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Kwa wana ndoa tu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kimbweka, Jan 22, 2011.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 22, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    Je umeshawahi kujiuliza maswali haya? Na uliyapa majibu gani? na uliyafanyia kazi? Nini matokeo yake? Na umepata faida gani?

    1. Ni nini kinachohitajiwa ili kuwa mume mzuri?
    2. Mwanamke anawezaje kufaulu kutimiza jukumu lake akiwa mke?
    3. Ni nini kinachohitajiwa ili kuwa mzazi mzuri?
    4. Watoto wanaweza kufanya nini ili maisha ya familia yawe yenye furaha?

    Karibuni tujadili
     
  2. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 22, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
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    Umetunyanyapaa ambao hatujaolewa ingawa tungeweza kuwa na ushauri hapo.
    Haya ngoja niaccept terms & conditions.
     
  3. Mu-sir

    Mu-sir JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 22, 2011
    Joined: Oct 12, 2010
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    unaweza kuchangia tu mi nadhani unaweza kutoa mchango mzuri zaidi ya walio kwenye ndoa. So, jimwage mama.
     
  4. Rugaijamu

    Rugaijamu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 22, 2011
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    kumbe hujaolewa...asavali ngoja niku pm tutete!
     
  5. D

    DON G Member

    #5
    Jan 22, 2011
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    eeeeeeeeeeeee bwana enh mi nadhani mume bora ni yule mwenye kutimiza wajibu woooooooooooooooote anaopaswa kutimimiza jibaba lolote ambalo limevuta mke!!!!! ikiwemo kumjali mke wake, familia yake na dugu na jamaa
     
  6. hashycool

    hashycool JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 22, 2011
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    Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.
     
  7. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 22, 2011
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    pm yangu giza nene. Kwanza tunaopm huwa hatusemi semi.
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 22, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Hivi hamna wanandoa humu??Ungeomba ushauri bila masharti..ona sasa wanandoa hawataki kujulikana kwahiyo hawachangii!
     
  9. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 22, 2011
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    Wanandoa mpo wapi mchangie? Au hadi tuwaite kwa majina?
     
  10. M

    Miss Pirate JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 22, 2011
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    kweli hii kwa wanandoa mana nimepata kizungu zungu na hayo maswali.
     
  11. Ennie

    Ennie JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 22, 2011
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    maisha hayana general formula inayo apply kwa kila mtu.
     
  12. G

    GodfreyTajiri JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 22, 2011
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    sasa hayo maswali yanabidi watu wajiulize
    kabla hawajaingia mkenge wa ndoa ili waweze
    kufanya uchaguzi/uamuzi mwema.

    na hilo sharti la kusema "kwa wana ndoa tu" limewafanya
    watu wauchune. panua uwingo mazee
     
  13. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 22, 2011
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    Napita tu, siruhusiwi kusema hapa:car::car:
     
  14. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 23, 2011
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    siafiki mama...hebu vaa miwani usome tena!!
     
  15. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 23, 2011
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    huafiki nini wakati heading ishajielezea.
    Haya nipe hiyo miwani ya mbao.
     
  16. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 23, 2011
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    2naotaraj kuja kua wanandoa 2bak az viewerz
    WAKUBWA NDO WANAOFAID
     
  17. NewDawnTz

    NewDawnTz JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 23, 2011
    Joined: Nov 15, 2010
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    Umeuliza maswali ambayo ni ya msingi na yanastahili kutendewa haki kwa kujibiwa kwa uzoefu wa wanandoa. Ni kweli kanuni moja haiwezi kufanya kazi kwa mwingine ila kanuni ni kanuni na inapotumika huweza kuleta manufaa.

    Mwanzoni mwa ndoa yangu (sasa ni kama miaka mi-4 tu na nusu hivi) tulikubalana na mwenza wangu juu ya kanuni za msingi za kuendesha ndoa yetu kwa mfanikio. Ndoa isiyo kuwa na kanuni haiwezi kuzaa baba bora, mama bora wala watoto waliofundwa na kulelewa vema. Kanuni lazima ziwe za ndoa na wala sio za mume au mke peke yake. Ni za kukubaliana pamoja. Tulipokubaliana tumeziweka "ikulu" kwetu na kila mara tuwapo ndani tunaziona na kukumbushana



    Kwa upande wangu, kanuni zetu za msingi ni hzi na unaweza kuzitumia ukaanza kuona matunda yake



    (i) Companionship ----hii inatilia umaanani namna unavyomchukulia mwenza wako kwenye mahusiano. Je unamchukulia kama sehemu yako ya muhimu ya maisha ambae bila yeye kuna kitu hakitakuwa sawa. Hii inatilia umaanani zaidi ile hali ya kama mwanaume au mwanamke kujiona kuwa ni mpungufu mahali Fulani kama mwenza wake hatakuwa sehemu ya maisha. Pale utakapokoma kumuona mwenzako kama sehemu ya muhimu sana ya maisha yako hapo ndipo utaanza kuona ladha ya ndoa yako inapungua.


    Kwenye companionship utakutana na kitu kinachoitwa gratitude. Hii ni ile hali ya kumkubali mwenza wako. Mpaka kufikia hatua ya kufunga nae ndoa lazima kuna vitu ulimkubali ndio maana ukakubali kufunga nae ndoa. Focus kwenye hivi vitu vilivyokupa kumkubali na kuamua kufunga ndoa kwa ahadi ya kuishi nae daima hadi kifo kiwatenganishe. Nikiweka msisitizo wa kiingereza naweza kusema Gratitude is the awareness of all the kindness your spouse does for you, of which you must recognize i.e appreciating your spouse's virtues, positive attributes and character traits. Unaweza ukajijengea kwa week kuweka kumbukumbu yam mambo matano tofauti nay a pekee ambayo mwenzako amefanya na yamefanya tofauti kwenye mahusiano yenu. Note and communiocate them.

    (ii) Completeness through understanding and forgiving; Kila mtu anaelewa ya kuwa hakuna mtu aliekamilika duniani. Wazungu wanasema “To err is human, to forgive is divine . Hakuna kitu cha muhimu kwenye mahusiano kama kutafuta kumsaidia mwenza wako kuwa mkamilifu kuliko kupambana nae. Kama utafanikiwa kwenye hilo la kwanza hapo juu utagundua pia unajukumu la kumsaidia mwenza wako kufikia ule ukamilifu unaoutaka huku ukijua ya kuwa sio malaika na wakati wowote anaweza kukosea jambo na hivyo utarudi tena na jukumu la kumrekebisha.

    Help your spouse towards seeking that wholeness you want to see in him/her. Usisahau ya kuwa na wewe mwenyewe unayo mapungufu ambayo yatahitaji yeye akuelewe na kukusamehe. All in all kanuni ya msingi ya mahusiano ya Bwana Yesu (kwa wale walio wa Kristo) “mtendee mwingine kile unachotaka wewe kutendewa”. Kama unapenda mwenza wako akuelewe basi jitahidi nawe umuelewe kwa karibu zaidi

    (ii) Communication.
    Hii ndiyo ya msingi ambayo inabeba hizo zilizotangulia hapo juu. Kama hakuna mawasiliano hapo ujue uko hatarini. Ndani ya nyumba yangu huwa kila mara lazima tukumbushane kwa utani mdogo. Huwa namuuliza mwenzangu, hivi kama nataka kuachana na wewe leo nifanyaje…huwa ananijibu “Ninyime nafasi ya kunisikiliza”…Yes indeed, a marriage without communication cannot survive. Mawasiliano ndiyo yanayotoa muongozo na muelekeo. Ndiyo chakula cha ndoa. Kila mgongano unaotokea mara nyingi athari zake unapokuja kuzitathmini utagundua ni kwa sababu mmoja ameshindwa kutoa nafasi ya kumsikiliza mwingine. Ukisikiliza hakuna litakaloharibika. Fanya assessment ya mahusiano yaliyo tata utagundua kusikilizana kumekwisha na sio kama ilivyokuwa hapo awali.


    Ni muhimu ujihakikishe katika haya

    • Je nimeacha kumsikiliza na KUMUELEWA mwenza wangu?

    • Am i a compulsive talker? Usipitilize kiasi ukawa wewe tu ndio unataka kusikilizwa.
    • Do you listen without presuming or judging? Je natafuta suluhu au natafuta nani mwenye kosa? Katika mawasiliano yenu central focus iwe ni katika kujenga uhusiano zaidi na sio kumtafuta aliekosea ili umpe adhabu…tafuta suluhu yenye kuhuisha uhusiano wenu

    • Je unasikiliza kwa kugusa au kwa kusikiliza? Mara nyingi nimejigundua kuna maelezo mengine siwezi kumuelewa mke wangu kwa masikio. Nahitaji mikono yangu iwepo kazini ndipo nitamuelewa. Sihitaji kuzungumza jambo akiwa mbali au kutafuta maelezo akiwa kakaa kochi jingine na mimi niko mbali..wakati mwingine nataka anieleze jambo ambalo linaleta utata nikiwa nimemshika na kumkumbatia au yu karibu zaidi na mimi. Kama naona hali hairuhusu labda ni jambo lenye kukera huwa naondoka kwa muda mpaka nitulie kisha narudi kuzungumza nae nikiwa karibu nae kama hakuna kitu kilichotokea, maadamu tu kutafuta suluhu…Yes, listening is not always done by the ears; sometimes it invloves holding or touching hasa kwa yale matata zaidi.

    • Je unawasiliana kwa uwazi na hu-take advantage ya kusikilizwa? Be a man/woman of honesty and integrity. Usitumie vibaya kusikilizwa na kuheshimiwa na menzako maana kunaweza kumuondolea kukuamini na ikawa mwisho wa kila kitu
    ZAIDI YA YOTE MSIACHE KUOMBA PAMOJA
     
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