yaliowashinda' huwa wazuri saaana kushauri....hehehe source kaka yangu
     
  13. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #13
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    Mpaka sasa sijaoa mkuu. Na elimu hii ya mapenzi nilikuwa nayo tokea zamani ambapo niliipata elimu hii kutokana na kujivunza, kufanya uchunguzi na kusoma vitabu vingi vya mapenzi. Mwanzoni nilikuwa daktari na mwalimu wa mapenzi ambapo nilikuwa nikitoa elimu na ushauri wa mapenzi kwa watu wa rika zote ila niliamua kuacha kazi hiyo miaka miwili iliyopita baada ya kuzidiwa na majukumu.
     
  14. mgeni10

    mgeni10 JF-Expert Member

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    Young _ Master Mbona unapigana vita ambayo haipo???

    Usirushe ngumi Hewani Hakuna adui huko

    Sema tu Hakuna chanzo ila Nimeshushiwa na Mungu niwape wengine, Inatosha
     
  15. K

    Kuchayaa Senior Member

    #15
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    Good Job mwanawane, keep it up!
     
  16. c

    cheseo Member

    #16
    Mar 12, 2012
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    We noma,mpe huyo mshamba hajielewi
     
  17. D

    DOMA JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    We umeoa?
     
  18. N

    NGENDA NGOLOMA Member

    #18
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    It's good analysis dogo. Make sure that u make what u trust
     
  19. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

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    Ha ha haaaa!! Sawa sawa mkuu. Nimekupata.
     
  20. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

    #20
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    Thnx mwanawane. I will keep up the good job i have started
     
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