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Kwanini unibadilishie mfumo wangu wa maisha??!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Husninyo, Apr 16, 2011.

  1. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 16, 2011
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    Binafsi naona hunitendei haki unapotaka niishi kwa utaratibu unaotaka wewe.
    Imagine tumeanza uhusiano, umenikuta nakunywa pombe, navaa vimini, naenda club, nafanya yale yote ninayoona yananifurahisha.
    Katikati ya mahusiano unaniambia niache kufanya vitu vyote hivyo yaani nisiende club, nivae hijab na bia iwe soda.
    Najiuliza, hapo awali hukuona mabinti wa hivyo hadi ukanifata mimi! Iweje sasa!
    Naona watu wengi (wake kwa waume) tunakosea tunapotaka kuwabidilisha wapenzi wetu.
    Kuna siku Rafiki yangu wa kiume alinipigia simu anamlalamikia mpenz wake amemkataza aache pombe ila binti mbishi na anajibu hawezi kuacha pombe kwa sababu mwanaume amemkataza.
    Nikamuuliza yule rafiki yangu kama tangu awali binti anakata kinywaji akasema ndio.
    Nikampa pole na kumpa moyo kuwa ataacha ila nimejiuliza mbona aliingia kwenye mahusiano wakati anajua hiyo tabia inamkera?!
    Ni sahihi kumbadilishia mtu utaratibu wake wa maisha tena kinguvu namna hiyo?
    Nawasilisha.
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #2
    Apr 16, 2011
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    Kupangiana maisha hakuhusiki hata kidogo. Mtu aamue kubadili mtindo wa maisha yake kwa hiari yake mwenyewe na si kwa kulazimishwa na mtu mwingine.

    Na hivi kwa nini mtu ukubali mtu mwingine akupangie maisha yako? Ukikubali basi wewe ni zumbukuku tu. Huna hili wala lile. Unaburuzwa buruzwa tu kama zuzu vile.

    Ishi kwa raha zako na badilika kwa hiari yako.

    Kushi nehi babu jiiiiiiiiii
     
  3. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 16, 2011
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    Nadhani huyo mwenza wako alikua amekupenda toka mwanzo,pamoja na hizo zilizo "kasoro" kwake alijipa moyo atajitahidi kukuelewesha ubadilike (binadamu tunaweza badilika).
    Na kama unampenda pia,sioni tatizo kubadilika!
    Acha kukaza shingo,ulipo simama sio salama kwako

    Kutumia nguvu hiyo ni mada ingine tena,ni uvunjaji wa haki za binadamu
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 16, 2011
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    Hayo angemwambia kabla hawajawa pamoja kama ni muhimu sana kwake.Angeambiwa kama inawezekana au la ili nae aamue kama anaweza kumvumilia mnywaji au la!Kutaka kumbadilisha mtu kwa lazima unakua humtendei haki...shawishi..shauri alafu mwache mtu aamue mwenyewe!
     
  5. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 16, 2011
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  6. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 17, 2011
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    hili swala linawakumba zaidi wanawake kuliko wanaume.
    Wakati wewe unasema tuwe na msimamo, speaker anasema tulegeze shingo.
    Nimewapata, ngoja nisikie wadau wengine wanasemaje.
     
  7. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Haya ya kuomba mpenzi kubadilika (uchafu, ulevi, Vivazi n.k.) kutokana na tabia moja au zaidi kutoka kwa mwenzie yanafanywa na jinsia zote. Na wengi huamua kubadilika kama wanaona ombi la mwenzie linaweza kutekelezwa kirahisi na pia hataki kumpoteza, vinginevyo inaweza kuwa sababu za ugomvi usiokwisha na hatimaye kuharibu uhusiano uliokuwepo na hata kuuvunja.
    YouTube - Leona Lewis - Happy
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #8
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Mimi siku zote nimekuwa muumini wa falsafa ya 'mapenzi ni hiari'. Kama mwenzangu anatabia au mienendo fulani ambayo sipendezwi nayo basi nitafurahi na kuthamini zaidi pale atakapobadilika kwa hiari yake mwenyewe.

    Mapenzi ya kulazimishana sijui nayaonaje tu. Wapo wanaoyaweza lakini mimi si mmojawapo aisee. Sipendi kulazimishwa na kulazimisha sipendi. Hivyo ndivyo nilivyo.
     
  9. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 17, 2011
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    husninyo inategemea,jamani kama kakukuta unakunywa bia 5 akajua ndo mpango na saa hizi unabwia ka-kreti?au kimini alikikuta juu ya goti na kimeshafika halfway ya goti?kuna mwingine unamkuta anakunywa wknds tu bia 5 na kurudi kulala,sasa zimemnogea anapiga kakreti j3 hadi j3 na kurudi home saa nane usiku daily!mabadiliko yanahusika sometimes aisee,walau back to average/reasonable.
     
  10. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #10
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Dahhh
    Si vizuri kutaka kumbadilisha mtu
    lakini ni vizuri kwa mtu kutaka kubadilika
    kadiri ya maisha yanavyoenda mbele

    Khhhaaaaa hembu tuache hayo mambo
    umenikuta hivi sitaki unibadilishe...
    Mfano Mungu akujalie watoto kwa
    Heshima za mama wa kiafrica tunatoka
    Kwenye piece moja unaingia kwenye kumi
    namaanisha unatoka kwenye bikini unaingia kwenye
    shorts..

    Saa nyingine mtu anataka ku move
    Forward na wewe maishani hataweza kufanya hivyo
    Sababu wewe hutaki ku compromise vitu maishani mwako..

    Khaaa usinibadilishe umenikuta hivi
    kwakweli daahh mie nadhani watu wakisema hivyo
    Wanamaanisha personality, physically e.g(punguza unene) na sio miniskert,
    sijui bia khaaa hivyo si vya kubadilisha ni vya kuachwa au
    kupunguza kabisa..

    Ni sawa kuvivaa na kuwa sexy mbele
    ya bf, partner,husband and so on
    lakini unatakiwa uangalie na situation..
    Sio anakupeleka kwenye sherehe kazini kwake
    we uko nusu uchi..

    Na hizo pombe nazo kunywa kwa ustaarabu
    Haya mambo yakupita tusiyape kipaumbele sana jamani
    wengi wamepitia.wengine tunapitia.na wengi walipitia..
    ni hayo tu

    Jumapili njema
    God bless.
     
  11. Kaka Mpendwa

    Kaka Mpendwa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 17, 2011
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    mleta thread sijui ulikuwa umeandika huku una gadhabu?
    Nafikiri ungepunguza ukali wa maneno ili kuleta uhuru kwa wachangiaji..lakini binafsi nadhani nimekuelewa ujumbe uliokuwa unataka kutufikishia.

    Ukweli ni kwamba kweli mtu anaweza akawa amekupenda, na kwa kiasi kikubwa unategemea akuheshimu kama alivyokukuta.

    Lakini kama unafikiri hauwezi kubadilika ni vyema ukamueleza yule anayekupenda kwamba wewe huwezi kubadilika na akuchukulie kama ulivyo, hilo litakuwa ni kama angalizo kwa mpendaji,ili ajue kama anasuka ama ananyoa.

    Kwa upande mwingine kukataa kubadilisha lifestyle ni dalili ya ubinafsi..Kwenye mapenzi lazima ku-compromise.
     
  12. j

    jumalesso Member

    #12
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Kama anampenda abadilike tuu kwani anayokatazwa ni kwa faida yake pia inaonesha kuwa anampenda na kumjali na anataka adumu naye mwambie alegeze msimamo na ajaribu kutafakari yale anayoambiwa kama yana faida au la. Maisha nakubali unaweza kujipangia upendavyo lakini ukumbuke kuwa mahusiano ni sehemu ya maisha na kuwafikiana katika mazuri ni jambo la msingi. Pia sidhani kama huyo bwana ametumia nguvu ghafla hapa na wasi wasi umeongeza chumvi kama alimkubali toka awali nadhani alikuwa na mkakati wa kumbadilisha ambao alikuwa anautekeleza lakini tatizo inawezekana Mpenzi wake amekuwa mgumu kubadilika kiasi ambacho jamaa ameanza kuchoka ndio ukasikia malalamiko. Jitahidi na wewe kubadilika katika fikra zako acha kupromote pombe na vimini
     
  13. Tumaini Jipya

    Tumaini Jipya JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Kwa Hiyo wewe Upo tayari kumpoteza mtu unayempenda kwa sbb hautaki kuacha tabia za kinyonge eg Pombe,Vimini,Clubbing,etc,I doubt ur love for him!!

    Kwa sbb tu nimekukuta na tabia fulani hiyo sio sababu ya ww kutokubadilika,CHANGE! Angekuwa anakwambia uache kufanya ibada au usafi hapo ningekuelewa,Pombe Vimini na Disco ni vitu vya muda mfupi,angalia Maisha in the next 20 years,ukipiga darubini ya kipindi hicho bado unajiona upo kwenye min?

    Besides,sio lazima uvae mini ndiyo uonekane mrembo,yapo mavazi ya staha na mwanamke anapendeza not necessarily Hijab!
    Sidhani kama kuna mwanaume mwenye akili timamu anayetaka Mkewe awe anavaa nguo juu ya magoti,kama yupo hatakuwa mwanaume asiye na Fahari!!

    The bottomline hz,kwenye uhusiano kila mtu hakubari kupukutisha mambo fulani ili timu iwe Imara!!

    Kama ningekuwa mm ndiyo mwanaume wako,ningekwambia taratibu halafu nikupe muda ubadilike,nikiona haubadiliki,nakuuliza swali kibabe: CHAGUA KATI YA MIMI AU POMBE,UKICHAGUA POMBE NASEPA NA HAUTOSIKIA KUTOKA KWANGU KATIKA MAISHA HAYA NA HAKUNA SECOND CHANCE!!!
     
  14. Likasu

    Likasu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Tupo pamoja.
     
  15. Tambara Bovu

    Tambara Bovu JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Kubadilishana tabia haihuu bali tabia ibadilishwe na mtu mwenyewe kwa kujipima na kuridhia.wala asilazimishwe na mtu yeyote.yanini ukatafute mpnz club kisha ukamlazimishe kumshindisha kanisani,umekuwa shemasi!km unataka wavaa hijabu nenda msikitini,km walokole nenda kwa kakobe
     
  16. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Hus kuna wapendwa wamegusia kile nilichokuwa nafikiria, kuna vitu kama wapenzi mnaweza kuelekezana mf.mpenzi wako umemkuta ni mlevi,unaweza kumbasilisha kwa kumuomba/kumshauri apunguze na kunywa kwa kiasi,mf.anarudi nyumbani usiku sana cdhani kama utaifurahia lazma utamuomba abadilike bila kujali kuwa umempenda akiwa hv au anavaa mini skirt za nusu uchi nadhani unaweza kumuomba ziwe ndefu kdg hata kama ulimkuta anavaa hv. Lkn kuna vitu ambavyo hupaswi kumbadilishia mwenzio esp. Vile ambavyo havina effect kny maadili. Ubarikiwe sana
     
  17. RGforever

    RGforever JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 17, 2011
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    Nakubaliana na we 100%, mi sidhan kama MAMBO ya club,vimini,pombe kwa mwanamke ni jambo la kawaida kwa jamii ye2 hasa ya kitanzania, hebu angalien skendo za wasanii wa kike kama irene uwoya, ambavy alikuw nazo,ameolew halaf mambo ambayo alikuw anafany akayaendeleza! Hii haileti picha kabisa ktk mahusiano, HUYO mwanaume alikuvumilia hapo mwanzo na anapotaka ubadilike anakuepusha na mengi ambayo we hutayaona! Kwahyo msikiliz na ubadilike! Lakini yote tisa, kumi ni kwamb inawezekan Mwanamke anapesa, na elimu ambayo inampa kibur cha kubadilika anaona hata kama huyu mwanaume atamwacha atapata tu mwingine! Kwahyo hana shida.. Usemi ni ule ule ''PATA PESA TUJUE TABIA YAKO''
     
  18. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 17, 2011
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    me nchojua wawili mnapoamua kuanzisha mahusiano amabayo ni focused,
    basi lazima hua kuna "submission of self mandate" kwa mwenzako.yaani maamuzi yako unakua huyamiliki kwa asilimia 100.
    inamaana kuana vitu ambavyo inakubidi uache kama ulikua unafanya au ufanye kama ulikua hufanyi,
    ili kuweza kudumisha mapenzi,na hii hua paletu kunapokua na mapenzi ya kweli.
    bila kufanya hivi penzi kudumu ni kazi ngumu.
    so kumbadilisha mtu ni sawatu ila cha msingi ni nia inayotumia.
     
  19. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 17, 2011
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    To RG &TUMAINI:
    hiyo pombe, club & min nimechukulia kama mifano tu. Halafu hobi ya mtu mi najua haibadiliki kutokana na umri bali mazingira tu.
    Kwa mfano binafsi, mimi napenda kwenda ufukweni ila mazingira niliyopo hakuna bahari, ziwa wala mto. Mazingira hayaniruhusu kufanya nikipendacho.
    Sasa, kama umemkuta na hobi zake tangu mwanzo na ukaridhika nazo, kwanini umbadilikie sahv? Kwanini usiruhusu mazingira ndio yambadilishe taratibu?
    Kwa mfano baada ya hiyo miaka uliyosema 20 kama atakuwa kwenye ndoa na watoto kashazaa kuna possibility kubwa ya yeye kubadilika. Ila kwa mazingira ya sahv kama yanaruhusu kwanini asifanye kinachompendeza?
    Ukiacha hiyo mifano, kuna wengine unakuta ni mtu wa kuinteract na watu, anapata mpenzi ila huyo mpenz unakuta jamaa akisalimiana tu na watu yeye ananuna.
    Hapo napo utasemaje?
    Kwanini utengeneze mgogoro sasa kwa jambo ambalo ulishalijua tangu awali?
     
  20. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 17, 2011
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    umeona eeh!!! Na ndio maana migogoro ya wapenzi haiishi.
    Uhusiano wa rafiki yangu upo hatarini kuvunjika. Nashindwa kusuluhisha maana siwezi kumkataza binti kufanya anachokipenda ukizingatia rafiki yangu alimkuta hivyo pia siwezi kumwangusha rafiki yangu kwa kumtetea huyo binti kuwa yupo sawa.
     
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