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Kwanini huolewi? Au una kasoro?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Da Pretty, Mar 14, 2011.

  1. Da Pretty

    Da Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Habari wanajamvi.
    Kwa kweli hilo swali huwa linanisononesha sana.
    Nina umri wa miaka 30, sijaolewa, sina mchumba wala mpenzi yapata mwaka na miezi kadhaa sasa.
    Mdogo wangu anayenifuatia ana miaka 27 aliolewa akiwa na miaka 24 na ana watoto wawili sasa.
    Familia yangu na jamii inayonizunguka hainielewi na mara nyingi nakutana na hilo swali
    "Mbona wenzako wanaolewa wewe huolewi, au una tatizo?"
    Kiukweli hua napata ugumu sana kujibu hilo swali kwa sababu sina cha kuwajibu.
    Labda ningesema nina tatizo au kasoro lakini kati ya niliowahi kuwa nao kimahusiano hakuna alieoa hadi sasa japo wote walinizidi umri na kuna wawili walikua na watoto tayari na mpaka sasa hawajaoa.
    Hivi kwa jamii yetu mwanamke kutoolewa ni kasoro?
    Maana kuna rafiki yangu naye anapata usumbufu kama wangu kutoka kwa familia yake.
    Vipi kama mwanaume ninayempata yeye hana wazo la kuoa nifanyeje?
    Na wanaume huwa wanaulizwa na kuonekana wana matatizo kama wanawake?
     
  2. V

    Vumbi Senior Member

    #2
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Pole kwa changamoto unazo kutana nazo. Ni kweli baadhi ya wana jamii wanatabia ya kuwa nyoshea vidole wasichana ambao bado hawajaingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu wana jamii hao hawana uelewa mpana juu ya maamuzi binafsi ya mtu kuingia kwenye ndoa. Hii tabia inasababisha baadhi ya wasichana kuingia kwenye ndoa ili kuiridhisha jamii inayo wazunguka lakini si ajabu hana furaha yoyote ndani ya hiyo ndoa. Maisha yako na furaha yako ipo mikononi mwako, usikubali jamii iendeshe maisha yako kama ni kuolewa wewe muombe mungu unayemuamini utampata unayempenda atakuoa. Ndoa ni taasisi yenye changamoto nyingi sana hivyo inahitaji umpate mtu unayempenda na anayekupenda vinginevyo changamoto zake zinaweza kugharimu maisha yako.
     
  3. Maalim Jumar

    Maalim Jumar JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Nlijua unataka kutoa msaada ili wasiolewa sasa waolewe!
    Suala la kuolewa ni bahati wala si kasoro.
    Maana najua kasoro zipo nyingi...lakini watu wenye bahati zao hawaangaliwi...wao ni kupeta tu!
    Pia pole saba kwa hilo tatizo...hapo umeshajiharibu mwenyewe kisaikolojia.
    NiPM.
     
  4. Z

    Zion Daughter JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Pole sana.Kila mtu anapitia njia yake katk maisha.mwamini Yesu na utapata amani ya kweli.
     
  5. KakaKiiza

    KakaKiiza JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Mume/Mke uchaguliwa na mungu kwani na walio olewa au kuoa hawakuoa walioanza nao au wale waliowapenda zaidi lakini kwa mipangoya mungu walijikuta waliowapenda wamewaacha kwingine nawalikoenda wakajikuta wamekuwa na mahusiano yasiyokuwa rasimi na baadae yakawa rasimi!!hivyo kuolewa/kuoa nimipango ya mungu!!
     
  6. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Kuolewa sio issue sana ila kwa jamii yetu eti usipoolewa may una matatizo sio kweli bana.

    Pole ila usijali watu wanaolewa na 40yrs wala isikutishe my dear
     
  7. The Son of Man

    The Son of Man JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Pole sana mama wala usijali sana kuolewa ni kwa wakati na bahati tu inategemea, hasa kama umeamua mwenyewe. Usikilize moyo wako tu wala si maneno ya watu!
     
  8. N

    Ninaweza JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Wewe bint ucjinyanyapae, binafsi sion tatizo lolote, age yangu ni 30 (mwanaume) cjaoa na cna mchumba, ingawa maswali kama hayo huwa naulizwa, na huwa nawajibu kuwa cjaamua kuoa, jiamini utapata chaguo lako. Angalizo: ucjaribu! nasema tena usijaribu kuingia ktk ndoa kwa ajili ya kuiridhisha jamii inayokuzunguka!
     
  9. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Siku zote sioni kama kuolewa ni bahati au kasoro.
    Kuolewa ni maamuzi + muda.
    Muda ukifika utaolewa kama utaamua.
    Ukiamua kuolewa wakati muda hauruhusu hutoolewa.
    Usihofu da pretty, utaolewa hata kama utakuwa m bibi.
     
  10. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 14, 2011
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    nimelipenda hili onyo.
     
  11. N

    Nalonga Senior Member

    #11
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Pole Sis' kwa hizo changamoto kutoka ktk jamii zetu za kiafrika,kwa kukusaidia jibu hapo kwenye red,wambie "BADO NIPO NIPO KWANZA"
    then life is goes on.
     
  12. mgodi

    mgodi JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Kuolewa hakuna umri maarumu, panga mambo yako kama kawaida huku ukiendelea kumuomba Mungu akupe Mwenza mwema, naamini Mungu atakupa mwenza muda ukifika.
     
  13. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Unaonaje ukimPM wewe ?
     
  14. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Pole Da Pretty. Ila hizi social pressures ni ngumu sana kuzi ignore hasa zinapotoka kwa watu wako wa karibu!
     
  15. Da Pretty

    Da Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Sijinyanyapai na mara nyingi huwa nafurahia maisha yangu, tatizo pale wapoanza maswali yao, mbaya zaidi ni watu wangu tena ninaowaheshimu sana hasa mama zangu.
    Hudhani ninavyoishi nakosea sana kama kutoka na marafiki zangu hivyo hutaka niachane na marafiki kwa kudhan nazua waoaji kunifata.
     
  16. Da Pretty

    Da Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Inawezekana kweli nimejiharibu kisaikolojia (lakini bila kujua)
    Hilo ni swali linalonikera kulisikia ndio maana nimeliweka hapo juu labda kwa kupitia sana hii post nitalizoea.
     
  17. Da Pretty

    Da Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Kweli SMU,
    Fikiria mama yangu mazi ananiuliza tena ujue haiishii hapo, na mawaidha kibao.
    Najitahidi kuongea ila inafikia nanyamaza tu.
     
  18. Dinnah

    Dinnah JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Dada angu pole sana kwa mawazo mabaya ulojiwekea na unawaza sana sababu wewe mwenyewe unapenda upate mchumba uolewe lakini inakuwa sivyo, embu jiulize maswali kwanza kwa nini unaokuwa nao hawakukuuliza swali hilo? pengine kuna kitu kinawakwaza bila ya wewe mwenyewe kujua, relax kila kitu kitakuja chenyewe wakati ukifika wala usiumie roho kuona mdogo wako alishaolewa, pia siku hizi kutaka kusoma kwanza wasichana wengi wamejikuta wana madegree kibao then wanatafuta wachumba wa kuwaoa miaka inakuwa imeenda sana mwishoni unajikuta kwenye situation ambayo unajiona umechelewa. mimi naona umri wako bado upo freshutapata tu mchumba
     
  19. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 14, 2011
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    upo we mtu?
     
  20. N

    Ninaweza JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    Miaka 2 ilopita mamangu mzaz alicctiza sana nioe mpaka akapendekeza kumchumbia bint m1 huko kijijin kwe2, nikamwambia acfanye jambo hilo mpaka hapo ntakapo mwambia, nashukuru naye had sasa hajarudia kuliongelea tena.
     
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