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Kwa wasiowaelewa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Vaislay, Mar 5, 2012.

  1. Vaislay

    Vaislay JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Jun 26, 2011
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    jaman tusaidiane katika hili najua humu jf members tutakuwa tumekutananalo au tulikutananalo au tunakutananalo katika mahusiano yetu...,unakuwa na mpenzi ambae anakupeenda sana mpaka wewe mwenyewe unatambua kwamba mupenzi kafa kaoza,lakin tatizo linakuja kwamba mpenzi huyo anaugonjwa mkubwa wa kutokuwa mwelewa kabisa tena hasa kwa vitu vidogo vidogo tu,umejitahidi sana kumwelewesha na kumwambia tabia hiyo inakera lakin atabadilika leo, kesho anarud kule kule......... mtu wa hivi suluhisho au msaada ni upi wa kumweka sawa/aache mtabia huo nawe unakereka kila siku.
     
  2. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 5, 2012
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    Pole,nitarudi kwa ushauri!
     
  3. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #3
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Okey.... Naona kwa wasioolewa... ila sijaelewa kama tulioolewa twaruhusiwa kujibu.....

    Naomba niseme kua kuna tabia ambazo mtu (awe mwanamke ama mwanaume) hawezi badilika kamwe.... zipo za kubadilika ambazo sio zile tabia za msingi saana. But ile inborn ni kazi saana kubadilika. Ndio maana katika mahusiano kuna kitu kinaitwa compromise... Ni kitu cha muhimu saana. Kubadilika kwake huyo mhusika na baadae kurudi katika hali yake ni wazi kua ampenda mpenzi wake.... Ataka saana abadilike na kumridhisha mpenzi wake ila anashindwa na hatimae kurudi katika her true self. Hapo inachotakiwa kama ni kero saana hizo tabia huwezi ishi nazo basi let go.... Kama waweza ishi nazo basi vumilia na abadilike taratibu.... Haitapotea kabisa but yaweza pungua kiasi...... Best of Luck.
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    umilia tu
    ukishindwa ndo mnaachana
     
  5. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Aug 12, 2010
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    Umenikumbusha kuhusu thread niliyo anzisha leo ya "fireproof".
    Jamaa alikuwa ana mlalamikia sana mke wake kuwa ame change,
    hampendi,ana mjibu hovyo,hamwandalii chakula,...etc.

    Lakini alipo ambiwa na rafiki yake chanzo chaweza kuwa ni yeye
    alikasirika sana,akidai yeye "ana mfanyia kila kitu,anampa hela,kamnunulia gari,
    analipa gharama za nyumba" etc.....Lakin alisahau kwamba mke wake alihitaji vitu
    vingine kabisa toka kwake na alivyo kuwa anampa ni vya ziada tu na akawa anaacha
    kile cha muhimu kabisa "KUMPA MUDA MWENZAKE NA KUMSIKILIZA".

    Yeye alikuwa muongeaji sana,akitegemea mke wake awe mtekelezaji.
    Mara nyingi sana,watu wa kwanza kulalamika ndo huwa wana matatizo katika
    mahusiano husika,.....

    Chukua msalaba huo bro,mfanyie mwenzako vile unavo dhani "hustahili"
    kumfanyia kwa kuwa wewe ni "mwanaume" then utaona matokeo yake.

    Ila hayo yote yafanye kama kweli una mpenda,yata mvuta karibu na hata
    kama hakupendi basi ata jifunza kupenda,....ni kawaida yao wadada.

    Mara nyingi wanakuwa slow katika kupenda,lakini wakisha penda sio wepesi
    kuondoa mapenzi yao.

    Kuna principle flan za kuumizana nitazileta one day,....Hurt ni kama cycle.
    Kama una fikiria kumuacha unaweza kumuumiza,nae ataumiza,...na wewe utakuja kuumizwa tena na
    tena,....hebu tuvunje hii chain,......msikilize mwenzako.
     
  6. HOPECOMFORT

    HOPECOMFORT JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Feb 25, 2012
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    Vijitabia vyenyewe kwa mfano:simu yako imeita anataka apokee yy ukimkataza anaanza kununa,msg ikiingia kwenye simu yako anataka aanze kusoma yy,Kakupigia simu labda ulikua busy ukamwambia utamtafuta badae anasusa jumla,Kakwambia mkutane umepata dharura aelewi kama kuna ki2 kingine cha muhimu kumzidi yy.

    Hayo ni machache2 bt kweli yanaboa sana.Nadhani suluisho ni kumpeleka kama anavyotaka pale inapowezekana uku ukijaribu kumuelewesha kupitia kila 2kio bila kusau kumuonyesha kua haupendezwi na tabia zake.Hapo labda itapunguza
     
  7. mtzedi

    mtzedi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Dec 13, 2011
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    tabia ni kama ngozi
     
  8. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #8
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Speaker... I am so glad to see you are back to your old self....
    You look and sound better this way.... BTW nice analysis on the Topic.
    Be Good dear....
     
  9. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #9
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 16, 2011
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    Hapa una mtihani.... kama kweli iko hivi ulivoongea ina maana anataka awe treated kama mtoto mdogo na sio kama partner.... Haya mambo ni kueleweshana, na kueleweshana zina technique ya kumuingia mtu tegemea na jinsi alivo. sasa kama huyu yaelekea ni mlalamisha na mfuatiliaji. Kwa uande wa simu yeye kinachomfanya atake saana kuigusa ni tokana na tabia yako ya kutaka kuonesha kua hutaki aguse simu.... Na hilo ni ugomvi wa watu wengi.... Kama kweli huna la kuficha katika simu yako then basi iache hapo kila siku aipekue atakavo for within time lazima atachoka tu... hasa pale atapgundua kua you don't care.

    Swala la kusema wapokea simu kamba utampigia baadae na anachukia sasa huo ni utoto hadi yanifanya niwe curious ana umri gani.... Kama ni kweli hio baadae hupigi, ana haki ya kuchukia for inaonesha you don't care na inaonesha apenda saana attention yako. Na pia inabidi umueleweshe kua wampenda, na kwamba yeye ni wa muhimu ila kuna mambo mengine ya msingi ambayo hua wafuatilia na hukwamisha mawasiliano ama kuonana nae.... (kwa upole for amini usiamini watu tumepishana katika uelewa....) Msome what she likes, the ways she likes to be handled.... na itakua rahisi wewe kuishi nae....

    Alafu mbona hizo tabia zavumilika kabisa.... Hivi nyie hamjawahi kutana na wapenzi walo na tabia zilo pinda eeh?
     
  10. Albina

    Albina Member

    #10
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Feb 7, 2012
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    Una punguza siku zako za kuishi kama utataka kila simu inayo ingia ujue ni ya nani na ameongea nini.
    Kama anataka kukwambia alicho ongea atakwambia,kama akikaa kimya wala usi mfuatilie,utakufa kwa pressure bure kama
    sio kuzeeka mapema.
     
  11. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 5, 2012
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    heheh.....kama kichwa cha madenge!!! Lol
     
  12. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 5, 2012
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    umri pia unahusu.

    Kuna umri wa kuishi kitamthilia
    akivuka huo, wala hutapata shida.
     
  13. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 5, 2012
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    sasa kama wewe unaona huwezi kuzivumilia hizo tabia basi bora usepe maan huyo ataluwa na dosari machoni pako for the rest of ur lives.
     
  14. Albina

    Albina Member

    #14
    Mar 5, 2012
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    Nime upenda huo umri wa tamthilia hehe.
     
  15. mwaJ

    mwaJ Tanzanite Member

    #15
    Mar 5, 2012
    Joined: Sep 27, 2007
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    Kuhusu hiyo tabia ya kupekua simu na kufuatilia fuatilia kuna mtu mzima aliwahi kuniambia kuwa "katika hali ya kawaida kuku hana pembe lakini ukipekua sana kichwa chake utaona kama vile ana pembe hivyo utasema - kuku ana pembe". Tangu wakati huo naishi maisha yangu.
     
  16. KIKUNGU

    KIKUNGU JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 5, 2012
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    Ashadii,what views this is,you are really a great thinker indeed.You have touched a sensitive issue of compromise,hakuna binadamu ambae hana weaknesses,luck enough kama ni weaknesses kwa huyu mdada/mkaka basi naona ni vitu vidogo vidogo sana ambavyo vinakera yes lakini through communication even compromise with time vinaweza pungua au isha kabisa.Lakini kusema!"let go" kwa visababu hivi je ukipata mdada/mkaka anaefanya vitu vya ajabu zaidi ya hivyo,kama mchangiaji mmoja kasema kuna watu wamepinda itakuwaje.I salute you Ashadii,goodnite
     
  17. dubu

    dubu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 5, 2012
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    tulia, achana na videmu vya mtaani. inaonekana hujatulia so anataka akutulize. punguza wanawake mkuu.
     
  18. KIKUNGU

    KIKUNGU JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 5, 2012
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    Mwaj,umeniacha hoi,mbavu hata zinaniuma kwa hili.Yes issue ya simu kwa kweli ni very complicated to be honest,nilibahatika kua- attend semina kama mbili hivi za ndoa,ambazo theme yake generally ilikuwa SIMU KABLA NA BAADA YA NDOA lakini mtoa maada na Padre kwngu mimi walikuwa inconclusive kwani waliongele kiroho zaidi kushinda kimwili.Na sio watu wote ni wacha mungu,kuna watu wanabisha hata kama kuna mungu,sasa unapoongelea kiroho zaidi haiigii.Kama ulivyosema bora kuishi maisha yako.
    Back to topic,i think compromise is a real deal to me,afterall the mentioned issues are minor to most people's standard unless you'r Mr/Ms Perfect
     
  19. LuisMkinga

    LuisMkinga JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Mar 6, 2012
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    NW days tabia c kama ngozi mana mkorogo c upo
     
  20. K

    Kikombe kinafurika Member

    #20
    Mar 6, 2012
    Joined: Mar 2, 2012
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    Unaweza ukakuta tatizo la yy kuwa hivyo ni ww, na ww inabidi uangalie kwa upande wako pia.
     
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