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Mambo 10 usiyotakiwa kuyafanya kitandani

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mwana Mpotevu, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #1
    Sep 18, 2012
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    Nimeyaiba sehemu. Haya ni mambo kumi ambayo hutakiwi kuyafanya kitandani. Lipi hukubaliani nalo kati ya haya? Nimeona niwaletee kama ilivyo bila kuchakachua

    Things you should never do in bed: Cry
    Even if youfind sex a beautifully moving experience or you're feeling really sad, there isno excuse for crying during sex; even if it is just one, silent tear. Crying inbed makes your partner uncomfortable and it also will make them question theirabilities in bed. Plus, crying is not sexy and makes even the best looking manor woman unattractive.

    Things you should never do in bed: Laugh
    Even thoughsex is really, really funny one of the worst things you can do in bed is laugh.You really shouldn't laugh when someone takes their clothes off, or laugh whenthey try to talk dirty. You shouldn't laugh when they do that weird orgasm faceor when they attempt to do a sexy, provocative dance. If you feel like you wantto laugh, think of very sad thoughts because as soon as you let out thesmallest of smiles you've smashed any trust and self-confidence your partnerhad.

    Things you should never do in bed: Check the clock
    Remember,when you're in the midst of a night of passion keep your eyes locked on theaction. Never, ever dare to check you watch or clock; even if sex feels like itis going on for an eternity and you have a really early meeting booked in fortomorrow morning. If you're struggling to stay focused, try giving theminstructions on how to spice up the sex.

    Things you should never do in bed: Compare
    Imagine thatthe guy or girl you really liked was finally in your bed naked and as you startto pull out your best moves, they say to you, ‘Oh, my ex didn't do it like thatand they were really good in bed'. Ouch, it'd be like a verbal arrow to yourego. Try to keep any comparisons outside the bedroom as they have noconstructive place between the sheets.

    Things you should never do in bed: First timeconfession
    There isnothing wrong with being a virgin and you should definitely tell the personyou're planning on sleeping with that you haven't done the deed before.However, you should never tell them during sex. It can be a bit of a blow andit is definitely something you need to discuss before.

    Things you should never do in bed: Plan your dinner
    Although sexcan become a little repetitive, don't plan your dinner whilst you're doing itwith your guy or girl. They will know that you're not concentrating on the jobin hand. When someone's mind is elsewhere we all instinctively sense their lackof focus and realising that you're boring your partner when having sex iscrushing.

    Things you should never do in bed: Fart
    It is neverokay to fart during sex. It is one of the most unattractive things you can everdo, whether you're a guy or a girl. Even if you think its okay to let ripbecause you think this one is going to be silent, remember the aftermath andthat lingering smell. Avoid passing wind at all costs if you want to avoidbeing kicked out of bed.

    Things you should never do in bed: Check Twitter
    Unfortunately,you can't get away with checking your Twitter account whilst having sex. Evenif you're doing the reverse cowgirl and you think you can get a sneaky peak onyour phone, you will get caught and be promptly dismissed from the bedroom.Just think, the more you concentrate and participate in sex the quicker you canget back to the Twitter-sphere; #missedyoutwitter.

    Things you should never do in bed: Impersonate
    The bedroomis not the place for jokes or impersonations. Although we know that you meantyour impersonation of their sex face to be funny, the chances are the otherperson will take offence and you'll have an unhappy, upset and potentiallydeflated guy or girl on your hands. Take our advice and leave theimpersonations for dinner parties and talent shows.

    Things you should never do in bed: Pressure
    Although youcan laugh off most embarrassing moments and mishaps that happen during sex,pressuring someone into doing something they don't want to do is unforgiveableand not funny. Sex is a sensitive issue and everyone is different when it comesto doing new or adventurous things in bed. Always ask how the other personfeels about something and never, ever pressure someone when you're in bed.
     
  2. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #2
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    Nimeipenda hii ya DON'T FART ingawa najua huwa inakuja automatically na hasa shughuli ikiwa pevu sana
     
  3. awp

    awp JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    teh teh wengi hufanya ndio sehemu ya kupeana story za kazini au bar why why why???? na hii huwa inaniboa "ya ku-compare"
     
  4. Njowepo

    Njowepo JF-Expert Member

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    Kiingeleza soo kumbe Fart ni Kujamba sasa jamani mbona iyo huja kama reflex action yaani huwa unakuwa hauna control!
     
  5. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #5
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    very true, hata mie inanikera sana hii
     
  6. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #6
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    ni kweli hii kitu ingawa INADAIWA walioharibika 0713 ndio huwa hawana control 100%. I stand to be corrected
     
  7. Prisoner 46664

    Prisoner 46664 JF-Expert Member

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    ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa......this should be reaaaaaaaaly funny!!!..au pia kama ukimaliza kazi halafu hii ndiyo reaction yake...ha ha ha haaaaaa
     
  8. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

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    duh yaani umalize shughuli halafu ukaangua kicheeeekooooo mtu anaweza akavaa nguo na kuondoka bila hata kuaga maana atajua umemdharau to the maximum
     
  9. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

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    Yote yanategemea mazingira, ukaribu mlio nao, uelewa wa partner etc. Vingine vinatokea tu, hasa hiyo laugh (ingawa sio for the reasons cited there). Some of the prescriptions are not always applicable.
    • If you hired somebody to provide the service and you go about it in a "professional way", it is normal to compare in order to appreciate the value of the service and price it accordingly.
    • If it was under some "funny circumstances" you won't keep a poker face: laugh if you feel like it.
    • if it is too emotional, just cry, kwani vipi?
    • Farting: if it is not intentional there is nothing you can do about it, so just don't do it, but relax.
    • If impersonations were not right sijui role plays zingekuaje this popular!
    • Pressure (in the sense of forcing people to do things): hii ni preference ya watu bwana, let partners decide as they get there... wengine wanapenda wengine hawapendi...
    [​IMG] (Courtesy of Abdulhalim)

    As absolute DONTs naona it is just too much, but as general rules, they are fine.
     
  10. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #10
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    I tend to differ in this point. Personally, huwa simuamini mtu anayelia mapenzini naamini ANANIDANGANYA in whatever situation!! Ni msimamo wangu binafsi naamini sio wote wenye kuamini hili
     
  11. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

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    And that is the point: wewe unaweza kusema hivo na mngine akasema yakimzidi anajikuta tu katoa machozi, au tena akimliza partner ndio anaona amemfikisha alikotaka afike. It is a matter of predispositions, and preference. there is no absolute wrong or right.
    Pamoja na kwamba faking is not advisable, kumbuka acting sio kujitungia, ni ku-imitate what generally (or sometimes) happens for real. So if people fake some tears, there must be some genuine tears that roll somewhere.
     
  12. lara 1

    lara 1 JF-Expert Member

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    Something You should definately do!!! OMBA PESA AMBAYO MDA WOWOTE MWNINGINE UKIOMBA NI FLAT CONSTANT NO ila hapo utashangaa unapewa BIG YEEES! Tena una time ile anakaribia mwisho!!!!!! Angalizo! Ukiomba kabla mambo hayajaanza unaweza kumfanya mtu avae na kusepa zake, na story iishie hapo! Ukiomba baada imekula kwako, coz jibu ni NO!
     
  13. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    na wewe uko kwenye the oldest profession?
     
  14. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #14
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    hahahahahahahaha umenichekesha sana lol, kwangu mie ukiomba kabla, wakati au baada inaweza ikala kwako pia. ukitumia tu sex kama chambo kwangu kupata kitu basi hesabu maumivu
     
  15. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    hapa sasa mnataka kutukosesha wengine raha!kha masheria kibao kwani ile kitu ni school of law jamani ah!
     
  16. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    sasa ku fart nayo ujizuie?
    ukijiumiza bure?
     
  17. lara 1

    lara 1 JF-Expert Member

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    Nooooo! Ila si unajua usione vyaelea vimeundwaa! Sasa bila kukaba mpaka penalt unazani less wigi utavaaa! Thubutuuu! Ndo kama hivo mzizi mkavu alivosema ukifubaa tu mkitoka na Mr. ujue ndo unatambulishwa kama Dada! Mi wa kale sana i believe a man should take care of the woman. Sasa mkizoeana hela inakuwa haitoki bila kutumia mbinu za kivita kama hiyo! Ukingoja kuomba wkt anatoka utastuka katoka kitambooo!
     
  18. lara 1

    lara 1 JF-Expert Member

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    Kwenye mbinu hiyo hapo juu U GOT NO CHOICE!!!! ukininyima hiyo hela game itaishia juu ya shuka
     
  19. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    unanifanya nijione very old fashioned
    wa kwangu nawapa bila vita....wala ugomvi lol
     
  20. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    lara 1 nimejikuta nacheka tu na hili,sasa we huwa unachukua chako mapemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
     
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