Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Kwa wanaume na wanawake walioa/kuolewa tu.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee wa Rula, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 15, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Kabla ya mtu kuoa au kuolewa ni lazima anakuwa na vigezo vyake lakini mara baada ya kuanza maisha wengine hugundua kuwa aidha walikuwa sahihi au siyo sahihi kipindi walipotoa ridhaa zao na kwa sababu tayari wanakuwa katika ndoa inakuwa ngumu kuachana kwa sababu ndogo ndogo.
    Swali? Kama ikitokea watu wakapewa nafasi ya kuoa/kuolewa tena baada ya kuwa katika ndoa aidha ya kidini, kimila au kiserikali ni wangapi ambao wangechagua kuishi na wenzi wao wa sasa?

    Naomba kuwakilisha kwa majadiliano.
     
  2. Magulumangu

    Magulumangu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Jan 7, 2010
    Messages: 3,041
    Likes Received: 10
    Trophy Points: 135
    Mzee wa Rula kama mtu kaoa au kaolewa kimakosa nadhani hizo ndo ndoa zisizotarajiwa ndo maana unashauriwa kukaa na mpenzi wako kama bf au gf kwa muda fulani, ila ndugu zetu Waislam naona hiyo ingewafaa zaidi maana wao more than one mke wanaruhusiwa....KUMBUKA UKIMWI PIA mtu wangu....
     
  3. Mtumiabusara

    Mtumiabusara JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Nov 18, 2009
    Messages: 473
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    Hapa suala nafikiri si kukosea, bali ni hulka ya binadamu kupenda kitu kipya. Kwa mfano ukinunua gari jipya ukalitumia kwa miaka 3, lazima utagundua kuwa mtaani au katika soko kuna magari mapya ambayo ni mazuri kuliko lako, na bei zinaweza kuwa zinafanana. Kitendo cha kufikiri kuwa kitu fulani ni kizuri kuliko ulichonacho sasa haimaanishi kuwa ulikosea kununua hicho ulichonacho, bali ni suala la wakati.
    Ili kudhibiti hali hiyo, maisha ya ndoa inabidi yalindwe kwa taratibu ambazo ni tofauti na hulka za binadamu, hiyo ndo changamoto ya ndoa

    Wazungu wameliona hilo, na wanazingatia wakati wanaoana. Wanafunga ndoa ya mkataba. mfano tutakaa pamoja miaka 3, baada ya hapo tutaangalia tuendelee au tusiendelee
     
  4. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 50,075
    Likes Received: 9,782
    Trophy Points: 280
    Mkuu ni Wazungu wa nchi zipi wanaofunga ndoa za mikataba? Najua hili la ndoa za mikataba linazungumzwa sana katika nchi mbali mbali za magharibi lakini sijasikia hata nchi moja ambayo ndoa hizi zimeanza rasmi. Si vibaya kama ukatufahamisha Mkuu kuhusu nchi hizi za Wazungu.

     
  5. Mtumiabusara

    Mtumiabusara JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Nov 18, 2009
    Messages: 473
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    Mfano uholanzi, ujerumani, ubelgiji, ufaransa watu wana register marriage inayotambulika kama 'staying together' Hivyo wanaishi pamoja kama mke na mume, lakini kimsingi hiyo siyo ndoa, ni makubaliano tu ya hao watu kukaa pamoja na kutambuliwa na mamlaka husika. Wakichoka kila mtu anaanza, hakuna kudaiana kitu
     
  6. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 50,075
    Likes Received: 9,782
    Trophy Points: 280
    Nadhani katika hizi nchi kuna sheria ambazo BF na GF wakishaishi kwa pamoja kwa muda fulani kisheria wanahesabika kama mume na mke hata kama hawakuoana rasmi kanisani au msikitini. Sijui sheria zinasemaje kama walichuma mali pamoja katika muda wote waliokuwa pamoja, lakini bila shaka mali kama hii itabidi igawanywe 50/50 kama wataamua kuvunja uhusiano wao.

    Na hizi si ndoa za mikataba ya muda maalum maana hakuna mkataba uliosainiwa kwamba wataishi kwa muda fulani, lakini hili la ndoa za mikataba naona haliko mbali sana ila mateso makubwa yatakuwa kwa watoto watakaopatikana katika ndoa kama hizi.
     
  7. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: May 10, 2010
    Messages: 5,705
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 0
    apana
    asilimia tisini hawatapenda kuish na wake/waume zao
     
  8. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Ni kweli mkuu, lakini wapo watu kabisa baada ya kuoana baadae huanza kuregret kuwa ningejua nisingekuoa maana nilikuwa sijaijua vema tabia yako. Sometimes mtu anaoa wakati mke/mme wapo katika hali ya chini ya kimaisha halafu wakiwa pamoja kipato kinabadilika na hapo ndipo mgogoro unapoanzia. Ndiyo maana nikawauliza wanaJF kuwa kwa sababu zozote zile ziwe positive au negative ambazo mtu zinaweza kuwa zimemtokea katika maisha yake ya ndoa je kama anapewa nafasi nyingine ya kuoa atachagua kuishi na mwenzi wake ?
     
  9. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Nakubaliana nawe dada yangu Rose lakini unaweza ukanijuza japo skeleton sababu za mke/mme kutokukubali kuishi na wenza wao?
     
  10. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
    Messages: 13,141
    Likes Received: 207
    Trophy Points: 160
    Ukiolewa au kuoa mara ya pili - things will never be the same!!! Kubali au kataa ukweli ndiyo huo...

    Watafiti wa mambo ya mahusiano wanaandika hivi "...Kama mwanaume au mwanamke aliyeacha/aliyachwa angepewa nafasi ya kumrudia mwezi wake baada ya muda, asilimia 95% wangefanya hivyo..."

    Walio wengi huwa wanapata kuishi kwa taabu katika mahusiano ya pili - it is more or less of "sogea tuishi"!

    Mzee wa Rula hii comment ilitolewa jana kwenye thread fulani
     
  11. r

    rmb JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
    Messages: 224
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    Kwa mtazamo wangu haya yote ya kufikiria kupata nafasi ya pili ya kuoa au kuolewa tena yanatokana na wanandoa kujisahau mara tu ya kuoa/kuolewa kwa maana mara baada ya ndoa yale mambo mazuri mliyokuwa mnafanyiana yanapotea na kila mtu anajidai yupo bize na kazi na shughuli nyingine! Inakuwa kama alichokuwa anakitafuta kwa muda mrefu keshakipata so anaona hana haja tena ya kudedicate muda wake kwa mwenza wake.
     
  12. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145

    Thread gani DA? Naanza kupata na mshituko kidogo maana kuna thread nyingine kwenye jukwaa la MK mnimeitoa baadae leo nimeona thread nyingine yenye picha mbili kama zile tena ya tarehe ya nyuma kabla ya kwangu!!!!
     
  13. Mwanamayu

    Mwanamayu JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: May 7, 2010
    Messages: 5,763
    Likes Received: 463
    Trophy Points: 180
    muda wa uchumba ni miezi 6 mpaka miaka 2 (hii ni kama probation) zaidi ya hapo msifunge ndoa. Pia kama hafai mwambie ukweli unifai kwa sababu 1,2,3. ili wote muwe na amani. Ila ukweli ni muhimu sana na mwanaume lazima ujuwe ku-probe. Pia kuoa ni kama ut-toss dice, unaweza kuona umekosea na kuoa mwingine halafu utakuta bora hata yule wa mwanzo - yaani ni sawa na situation ya 'kuruka mkojo kukanyaga mavi'.
     
  14. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
    Messages: 13,141
    Likes Received: 207
    Trophy Points: 160
    Ile inaitwa "Wasichana wa JF ambao hamjaolewa" Kasome utaikuta
     
  15. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Hiyo inawezekana kabisa pamoja na kuzoeana, yaani watu wanapunguza ubunifu tena. Naunga mkono hoja ndiiii kwa kukonga hapo juu useful post mkuu.
     
  16. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
    Messages: 4,339
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    sasa mwanamayu, kipindi hicho cha kati ya miezi 6 mpaka miaka 2, hao wachumba watakuwa wanachakachuana au?
     
  17. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Nimeiona DA ila ina utofauti na hii yangu. Yangu mimi ipo kinadharia sana, yaani mme/mke ambaye yupo katika ndoa hajaacha wala kuachika ila wamekaa muda kidogo baada ya kuoana kama wakipewa nafasi je wanaweza kukubali kuishi na wenzi wao kama maoni yao au wangesema tofauti? Nadhani kama sijaeleweka, nieleweke hivyo.
     
  18. Fab

    Fab JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Apr 16, 2010
    Messages: 763
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    mie nadhani hio probation period haina guarantee ndio utamjua mchumba wako vyema,kabla ya kufunga naye ndoa.....kuna watu are good at kuficha makucha....!mtu anataka kuolewa unadhani hata ukimuweka probation ya miaka mitano utaona mapungufu yake???thubutuuuu....
     
  19. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
    Messages: 6,819
    Likes Received: 339
    Trophy Points: 180
    Ndio maana shemeji/wifi yenu amechagua kuendelea nami pamoja na mapungufu yote niliyonayo!
     
  20. Mzee wa Rula

    Mzee wa Rula JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Dec 16, 2010
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Messages: 8,161
    Likes Received: 39
    Trophy Points: 145
    Upo juu baba nami namuunga mkono huyo shemeji yetu tayari kesha kujua mapungufu yako na kuyakubali.
     
Loading...