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Machine Diagnosis

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by HorsePower, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    Jun 24, 2011
    Joined: Aug 22, 2008
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    Machine Diagnosis

    One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
    His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
    Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
    Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
    The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

    1. You have tennis elbow.
    2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
    3. It will be better in two weeks.......

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
    He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
    He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

    1. Your tap water is too hard.
    2. Get a water softener.
    3. Your dog has ringworm.
    4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    5. Your daughter is using cocaine.
    6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
    7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.
  2. Mzee Dogo

    Mzee Dogo JF-Expert Member

    Jun 25, 2011
    Joined: Nov 13, 2010
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    Mmmh, kweli kali- ya mwisho ndo tiba yake hasa
  3. Jaluo_Nyeupe

    Jaluo_Nyeupe JF-Expert Member

    Jun 26, 2011
    Joined: Dec 21, 2010
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    hahahaaaa!!! Kweli hiyo computer haidanganyiki.
  4. Tanganyika1

    Tanganyika1 JF-Expert Member

    Jun 26, 2011
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  5. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

    Jun 26, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
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    he deserved it, LOL............
  6. chapaa

    chapaa JF-Expert Member

    Jun 27, 2011
    Joined: Feb 19, 2008
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    Duh hiyo computer kiboko
  7. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    Jun 27, 2011
    Joined: Aug 31, 2009
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    Ahahahaaah!! Hii kiboko kwa kweli...
  8. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    Jun 27, 2011
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    Kiboko zaidi ya lolilo