Kusudi la "Date" ni nini hasa na utaratibu uko vipi?

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

Utamsikia mtu anasema "nina ki-date" au "they are dating" au "I'm not dating anyone". Ikumbukwe "date" kama ilivyo ni mojawapo ya mifumo ya mahusiano ambayo ni migeni katika jamii yetu. Je kudate ni kumtongoza mtu, ni kufukuzia, au ndio kutoka na mtu? Au kudate ni hatua tu kabla ya uchumba? Je watu wanaweza kudate bila kuwa na mahusiano ya kingono? Ni kwa muda gani wa kawaida mtu anatakiwa kudate kabla hajaamua kuhusiana kingongo (the first date rule?)

Je, ni vipi vilivyo vizuri katika mazingira yetu katika kudate? Should girls ask guys out for date au wasubiri kuombwa? Je kudate basi ni sawasawa na "to ask somebody out" a.k.a 'kumtoa'.

Je ni umri gani kwa watoto kuanza kuruhusiwa kudate (shule ya msingi, sekondari au baada ya 18)? Na kabla ya hapo wakiwa wanatoka pamoja tunasema nini ni "marafiki tu"?

When should you bring your date home to meet your family? Should you even bring just any date?

How many dates should you have before you move into courtship and possibly marriage?

Je mtindo huu wa kudate ni mzuri kuliko mtindo ule wa zamani wa Kiafrika ambapo watu walikuwa wanatongozana, wanaanza kutoka taratibu na mambo yakiiva "posa" inaletwa nyumbani na ndipo mtu anatambulishwa kama rasmi?

 

[ndetichia]

mpka mwisho mm sijajua nini maana ya kudate msaada please..

 

[Mamndenyi]

MzeeMwanakijiji achana na date,
kuna dili kwa Mtambuzi,
je ameku-pm,
haya ya kudate tuwaachie akina feisbuku na wenzie.

 

[utantambua]

Ni mambo ya wazungu wabongo tukaiga bila kujua nini maana yake

 

[Mzee Mwanakijiji]

MzeeMwanakijiji achana na date,
kuna dili kwa Mtambuzi,
je ameku-pm,
haya ya kudate tuwaachie akina feisbuku na wenzie.

he! dili gani tena!? Nimeamua kupumzika siasa kidogo baada ya matukio ya hivi "karibuni."

 

[kiritimba]

mpka mwisho mm sijajua nini maana ya kudate msaada please..

Hujaelewa nini sasa? Kudate ni kutarehe!

 

[Sordo]

Tunadakia tu train kwa mbele maana hatujui exactly relative meaning ya kudate, wengine wanamaanisha just chating, kuhusiana kingono n.k!

 

[Tausi Mzalendo]

Utamsikia mtu anasema "nina ki-date" au "they are dating" au "I'm not dating anyone". Ikumbukwe "date" kama ilivyo ni mojawapo ya mifumo ya mahusiano ambayo ni migeni katika jamii yetu. Je kudate ni kumtongoza mtu, ni kufukuzia, au ndio kutoka na mtu? Au kudate ni hatua tu kabla ya uchumba? Je watu wanaweza kudate bila kuwa na mahusiano ya kingono? Ni kwa muda gani wa kawaida mtu anatakiwa kudate kabla hajaamua kuhusiana kingongo (the first date rule?)

Je, ni vipi vilivyo vizuri katika mazingira yetu katika kudate? Should girls ask guys out for date au wasubiri kuombwa? Je kudate basi ni sawasawa na "to ask somebody out" a.k.a 'kumtoa'.

Je ni umri gani kwa watoto kuanza kuruhusiwa kudate (shule ya msingi, sekondari au baada ya 18)? Na kabla ya hapo wakiwa wanatoka pamoja tunasema nini ni "marafiki tu"?

When should you bring your date home to meet your family? Should you even bring just any date?

How many dates should you have before you move into courtship and possibly marriage?

Je mtindo huu wa kudate ni mzuri kuliko mtindo ule wa zamani wa Kiafrika ambapo watu walikuwa wanatongozana, wanaanza kutoka taratibu na mambo yakiiva "posa" inaletwa nyumbani na ndipo mtu anatambulishwa kama rasmi?

Hapo pamenifikirisha....
Kwani "date" hiyo uliyoizungumzia hapo mwanzo na mtindo uliouita "wa kizamani", kuna tofauti?
Date ni kutoka msichana na mvulana wanaopendana.Kiafrika kuna dhana ya kulinda heshima ya wazazi na ndio maana wanao date hawaweki uhusiano wao bayana kama watu wa magharibi.Miaka hii ya utandawazi watu wako wazi zaidi hata kama kiafrika haikubaliki bado.Kinachotokea kwenye date kinajulikana na hata tafiti zinaonyesha watoto na vijana huanza ngono mapema sana siku hizi.

 

[s.fm]

Mara nyingi watu tunapenda ku-conclude jambo especilly pale ambapo tunatumia maneno ambayo hatuna uhakika nayo "Dating" ni mwanzo wa kutengeneza mahusiano, kupeana ahadi mkutane wapi ili mpate nafasi ya kuongea, kufurahi na mara nyingi inakua katika hali ya kutongozana.
Lakini sasa...wengine katika hizo "date" wanamalizana huko huko (kufanya mapenzi) ndio maana uhalisia na neno hilo unaisha na kuleta maana nyingine.
kibongo pia yale yale, utasikia eti "anatembea nae" au "anatoka nae"

 

[MkimbizwaMbio]

The Definition of Dating
A large number of the emails I receive from readers ask me to define what a "date" is. If the guy at work asked me to coffee, is it a date? We hang out almost every day, but haven't kissed yet - are we dating? Does having sex mean we're now a couple, or are we just dating?... and so forth.

A recent discussion in the forums (The Definition of Dating) also debated this same question recently. What on earth is a date? And does the definition of dating differ depending on the circumstances of the two people involved? (i.e. sexual orientation, age, culture)
In my opinion, a date refers to an activity two people share together with the intention of getting to know each other better on a potentially romantic level.

This differs greatly from 'hooking up' which usually describes a casual get together between two people that may or may not be sexual in nature. Two people who are "dating" therefore, have shared several dates together and have made it clear to one another they are interested in more than just a friendship - even if so far the exchanges have been purely friendly in nature. Dating is, essentially, getting to know someone over an extended period of time to determine if a relationship is something worth pursuing.

Still, I am curious. I'd love to hear from the readers of this blog what their definition of dating is, and why.

 

[ndyoko]

Hahahaaaaaaaaaa! Umenikumbusha jamaa yangu mmoja, yeye huenda mbali zaidi kwa kufananisha 'dating' sawa na EIA. Kila anapotoka na mchuchu anayemtaka basi utamsikia akisema kuwa anaenda kumfanyia demu EIA (environmental impact assessment'). Akiona hana vigezo basi atakwambia.........aisee ile EIA report imekuwa 'rejected'-akimaanisha kuwa amemtema.........

 

[Fidel80]

Je, ni vipi vilivyo vizuri katika mazingira yetu katika kudate? Should girls ask guys out for date au wasubiri kuombwa?

Hili limekaa vizuri Mwanakijiji napenda tuendako huko iwe hivyo wadada wawe wanaomba haki yao.

 

[feis buku]

mzeemwanakijiji achana na date,kuna dili kwa mtambuzi,je ameku-pm,haya ya kudate tuwaachie akina feisbuku na wenzie.

ma mdogo jamani na mm nataka dili nitoke jamani! Date date ni wimbo wa taifa dili kusaka mahela!acha niku pm

 

[Cantalisia]

Mie naona ni vizuri itolewe elimu na hata maana ya date,
Yani wengine wanaitumia kinyume,kwa mfano imenitokea hivi:
Limtu tumekutana kwenye sherehe tukapiga story,na kwenye kuvunja kamati likaja likang'a ng'ania mpaka nikalipa no yangu tukawa tunawasiliana eti akaniomba mtoko nikakubali,

siku ya siku tukaelewana nimkute mahali nikaenda mwenzenu nafika pale hata story bado ananambia keshachukua rum,hapo jiran kuna hotel, yani sijawahi kasirika gafla km siku hiyo nikamwambia ngoja nanunua vocha nakuja nikasepa mazima!

Asa hii ndio date au mtu ukikubali kudate ndio na ulishakubali na kutobolewa jaman!!!

Kudate ni kutoka na mtu mkawa mahali mkaongea na kufahamiana inatakiwa hata km uko na interesti hapo ndio unamchunguza mtu na kujua namna ya kumuingia na km na yy yuko na hisia hizo, then badae unaweza kujipanga kumtokea baada ya kudate naye kwa mda,hii ni kwa uelewa wangu.

 

[Ulimakafu]

Nijuavyo ni miadi.

 

[Mamndenyi]

he! dili gani tena!? Nimeamua kupumzika siasa kidogo baada ya matukio ya hivi "karibuni."

dili la kutahiri mkuu,
jaribu kum-pm.

 

[Mamndenyi]

ma mdogo jamani na mm nataka dili nitoke jamani! Date date ni wimbo wa taifa dili kusaka mahela!acha niku pm

hilo dili wewe huliwezi mrembo wangu,
anza kufuga kucha kwanza ndo walau utaweza kufanya hiyo kazi.

 

[Dr Lizzy]

Kudate ni kutoka pamoja, as in spending time together katika harakati za kufahamiana zaidi na kuangalia kama kila mmoja anamvutia mwenzake kimapenzi. Kwahiyo "dating " inaanza rasmi pale mnapoamua kukutana/toka pamoja kwa nia ya kufahamiana na kutengeneza mahusiano iwapo mtapendezwa kufanya hivyo baada ya kufahamiana. Hivyo kufukuzia sio ku'date ila kutongoza (hapa namaanisha kumwaga sera za "navutiwa sana na wewe, hivyo ningependa tuwe wapenzi rasmi" yaweza kufanywa wakati wadating.

Ndio ,dating yaweza kufanyika/endelea bila mahusiano ya kingono ila kwa vile siku hizi hiyo nayo ni nyanja ambayo watu wanapenda kufahamiana ili kujua kama chemistry inatiki na wako compatible basi imekua sehemu ya dating kwa wengi. Kuhusu wakati gani usubiri ,well hamna anaeweza kuamua zaidi ya wahusika. Wengine wanataka hata kiss chap chap waone kama hamna sparks and fire work achape zake mwendo.

Nani aombe ,nani asiombe
.. .yeyote yule mwenye ujasiri wa kumuanza mwenzake baada ya kuona kuna kitu kati yao/angependa kiwepo. Wakati mwingine unaweza kusubiria na kuambulia hola kumbe mwanaume alikua anakuogopa/hajiamini mbele yako. Mpaka hapo sioni tatizo la mdada kumwambia mkaka "wanna/lets meet up for a cup of coffee" na kusubiria akubali au akatae, na akikubali unasubiria kuona kama atakua interested na second date na kuendelea.

Kidate unakipeleka nyumbani pale wote mnapoamua/ona/kubaliana kwamba mnataka kuwa na mahusiano yanayoweza kuwafikisha ndoani.Maana ukifanya kabla ya hapo unaweza kujikuta unatambulisha kila mara maana we unaweza kuwa umezama kwa mwenzako wakati he/she doesn't find you that much interesting na hana nia ya kuendeleza(persue) mahusiano ya kimapenzi na wewe.

Baada ya muda gani itangazwe ndoani/uchumba ,
. . . I would suggest when you both feel like you KNOW one another, and I mean really really know one another. Usiache nafasi kubwa sana ya majuto.

 

[Kongosho]

Kudate? Sina definition nzuri, ila nadhani ni kutoka na kufahamiana na mtu kwa nia ya kuunganisha miili yenu.

Procedure/formula: be ur self from day one

Lini mtu anaruhusiwa leta kidate home: haruhusiwi hadi atakapoleta mchumba rasmi kwa ajili ya kuoa au kuolewa

 

[Crucial Man]

mimi nijuavyo,huwa inaanza ku hang out,pale mnatoka mnabadilishana mawazo,na kumsoma mwenzio ki ahina,then baadae mnaanza kudatiana ukimdate mtu it means that mnabanjuana au mnavunja the sixth comandment.so kudate ni ku du nae.thats why mara nyingi tumesikia,they are not only hanging out,but they have gone too far to an extent of dating.ni mtazamo wangu tu wana jf.