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Laughter series: W a l-M a rt h a s everything...!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kwetunikwetu, Aug 21, 2009.

  1. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    Aug 21, 2009
    Joined: Dec 23, 2007
    Messages: 1,546
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    One d a y, in line a t the company cafeteria , Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

    'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.

    'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

    He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and a void heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog , urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart