Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Kutoka Upenzi hadi Uadui

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mhafidhina, Feb 9, 2011.

  1. Mhafidhina

    Mhafidhina JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 9, 2011
    Joined: Feb 6, 2008
    Messages: 548
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Wanajamii nawasalimia wote, wakubwa kwa wadogo, Wake kwa Waume...!

    Naomba kuuliza, hivi huwa ni kitu gani kinachochea au kinasababisha wapenzi waliokua wakipendana kwa dhati na hatimaye kubadilika na kuwa maadui kwa kuchukiana hadi kutamani kuuana, kutishiana maisha, kupigana, kuumizana, kufunguliana kesi na hata kupelekana polisi n.k.?

    Nasema hivi kwasababu nimeshuhudia watu waliokua wakipendana tena walikua wamevalishana hadi pete za uchumba sasa wameishia kuwa Maadui kiasi kwamba wanatamani hata kutoana roho...!

    Pengine labda mnaweza kuchangia au kutoa ufafanuzi, ni nini haswa huleta hali kama hii katika mahusiano? Na hali kama hii inaweza kukabiliwa vipi?

    Natoa haja.
     
  2. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 9, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
    Messages: 3,013
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Hasira, kinyongo, kutokusamehe vinasababisha hayo.cha kufanya ni mtu kujitaidi kuamini mtu uliyekutana naye ukubwani hawezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee. Achana nae raha jipe mwenyewe maisha lazima yaendelee!!
     
  3. SaidAlly

    SaidAlly JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 9, 2011
    Joined: Jan 22, 2011
    Messages: 1,593
    Likes Received: 326
    Trophy Points: 180
    Coz LOVE and HATE are similar but moving with the same speed to different directions. When things goes wrong, then efforts turn opposite and moving on same speed. Meaning: The power used in LOVE change to HATE. Je? Hushangai Mwanaume kumpata Mwanamke aliye kuwa akimtokea mwanzo anamtukana?? Mapenzi Kizungumkuti!
     
  4. AIZAK

    AIZAK Member

    #4
    Feb 9, 2011
    Joined: Dec 13, 2010
    Messages: 87
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Ndugu ahsante sana kwa topic nzuri,siku zote wapenzi hawagombani kwa kile wanachofikiria hugombania.
    Na wala si mambo yale makubwa manne;pesa,watoto,mapenzi au wakwe..Wapenzi wengi hugombana kwa sababu bila ya kudhamiria husababishiana aibu na uoga kati yao.

    Kwa sababu ya unyonge au uoga wa mwanamke, mwanaume typically hujibu with protection/support.
    Lakini iwapo mwanaume hajui kuprotect/support or feels like a failure as a protector, he is likely to turn the aggression kwa mwanamke (mara nyingi katika form of criticism, "superior reasoning," control, etc.) au kuongoza by withdrawing in frustration (stonewalling or going quiet). Hasira au uwithdrawal wa mmwanaume often stimulates anxiety or fear of isolation in women, hata kama hasira ya mwanaume haina uhusiano wowote na mwanamke

    Kwa ujumla mwanaume is likely kuzuia discussion yoyote, be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if he experiences or is trying to avoid the experience of failure as a provider, protector, or lover. A woman is likely to be critical, defensive, or contemptuous if she experiences (or is reminded of having experienced) fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation.

    sasa kama wapenzi wasipoweza kuelewa hizi unconscious, interactive dynamic waweza kufikiria wana matatizo ya mawasiliano and will likely continue to provoke anxiety and shame in each other as they try to talk. They will begin to think that they have a bad, insensitive, or selfish partner, and eventually give up on the relationship without understanding the primitive emotional mechanism that did the real damage.

    ahsante sana mtoa mada.
     
  5. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 9, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
    Messages: 2,056
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 135
    Utoto, upuuzi, kutokujiamini na ufinyu wa uelewa!!
     
  6. c

    chelenje JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 18, 2010
    Messages: 556
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    couple ni two forces moving in the same direction,when altered they cancel each other(+ and -) the result will be zero(kifo)
     
  7. Maria Roza

    Maria Roza JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Apr 1, 2009
    Messages: 6,750
    Likes Received: 26
    Trophy Points: 145
    Hiyo ni dalili ya kuwa bado wanapendana:twitch:
     
  8. Mhafidhina

    Mhafidhina JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Feb 6, 2008
    Messages: 548
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Ndugu,

    Hii post yako imekaa vizuri lakini naona kama ipo kifilosofia sana. Unaweza ukainyambulisha kwa lugha rahisi kwa mtu wa kawaida kuelewa kirahisi...! Asante kwa post yako nzuri na iliopambanua vizuri...!
     
  9. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Jan 6, 2011
    Messages: 4,564
    Likes Received: 15
    Trophy Points: 0
    Walikuwa hawajapendana hao, hawajui kuna kitu kinaitwa kusamehe?
     
  10. Mhafidhina

    Mhafidhina JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Feb 6, 2008
    Messages: 548
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    LD,

    Ulichosema ni kweli kabisa...! Hasira, kinyongo na kutosamehe huwa vinachangia sana katika kuharibika kwa mapenzi...! Swali linabaki, je ni vipi mtu anaweza kujifunza kusamehe, kupunguza hasira, na kuondokana na kinyongo? Manake hivyo ndio vyanzo vya matatizo yote kabisa sio katika mapenzi na mahusiano tu, bali hata makazini, maofisini hata mitaani pia. Endelea kujadili tafadhali...!
     
  11. Mhafidhina

    Mhafidhina JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Feb 6, 2008
    Messages: 548
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Huwa tunaambiwa katika suala zima la mapenzi na uhusiano watu huwa wanabadilika, mtu alikua hivi leo mtu kabadilika kawa hivi...! Je, ni vipi unaweza kuendelea kumvumilia mtu aliebadilika katika mahusiano, ingawaje hapo mwanzo uliweza kumpenda na kuona ni yeye tu katika dunia hii (kwa sifa alizokua nazo)? Tafadhali endelea kuchanganua hoja ili tuweze kupata ufumbuzi wa changamoto kama hizi katika mahusiano na mapenzi...!
     
  12. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
    Messages: 3,013
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Kwanza tujifunze kurahisha maisha, mtu kakukosea hata kama ulikuwa hutegemei jaribu kuona kwamba huyo mtu humfahamu kiivo coz ameishi duniani let say miaka 30 we umekaa nae miaka 3 tu, kwa hiyo bado hicho kilichotokea hakiwezi kufanya maisha yako yasiendelee.
    Jaribu kufikiria kwa nini uubebeshe moyo wako mzigo? Mpende akupendaye asiyekupenda achana nae aende kwa amani, usibebe watu moyoni mwako.

    Daaa mi huwa naamini mwanadamu hanipunguzii kitu wala haniongezei kitu maishani mwangu kama Mungu hajamwezesha. Kwa hiyo ukiwa na mimi kwa amani ashukuriwe Mungu, Hauna amani na mimi nenda kwa amani tu, unakuwa binadamu wa kawaida. Na imenipa amani,sina maadui, ila kila mtu ana nafasi yake moyoni mwangu.
     
  13. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Yaani nimeshindwa hata cha kusema maana kama ulikuwa rohoni mwangu UMEMALIZA KILA KITU
     
  14. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Thanks for this useful post Said
     
  15. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Well Said Mkuu Big up
     
  16. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Hayo maneno niliyobold naona kama yametoka mdomoni kwangu. Ubarikiwe bidada
     
  17. Rodcones

    Rodcones JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 16, 2007
    Messages: 395
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 35
    baadae nitarudi
     
  18. Mhafidhina

    Mhafidhina JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 10, 2011
    Joined: Feb 6, 2008
    Messages: 548
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 0
    Asanteni sana kw amichango yenu mizuri, lakini swali linabaki, je ni vipi watu tunaweza kujifunza kusamehe kabisa? Je ni vipi tunaweza kujifunza kusahau haswa tunapokasirishwa na kuudhiwa na wapenzi wetu? Marafiki zetu?

    Je inawezekana kusamehe na kusahau moja kwa moja?

    Naomba tuendelee kuchangia na kutoa maoni yetu ya kujenga na kuboresha...!
     
  19. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 11, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,065
    Likes Received: 14,289
    Trophy Points: 280
    Too much hate is love
     
  20. Mamushka

    Mamushka JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 11, 2011
    Joined: Feb 17, 2010
    Messages: 1,611
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    Yani wewe unamajibu yenye akili kishenzi.
     
Loading...