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LOVE, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE...Must read!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MAMMAMIA, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. MAMMAMIA

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 15, 2011
    Joined: Feb 26, 2008
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    Find few minutes to read this beautiful story...It´s never late, you can save your relationship!

    When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

    Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

    I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Sara. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

    With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Sara so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

    The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Sara.

    When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

    In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

    This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
    She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

    I told Sara about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

    My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

    On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

    On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Sara about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

    She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

    Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

    Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

    But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
    I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Sara opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Sara, I do not want the divorce anymore.

    She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Sara, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
    Sara seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

    At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

    That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
    My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Sara to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

    The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
    Do you have a real hippy marriage?
     
  2. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 15, 2011
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    Aaaaahhh nitarudi nzuri ila duh ndefuuuu mno
     
  3. Negrodemus

    Negrodemus JF Gold Member

    #3
    Mar 15, 2011
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    makala
     
  4. Mtende

    Mtende JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 15, 2011
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    story ina mafundisho mazuri sana for those in marriege,thanks
     
  5. Baba Sharon

    Baba Sharon JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 15, 2011
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    That's so sad!!! ila nimejifunza mengi kutokana na hiyo scene
     
  6. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    a touching scenario!!this wife was tolerant with full of wisdom jamani!nimecheka baba anakumbushwa na mtoto kwenda kumbeba mama without knowing the idea behind!sara amerepresent wengine wanaochangia kuvunja ndoa za watu,,sad part of her though it gives a great lesson,,,,all in all infidelity is an awkwerd thing
     
  7. Kunta Kinte

    Kunta Kinte JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 15, 2011
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    Very touching buddy and educative, nimekugongea thank
     
  8. Da Womanizer

    Da Womanizer JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    Kama ndefu potezea tu, siyo lazima usome kila post.
     
  9. IT Guru

    IT Guru JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    Ngoja npak fresh nakuja :car:
     
  10. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    kweli ana. ila tatizo kwa siku hizi jamani watu wamepuuzia sana ile sense nzima ya mapenzi.wanachokua ni hivi vitu mtoa mada alivyoviita "little things" magari, pesa, nyumba n.k na sio mapenzi.
    asante mta mada.gud lesson for wote waliopo na wasiokuwepo katika ndoa.
     
  11. MAMMAMIA

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    Nimewagongea Thanks wote, waliochangia na waliochungulia. Ingawa hadithi inahusu wana ndoa, lakini mafundisho yake yanawagusa walioko kwenye uhusiano wa kimapenzi na inatugusa sote katika mahusiano yetu ya kijamii.

    Mara nyingi binadamu hatuthamini tulivyonavyo mpaka vimeshatutoka. Kazi, pesa, mahangaiko yanatufanya tusione ukweli unaotuzunguka, badala yake pumbao na wapita njia ndio wanaodhibiti hisia zetu.

    Tusisubiri mpaka dakika za mwisho kutaka kuokoa kisicho okoka. Tusisubiri mpaka dakika ya mwisho kuwajali tunaowapenda, waliotoa kila tone la jasho na damu yao kwetu. Tusisubiri mpaka dakika ya mwisho kulia kilio cha mamba. Tusisubiri mpaka dakika ya mwisho kutamka kwa ulimi, kukiri moyoni na kuonesha kwa vitendo neno moja tu "Nakupenda" kwa wale tunaowajali: mke, mume, mama, baba, mlezi, mwana, rafiki, jirani, mwenzako kazini.
     
  12. Donnah

    Donnah Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. "this is very true story imenihuzunisha ila nimejifunza sana thank you"
     
  13. p

    punainen-red JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 15, 2011
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    Very touching story, thanks nimeipenda.
     
  14. Keren_Happuch

    Keren_Happuch JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    Very touching... na ina vitu vizuri haswa! Small details are very important in a relationship! Thanks Mammamia for posting!
     
  15. tzjamani

    tzjamani JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    Dena acha uvivu, soma hiyo kitu ni tamu but inasikitisha sana. Duh, wengine tuko busy na kazi mpaka tunafuatwa ofisini..........imenigusa sana.
     
  16. IT Guru

    IT Guru JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    awwwh the story is so emotional. Thanx 4 the post mamamia
     
  17. P

    Prime Dynamics JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 15, 2011
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    Surely the story is so emotional. To be sincere there are a number of signs that indicate that a marriage is facing problems. It is up to both parties to recognise them and work towards a resolution. There top things that show a marriage that is turning into a failure, these are communication problems, conflicts, unmet needs, disrespect and lack of trust. Communication is the art of understanding each other in a relationship and this is one of the major catalyst for both parties to keep their bonds strong. Couples should not pile things that will in the end become difficult to solve. Always make it a point to create time to communicate and talk about different issues that have happened, only between the two.
     
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