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Maamuzi/Kwanini???

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Jun 24, 2010.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 24, 2010
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    ...Kwanini kwenye mapenzi, watu huamua kabla ya kufikiri badala ya kufikiri kabla ya kuamua?

    mfano mzuri ni wale 'wanaojutia' kuolewa/kumuoa fulani, na utawasikia wengi na misemo ya "... alificha tu makucha yake!", "...chui ndani ya ngozi ya kondoo!",

    Why? kwanini MAPENZI NI UPOFU???




     
  2. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    upofu mkubwa, japo mie cjawahi kujutia kwa huyu kichaa wangu, lakini nawajua wengi wanaojutia sana, humu ndani walivyotegemea iwe imekuwa sivyo kabisa...ndoa zimekuwa ndoano.
     
  3. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #3
    Jun 24, 2010
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    Taratibu Nyamayao! ukipewa talaka usije kuomba ushauri hapa....LOL
    ...........mimi nadhani wengi wetu ni wavivu wa kufikiri na hatufikirii kama wenza wetu wanafaa kuwa wa maisha au wa muda tu.
     
  4. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Nijuavyo mimi ni kwamba mtu huanza kumpenda mwenzie wa jinsia tofauti kwa kuvutiwa na vitendo vyake vya 'kuonekana' kwa macho kwa wakati ule, pamoja na sura au mtazamo wa maumbile!...Vitu hivyo tu vyatosha kumfanya mtu(one party, or both) kupenda sana, na hata wakati mwingine kuingia mkataba wa kudumu wa kuishi pamoja(kutangaza nia)!...Reasoning au rationing katika mapenzi mapya hupewa nafasi kidogo(kama itatokea at all)!..ndio maana hata masuala kama ya utumizi wa condom kati ya wapenzi wawili wawapo chumbani huishia kuwa ndoto, maana hakuna reasoning tena!...Sababu nionavyo mimi ni kwamba kwenye masuala ya MWANZO wa mapenzi, moyo unakuwa na nguvu zaidi na kuzi'overshadow' akili!...Nimesema ' MWANZO' WA MAPENZI tu ndiko moyo HUTAWALA, na mwishoni akili ndipo huja, na utamsikia mtu akisema 'najuta"...All in all, kujuta mi pia naona sio suluhisho, bali cha kufanya ni kuanza kuchukuliana kitabia, na kutengeneza muundo mpya wa mapenzi!
     
  5. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 24, 2010
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    hilo jina kwetu lipo shwari tu, mana ndio ukweli wenyewe...lol
     
  6. Egyps-women

    Egyps-women JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 24, 2010
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    Haya mambo yapo kuna watu wanalia kilio cha kusaga meno
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 24, 2010
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    PJ, kwakweli hapo kwenye suala la kujuta sio suluhisho wengi wanaugulia hapo. Hata ukijipa moyo, reality strikes home, "...Ushalikoroga, yakupasa ulinywe tu!"

    ...hawakukosea waliosema
    • first marriage is a triumph of imagination over intelligence
    • second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, while..
    • third marriage is utterly stupidity!

     
  8. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #8
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    Hee Mbu La aziz mie hata sijui nichangie nini hapa... Issue ni kuwa unapoanza mapenzi huwa tunapofushwa na ile imani kuwa this is the perfect for me yaani hata akikosea kwa siku zile za mwanzo unaona ni bahati mbaya tu.... na ukichangia unampenda na akiomba msamaha ah mara moja unasamehe na kusahau huweki kwenye 'caution room' ambayo unapaswa kuiwekea alarm ya kukukumbusha kila siku kuwa makini na mtu wako until hapo utakapoprove kuwa yeye ni 'mwema' kwako if you know what am saying......

    Kuna alosema love is not bling but the people in love are the ones who are blind--- sasa huu upofu sijui wasababishwa na nini!!
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 24, 2010
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    Kwakweli sweetheart,

    ..ha ha ha, perfect match, as if ni jigsaw!....
    hapo uliposema siku za mwanzo kukosea na kuombana msamaha na kusameheana ni kawaida,....lakini maisha yakishachosha utasikia mtu anasema "ndio kawaida yako!"...

    Mimi nadhani aliyeanzisha IMANI hii ya mapenzi kwakweli ana kesi kubwa kwa Mw'Mungu. Unaamini pale tu unapotaka kuamini, lakini moyo ukigoma hata mtu anywe sumu huamini ng'ooo!...

    Kuna haja kujadili upya kwanini watu wanaoane. Mapenzi pekee si kigezo cha kufanya watu waoane. kuna sababu nyingine nyingi nje ya mapenzi! Wanaosingizia kuachana sababu eti "mapenzi yamekwisha!" mara nyingi si kweli. Mapenzi hayaishi bana,....Mapenzi ni Imani tu... Maamuzi ndio yanabadilika.
     
  10. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #10
    Jun 24, 2010
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    Kweli Kabisa Mbu mapenzi ni maamuzi ya kuamua muwa na mtu na yanapobadilika yanabadilika si kuwa mapenzi yamekwisha! kuna sehemu niliwahi kusema mapenzi ni Imani tu- kama ilivyo imani ya dini ya mtu. Unaamini kuwa mwenzio anakupenda ila hina uhakika wa kweli (tangible) kuwa anakupenda kweli au kwa kiasi gani. Tofauti yetu na imani ya dini kuwa, kwenye mapenzi tumepewa fursa ya kuyashuhudia matendo ya mtu na hivyo kuiweka imani yetu juu ya matendo ya mwenzi wako. Kuwa unajudge kuwa anakupenda kwa kuangalia matendo yake kwako kitu ambacho hakipo katika imani ya kidini.
     
  11. klorokwini

    klorokwini JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 24, 2010
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    kiongozi!

    tamaa,hamu,ashki vinapotawala saikolojia ya mtu hapo kinachofuata ni "mafuriko ya hisia" , na mafuriko ya hisia yakitokea yanapelekea "total collapse" ya "thinking administration" hii thinking administration inapofeli ,tegemea "wrong" kuonekana "right" ndio katika steji hii unasikia Baba kibosile kabaka mbuzi (hii ni worst case kuliko kuowa usiempenda)

    SOURCE: mwalimu wangu wa "elimu ya jamii" darasa la saba.
     
  12. M

    Mokoyo JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 24, 2010
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    Ndio maana mapenzi yanafananishwa na kizunguzungu au kifafa. Hayaana fomula yenye mantiki ambayo huzalisha jibu sahihi
     
  13. chloe.obrain

    chloe.obrain JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 24, 2010
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    nimeyapenda hayo maneno yenye rangi ya blue.
     
  14. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 24, 2010
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    ...lakini hata kwenye imani za kidini si unaona mtu anafunga (iwe ramadhan/kwaresma) mpaka mnamhurumia, anahakikisha wote mnamuona anavyokwenda kusali, anatoa zaka/sadaka mpaka magazetini anaandikwa,...lakini pia sio kigezo cha kupima imani yake kiukweli? ....

    Mapenzi ni the same. Mtu anaoa kwa fahari, maisha yao "yanaonekana" ni raha tupu, ...siku ukiyasikia yanayotokea ndani ya hiyo ndoa utachoka mwenyewe!
     
  15. B

    Bobby JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 24, 2010
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    Nyamayao,of recently comments zako zimekuwa zikiniacha hoi sana. Yaani imefika stage hata kuacha kuzisoma imekuwa ngumu kama ilivyo matajiri kuingi mbinguni wew kweli ni Nyamayao.

    Sorry nirudi kwenye mada. Kuna kitu kimoja nadhani watu wengi hawakijuwi. Ni kwamba mapenzi ni spiritual or emotional inadepend na sio swala la akili kwani akili ni physical. Sasa kunapokuwa na conflict kati ya deeply rooted emotions kama mapenzi na logic ambayo ni akili mara nyingi though si mara zote akili hushindwa.

    Hapa ndipo issue ya mapenzi inakuwa very complicated. Infact mara nyingi hata watu wanaposemaga fulani kawekewa dawa mara nyingine wala si dawa ni psychology tu. Anyway kwa bahati mimi naamini Mungu so ni issue ya kumwomba Mungu unapofanya decisions kwa ajili ya life partner akuongoze kwa right person of course haimaanishi kwamba hakutakuwa na differences big NO, zitakuwapo lakini ni bearable or reconcilable.
     
  16. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 24, 2010
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    ...ha ha ha, kufa hawafi lakini cha moto wanakiona. Kwani Nyamayao, 'wengi' mategemeo yao ni nini kwenye hizi ndoano??? si ndio kujitia upofu kwenyewe huko ama? ha ha ha...wewe kweli ni gwiji!
     
  17. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 25, 2010
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    Mkuu Mbu hakuna ndoa ambayo iko 100% perfect. Kila mwanandoa angependa baadhi ya mambo yawe tofauti na yalivyo ndani ya ndoa yake. Pamoja na kuwa hakuna ndoa perfect kuna wanandoa wengine ukiwauliza je kama binadamu tungekuwa na uwezo wa kurudisha nyuma wakati na kupewa tena nafasi nyingine ya kuamua kumuoa/kuolewa na mwenzio je bado ungefanya uamuzi ule ule au ungeruka kimanga na kutamka HELL TO THE NO THE NO! Mimi niolewe/nimuoe tena huyu mwenzangu baada ya kufahamu hizi tabia zake za ajabu ajabu? Nikifanya hivyo nitakuwa mpumbavu wa hali ya juu na wapo wana ndoa wengine ambao watasema pamoja na matatizo yake huyu mke/mume wangu hata kama tungekuwa na uwezo huo wa kurudisha nyuma wakti bado ningeamua kumuoa/kuolewa naye. Hivyo kundi hili ni lile ambalo lilikuwa makini na kufikiri kwa kina kabla ya kufanya maamuzi ya kuoa/kuolewa.

     
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