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Life after a very sweet love/relationship

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by TIMING, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Wakuu,

    Many of us have at least once enjoyed the best out of love life... I have had my best moments as well!!

    I am just wondering how can one prepare for a life after the person you have loved and enjoyed life with for 10+ years, have you ever imagined how it feels?

    MTM
     
  2. Nduka

    Nduka JF-Expert Member

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    Mwenzangu, sijui nina tatizo na CL au PL?
     
  3. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Why prepare for an occasion you know nothing about?!

    Unajuaje kama hiyo miaka kumi hutoiona cha mtoto?!Maana unaweza kutana na mtu mwingine ukapata mara mbili au tatu ya furaha/amani/mapenzi uliyopata mwanzo!
     
  4. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Issue hapa ni how to kill all the memories
     
  5. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    ....by finding someone WAAAAAY better!!That outta do it....
     
  6. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Are you thinking of ending a relationship?? Kama umeshaanza kufikiria positive things you have had with the person you are thinking of dropping then don't. Utaendelea kufanya comparison hata upate malaika which will make your new relationship in trouble.
     
  7. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu maisha its about Cherish the Moment... we dont know about tommorrow... Lakini kama imetokea na History was great sioni kwanini utake kuua ile historia...., "Its better to have loved and to lost than never to have loved at all"..., Kwahiyo mkuu those best moments are worth preserving...

    Lakini if you want to kill the Good Memmories (I dont know why you would though...) Just concentrate on the negatives (am sure everyone have them) and time is the best healer.... Don't linger on her if it hurts.... and find someone else who cares because we can all learn to love someone
     
  8. KIWAVI

    KIWAVI JF-Expert Member

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    hapa hujampa inputs, umesema kinachojulikana
     
  9. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #9
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    Kamanda!!!
    why killing the GOOD memories?? ....................... 10 year meeen too good to waste sweetheart really!! Have you ever asked your self how more years you have to go before you die?? what if you kill the 10 years memories and only to die after two years of never gaining even a quarter of what you had in the first year of those 10 years??
    Please I do not know how I can plan to do that .just remember
    Life is a dance, no matter how the song changes, you keep dancing sweetheart!
     
  10. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Unfortunately Good / better people don't grow on trees..., nadhani the best way if you find someone 50% to your liking learn to live with the other 50%....

    As for forgetting the best moments....., I don't think one should.., although when am saying not forgetting I don't mean to live in the past...
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Terrible...Your life will never been the same again.
    Sawa na nguo, endelea kuweka viraka bana.
    Am talking through Experiences.

    Hata ujiandae vipi, huwezi fidia hiyo miaka kumi+ 'unayofikiria' kuitia pipani.
     
  12. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Dah Mbu... Maneno mazito sana

    Lakini kama kawaida, sisi ni human beings and sometimes we got soo sunk into the swamp of love that deep inside you know that, it is slowly developing a monster or a hooligan in you.

    And out of denials, you find yourself becoming mroe "creative" and finally meet the outside world in a very flashy and exciting manner... in the end rather than completeley remembering the primamry role in our love life, we forget all the good work we did and end up craving for more of the "fiesta" we enjoy outside there

    There comes a time where you dont miss the one you love, you dont care, you cant even think of spending time together unless there is a social responisbility around you

    Yet, the pain/struggle in understanding all these lead to a menace........... both ways

    NOW MY DECISION IN THESE CIRCUMNSTANCES WOULD BE TO CALL QUIT... WOULD YOU HANDLE IT DIFFERENTLY?

    I am not speaking from experience but the bad boy in me is strongly advising me to move on... and for now i dont have even 25% of reasons, but just my body and mind dont want to sweat anymore
     
  13. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Mh MTM kaka yangu!! This sounds like a confession to me!! If it is then its too heavy kwangu mie mdogo wako..... Have to rest my case here!
     
  14. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Nope just learning... new baraza in MMU raising the bar on MMU issues as well

    Nothing personal
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    MTM embu kuwa muwazi...what is it really you are trying to tell us?!

    Maana mwanzoni nliona kama unauliza tu hypothetically ila sasa hivi naona kama kuna kitu!

    Hiyo miaka kumi inataka kukatishwa na nini?!Kwanini isiendelee?!

    Wewe ndo mwamuzi au huna uchaguzi?!

    Na kama ndio mwamuzi tunarudi kwenye sababu ...kama haizuiliki/vumiliki basi hauhitaji kujiandaa na kinachokuja kwasababu unachoacha nyuma ni mzigo ulioamua kwamba huwezi kuubeba.Just let it be...forget and move on!!

    Ila kama wewe ulieamua kwamba mwisho umefika hapo ndipo mtihani unakuwepo. Kuzoea kutokua na huyo mtu haitakua rahisi ila fikiria kwamba hutakikaniki tena kwake na uanze upya!Mwisho wa siku “mazoea hujenga tabia.“...utazoea kutokuwepo kwake mwishoni itakua kitu cha kawaida na utasonga mbele.
     
  16. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    If you quit, the day will come when you'll be asking yourself
    that very same question over and over again...!
    I dont advice you to quit! You better take a step back and weigh again your options.
    Planned Separation can be a better 'remedy' before you Call it a Quit!

    Narudia tena bro, achana na mawazo ya "kutema bigijii kwa karanga za kuonjeshwa!"...si ushausikia huu msemo wa kiswahili? It took me almost 5years to recorver from my divorce, and am still collecting pieces...Your life will never be the same Bro. 10years was the time I spent with the mom of my kids [until the divorce]...That hurts, learn it from me bro!
     
  17. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Nothing personal Lizzy but these things are worth exploring.... I am learnign alot from Mbu hapa ameelezea his personal experience

    I am saying this because like any other person, sometime unaona kitu (lets say Movie) au hata matendo fulani and in your reflections, you go deeper in analysis and thoughts kiasi kwamba unaanza na zile "what if" za MJ1

    I have one this time.... In southern hemisphere, watching a movie miles waay outta home, basi nikaanza hayo mawazo

    na yana some elements za experience
     
  18. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

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    Duh... mkuu, proper from the horses mouth

    What if there are irreversbile changes, would push for pain for ages while somehow seeding rage and anger to the children?? Nakumbuka in 2003, there was a Dannish woman who was telling me kwamba had she known earlier imapct ya yeye na mmewe kugombana au kutokua very close, ange-divorce mapema

    She was telling me that his son's dont have love for anyone and they are really phyical to everything
     
  19. BlackBerry

    BlackBerry JF-Expert Member

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    Aisee, kumbe wanaofikia miaka 15 na zaidi ni wa kuwapa heshima, wanasema ndoa inaanza baada ya miaka kumi ya ndoa,hapo ndio mikiki huwa ni mizito, kuchokana, na kila aina ya vituko, but mama angu alinambia, ukiweza tu kuvuka 10- 18 hv, mtihani unakuwa umeupita, the rest itakuwa ni kama marudio then hutaona jipya kwako

    Ushauri wangu kwa kaka MTM jitahidi kutafuta vitu vizuri kwa parter wako ili uweze kuvicherish,hata kama vimebakia kidogo ili usivunje ndoa yako, kwa kuwa nina wasiwasi after 2 yrs ya separation, utakuwa tayari umepata vyote unavyoviona unamiss ukiwa ndoani, then yanaanza majuta, ambayo yatakuwa kwa wakati huo ni mjukuu
     
  20. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    The thing is, I cant even imagine! daamn isitokee kabisa aisee
     
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