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Kuoa kwa kuchelewa kuna faida gani?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by jimba, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. j

    jimba Member

    #1
    Apr 16, 2009
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    Hi wana JF,
    naomba kupata mawazo yenu kuhusu kuoa umri ukiwa umeenda, kuna faida au hasara gani?
     
  2. P

    Pascal Mayalla JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 16, 2009
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    Kuna faida na hasara zake.
    Kwa kuanzia faida ya kuchelewa kuoa, unakuwa more mature, umemaliza pilika pilika za moto wa ujana, hivyo unakuwa umetulia.
    kitendo cha kutokimbilia kuoa mapema, kinakupatia muda wa kutafakari kwa makini, wewe ni mtu wa aina gani, na ungetaka nani awe sehemu ya maisha yako mpaka mwisho wa maisha yenu, hivyo by waiting,you have everything to gain and nothing to loose.

    Ila huko kungonja, kusiwe kungonja sana mpaka umri wa ujana unakutoka, ndipo unao umri wa uzee inapoanza.

    Hasara za kuchelewa sana kuona ni kuwa modern life is very fast, hivyo kuchelewa kuoa, unachelewa kujenga familia, life fun inapungua hivyo unaendesha boring life for the rest of your life. Watoto wako badala ya kucheza na baba, wanacheza na babu-baba au baba-babu.

    Tatizo jingine la kuchelewa kuoa, ni kukomaa kwa tabia za ujana kwenye maisha yako na kuwa ndio order of the day, hivyo ikiwa womanizer, katabia hako kanaingia kwenye damu, hata ukioa, haubadiliki.

    Pia sio vibaya nikumegea faida za kuoa mapema sana na hasara zake.
    Mimi nilioa at 25 mara tuu baada ya kumaliza chuo, mke nae nilikuwa nae chuo. life mwanzo ni vurugu tupu, unajidhania ulipenda huku damu inachemka, ukisikia wife anasafiri, unafurahi maana ni viwanja kwa kwenda mbele. Hivyo nilikuwa sijatulia na kabinti kadogo wivu mwiingi.

    Faida ni kujenga maisha mapema, kujipanga vizuri na kujenga familia at the fun time. by now, my boys ni kama wadogo zangu na vibinti ni vidogozake wife and sasa ndio kwanza goodtime life imeanza, no more viwanja, ni family outings ama mambo ya starehe za kiutu uzima kama bend.

    Pia usiogope kuoa mapema utapitwa, haupitwi kwa sababu mambo ya kujinafasi bado yapo, yalikuwepo na yataendelea kuwepo na yanakuwa ni ya kiutu uzima zaidi, ni ya staha na heshima mbele, fujo fujo no.
     
  3. Kandambilimbili

    Kandambilimbili R I P

    #3
    Apr 16, 2009
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    Hakuna faida wala hasara, cha muhimu unatakiwa uoe pale ambapo unaona uko tayari na ujue nini utawaandalia watoto wako.

    NOTE: Kuwahi na kuchelewa ni subjective, sijui kama kuna umri ambao ni standard.
     
  4. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Ukichelewa kuoa/kuolewa pia unawakosesha haki watoto wako kama ifuatavyo:
    1. Ukienda kushiriki shughuli za shuleni kwa mwanao/wanao, utaonekana mzee ilhali wenzao wazazi wao wanaonekana bado vijana
    2. Utakuwa huna nguvu( energy) ya kukimbizana na malezi ya watoto na kwa msingi huo wakati mwingine watoto wako watakuwa spoilt kids
    3.Wakati wanakuhitaji kwa mambo mengi yenye kutaka resources nyingi mfano kwenda vyuoni n.k. wewe ndiyo labda unataka kustaafu na hivyo hutaweza kuchacharika kutafuta fedha.
    4.Watakapofikia umri wa utu uzima, si ajabu wewe ukawa haupo ( uzee na kifo) na hivyo kukosa miongozo na busara zako.
     
  5. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 16, 2009
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    a.Kuna swala la kustaafu unakuta mtu anafikia umri wa kustaafu mtoto wake wa kwanza yupo darasa la nne /STD 4 hii ni kwa kina baba.

    b. Umri unakwenda kwa baba ana kuwa mtu mzima mama ndo kwaaaaaanza anakuwa mbichi kuna swala hapa la kuibiwa wife hivi hivi na wanaume vijana.Hii ni kwa wale akina baba wanao oa wanawake wenye umri mdogo wkt yeye ana umri mkubwa.
     
  6. N

    Nyauba JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 16, 2009
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    jamani mbona bado ni fumboooo...

    ndo kwanza nimeingia age ya 35 halafu tamaa za kuoa zipo mbali.. nifanyeje???
     
  7. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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  8. Shishye

    Shishye JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 16, 2009
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    Hakuna umri standard wa kuoa ila kuna mitizamo standard ya kuwa umri huu umechelewa. Ukioa na miaka 25, 30, 35 hakuna minong'ono. Ukielekea kwenye 40 na kuendelea tunaanza kukuweka kwenye hili kundi la kuchelewa kuoa.

    Wengine wanachelewa kuoa kwa kuogopa wanawake, wengine kuogopa majukumu, abnormalities, n.k. Kimsingi tunayemzungumzia kwamba amechelewa kuoa ni yule ambaye yuko single completely (Maana wengine hawajaoa lakini wana wanawake na watoto kila kona au wanaishi nao part time...).

    Ukichelewa kuoa utataka bado kuanzisha familia (watoto na mke wako) pale utakapooa. Umri wa wanawake kuzaa uko limited, kwa hiyo binti utakayemwoa lazima awe mdogo sana kuliko wewe ili aweze kuanza uzazi. Gepu la umri kati ya mme na mke inakuwa kubwa mno kiasi kwamba mke anajiona kama vile anaishi na baba yake ndani!. Hii inaathiri mahusiano, mke hajioni kama partner... hana say ya kutosha ndani ya familia maana anamwogopa mumewe. Hata kwenye mambo ya 'kiutu uzima' hawawezi kujaribu vitu vipya na ku-enjoy kwa pamoja maaana binti anajiskia kama vile lazima amsikilize mzee anachosema. N mzee naye hana jipya la kuleta master... binti anaboreka. Nafikiri ndio hii dhana ya mke kumwita mume 'mzee' ilikotokea. Kwenye maamuzi mengi yaihusuyo fmilia lazima 'mzee' aamue.

    Mawazo na mitizamo ya hawa watu wawili hayawezi kuendana (thinking alike!) wakati mke yuko moto anawaza mambo fulani ya ujana, mme anawaza jinsi ya kumalizia kijumba chao na investment kama hizo kabla hajastaafu. Marafiki wa hii familia ni very interesting! Baba na mizee menzake.... bibie na vibinti/vijana wenzake imagine; hawa watu kukaa pamoja na kuongea ni nadra sana na mara nyingi hakuna mazungumzo - tension ya age difference.

    Wakibarikiwa watoto, baba anakuwa na mchango mdogo sana kwenye malezi hasa ya infants. We mzee mzima wenzako wanawaza school/college feees we ndio uko bize na nepi, wapi na wapi. Automatically baba anamwachia mama hiyo kazi.

    Option ya family planning ni finyu sana kwa watu hawa. 'Mzee' anajua ameshachelewa sana hivyo akianza ni shughuli non-stop ili asichelewe zaidi. Matokeo yake watoto utafikiri mapacha!

    Bado siioni faida ya kuchelewa kuoa.
     
  9. AljuniorTz

    AljuniorTz JF-Expert Member

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    Unataka kupata mawazo yaliyo-base kidini au kiujana zaidi; hayo yote unaweza kuyapata kifaida na hasara zake za kuchelewa kuoa.
     
  10. P

    Petu Hapa JF-Expert Member

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    Nani kakwambia ni lazima uoe! Kama unaona maisha yapeke yako ni happy, poa tu. Kama unataka kuishi tu na mwezi yote sawa. Lakini, maisha ya wawili ni matamu sana, kunavituko huko na raha za ajabu. Unaweza deka mtu mzima, ukanuna, ukawa dikteta -bado mkalala kitanda kimoja - suluhu zinapatikana - tabasamu zinarejea mnaanza kama mlikutana jana vile, umvute shavu, mwenzio kanuna basi umchekesha mpaka acheke-- na lazima atacheka tu. Na ukijaliwa watoto, duh! maisha yanakuwa sio mchezo! Raha tupu! Wakianza kucheza mpira ndio kabisa unajisikia kidume cha mbegu, na mama ishallah mungu kaujalia uzao wake neema.
     
  11. Zakumi

    Zakumi JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna utafiti wa kisayansi unaosema kuwa wanaume wanaopata watoto wakiwa wazee, wanapata watoto wenye IQ ndogo kwa sababu ya genes mutations. Pamoja na hayo sina mpango wa kuoa.
     
  12. P

    Petu Hapa JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 17, 2009
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    Nadhani ni kwa jinsia zote mbili!
     
  13. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    kila mwanaume aliotoa mawazo hapa baadhi wanasema hawana mpango wa kuoa . Kulikoni? sababu n nn hadi mtu unaogopa kuoa? Kumbukeni uasherati ni dhambi na Mungu aliweka swala la kuoa kwa makusudi yake ya maana.
     
  14. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Cha muhimu hapa hata kama unachelewa kuoa lakini inabidi mtu akumbuke kuaandaa future yake na ya watoto wake. Maana kama umechelewa kuoa ina manaa utakuja kuzaa watoto kipindi ambacho nguvu za kufanya kazi zinaisha, hivyo muhimu kutumia ujana wako kufanya kazi kwa nguvu na juhudi ili utakapopata mke na utakapooanza kutotoa watoto basi una akiba ya kutosha ya kulea watoto, kuwasomesha elimu zote hadi chuo. Hapo utakuwa umefanya la maana hata kama umechelewa kuoa.
    Muhimu jenga future yako kama mwanaume, sio kukimbilia kuoa halafu unaanza kumpa tabu mdada wa watu bure, hakikisha kila kitu kipo sawa.
    Kuna usemi usemao "mwanaume hazeeki".
     
  15. P

    Pascal Mayalla JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 17, 2009
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    Du!. Mie na umri huo tayari nina miaka 10 ya ndoa na watoto 2!. Ila sio siri nilikuwa sijatulia na wife alikuwa 23, binti mdogo. Ukioa mapema sana shida, ukichelewa shida. Huu sasa ndio umri muafaka ukizidisha unachelewa.

    Wenye hoja za kutokuwa na mpango kabisa wa kuoa, wanamatatizo ya kisaokolojia ya social life ila hawajijui. Na ukizoea sana kuishi kisela au kubadili kama nguo, mwishowe unakuwa huwezi tena kutulia.

    Kuna wanao ogopa kuoa kwa kufikiri ni jela flani hivi, kumbe hizo line mnazoogopa zitafunga, ndio kwanza zinafunguka kwa mtindo bora zaidi, raha zaidi na heshima zaidi.
     
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