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Kwa nini tunaachana sana siku hizi...? Kwanini talaka zimekuwa nyingi zama hizi....?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kimbweka, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Ameolewa jana na anataka amiliki jumba la uhakika kama fulani!
    Sababu zifuatazo zinachangia sana kwa kizazi cha sasa kuwa na rekodi kubwa ya wanandoa kuachana (divorce)
    Vijana wengi wanaingia kwenye ndoa wakiwa na matarajio ambayo si sahihi (unrealistic). Wanaingia kwenye ndoa wakiamini kwamba kila kitu kitakuwa perfect.
    ... Wanaingia kwenye ndoa bila ufahamu wa kutosha kuhusu nini kinafanya ndoa idumu.
    Jamii ya leo ni zao la jamii ya “mimi kwanza”, kila mmoja huweka mkazo katika kutimiziwa mahitaji yake.
    Kila mmoja anaimba
    "My needs, my needs, my needs"
    Na anakuwa kipofu na kiziwi wa mahitaji ya partner wake.
    Wanandoa wa sasa wanataka mambo makubwa, wanataka kuwa na kila kitu kinachopendeza macho hawakumbuki kwamba wazazi wao na mababu zao walipata kwa kujituma, kuvumilia na kufanya kazi pamoja na kuwa na ndoa nzuri zilikuwa nzuri kwa sababu waliweka efforts.
    Kila anachokiona kwenye Malls au store au mwingine anacho anataka na mpenzi wake au mume au mke amnunulie.
    Kazi kwelikweli!

    Wengi wanaoingia kwenye ndoa leo wanaingia huku wakiwa hawakuwa waaminifu (kabla ya kuoa au kuolewa) au alikuwa na wapenzi wengi.
    Baada ya kuoa au kuolewa na kuanza kumzoea aliyeoana naye huanza kupepesa macho na kwa kuwa ana mguu mmoja ndani na mwingine nje matatizo huanza na hatimaye ndoa kuelekea kwenye shimo na kapata sababu!

    Wanandoa wengi wanaoana bila kujua wazo la sacrifice ambayo inahitaji kuitoa ili kuwa na ndoa imara.
    Wanaamini kwamba kila siku wanandoa wanatakiwa kuwa na furaha na siku kukiwa hakuna furaha basi anaamini ameoa au kuolewa na wrong person, kitu ambacho si kweli.

    Wanandoa wengi wa sasa ni product za wazazi ambao nao waliachana (divorced) hivyo wanaingia kwenye ndoa wakiwa na mtazamo kwamba siku moja mambo yakiwa mabaya naanza mbele.
    Tena hawa ndo hutishia kwamba mimi nitakuacha, maana wanajua uchungu wa kuachwa na wanaogopa kuchwa wao so wanawahi wao.

    Wanandoa wengi wa sasa ni wavivu na hawana subira, kukiwa na tatizo dogo tu inakuwa kesi kubwa na pia hukata tamaa haraka kwa jambo dogo tu.
    Watu wa sasa wanaona mtu kupewa talaka ni kitu positive, ni ushujaa ni haki, ni uelewa wa masuala ya haki.

    Miaka ya nyuma kupewa talaka ilikuwa ni laana, ni aibu, ni kuonekana failure, dhambi na mtu aliyepewa talaka alikuwa na kibandiko cha maisha kwamba hafai, leo hakuna tena ndoa maana watu hawajali wala kuogopa kuachana.
    Ongezea na mengine ..............................!!!

    AMEN............!!!
     
  2. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 17, 2012
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    "La Revancha, Idingo na Phillipinos soap opera zinaua ndoa"
     
  3. K

    KENET JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Talaka zimekuwa nyingi kwa sababu siku hizi wanawake ni wengi sana kuliko wanaume.Zamani wanawake walikuwa ni wachache sana na ilikuwa shida sana kuwapata.
     
  4. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Sababu ya kuongezeka kwa talaka ni wanandoa kutoheshima ndoa zao, hakuna zaidi ya hilo.

    1-Mwanaume hampi haki mke wake, haki ya matumizi ya nyumbani, mavazi yake na kikubwa zaidi haki ya sex yani unatakiwa umchangamshe kitandani mpaa awe anajiona yuko dunia ingine, wengine wanadhani sex sio haki:bounce:


    2-Mwanamke kumnyima mme wake haki zake mfano kumpa good sex kitandani mpaa ashike adabu, asiwe tena anatamni sex akiona wanawake wengine, na kulinda nyumba yake kwa kuheshimu kama yeye ni mke wa mtu sio kila mmoja anakuja kupanda :biggrin1:
     
  5. IGWE

    IGWE JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 17, 2012
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    napita wakuu..
     
  6. Amina Thomas

    Amina Thomas JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Simu za mikononi nazo zinachangia sana.
     
  7. s

    sarikoki JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Hasante sana.... umeongea yote uko kwenye Red. Ni mbaya sana mtu kumchoa mme/mke wake,
    Yote hayo ni kutokana na kutokua wavumilivu, sacrifice hamna, unaona ni bora ungolewa na mtu fulani, yaani ni balaa tupu. Naona afadhali anaeondoka kuliko mwenye mme/mke alafu anakua na mpenzi mwingine nje... hao ndio mashetani wakubwa.
     
  8. s

    sarikoki JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Haswaaa... BBM, Facebook,Twitter, watsup, etc ..unajiuliza wewe mme au mke wa mtu huko kote unatafuta nini? wengine kila siku anatuma picture zake kwenye mitandao... kwa kweli mimi nalipinga sana hili.
     
  9. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Fafanua kidogo mkuu ..............................
     
  10. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Mkuu kwani lazimai we kitandani.....?
    Kuna kwenye masofa, bafuni, jikoni e.t.c
     
  11. Jodoki Kalimilo

    Jodoki Kalimilo JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 17, 2012
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    Pia hofu zisizo na msingi kwani watu wanaingia kwenye ndoa huku kila mmoja akiwa na mawazo ya kuachika mwisho wa siku inapotekea tatizo ambalo linaweza kuwa la kihisia au linaweza kuwa limetokea linasababisha watu wakatengana. Kama watu wataingia kwenye ndoa huku wakiwa wana imani kwamba wapo kwa ajili ya kujenga familia na hofu zote za kukatika mahusiano wanaoondoa mambo yatakuwa poa. Nimeshaoona mwanamke ana baadhi ya vitu lakini anaviacha kwao ukimuuliza jibu linakuja "wanaume hawatabiriki ukiachika itakuaje" na mwanaume unakuta baadhi ya vitu nae anaficha mpaka ndoa ifike miaka kadhaa ndio taratibu anaanza kumshirikisha wife. Watu waingie kwenye ndoa huku wakiwa na mawazo mazuri kuhusu ndoa lakini ukiingia huku unawaza mambo mabaya mbaya utaishia pabaya, sio ndoa tu hata katika biashara mtu anaefanya huku anahofu kubwa ya hasara siku zote hafaniki au mtu anaingia kwenye mkutano akiwa na ajenda ya kupinga kitu hata kama watu wataongea point hawezi kuziona
     
  12. Jodoki Kalimilo

    Jodoki Kalimilo JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 17, 2012
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    Kwenye swimming pool pia na kwenye gari
     
  13. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 17, 2012
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    y dont u give reasons zilizofanya ndoa za zamani/yako zidumu ili watu wa leo wazifuate otherwise its boring just to hear you complaining all the time.
     
  14. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 17, 2012
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    If its boring you, iache kwa wengine wanayoiona ina manufaa kwao...!!!
    Siyo lazima tufuate feelings/thinking/imagination zako....!!
    Catch the train and leave........!!!
     
  15. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 17, 2012
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    Ni kwa sababu mwanamke naye ameweza kusimama na kusema enough.!
    Zamani ilikuwa ni ndio bwana kwenda mbele sikuhizi no, wote ni bread earners, Na bado mmoja nataka kuleta mfume dume, dharau na ukandamizaji bila tija nonononooo!
     
  16. unknown animal

    unknown animal JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 17, 2012
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    watu wanaachana kwa sababu hawajui kwenye ndoa wanaenda kutafuta nini,ushenzi mtupu
     
  17. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Sep 17, 2012
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    its boring bcoz sioni suggestion ya kutatua tatizo. in the other thread you were basically saying 'vumilia ndoa la sivyo wewe ni kiruka njia' so between u and me nani anayelazimisha watu wafuate feelings zake? Now unasema wanandoa hawanaoni aibu/laana/dhambi wakiachika. instead of complaining zamani ilikuwa laana kupewa talaka(lol), give suggestions kupunguza talaka ktk ndoa za siku hizi as u seem so knowledgable in marriage problems.

    p.s: sijalazimisha mtu afuate fikra zangu
     
  18. Z

    Zion Daughter JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 17, 2012
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    U-much know umezidi sana.Wanawake wa zamani walikuwa wanyenyekevu kupita kiasi na hata wakionewa wanakubali tu.Siku hizi wanawake na wanaume wanashindana na Wanaume waliumbwa na kiburi.Hapo ndipo matatizo yanapokuja.
     
  19. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 17, 2012
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    Siyo lazima nikupe mimi solution...!!
    Huenda hata hapo ulipo jirani yako anaweza akawa na utatuzi...!!
    Wazazi, ndugu, mabibi na mababu wanaweza wakakupa solution!!
    Wewe mwenyewe ndo una ji-boring....hahahahaaa..
     
  20. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 17, 2012
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    u complain bila kutoa solution which is not helpful to anyone. u dont have to advice me personally, but if u feel so strongly that ndoa hazidumu then offer general solutions kama unazo. u dont do even that, so unaonekana kama mtu anayelalamika tuu.
     
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