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kusaidiwa!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Jamaa baada ya kusota miaka mingi bila mtoto, na vipimo vya kitaalamu kuashiria kwamba hana mbegu za kuweza kumpa ujauzito mkewe, alimshawishi rafiki yake kipenzi (aliyejaaliwa watoto wawili) kumsaidia, angalau naye apate mrithi wa mali alizochuma (zisipotee bure).

    Katika makubaliano hayo, alimlipa kiasi kikubwa tu cha fedha kumzima/kumpooza shemeji mtu, ili makubaliano hayo yaishie baina ya nyumba mbili hizo. Baada kupita miezi sita mfululizo mheshimiwa rafiki akijitahidi 'kupandikiza mbegu' bila mafanikio, marafiki hao wawili na wake zao wakachukuzana mpaka kwa dakitari kuulizia kulikoni.

    Majibu waliyopata yaliwaacha midomo wazi!, mheshimiwa rafiki naye hakuwa kabisa na mbegu za kumpa ujauzito mwanamke yeyote (tangu kuzaliwa kwake).

    Kumbe, hata hao watoto wawili yeye hakuwa baba mzazi!

    Imekaaje hii bandugu? nani wa kulaumiwa na 'kiushauri' utalitatuaje?
     
  2. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

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    duh!! kasheshe hiyo sasa mamsap wa huyo rafiki yake sijui aingie mitini... utaanzaje we!! ni kuzua balaaa noma sana.. si angekwenda kwa sperm bank naye.... ah hivi alimpa ruksa kabisa huyo beste yake kula mavituz?????? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
     
  3. Timtim

    Timtim JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 5, 2009
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    Kutokujuwa mambo ya sperm bank. Na hizo si bank si zipo huko kwenu ama huku kwetu kichakani wapi utapata huduma hiyo? Kumbuka huduma hiyo pia ina gharimu pesa nyingi kwani kuna vipimo na shughuli yenyewe ya kupandikizwa itakayokuhitaji kulazwa hospitalini. Sasa short cut ya mjamaa ilikuwa ya kubana matumizi. Hakuwa na uchoyo kwani nadhani wao wanajijuwa kwamba lazima kila mwenye ndoa anaiba nje kujivinjari. Sasa kwa token kiasi angepata mtoto wa kwake.
     
  4. Timtim

    Timtim JF-Expert Member

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    Kwenye Sperm Banks utapata mbegu bila mamatatizo muhimu ni pesa yako ya matibabu hayo. Lakini iwapo wewe ni Mmasai uende upandikizwe mbegu ya jamii ya ki Zenji au jamii usioijuwa kabisa. Itakuwaje huyo mtoto akizaliwa? Maana iwapo ni Muhindi utasema unataka mbegu za kihindi lakini in deep mambo baadae naona si shuari. Mtoto anaweza kubase upande wa ile mbegu ulioinunua hospitalini.
     
  5. K

    Kafara JF-Expert Member

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    waendeleze tu suala la siri zao na safari
    hii itabidi rafiki aruhusu mkewe amegwe
    na jamaa na arudishe nusu ya pesa aliyochukua.
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...kula n'kule :D ! ...yaani jamaa mshtuko wa kutambua watoto si wake, bado unataka rafikiye ajivinjari na huyo mama watoto wake pia? ha ha haaa... yataka moyo!

    Nawasikiza kina mama baada ya wikiendi watavyolivalia njuga hili, si unaona shishi alivyoruka kimanga! ...in no particular order,... nyamayao, Belinda Jacob, mwanajamii1, penny, Joyceline, pretty, WoS, na wewe hapo shishi :D na wengineo, njooni hapa mtupe mtizamo wenu kuhusu huyu 'mbeijing' mwenzenu 'alivyolikoroga!'
     
  7. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Loh! nimecheka mie, haki ya ww hii inaonyesha jinsi baadhi ya wanawake wasivyokuwa waaminifu kwenye ndoa zao. Anyway mie naona huyu mama aliamua kuzaa na mwanaume mwingine mara baada ya kuona miaka inaenda hashiki mimba. Akaona bora ajaribu nje labda atapata. Hii ipo sana ktk jamii.
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...:D Pretty, pretty, pretty.....! kwahiyo akishapata mimba huko nje ni busara kuuchuna kimyaaaaaaa!?
     
  9. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 5, 2009
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    Mbu!
    Kwanza hiyo habari niliisoma nikashtuka,ughaibuni kuna mambo lakini ha ha..

    Jamaa aliyesaidia kumpa mimba rafiki yake kwanza lazima amechanganyikiwa maana mkewe noma yaani kumbe watoto wote wawili siyo wa mumewe. Kwahilo lazima huyo mwanamke lazima alaumiwe.

    Ila kama asingeombwa kumsaidia kumpa ujauzito mke wa rafiki yake asingejua yote hayo kuhusu hao watoto,ingekuwa afadhali ila ndo hivyo kalea watoto kumbe siyo wake tena ndani ya ndoa akiamini ni wa kwake.
    Pia inawezekana huyo daktari alikosea au hiyo test haidanganyi??nimtetee mbeijing mwenzangu, huh!

    Wanaume muwe waangallifu ila msishtuke ni wachache tunafanya hivyo maana unakuwa na mumeo huku wengine wana kidumu kidogo sasa ni ngumu kujua mimba ya nani, ila hatufanyi makusudi ni kutojua na kufwatilia kwa sababu ya ndoa na wengine wanajua kuwa mimba siyo ya mume basi unauchuna tu kuogopa aibu na kuachika. Yaani mtoto akizaliwa ndani ya ndoa na mke wako ni mtoto wako..vinginevyo DNA ingekuwa tunafanya kiholela TZ,ndoa nyingi zingeporomoka!...
    Siri ya mtoto kuhusu baba yake ajuaye mama!
     
  10. Yo Yo

    Yo Yo JF-Expert Member

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    Sijakusoma.....
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...:D ha ha ha Belinda umezungusha zungusha maneno, umejiuma uma halafu mwisho umechapa bakora "...yaani mtoto akizaliwa ndani ya ndoa na mke wako ni mtoto wako"... duuuuh! yaani unalazimisha ikubalike tu japo ukweli unaujua, ha ha haaa...
     
  12. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    Kama mume hajashtukia si mtoto wake na mke hajui au kaficha ukweli mwisho wa siku inajulikana mtoto ni wa wanandoa hao..Halafu mtoto anaweza asifanane na mume watu wakasema labda kafanana na mjomba,shangazi n.k.labda badala ya mwafrika atoke mzungu, huh!
    Hapo kwenye hiyo story msaidizi nae kasaidiwa kupata watoto bila kujijua!..
     
  13. I

    Ipole JF-Expert Member

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    Hiyo imekaa vibaya saana maana mimi katika umri wangu nwa miaka 51 sjawahi kusikia watu hupeana magari au kuazimana lakini mke na wkulaumiwa ni huyo bwana aliyetoa mke wake sadaka maana ndiye aliye sababisha mpaka akamuumbua na yule mama wa mwanzo mmmh
     
  14. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 6, 2009
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    ...busara hizo mkuu, busara! shukran :)
     
  15. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Sio busara,sasa afanyeje? na wakati mumewe hana uwezo wa kutoa manii za kuwezesha kupata mtoto. La msingi huyo bwana akubali kulea watoto kwa kuwa wamezaliwa ndani ya ndoa yao. Kama ni ndoa ya kikristo sheria inaruhusu kuwa ni watoto kwa maana wamezaliwa ndani ya ndoa yao.
     
  16. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #16
    Apr 6, 2009
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    .. Jamani unajua haya mambo yanachangiwa na vitu vingi na si ukosefu wa uaminifu tu.

    Huku kwetu wote tunafahamu kuwa mtu unapoolewa basi kifuatacho ni kuproduce watoto. Na usiombe ukawa na mawifi, wakwe wenye upendo na mtoto wao kwani lawama zitakuja kwako wewe mwanamke. Haiwajii akilini kuwa inawezekana mtoto wao ndiye mwenye matatizo. Imezoeleka sana kuwa anayeleta mtoto ni mama which is wrong.

    Hali kama hii mara nyingi huwa inachangia kwa kina mama kupata presha pale wanapokaa muda mrefu bila kupata mtoto utasikia akiitwa tasa, mgumba huku mawifi wakianza oh unajaza tu choo cha kaka yaani huwa ni tabu tu kwa upande wa mke.

    Pili dhana ya kuwa inawezekana mwanamume ndio mwenye tatizo huwa halipo so utakapoanza kumshawishi mwenzio mwende mkapime majibu yake utatamani unywe panadol kwa maumivu. Na mwingine anakwambia kabisa mimi nilishawahi kumpa mimba demu hii yote ni kwa kuwa haamini kuwa yeye anaweza kuwa na tatizo. Tena mke waweza kuanzishiwa kesi kuwa ulipokuwa msichana ulikuwa mtundu sana inawezekana ulizichomoaga nyingi tu.

    Sasa hali kama hii inaweza pelekea mke ajaribu kwingine (Yametokea sana haya- ushahidi ni kile kipimo cha DNA pale Muhimbili).

    Ushauri: Wanaume muwe na tabia ya kucheck uwezo wenu wa kutuzalisha kina dada kabla hamjaoa sio ukiamka tu asubuhi na kumkuta mfalme kasimama dede basi unajihesabu rijali unaishia hapo. Nenda kacheck sperm count, check kila kitu ili uwe unajijua ulivyo.

    Hawa wanaume katika hii hadithi ndio wenye makosa: Hawakujicheck kabla.
     
  17. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #17
    Apr 6, 2009
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    Tafuteni filamu moja ya kinigeria inaitwa Intimate Stranger: Ameigiza Richard Da Mijo aka Pastor Ken
     
  18. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 6, 2009
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    hivi mie sielewi watu wanawekagaje mambo yao humo ndani, mume angemshauri mama akaokote mbegu kwingine kokote sio kwa mtu wa karibu hivyo, je baadae huyo nae akija kutoboa siri inakuwaje?anatembea huko nje anashika mimba yake asonge na familia yake kama ndio ilikuwa plan yao,hapo kwingine jamani ni shughuli looo, mie nasema tu siku zote baba wa mtoto amjuae ni mama.
     
  19. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    Mbu,
    Hii shu bana... nadhani inabidi tuanze kuichambua na kupata kiini hasa cha mihangaiko na harakati kama hizi.
    Hili suala la kuzaa mara nyingi lawama huwaendea wanawake na hata kama mwanaume ndiye mwenye makosa, jamii bado humlaumu na kumsakama mwanamke.Wanawake wengi wamekutwa na dhahama hii na wengine japo wamepimwa na kukutwa safi, waume hukataa kwenda kupima katakata kwakile ati kinachoaminiwa kuwa hakuna mwanaume asiyezaa!

    Kuna wanawake hata wanaume wenye ule moyo wa kuvumilia na kukubali hali - ikiwa ni pamoja na kunyooshewa vidole kua hawazai ( mgumba/tasa).Kuna wengine wana roho nyepesi na hawa ndo hujikuta wakitapatapa ali mradi wafiche aibu mbele ya jamii.Katika hali hii, enzi za zamani familia ilijitahidi kusaidia ikiwa ni pamoja na kuomba msaada kwa ndugu ( kaka au ndugu wa kiume wa mwanaume) na mtoto alipozaliwa ilibakia kuwa siri nzito ya familia.

    Kwa miaka ya sasa ndo unakuta self-help spirit - matokeo yake ndo aibu kama hizi.. hakuna safety nets tena kama zamani.Kilichobaki wakubali matokeo tu a wavumiliane hivyo hivyo.

    Nimekumbuka kisa nilichosikia hapa karibuni.
    Familia moja iliingiwa na mitafaraku.Walikuwa na mfanyakazi wa kiume.Kumbe alikuwa na affair na huyo mama.Siku moja huyo mfanyakazi akawa amefanya makosa hivyo baba mwenye nyumba akamwachisha kazi.Hiki kitendo cha kufukuzwa kazi kilikuja ghafla na hakuwa tayari kuachishwa kazi. Huyo mfanyakazi akaona amtumie huyo mama kumnusuru.Wakati wanaongea, huyo jamaa akamwambia huyo mama, kama usipoweza kuzuia kufukuzwa kwangu basi itabidi niondoke na huyu mwanangu tuliyezaa.Kumbe baba anawasikiliza.Baadae huyo baba naye akashindwa kuvumilia akapaaza sauti... na "wewe mama nanhii, lile toto lako lenye bichwa kama mpiga matofali aliyekua hapa, sitaki kuliona hapa nyumbani kwangu,".Mtoto aliyekuwa anamsema ndiye yuleyule ambaye jamaa anadai ni wake.Jamaa kusikia hivyo akawa na shaka kuwa kumbe hata yule mtoto si wake huenda ni wa jamaa mpiga matofali.Jamaa alitimka mbio bila mtoto na yule baba mwenye nyumba akawa amefanikiwa kuepusha ile aibu ambayo angeipata kama jamaa angeondoka na yule mtoto.Hapa nadhani tunaona matatizo ya wanandoa wanaoshindwa kupata watoto na kukataa kukubali hali zao na kutafuta mbadala ulio bora.
     
  20. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    Kina mama huwa wakali pale mume anapovunja uaminifu anapoanza mahusiano nje ya ndoa, lakini linapokuja suala la mke kuzaa nje ya ndoa, kina mama wengi huleta kila sababu kulainisha uzito wa kosa.

    ...linapokuja suala la UAMINIFU, sidhani kama kuna lolote jingine linalohalalisha kuvunjika kwa msingi huo, hata kama ni kwa sababu za kuinusuru ndoa kutokana na kero ya jamii inayomzunguka.

    Mwanamke ana cheat, analea mimba, mtoto anazaliwa... anakua na kuanza shule nk,... Kwanini hamwambii ukweli mumewe kabla/baada ya yote hayo mpaka DNA au msukosuko wa maisha uje kutoboa siri hiyo?
     
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