Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Kwanini ulikuwa unampa GF wako hela - ni tabia mbaya?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    Nilikuwa na mjadala na rafiki yangu mmoja siku chache zilizopita kuhusiana na tabia ambayo miaka hiyo ya 47 tulikuwa hatuchukulii kwa namna yoyote mbaya na ambayo bado inaendelea kwa namna moja au nyingine. Kulikuwa na tabia kwamba ukiwa na GF wakati ule wa shule basi alikuwa anakutegemea kwa matumizi madogomadogo.

    Hivyo, akija kwako alikuwa anatarajia kuwa ataondoka na "chochote" na kwa kweli "mkikutana" bila "kupeana" chochote ilikuwa ni kama jambo lisilo la kawaida. Hii tabia iliendelea lakini ilikuwa ni tofauti kwa wale ambao walikuwa kama kwenye boarding schools ambapo hela zilikuwa zinakuja kwa mgao toka kwa familia kama mgao wa Tanesco. Huko boarding school mtu na gf wake walikuwa wanategemeana mmoja akipata chochote basi mwingine naye alikuwa ananeemeka.

    Lakini katika mazingira ambayo wote mlikuwa bado mnaishi kwa wazazi au mahali ambapo kijana alikuwa au ana kazi bora kidogo bado kuna matarajio kuwa fedha inatolewa. Hapa tukumbuke sizungumzii watu wazima au watu wenye ajira zao ambao wanakubali kuchunwa au watu ambao kutokana na mapenzi kati yao wanasaidiana hapa na pale kwa kadiri ya uwezo wao. Ninazungumzia mapenzi yale ya gf na bf wakati wa shule hasa wakati wa Msingi au hata Sekondari.

    Hoja ambayo ilisababisha kuwa na mjadala mkali kati yangu na rafiki yangu huyo ni kuwa mmoja wetu alikuwa na maoni kuwa tulikuwa tunawaprostitutisha magf wetu kwani tulikuwa tunawapa fedha baada ya kitendo na wao walikuwa wanategemea kupata fedha baada ya kitendo. Tena wakati mwingine hata bila ya kitendo kuna watu walitarajiwa kutoa kitu kidogo kwa binti ambaye bado anaishi na wazazi wake.

    Cha kushangaza tukakumbushana kisa ambacho binti alitegemewa na wazazi wake kujitegemea kimapato - kutoka kwa bf wake kiasi kwamba walianza kumnyima fedha za matumizi ya hapa na pale huku wakimsukumiza "kwani huyo bf wako hana hela?" walimuambia.

    Nikakumbuka kisa cha yule binti ambaye hakutaka kwenda kumuomba bf wake hela kwa sababu walikorofishana na wazazi wake walimkasirikia kwa sababu kina alikuwa anasaidia hadi pale nyumbani na wakamlazimisha binti kwenda kuomba msamaha ilimradi kijana asikate msaada.

    Ukikumbuka mazingira kama haya unachukuliaje tabia hiyo kuwa ni sehemu ya utamaduni wa mapenzi au ni kitu ambacho kinahitaji kuwekwa kwenye maudhui yake - yaani siyo jambo baya kwa kipimo chochote.
     
  2. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 3, 2011
    Messages: 2,797
    Likes Received: 774
    Trophy Points: 280


    A man is counted, and knows that he is a provider.


    Living for over 3 decades now, hard working and income generating lady, my man has to provide, and I thank God he does.

    A man, who does not provide for his woman, unless he is handcapped, is not a man.
     
  3. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #3
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    ouuuch!!! Hata kama hayuko kwenye position ya kuprovide? now I understand why some men after the recession decided to take the bullet... how could they live with themselves...
     
  4. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jan 1, 2011
    Messages: 9,755
    Likes Received: 15
    Trophy Points: 0
    Samahan huyoa anayeanzia primary duuuuu
     
  5. Rejao

    Rejao JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: May 4, 2010
    Messages: 9,223
    Likes Received: 146
    Trophy Points: 160
    Siku hizi madem ndio wanaprovide zaidi!
     
  6. Wit

    Wit JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Feb 2, 2011
    Messages: 418
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    mwanakijiji kumsaidia gf ni part ya majukumu ya mwanaume anaekwepa kufanya hivyo labda ni kwa sababu hana kabisa au ubahili au uchoyo.
     
  7. Horseshoe Arch

    Horseshoe Arch JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 10, 2009
    Messages: 9,275
    Likes Received: 2,435
    Trophy Points: 280
    Mkono mtupu MM...ni mentality tulioikuta na tunaienzi...binafsi najisikia vibaya once mwandani wangu (whom bado ni mwanachuo) akinitembelea wakati mzunguko wa hela ukiwa tight...ni heshima kutoa! Ndivyo navyoamini na i do...ukiniuliza kwanini sijui!
     
  8. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jan 22, 2010
    Messages: 3,233
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    thanks mwanakijiji for this sharing,,,blessings
     
  9. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #9
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
    Messages: 17,782
    Likes Received: 1,672
    Trophy Points: 280
    Dahhhh
    Mimi ilikuwa tofauti
    nikipata fedha kutoka mahali na wazazi/mlezi
    Hafahamu imetoka wapI ntakula ngumu
    Ni malapa, vibao mkanda mpaka ni seme
    na nikisema imetoka kwa mwanaume ndo ntajutia
    kuzaliwa..
     
  10. P

    Pokola JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2010
    Messages: 714
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 35
    Not valid. The World has changed greatly today, with the notions of gender equality at their highest. Think again.

     
  11. Horseshoe Arch

    Horseshoe Arch JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 10, 2009
    Messages: 9,275
    Likes Received: 2,435
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kweli uadilifu unatakiwa uwe reformed maanake zamani binti akiulizwa na wazazi umepata wapi hii,ataangalia chini kwa aibu namwishoni ataacha kulia lakini siku hizi binti anaingia na simu kali hakuna wa kuuliza,kesho gari kesho kutwa nyumba na still uso mkavu,kazi ipo!
     
  12. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 23,718
    Likes Received: 394
    Trophy Points: 180
    kweli ila kumpa hela gf wako kila baada ya kusex sio kitendo kizuri kabisa.
    Tena inaleta picha mbaya zaidi kama mwanaume huwa humsaidii/humpi hela gf wako siku zingine, siku umepewa utamu ndio unamwaga hela. Lol!
     
  13. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #13
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280

    Huoni kwamba wakati mwingine inabidi aje "akugee" ili na wewe utokwe kidogo na chochote? Na hivyo kuna kind of a transactional kind of relationship?
     
  14. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #14
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    Na kama msichana kweli anaona ametendewa haki kama baada ya muda kitendo harudi na kitu chochote cha "kuonesha" nyumbani; si anaweza kuchekwa na wenzake?
     
  15. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #15
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,383
    Likes Received: 2,443
    Trophy Points: 280
    Ulikuwa unatarajia kuwa mtu wako alikuwa na wajibu wa kukupatia kitu kidogo?
     
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 23,718
    Likes Received: 394
    Trophy Points: 180
    mwanakijiji wewe ni mzee wa zamani eeh!
    Siku hizi hakuna kuoneshana, unakula bati tu.
    Kuonesha ni kujitia matatizoni hasa katika familia ambazo wazee wapo karibu sana na watoto wao. Maana ni lazima ahoji umetoa wapi, na mkong'oto utakula.
    Siku hizi unakuta katoto ka darasa la saba kana simu na kwao hawajui.
     
  17. Wakumwitu

    Wakumwitu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jan 22, 2011
    Messages: 373
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 35
    Kuna ma girl friend wengine wanakela jamani. Yeye kila ukikutana naye anachowaza ni kupewa hela. Hata kama umempa jana leo akija atalia hana hela. Mpaka wakati mwingine unajiuliza huyu anamatatizo gani? Yaani haoni aibu uso mkavu kama wa mbuzi. Na gear yake sasa yaani ile hela umenipa jana nimefanya hivi na vile leo yaani sina hela ya matumizi kabisa. Hapo anatarajia sympathy yako umpatie tena. Usipompa anauna na simu hupigiwi, au hata message hatumi. Ukimpigia umuulize kulikoni. Utasikia si nilikuambia toka jana sina hela. Kweli wanaume wakati mwingine tunageuzwa ATM, hata ya NMB ina afadhali. Kazi kwelikweli.
     
  18. Horseshoe Arch

    Horseshoe Arch JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Aug 10, 2009
    Messages: 9,275
    Likes Received: 2,435
    Trophy Points: 280
    Mkuu MM mapenzi ni kitu chema,yananyauka na kuchanua km yalivyo maua...in short mapenzi bila chochote hunyauka km sio kupauka kabisa but mapenzi na chochote huchanua....ni wazi hata tukizunguka ukwel utabaki pale pale kua transactional kind of relationship huchanua sana compared na upendo wa kijamaa! Mapenzi ni sanaa ambayo wasanii wake wanatakiwa angalabu kuchanua machoni mwa hadhira na kitu pekee kinachofanikisha hayo ni "kitu kidogo"...nawasilisha
     
  19. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jan 22, 2010
    Messages: 3,233
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    ukiona wa hivyo na wewe stuka! Mtu gani amekalia kuomba kila siku,sikatai kuwa matatizo hayabishi hodi but not to that extent!na kwa nini anune!enzi anazozisemea mwanakijiji wasichana walikuwa hawana demand ya hivyo lkn due to moral changes things now is upside down,zamani mtoto wa kike alikuwa na haya kidogo hata akisaidiwa anaona soni lkn sasa hivi we press order like huh!! Ila inapendeza pia kuona kuwa mwanaume ana play part in supporting
     
  20. Nsiande

    Nsiande JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jul 27, 2009
    Messages: 1,649
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 135
    Unfortunately for me I dated only agemates so I didn't expect anything in return ...the man I married is also my agemate... We both were doing same job...equal salary..so I didn't expect any pampering except on birthdays and valentines....
     
Loading...