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Kutambulisha watoto kwa boyfriend/girlfriend mpya

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by EMT, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Miezi saba baada ya kuvunjika kwa ndoa yake, tayari J.LO ana boyfriend mpya. This time ameamua kuchukua kabisa toyboy mwenye umri wa miaka 24. Toyboy tayari kesha move in to help out with the children. Ndugu na jamaa wa J.LO wamesikitishwa sana na kitendo chake cha kuanza ku-date toyboy (ambaye ni dancer wake) miezi saba tuu baada ya kuvunjika kwa ndoa yake.

    Zaidi wanadhani hii itawaadhiri zaidi watoto wake. Mama yake na J.LO amekataa kuongea nae akidai “The kids are struggling to understand what’s happened with their father and mother. Then, all of a sudden, there is a new father figure in their life.”

    Kuwa na uhusiano mpya mara baada ya kuvunjika kwa ndoa inaweza isiwe tatizo kwa watu wengi. Lakini kitu ambacho kinaonekana kuwakera wengi kwenye mitandao, ni huyo toyboy wake ku-take charge ya watoto wake ndani ya mwezi tokea waanze ku-date.

    Inawezekna kusiwe na gold standard time ya ku-introduce your new boyfriend/girlfriend to your children, lakini ni sawa ku-introduce watoto wako kwa boyfriend/girlfriend wako mpya ndani ya mwezi mmoja tokea muanze dating? Au kwa upande wa wanawake ndio tunaishi dunia ya independent woman?

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  2. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Hivi huku kwetu Manzese na Mlandizi tuna kitu kama hiki??

    Babu DC!!
     
  3. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Aisee, hakuna!
    Mtu, ndani ya miezi 7 tu anawachezea watoto wangu kiasi hicho kama alisaidia kushikilia matendegu?
    Kimsimgi mama anaachiwa watoto kwa sababu anaaminika kuwa ndiye atakayewalea vizuri kwa ukaribu zaidi. Lakini inapokuwa ulezi wenyewe ndio huo wa ku'date that early, mmmhhh!
     
  4. Maundumula

    Maundumula JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Hehehe huyo dogo akae mkao wa kuondoka maana his days are numbered!!

    Mi nilijua kwa Anthony ndio amefika ukizingatia wote wa Latino.
     
  5. Lily Flower

    Lily Flower JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Hata kibaigwa hakuna hii kitu, kwanza husubutu kukutwa na bwana pepsi.

     
  6. T

    Tikerra JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Kama ni hawa sawa,si unaona jinsi walivyoharibika,matatoo,vimini nk.uovu mwendo mdundo.
     
  7. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Zama hizi Dunia imevaa kaptura......sishangai!!!
     
  8. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    Nadhani ni kila mtu kuamua kutokana na uwezo wake wa kuhandle consequences.
    Kwa upande wa watoto nadhani you should only introduce them to somebody if you are sure he is there to stay. Vingine wataamini kua wanaume come and go, like their father, like the dancer, and like anyone else who will come in mama's life. But maybe she knows how to handle that...
     
  9. Maundumula

    Maundumula JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Lakini watoto wanaonekana wapo komfotabo na huyo mshikaji teh teh teh

    Anajaribu kuziba pengo. wanasema wahenga kwamba, wanawake wenye watoto wanae wakikupenda tu baasi hata mama kama hakupendi hana jinsi.
     
  10. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 27, 2012
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    RR,

    Mie nimeishia kushangaa na kujiuliza mambo ambayo labda ni ya kizamani kama mimi...
    Na pia inawezekana kwa sababu tunatoka katika mazingira na makuzi tofauti, ndo maana vitu vingine vinaonekana havijavuka mpaka!

    Yaani kutendo cha kufikiri tu kwamba siku moja, dume jingine lije licheze na watoto wangu (ambao nimeaminishwa na mama yao kuwa ni wangu) kabla sijatumiwa salamu za R.I.P, nahisi uchungu sana!

    Anyway, najua hii haiwezi kutokea mbele ya macho yangu nikiwa mzima wa akili na mwili!!

    Babu DC!!
     
  11. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 27, 2012
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    Kumbuka hao watoto wanahitaji Baba, na kama umesema huyu anakua kama anaziba lile pengo. Sasa vikija kuisha na huyu unadhani watoto watachukuliaje? Si wanaweza kuumia tena kama walivoumia wakati baba yao aliondoka? how many time will they take that?
     
  12. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    [​IMG]

    Tutakuzoea tu ila trade marker imepotea kwa muda!!

    Umepona tatizo lako??

    Babu DC
     
  13. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Mi sioni ubaya wa mwanamke kum-introduce mwanaume wake mpya kwa watoto, na huyu mwanaume mpya kujenga uhusiano wa karibu nao. Kama wameachana na yule wa zamani, basi ni kawaida awe na mtu mpya na huyu mtu mpya awe part ya maisha yake.
    Shida inakuja anapo lazimisha hhuyo mtu mpya kua part of the kids life. Kwa nini??? They have been dating for only a month and God Knows how long it will last.

    Kwa nini asisubiri kidogo wale watoto wakubali kwanza kua baba ametoka maishani mwao? Na huyu mpya, how long will he last? Kama yeye anauwezo wa kuhandle kubadili partner every now and then (because she knows the role they play in her life) watoto kama hawa ni vigumu sana kujua the role of mama's boyfriend.

    Mara nyingi watamlinganisha na baba and they will be disappointed huyu 'baba mpya' akija kuondoka.
     
  14. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    Dah mwanaume ana moyo
    Mapema hivyo kashaanza kuchezea na watoto wa mwanaume mwenzake
    Ila huyo yupo yupo tuu na anajijua ni wakupiota sio wa kukaa muda mrefu aise
     
  15. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

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    Huyu jamaa inaonekana ni mjanja sana...

    Huyu mama aombe Mungu tu vinginevyo tunaweza kusikia habari zisizofurahisha.

    Mwanamume yeyote mjanja anajua kuwa kwa kujipendekeza kwa watoto, na wakikukubalia basi umemmaliza mama...Ni kama umemnywesha piriton!!

    Babu DC!!!
     
  16. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    Watoto wanaweza kuonekana comfortable kwa nje lakini kama binadamu wengine wanaweza kuwa na mixed feelings kwa ndani. Hata wataalamu wanaelezea umuhimu wa timing.

    The importance of timing

    Ideally, you shouldn't think about introducing a new partner until your children have got used to the fact that you're single. They need time to adjust and accept that your relationship with the other parent is over and there's no chance of reconciliation. If the ending of your relationship has been triggered because you've met someone else, you will have to work harder to reassure your children that this person is not the cause of the breakdown.

    Whenever the introduction happens, make sure it's low key. A first meeting will often work best around an activity such as ten-pin bowling or a trip to the park. Subsequent meetings should build gradually and be taken at your children's pace.

    Be sensitive

    There are so many negative myths about step-parents that it's easy to assume that your children are going to react badly. But in reality, most simply want their parents to be happy. However, while they may want you to meet someone else, they may also struggle with the impact that will have on their relationship with you. If you've been single for a while, they may be used to having you to themselves.

    Feelings of jealousy are natural and your children will need your help to understand that a couple's relationship is different from that between a parent and a child. If your former partner is still single, then your children may want to spend more time with them to prevent them from feeling lonely.

    Realistic expectations

    Just because you love your new partner, it doesn't mean your children will. And, just because you love your children, it doesn't mean your partner will. It's going to take time, patience and commitment to build a relationship between your children and your new partner.

    Moving forward together

    Children may view a new partner with suspicion if they think they're being kept in the dark about your plans. Ensure you include your children in these decisions as far as possible. Stepfamilies can and do work. However, they're complex and need special care and attention. You and your partner need to discuss openly and honestly the challenges that your new relationship will bring.

    BBC - Health: Introducing a new partner
     
  17. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    Tunazungumza nini hapa?Maisha ya Jlo au kuwa na boyfriend mpya/mdogo,kuhusika kwa huyo dogo katika maisha ya watoto wa Jlo au tunajadili mahusiano yake?Sijaelewa nichangie nini!But Jlo's private life has nothing to do with me!
     
  18. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    mmmh, kama kule kwetu
    wangepiga mbiu, na mkutano wa kijiji ukaitishwa.

    Amewabemenda watoto akili.
    Afu huyu kijana anamchezeshwa mtoto huku kaptura yake ikituna hapo mbele!!!!
     
  19. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    Soma mada vizuri. J.LO ametumiwa kama mfano tuu.
     
  20. Sooth

    Sooth JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 27, 2012
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    ......JLO ana breki za DCM!
     
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