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Lesson learned from Nyamayao and Nyumba Kubwa..........What are your Two cents on this ....!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanajamiiOne, Sep 23, 2011.

  1. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #1
    Sep 23, 2011
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    Hivi huyu (nyamayao) mdada yuko wapi siku hizi maana kusema ukweli kuna kitu kikubwa sana nilichojifunza kwake hasa kuhusu nafasi ya mtu katika mahusiano.

    Tangu nimsome nyamayao, mabandiko yote ninayoyasoma ninapata ujumbe unaofanana toka kwake..... kuwa Kila mtu yuko responsible na maumivu ya mapenzi anayoyaexperience kwenye mahusiano yake mf. the plight ya cheating, kuwa mkeo/mumeo akicheat ukajua ni haki yako ku'charuka' kuwa mkali na kudemand explanations/apology n.k. na kuwa siku ukimkuta mwenzi wako anacheat una haki ya kuanzisha varangati na yeye anastahili kuwa calm na kukiri kosa (kama kweli amecheat). Hapa nazungumzia mambo ya nyamayao kakukuta unacheat, .........ni mkeo ana haki ya kufanya chochote na wewe unastahili kuwa mpole tu kwani umemkosea na ana haki ya kuumia na kuexercise hacra zake kwa namna aipendayo nawe hupaswi kumblame/ wala kuwa mkali back.

    So kwa mtizamo wa nyamayao ni kuwa, wewe kama mwanaume/mke ukiruhusu kuonewa kwa kuwa tu unataka kuwe na amani nyumbani, kwa kuwa unataka kuonekana mpole kwenye mahusiano yako kiasi kwamba mwenzio anapokukosea wewe kimahusiano (mf. anapocheat ukafahamu, anapochelewa kurudi nyumbani ukasema niwe mpole, anaposhindwa kutimiza majukumu yake nisimfuatilie HUMSAIDII MWENZI WAKO sanasana unamuharibu na kuipoteza haki yako kwenye nahusiano. Kama mwanamke/mwanaume jua haki yako, jua nini unapaswa kudemand n.k.

    The same message I learned from nyumba kubwa kuwa wanawake/ume wengi hawaijui position yao kwenye mahusiano " Kwenye ile thread iliyohusu ujumbe wa simu ambao ungeukuta kwenye simu ya mumeo......wakati tunasema wengine mie ningeupotezea, e.t.c. nyumba kubwa alikuwa mkali na kusema pasingetosha unless amepewa maelezo ya kina.

    Nimejikuta ninajiuliza swali,
    Hivi nimambo gani hasa kwenye maisha yako wewe mwenzi wako ambayo ana haki ya kuyasimamia kidole gumba na kudemand explanations from you? Issue ambayo yaani ukiuliza asipokupa jibu la kuridhisha au kutokukujibu kabisa unastahili kuwa 'mkali' (kuacha kubembeleza?')

    aksanteni (Niokoeni mwenzenu, maana nahisi nimekuwa mpole sana mwe......)
     
  2. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

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    mmmmh! Mi nikishaona tu mambo yakucheat na akili inahama kabisa!
     
  3. Mamaya

    Mamaya JF-Expert Member

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    Nashauri wapigwe ban manake wanahamasisha vurugu katika ndoa.
     
  4. Mamaya

    Mamaya JF-Expert Member

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    inahamia wapi ? Be specific kipipi au inahamia ........
     
  5. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    wazungu wanaita 'its a million dollar question....
     
  6. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #6
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    Thou umewaelezea Nyamayao na Nyumba Kubwa in brief… Kweli ujumbe umefika for umewaelezea vizuri na right to the point…. Sijabahatika kugongana mara kwa mara na Nyamayao but nimeelewa ulicho m-wakilisha… thou I can proudly say namuelewa NK na misimamo yake ya maana na msingi mara nyingi saana.

    Nikija kwenye swali lako la last paragraph…. Naomba nizungumzie upande wa sie akina mama… IMO naamini kua Mpenzi wako akikukosea an explanation ni mhimu mno, ten bila hata ku demand ni haki yako… However MJ1 ukumbuke kua kuna makosa ambayo kama wahisi tu hakuna ushahidi ni heri ukapoa na ukasubiri upate ushahidi for hapo ndo waweza mbana vizuri (hivo ndio naamini mimi); hasa makosa mazito i.e. hio ya cheating ulosema… Katika early stages of your man cheating; na Woman intuation yako ikakwambia mumeo kacheat… Uki – react mapema kwa kudemand ukweli mapema… waweza usije jua kama kweli ama lah! For naamini the beauty of knowing your Man has cheated also lies in knowing mtu alocheat nae ni nani…. Kwangu la maana hapo naona sasa nikumfuatilia kwa ukaribu kujua ukweli wa mambo…. Na mpaka wewe as a wife ukahisi na kuona kua mumeo ana cheat – jua kabisa kua that woman is trouble… and she has to be removed at all cost!
     
  7. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna masuala ya parenting haya lazima kwa namna moja ua nyingine upate jibu la kuridhisha kwa kuwa hili sio suala la mtu mmoja kama inavyodhaniwa na wengi of course kuna issue za kurudi nyumbani mtu amechelewa bila maelezo yoyote ya msingi anaingia anakuangalia kama vile sanamu hata ile kusema samahani mke/mme wangu nilichelewa kutokana na 1,2,3 hakuna, of course na cheating ambayo huwa haina justification
     
  8. ndyoko

    ndyoko JF-Expert Member

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    mhhhhhhhh! hayo mambo huwa naogopa kweli kuyachangia, maana wakati unachangia usikute unagusa kidonda kipyaa ambacho ndo kimetoka kupoa tu muda mfupi ulopita. Nafuu ni pale utakapokuwa unatoa points za kutuliza nafsi, alkini ikiwa tofauti ndo unakuta watu akili zinaham, na wengine wanakufa huku wamekaa kwenye sofa.

    Halafu we mwanajamiione, mtindo wako wa kuuliza maswali yanayopiga ikulu mawe, shauri yako........ misiba mingine sababu ni kwamba watu wanachokonolewa na kukumbushwa maumivu.

    Tunangoja michango ya walobobea bana.
     
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    kulijibu hili swali ni lazima ujadili vitu vingi mno...
    .personality za watu ..
    huwezi sema ni lazima mume au mke afanye hivi wakati watu
    wana tofauti za personality....
    wao nyamayao na nyumba kubwa wanazungumzia kutokana na experience zao....

    kuna waume au wanawake ambao ukitaka kkulikoroga basi mlazimishe kujadili makosa yake

    bottomline binadamu tumeumbwa tofautii
     
  10. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Jamani Kipipi mbona u moga hivyo?? hebu sema kama si kwa upande wako vipi upande wa mwenzio? ni mambo gani ambayo wewe kama mtu wake unapaswa kuyahoji na yeye anatakiwa kutoa jibu la kueleweka??
     
  11. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

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    Embu malizia kwanza sentensi yako alafu na mi ndo nikwambie pengine ni jibu sahihi!
     
  12. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #12
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    With this post, I couldnt help myself but laughing.... eh aksante mwaya so its okay kama mmoja atakuwa ananyamazia kila kitu kwa kuwa tu position yake kwenye mahusiano yao haimruhusu yeye kucomplain, lamment au hata kucritisize eti kwa kuwa atasababisha vurugu and ndoa kuvunjika??
     
  13. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #13
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    Wapendwa mie mwenzenu wala siko Ulaya, sina umeme so hiki kipakata paja ( kalaptop) kanaishia charge. Kwa heshma na taadhima ninawaomba nirespond kwa posts zenu kesho asubuhi.
    Ninawapenda, please tafakari.
     
  14. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Na hio ndio hu determine everything.... Kuna mwanamke mwingine mume wake ka cheat hata habari hana na ipo wazi kabisa.... Kuna mwanamke mwingine atamuwekea hata sumu mumewe kwa hasira in the belief ya "tukose woote", kuna mwanamkw mwingine ataenda mumwagia tindikali huyo nyumba ndogo mpaka aipate.... yaaani results ni nyingi mno...

    Kuna mianaume mingime ukijua wala hata halishtuki maana anaona huwezi mfanya kitu na wala hajali kama ukitaka kuondoka.... Kuna mwanaume mwingine akijua unajua ndoa kabisa anahalalisha anakua mke wa pili.... Kuna mwanaume mwingine anakua mdogo mithili ya sisimizi... na mwingine anajuta hasa kosa lake - hali mwingine pia hujuta, but hujuta kakosea step umemfumania but not bcoz kafanya kosa....

    Yoote hayo hapo above hutegemea nyie kama spouses mnaishi vipi?? Nafasi ya kila mmoja katika familia?? mchango wa kila mmoja katika familly?? Watoto na mahitaji?? Family back ground?? Na most importantly "kujitambua" hasa kwa mwanamke.... kama ulivosema Boss yahitaji kuangalia mambo mengi saaana.
     
  15. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...the finest una akili sana....thumb up!
     
  16. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    MJ1 Nyamayao yupo busy sana kanambia lakini Inshallah salamu zako kazipata.
     
  17. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Hapa ndo utaona umuhimu wa simu ya mchina betri wiki nzima
     
  18. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    halafu watu wengi tunasahau kuwa yule unaemuona 'the right person' anaweza kuwa
    ni wrong person kwa mwingine and vice versa.....

    unamuona mtu anam cheat mkewe unasema aah yule jamaa sio kabisa...

    well kumbe yawezekana ndoa yao walishakubaliana kitu kuhusu hiyo cheating....
    labda ndoa ya kufaana, it works for them,who knows????
     
  19. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahaha!!!! Lol
     
  20. Mamaya

    Mamaya JF-Expert Member

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    inahamia kwenye kucha
     
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