Kwanini tunakuwa na mapenzi na watu wasiotupenda?

[Nyani Ngabu]

on what?:A S 13::decision:

...on a roll....(It's just a saying)

 

[Michelle]

...on a roll....(It's just a saying)

i know its just a saying,i want to understand the meaning....:decision:

 

[muhosni]

sweet....will be forever grateful and honoured to have you....not because you are perfect but because you are sensitive enough and you understand!!

Duh, bichwa limekuwa kubwa hilo! Cant remember when was the last time I was given such sweet and sincere compliments from a Lady.

Count on me and I count on you baby

 

[EMT]

Kwanini tunamuomba Mungu na again we fall in love with the same type of creatures that hurts us? Do you think God could have kept us away from this people in the first place?

Michelle hili ni suala gumu sana na sioni sababu za kumlaumu Mungu hapa. It is not that simple na wataalamu wamejaribu kufanya tafiti mbalimbali. Tatizo linaweza kusababishwa na sababu mbalimbali. Kwanza inawezekana labda you're a victim of blind love yourself. Labda ulifikiri hatimaye umemkuta mtu unayematch naye only to realize later that it was not the case. In fact, he was pretty much like that other awful man you thought was your true love.

Mara nyingi inakuwa sio bahati mbaya to fall in love with the same type of persons that hurts you. It can actually be a deep flaw in your own personality or character. Or the problem may stem from your family history. It may be rooted in lack of self-esteem and self-love. There is another big big problem and that many women do not evaluate themselves or their relationships. They do not recognize the similarities that attract them to certain types of men.

Kuna wengine wanachagua wapenzi wao in attempt to fulfill needs that sometimes go back to their their childhood, back to the time when they were not capable of analyzing the information at hand. Kwa mfano tafiti zinasema kuwa wanawake waliokua huku wakiwaona mama zao wakiwa kwenye bad relationships au walikua kwa baba ambao walikuwa abusive, or alcoholic, as children they watched these situations and think of ways their mothers should have resolved the problem.

So, when they grow up themselves, they select men who are very much like their fathers. When they grow up in abusive families, they marry men who are abusive because they want to change the man. They always seem to want to do their mothers were unable to do. They are influenced by childhood fairy tales in which the prince rescues the damsel in distress, and they believe they will live happily ever after. They believe that you can take a frog, or a man with negative characteristics, and kiss him, and he will turn into a prince or, rather, the man of their dreams.

Audrey B. Chapman writes that numerous studies point to the fact that a woman's capacity for mutually loving and sexually fulfilling relationships is directly related to her relationship with her father. In her book, Getting Good Loving: How Black Men and Women Can Make Love Work, she writes: "Women who are unable to sustain romantic relationships almost always had fathers who could not be counted on, or who were emotionally or physically unavailable when they were growing up. A loving mother is not enough to offset those difficulties.

Pia kuna sababu nyingine ambayo sijui wanawake watajifunza na kuilewa lini. Wanawake wengine wanafikiri wanaweza kuwabadilisha wanaume zao. Once you believe and act on this then your relationship might crush. Wanawake wanajihisi kama vile ni jukumu lao to make a relationship work. But the reality is that we cannot control relationships or the actions of another person. You can't make a man do one thing or another. You can't make a man love you. Women keep getting into negative relationships again and again thinking that we can change the man and make it work. Women think they have that power in a relationship, but they don't. I know many women will contest this one, but unfortunately, it is a naked fact.

Nafikiri pia jamii yetu nayo inabidi ilaumiwe kwa hili tatizo. Jamii yetu imeweka burden ya maintain relationship kwa wanawake. The woman is the one to be blamed when a relationship breaks down. As a result, many abused women believe they did something wrong and that is why they are abused.

Along those same lines, there is no doubt that women continue to select men who are all wrong for them because they are looking for the wrong qualities in a man. Far too many women consider priorities to be good looks, money and material assets. However, those elements do not speak to a man's character or caring or ability to give love. You will find a very beautiful woman complaining that she can't "find a good man," but when you introduce her to a man who has a solid job, character and could be a loving mate, she complains that he doesn't "turn me on." Fair enough.

After further conversation she would reveal that that she is attracted to what she calls "bad boys." That is the kind of man she has been in hurtful relationships with in the past, but she refuses to see the error in her priorities. This pisses me off!! Men who are "nice and polite," those who treat women with respect, often are not appreciated by women who have a fatal attraction to the wrong kind of man.

Labda tujiulize kwa nini hili tatizo lipo zaidi kwa wanawake? Why men who were going out with pretty beautiful girls settled down with a normal woman?

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

i know its just a saying,i want to understand the meaning....:decision:

...meaning you are on fire..enthused..ready to get it crackin' and get it in and et cetera! You get my drift?

 

[muhosni]

i know its just a saying,i want to understand the meaning....:decision:

it is not a saying my sweetie, it is an English idiom (positive) which means...'to be experiencing a period of success at what you are doing'

 

[Michelle]

Duh, bichwa limekuwa kubwa hilo! Cant remember when was the last time I was given such sweet and sincere compliments from a Lady.

Count on me and I count on you baby

I promise you...Michael Bolton.....am counting on you dearest!! enjoy!

 

[Michelle]

...meaning you are on fire..enthused..ready to get it crackin' and get it in and et cetera! You get my drift?

naughty....i got your drift...thank you!!

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

it is not a saying my sweetie, it is an English idiom (positive) which means...'to be experiencing a period of success at what you are doing'

Ain't an idiom a saying?

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

naughty....i got your drift...thank you!!

Oh hell yeah...I'm naughty by nature baby...

 

[tzjamani]

binafsi mwanamke akinitenda tu huwa hata kama nitamsamehe lkn cmuweki tena ktk mawazo yangu na taratibu natafuta mwengine

Duh, No one is perfect. Pale leo wamekukosea wangapi?
Je wewe ukiwakosea?

 

[CPU]

sasa tuko pamoja CPU.....tusijilazimishe kubeba zaidi ya uwezo wetu....!!!!!!!!

True love requires tender passion and faithful devotion to triumph beyond a feigned heart

Kichwa chako kimetulia kweli, ngoja nikugongee vi-ahsante vi5

 

[Dr Lizzy]

when i say you are the best dearest....its because of this kind of arguments....kila jambo kwa kiasi...watu wanataka kuvumilia na kubeba dunia kifuani kwasababu ya uoga, mwishoni tunapoteza zaidi na wakati mwingine hata uhai na ndoto zetu....

tufike mahali tuseme enough is enough Lizzy na kutafuta furaha kwingine.....just Excellent! nitakununulia lamborghini kwa harusi yako....naona signature yasema...Love is in the AYYYYEEEERR!!

Hehehheeh asante my dearest DEAREST!!!Hahahhaa can't wait.....alafu wewe utaride short gun mara ya kwanza kabisa ili kuibariki!!!

 

[Michelle]

Michelle hili ni suala gumu sana na sioni sababu za kumlaumu Mungu hapa. It is not that simple na wataalamu wamejaribu kufanya tafiti mbalimbali. Tatizo linaweza kusababishwa na sababu mbalimbali. Kwanza inawezekana labda you're a victim of blind love yourself. Labda ulifikiri hatimaye umemkuta mtu unayematch naye only to realize later that it was not the case. In fact, he was pretty much like that other awful man you thought was your true love.

Mara nyingi inakuwa sio bahati mbaya to fall in love with the same type of persons that hurts you. It can actually be a deep flaw in your own personality or character. Or the problem may stem from your family history. It may be rooted in lack of self-esteem and self-love. There is another big big problem and that many women do not evaluate themselves or their relationships. They do not recognize the similarities that attract them to certain types of men.

Kuna wengine wanachagua wapenzi wao in attempt to fulfill needs that sometimes go back to their their childhood, back to the time when they were not capable of analyzing the information at hand. Kwa mfano tafiti zinasema kuwa wanawake waliokua huku wakiwaona mama zao wakiwa kwenye bad relationships au walikua kwa baba ambao walikuwa abusive, or alcoholic, as children they watched these situations and think of ways their mothers should have resolved the problem.

So, when they grow up themselves, they select men who are very much like their fathers. When they grow up in abusive families, they marry men who are abusive because they want to change the man. They always seem to want to do their mothers were unable to do. They are influenced by childhood fairy tales in which the prince rescues the damsel in distress, and they believe they will live happily ever after. They believe that you can take a frog, or a man with negative characteristics, and kiss him, and he will turn into a prince or, rather, the man of their dreams.

Audrey B. Chapman writes that numerous studies point to the fact that a woman's capacity for mutually loving and sexually fulfilling relationships is directly related to her relationship with her father. In her book, Getting Good Loving: How Black Men and Women Can Make Love Work, she writes: "Women who are unable to sustain romantic relationships almost always had fathers who could not be counted on, or who were emotionally or physically unavailable when they were growing up. A loving mother is not enough to offset those difficulties.

Pia kuna sababu nyingine ambayo sijui wanawake watajifunza na kuilewa lini. Wanawake wengine wanafikiri wanaweza kuwabadilisha wanaume zao. Once you believe and act on this then your relationship might crush. Wanawake wanajihisi kama vile ni jukumu lao to make a relationship work. But the reality is that we cannot control relationships or the actions of another person. You can't make a man do one thing or another. You can't make a man love you. Women keep getting into negative relationships again and again thinking that we can change the man and make it work. Women think they have that power in a relationship, but they don't. I know many women will contest this one, but unfortunately, it is a naked fact.

Nafikiri pia jamii yetu nayo inabidi ilaumiwe kwa hili tatizo. Jamii yetu imeweka burden ya maintain relationship kwa wanawake. The woman is the one to be blamed when a relationship breaks down. As a result, many abused women believe they did something wrong and that is why they are abused.

Along those same lines, there is no doubt that women continue to select men who are all wrong for them because they are looking for the wrong qualities in a man. Far too many women consider priorities to be good looks, money and material assets. However, those elements do not speak to a man's character or caring or ability to give love. You will find a very beautiful woman complaining that she can't "find a good man," but when you introduce her to a man who has a solid job, character and could be a loving mate, she complains that he doesn't "turn me on." Fair enough.

After further conversation she would reveal that that she is attracted to what she calls "bad boys." That is the kind of man she has been in hurtful relationships with in the past, but she refuses to see the error in her priorities. This pisses me off!! Men who are "nice and polite," those who treat women with respect, often are not appreciated by women who have a fatal attraction to the wrong kind of man.

Natamani ningeweza kukushukuru zaidi kwa majibu yako mazuri sana,yaliyozingatia utafiti na experience...umejibu na ziada na zaidi kunisaidia kujifahamu( kuna matatizo tunayaangalia kwa mtazamo mdogo kumbe yanaweza kuwa na mizizi yake kwenye familia na jamii tunayoishi.......ndo maana tunabaki kushangawa pale tunapojaribu kuchukua maamuzi ya tofauti kwasababu ya jamii tuliyokuia....nimefurahi pia imeonyesha kuwa haya yanatukuta wengi manake niliambiwa nisizungumzie wenzangu....mara sifai kuolewa.......!!!!! huu ndo mwanzo wa suluhisho,kujielewa!!!!

will print this and share this with my girlfriends....May God kindly Bless You! am grateful!!

 

[LD]

nakubaliana nawe LD, sasa huko kutulia kunakupa guarantee ya kumpata wa tofauti? lets say umetulia miaka yako mitano,then ukampata,do you have any guarantee he will be different from the ones you had before?

je unafikiri hao walioko kwenye abusive relationship hawakusali my sister?

je abusive partners nao wanastahili kupendwa?:A S 13:

Mwenzangu Michelle, mi nahisi kuna watu wana afadhali, yani hawako perfect kiivo lakini wanasikia, fundishika, na kuelewa.
Kuna watu wamejifunza maisha wakayaelewa, kuna watu mkiongea mnayamaliza matatizo yenu.
Wapo Michelle naamini kabisa wapo, kulingana na mazingira aliyokulia na jinsi ambavyo amekubali changamoto za dunia zikawa shule kwake.

Hawa ambao hawasikii la shehe wala la padri nao wapo, ndio wale wanoamua kuishi kila mtu kwa staili yake ingawa wanaishi pamoja ndani ya nyumba. Wengine ndio wanavumilia machungu tu kwa sababu ya hali ya maisha na kujidai wanalinda heshima.

 

[MAMMAMIA]

oh,thats written in the bible and we all know that....my point was...mtu anakupiga,analeta mwanamke ndani wewe ukiwepo and then you still stay? why do they stay?is it not possible to find someone else or just stay single?

Hii inauma sana. Mwanammume anampiga mwanamke? Huu ni uoga kwa mwanamume na ni uoga kwa mwanamke. Ni uoga kwa mwanamume kwa sababu mwanamume jasiri hawezi kuinua mkono wake kumpiga mwanamke.

Ni uoga kwa mwanamke kwa sababu ulizoeleza, kumkosa mume, kusubiri abadilike. Na yote ni kukosa ujasiri mara ya kwanza. Ikiwa amekupiga ukamwachia, ikiwa ameleta mwanamke ndani ukavumilia, yote mawili ni dharau ya mwisho na mtu alipaswa na anapswa kuyaweka sawa tangu siku ya mwanzo.

 

[Michelle]

Kichwa chako kimetulia kweli, ngoja nikugongee vi-ahsante vi5

leo kimetulia,si unaona nilivyo mpole....utu uzima unanituliza.....l.o.l

 

[Michelle]

Hehehheeh asante my dearest DEAREST!!!Hahahhaa can't wait.....alafu wewe utaride short gun mara ya kwanza kabisa ili kuibariki!!!

mmmhhhhh will be honoured to do so dearest!!!

 

[Michelle]

Mwenzangu Michelle, mi nahisi kuna watu wana afadhali, yani hawako perfect kiivo lakini wanasikia, fundishika, na kuelewa.
Kuna watu wamejifunza maisha wakayaelewa, kuna watu mkiongea mnayamaliza matatizo yenu.
Wapo Michelle naamini kabisa wapo, kulingana na mazingira aliyokulia na jinsi ambavyo amekubali changamoto za dunia zikawa shule kwake.

Hawa ambao hawasikii la shehe wala la padri nao wapo, ndio wale wanoamua kuishi kila mtu kwa staili yake ingawa wanaishi pamoja ndani ya nyumba. Wengine ndio wanavumilia machungu tu kwa sababu ya hali ya maisha na kujidai wanalinda heshima.

Ndio tuwe na subira tuwapate hao....tusali na kuwa makini....mimi naamini wapo....!!!Blessings to you my dear!

 

[CPU]

leo kimetulia,si unaona nilivyo mpole....utu uzima unanituliza.....l.o.l

mmmmmh
We si ulisemaga bado kabinti ka anda 25??:wink2: