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"Kwaajili yako". . . . .

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Apr 14, 2012.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Inatokea wakati mwingine watu wawili wanakutana mmoja au wote wawili wakiwa kwenye mahusiano na watu wengine na bado kila mmoja anaishia kuvutiwa na mwenzie hata kufikia hatua ya "KUTAKA" kuwa pamoja.

    Wanapofikia hatua hiyo yule mwenye mahusiano anaweza akatoa offer ya "Ntamwacha nilie nae/nataka nimwache nilie nae ili mimi na wewe tuwe katika mahusiano". Kwa namna moja huu naweza kuuita ustaarabu kwasababu mhusika atakua mkweli kwa yule mwenzi wake kua mahusiano yao yamefikia tamati ili asonge mbele, which means hamna anaecheat. Ila sasa. . . .
    Wewe binafsi unaonaje swala la mtu kumuacha mtu wake alokua nae "KWAAJILI YAKO"?!
    Sio kwakua hampendi tena, sio kwakua hamtaki ila kwa kiasi kikubwa ni kwasababu wewe umejitokeza.

    Binafsi hiyo "KWAAJILI YAKO" hua inanipa utata sana. Naona kama ni namna ya kuanzisha mahusiano ambayo ni complicated tangu mwanzo, maana hata siku akikuchoka anaweza asichelewe kukutupia dongo la " we ndo ulinifanya nikamwacha mpenzi wangu. . .and for what? Huna maana!" . Hapo mshachokana au complication zishakua nyingi. Nimefikiria njia ambayo ni bora kudeal na mtu ambae yupo kwenye mahusiano anayodai hayataki tena bali anataka kuwa nawe , huku nawe ukipenda kuwa nae ni kumtaka ajitoe kwenye situation aliyomo (current mahusiano) bila ya kukuhusisha wewe. Kwamba bila ya kujua kama utampokea au la, avunje hayo mahusiano anayodai hayataki tena alafu ndio arudi kutaka kujua kama unamtaka na kama uko tayari kumpokea au la.

    That way atakua ameonyesha kwamba kweli yale mahusiano hakua anayataka/furahia bali alikua anaendelea nayo tu labda kwa kukosa ujasiri/msukumo wa kuyasitisha. Pia utakwepa lawama ya kuwa 'ulihusika' kuvunja mahusiano ya mwenzio.

    What you all think. . . . ?
     
  2. Yummy

    Yummy JF-Expert Member

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    Vipi Lizzy, yamekukuta mama?
     
  3. Bourgeoisie

    Bourgeoisie JF-Expert Member

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    Napita tu kwa sasa, nitarejea baadaye.
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Yakunikuta yalishanikuta Mamie. . .mengine marudio tu.
     
  5. kichwat

    kichwat JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Dear Tanzanian, if you've crossed 18 yrs, then you're 100% responsible for choices & decisions you make, AND CONSEQUENCES thereof (good or bad)
     
  6. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Sometimes matters of the heart can not be thought by the head.., (ukipenda you can do stupid things and there is no boundary) nadhani effect ya kuwa na mtu mwenye mahusiano ni kuogopa kuumiza third parties, na sio kuogopa lawama in the future kwamba ulinifanya nimwache mpenzi wangu (sababu hakuna aliyelazimishwa), anyway cha kufanya ni kuhakikisha wote wanaachana kwanza mahusiano yao na sio kwamba mna-cheat.

    Na issue ya kwamba aache kwanza ili ndio aje akufuate (who knows kama bado utakuwepo.., alafu huoni kwamba atakuwa amekufunga kwamba nimeacha wangu hivyo huna budi kunikubali.., lawama ni palepale)

    Anyway binafsi naona kama mahusiano ya mtu hayana matatizo it not worth it kuacha mbachao kwa msala upitao (I mean kutema Big G kwa Karanga za kuonjeshwa).., ila kama nyote mmechoka mahusiano yenu na mnadhani grass is greener on the other side, basi inabidi wenyewe muachena na current mahusiano yenu regardless mpo wote au hapana ila sio mmoja kuwa causative (au kumganganiza mwenzake kuacha)
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Naaahhhh. . .Hii haiwezi kuwa na lawama kwasababu unamwambia kabisa asimuache huyo mwenzie kwasababu yako. . .na kumwacha kwake sio guarantee ya kuwa utampokea na ndio haswa maana ya "usimuache kwaajili yangu" inapoingia.
     
  8. D

    Dotowangu JF-Expert Member

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    Duh lizy hi kitu imesumbua sana kichwa changu naona kama unanisema mimi... mtu kamuacha mwenzake kwa ajili yangu..wasiwasi wangu ni kwamba hata mimi ipo siku ntaachwa kwa kwa ajili ya mtu mwingine..mbaya zaidi ananiambia bado wana wasiliana,nimeshindwa hata kumshangaa
     
  9. S

    SI unit JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 14, 2012
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    Khaa! Jamani "Lizzy" utaniua kwa barua yako tamu!
    SOURCE
    Ta Kamugisha, bepari la Kihaya, lol!
     
  10. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 14, 2012
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    Hivi watu huwa wanalaumu sababu hawakusema, au sababu walipatana kwamba if A, B au C basi usiniliaumu., wakati mapenzi yapo hot mabaya yote uonekana mazuri na mapenzi yakichuja hata mazuri uonekana mabaya (binadamu hakosi sababu).

    Na hapo unaongelea situation ambayo mmoja kapenda kuliko mwingine (yaani anakuja kwako na kukwambia amekupenda, hivyo wewe inabidi umwambie hapana una mwenzako endelea na familia yako.., hapo ni sawa).., ila issue inakuja wote mnapendana sana na mnataka kuwa pamoja, hivyo basi hata bila kutoa kauli ni kwamba mnajua kwamba hampo pamoja sababu ya kila mtu ana-commitment zake, hivyo basi hii itapelekea kila mtu huko nyumbani kutomjali mwenza wake kama zamani and eventually kuachana.., Sasa basi unadhani huyu mtu akija baadae ukamkataa pale pale before kuendelea au ukamkataa baadae mkishaona kwamba you don't click (wapi kuna lawama na wapi hakuna lawama)

    Honestly I guess jambo la maana ni ku-cherish the moment kama mnapendana and let tommorrow take care of itself (so long as you are not hurting any third parties). Of course such relationship may have not been built on strong foundation (lakini kama mnapendana sana you can overcome anything), Of course there are no guarantees what can happen lakini there are no guarantee in any walk of life
     
  11. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Sio kwa ajili yako tu ni kwa ajili yake pia sababu alikupenda na ulikidhi haja zake za wakati huo, at that particular moment kila mtu alikuwa ana-enjoy na unless ulimpa ultimatum kwamba kamwache mke wako, hakuna wa kulaumu bali yeye mwenyewe.

    Maisha hayana guarantee, hata ukifanya yote sawa huenda kesho ukaacha au kuachwa.., kwahio cha maana ni kuangalia mtu unayeingia nae kwenye mahusiano ni wa aina gani.., and don't let hofu za kesho itakuwaje sikuharibie leo

    Akufukuzae hakwambii toka..,(kama unaona anafanya hivyo kwa kukukomoa basi hana busara) ila kama wanashare watoto na familia na mwenza wake sio busara kumkataza mwenza wako asiongee na mzazi mwenzake so long as wanaongea issue za watoto
     
  12. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    naogopa sana mtu wa namna hiyo, anayetaka kumuacha aliyenae 'kwa ajili yangu' maana ipo siku atanitosa 'kwa ajili ' ya mwenzangu........
     
  13. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 14, 2012
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    Mahusiano ni pasua kichwa.

    Si kila ukimwacha A kwa ajili ya B, basi utamwacha B kwa ajili ya C.

    Inawezekana mahusiano kati yangu na A yapo yapo tu for the sake ya uvumilivu na ile kusema nitaacha wangapi.

    Akijitokeza B ambaye ni candidate mzuri zaidi, why not? Naweka mambo wazi na nina move haraka tu kwa B.

    Maisha ni mafupi mno kujinywesha klorokwin kila siku lol
     
  14. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Doto usiwe na wasiwasi bana. . .
    Inawezekana hisia zilishaisha huko zamani, sema tu alikua hajapata msukumo. Kinachoweza kusababisha mahusiano yadumu mara nyingi ni hisia za wahusika na sio yalipoanzia. Kuna walioanza kwa kucheat, wakaishia kuona na mahusiano yao hayana kashkash kwasababu kweli walikutana waliotakana, japo muda mbaya kidogo.
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahahaha. . . I guess hamna haja Konnie. After all. . .Hata ukimkuta hana(alishamwacha) bado anaweza akawa nao baadae akitaka.

    @BT. . .
    Hata ukimkuta hana bado anaweza akakuacha wewe kwaajili ya mwingine.
     
  16. BRO LEE

    BRO LEE JF-Expert Member

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    Lizzy umeongela mambo yanayotokea na kwa kiasi kikubwa unagusa hisia za wengi, kuna wakati kweli unawaza kukutana na m2 ambaye unahisi kumpenda sana na anakuwa na sifa zote unazozihitaji na pengine huyo uliyenaye hana, kibaya zaidi katika interaction zenu unagundua tayari kila mmoja ana hisia na mwenzake ila tatizo ni mahusiano ya awali mliyonayo.

    Tatizo ni nani achukue uamuzi wa kuvunja uhusiano wake kwa ajili ya mwenzake, ndo hizo hofu za ikiwa alimwacha je na mimi c ataniacha akipata mwingine nk, na wanaoumia zaidi ni wale walioko kwenye ndoa na mara nyingine hawa wanaopendana huishia kucheat.

    Mimi ningependa katika katiba mpya sheria ya ndoa iboreshwe kuwa na ndoa za mikataba ya muda, siyo mpaka kifo kitenganishe.
     
  17. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu kwani huu ni uamuzi wa mmoja kuacha kwa ajili ya mwenzake au wote wanaacha kwa ajili ya nafsi zao zilizopenda ?

    Issue ya kuichwa ipo regardless mtu umempata vipi.., nadhani cha maana hapa ni wale ambao wameachwa kama bado wanapenda wanakuwa wanapata maumivu bila hatia, (furaha zenu zinasababisha maumivu)

    Mkuu hakuna katiba wala sheria inayomfunga mtu kwamba asiweze kuacha ndio maana kuna mambo ya talaka.., mambo ya kifo kutenganishwa ni kwenye dini tena nadhani itakuwa ni dini ya kikristo (till death do us apart) lakini hii haipo popote pale pengine
     
  18. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    lizy sijasoma commets zote, ila hiyo ni kawaida sana mummy. istoshe hakunaga geni yote ni marudio tu.
     
  19. toghocho

    toghocho JF-Expert Member

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    ukweli ni kwamba kumuacha mtu kwa ajili ya mwingine ni mpapatiko (infatuation) yaani unajisikia kumpenda mtu kuliko normal, afu ghafla, hali hiyo huishia kwenye probability ya 50/50 inaweza kuisha ghafla au ikasonga mkamake strong relationship, lakini pia by nature watu hawaridhiki na walivyonavyo, so hutafuta namna ya kupata vingine, at the end hujikuta wakiona hata hivyo vipya havina maana!!!dot.
     
  20. D

    Dotowangu JF-Expert Member

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    unachosema kinaweza kuwa na ukweli maana nimejaribu kijivua gamba na sumu.. Ila anaonesha bidii ya kufanya kila lililo katika uwezo ili uhusiano usife..as for niko mguu nje mguu ndani..
     
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