laugh out loud loooooool

Michelle said:
Asante sana...ninaamini pamoja na kuchezewa sana nyuma tungeweza shinda kama si ule uamuzi wa kumtoa Van Persie kwa kadi nyekundu...ile iliharibu saikolojia ya wachezaji wetu....pass si ishu sana,tulichotaka pale ni ushindi na kusonga mbele....anyway,yameisha sasa tusubiri jumamosi na MAN U.....naomba iwe salama....nitakuwa napita hapa kujifurahisha hadi machungu yaishe....l.o.l:hand:
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Itabidi "mkazane" maana kabati la vikombe limebaki tupu na mechi nyingi zilizobakia ni ngumu................karibu time yoyote ila uwe na mbavu za akiba........
 
Biology Teacher asked students to draw the female
reproductive organ.
A girl feels shy and looks Down. A student shouts
"Miss, she is copying".
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
I read smoking is bad, I stopped smoking
I read drinking is bad, I stopped drinking
I read Sex is bad, I stopped Reading!!!:wink2:
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Chukua na hii basi!

Jamaa mmoja alikua kakosa usingizi usiku akaamua kuwasha taa ndogo pembeni mwa kitanda akachukua kitabu akaanza kusoma, huku mkewe amelala pembeni yake. kila akimaliza page moja anaingiza mkono katikati ya miguu ya mkewe, kisha anafungua page nyingine, anaendelea kusoma. baada ya kufika page kama nne hivi, mkewe akamwambia Honey I am ready! na akajiweka mkao wa shughuli. Jamaa akwamwambia oh no sweetie, mwenzio nilikua nahitaji maji maji tu ili kuni saidia kufungua page za kitabu, mate yamenikauka mdomoni, leo sihitaji. sorry!!!!!!!!!! not for today!
 
nyantella said:
Chukua na hii basi!

Jamaa mmoja alikua kakosa usingizi usiku akaamua kuwasha taa ndogo pembeni mwa kitanda akachukua kitabu akaanza kusoma, huku mkewe amelala pembeni yake. kila akimaliza page moja anaingiza mkono katikati ya miguu ya mkewe, kisha anafungua page nyingine, anaendelea kusoma. baada ya kufika page kama nne hivi, mkewe akamwambia Honey I am ready! na akajiweka mkao wa shughuli. Jamaa akwamwambia oh no sweetie, mwenzio nilikua nahitaji maji maji tu ili kuni saidia kufungua page za kitabu, mate yamenikauka mdomoni, leo sihitaji. sorry!!!!!!!!!! not for today!
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Baada ya kumaliza kusoma kitabu siku ya tatu yake jamaa akawa anakula uroda na mkewe mara akakojoa kisha akatulia kwenye kifua cha mkewe,,mke akamwambia si umekojoa mbona ume2lia? akajibu nasubiri kunya
 
Sharobaro alikuwa anatokea demu, akatoka naye dinner kwenye subway moja, akawa anasikia muziki mkubwa wenye beats za kutosha, ghafla akajisikia kupumua na ikawa noma kwake maana demu yuko mbele yake halafu watu nyomi.

Akaamua kupumua kwa kufuata beats za muziki ili isisikike. Ghafla akaona demu anaondoka kwa hasira halafu watu wote wanamtazama kwa mshangao.

Akagundua jambo,

''khaa!!! kumbe muziki unatoka kwenye head phone za ipod zangu bana''
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Biology Teacher asked students to draw the female
reproductive organ.
A girl feels shy and looks Down. A student shouts
"Miss, she is copying".
Click to expand...

Mwalimu aliwaambia watoto wachore tembo. Wasichana wote wakachora tembo bila tatizo. Tatizo likawa watoto wavulana, wao walichora tembo bila mkonga isipokuwa sehemu ya mkonga wakaandika....'kama ya shabani'.
 
Mvuvi alimpandisha msomi katika boti kumvuusha ngambo ya pili......
Msomi akamuuliza mvuvi umesoma?
Mvuvi: hapana sijasoma
Msomi: loh pole umepoteza asili mia 30 ya maisha yako,akamuuliza tena jee umeshawahi kupanda ndege?
Mvuvi: sijawahi kabisa naiyona tu ikiwa angani
Msomi: loh umepoteza asilimia 40 ya maisha yako
mara boti likaanza kuzama, Mvuvi akamuuliza Msomi jee unajua kuogelea?
Msomi: mimi sijui kuogelea
Mvuvi: shenzi unusu weee umepoteza asilimia mia moja ya maisha yako.....kwaheri
 
Hii imetokea jana kwenye daladala ya Tegeta Posta, mama mmoja kakaa kwenye siti ya daladala kabeba mtoto wake pembeni ya kuna jamaa kakaa nae, walipofika mwenge jamaa akamwambia yule mama mwenye mtoto:dada mtoto wako kapendeza mpaka ananipa APITAITE ya kumbeba
 
Padri katika misa, akauliza swali waumini wake.....
ni kiungo gani mwilini hupatikana sehemu iliojificha na kina wingi wa unyevunyevu na kinaweza kufanya ndoa iwe imara au kuyumba? Waumini kimyaa ......macho chini ...(moyoni kila mtu anawaza loh ya leo kali), baada kimya kidogo Padri...inueni macho niwaoneshe... ni hiki hapa akigusa ULIMI...Nyoote akili zenu mnawaza ngono tu muda wote.
 
Mohammed Shossi said:
Baada ya kumaliza kusoma kitabu siku ya tatu yake jamaa akawa anakula uroda na mkewe mara akakojoa kisha akatulia kwenye kifua cha mkewe,,mke akamwambia si umekojoa mbona ume2lia? akajibu nasubiri kunya
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Chukuwa hii..
Mtoto anamuliza mama yake: hivi mama mbona kila siku mkiingia ndani kulala wewe na baba ikifika usiku nasikia unalia kwa sauti baba anakupa, asubuhi ukitoka nje ata atuoni ulipoumia hivi baba uwa anakupiga wapi? mama akajibu:ebu kacheze na wenzako
 
komedi said:
Mwalimu aliwaambia watoto wachore tembo. Wasichana wote wakachora tembo bila tatizo. Tatizo likawa watoto wavulana, wao walichora tembo bila mkonga isipokuwa sehemu ya mkonga wakaandika....'kama ya shabani'.
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Kizungumkuti walipoambiwa wachore Ngorongoro Crater, wavulana wote wakachora bila tatizo, ila wasichana wakabaki wanamtazama mwenzao Havintishi.
 
When Bill get just married he went honeymoo with his wife, laid on the bed and make some, when he finnish first goal and stay aside his wife told him now I know why you called your company microsoft
 
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