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Life classic definitions

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Jewel, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. Jewel

    Jewel Senior Member

    #1
    Oct 20, 2011
    Joined: May 1, 2008
    Messages: 149
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 35
    [TABLE="class: yiv834363806MsoNormalTable"]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Cigarette

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Marriage

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Divorce

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]Future tense of marriage

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Lecture

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Conference

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Compromise

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Tears

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Dictionary

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A place where divorce comes before marriage.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Conference Room

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Ecstasy

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Classic

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A book which people praise, but do not read.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Smile

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A curve that can set a lot of things straight

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Office

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Yawn

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Etc...

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Committee

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Experience

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]The name men give to their mistakes.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Atom Bomb

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]An invention to end all inventions.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Philosopher

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Diplomat

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Opportunist

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Optimist

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Pessimist

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Miser

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Father

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A banker provided by nature.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Criminal

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A guy who is no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Boss

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Politician

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence afterwards.

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD="bgcolor: #917357"]Doctor

    [/TD]
    [TD="bgcolor: #e1d8ce"]A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]
     
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