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Kuna Watu ni " Marriage Material" Na Kuna Wengine ni " Dating Material Only"

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kaldinali, Sep 8, 2012.

  1. K

    Kaldinali JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 8, 2012
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    Wakuu

    Leo nataka nitoe maada ambayo ntaomba na nyie mchangie ili kuipanua na kuifafanua zaidi ili pamoja tuweze ku-fill the puzzle na kujifunza (of course najua kuna baadhi ya nutcases (kama kawaida) watakuja na maoni ya dharau na matusi wakati watu tunajaribu kujadili mambo muhimu ya kijamii without disrespecting anybody).

    Over time i have come to realize kwamba kuna baadhi ya watu hawafai kuwaoa au kuolewa nao. Hawa ni watu ambao kwa wakati huo ulio nao in a relationship (na sometimes always) huwa hawako mentally or psychological ready for marriage. In other words, kuna baadhi ya relationship zinatakiwa kuwa strictly temporary and should never be turned into marriage.Watu hawa ni kama kunguru pori ambao kamwe hawawezi kubadilishwa na kuwa njiwa wakufuga(domesticated). Unapokuwa unatafuta mchumba wa kuoa ni vyema ukawa muangalifu na kuwa na uwezo wa kutofautisha kati ya watu wanaoweza kuja kuwa mke au mume bora na mtulivu vs. wale ambao ni watu wanaofaa ku-date only for a while.

    Si kwamba watu hawa wasio marriage material ni watu wabaya as such. Ukweli ni kwamba ni watu wazuri unaoweza kujenga nao urafiki na kuwa-date na mambo yakaenda vizuri tu na wote mkafurahia uhusiano wenu. Jambo la muhimu ni kuelewa tu kwamba thats all that will come out of that friendship or relationship (nothing more nothing less). Na muhimu kabisa ni kuepuka kufanya kosa la kujaribu kutaka kuwaoa au kuolewa na watu hawa wasio marriage material. Ukifanya kosa hilo utakuwa unatia maji kwenye gunia au kusubiri meli uwanja wa ndege. Utakuwa unajikosea wewe mwenyewe na kumkosea yeye. Ni muhimu kutojaribu kumbadili kunguru kuwa njia. it is a collosal technical mistake. However, a caviat is necessary here. Baadhi ya watu hawa (wachache) huwa kunguru for a while na huweza kuja kubadilika mbeleni due to (1) timing issue eg labda bado wadogo sana na hivyo ni immature at the time (2) circumstances - eg kuwa na shida nyigi mno zinazowalazimisha kuwa kunguru at the time. Kwa hawa wachache kuna tendency ya wao wenyewe kuja kubadilika baade (sio wewe kuwabadili) na kuwa njiwa after a long period of learning, growing or maturing.

    On the other hand, kuna baadhi ya watu ambao by virtue of their nature (just the way they are) ni watu watulivu, bora na wanaofaa kuoana nao (njiwa ambao by nature ni domesticated species). Watu hawa ni hard to find lakini ukijaliwa kuwapata basi utafanikiwa sana katika ndoa, maisha na furaha ya familia. Jambo la muhimu ni kuwa na uwezo wa kutofautisha na kuwajua hawa. Muhimu zaidi ni kuepuka imani ya kuwa unaweza kumbadili kunguru akawa njiwa. However, a caviat is also necessary in this case. Every now and then kuna tendency (over time) ya njiwa kuweza kubadilika na kuwa kunguru due to either avoidable or unavoidable circumstances. it is necessary to study your partner and catch signs of a njiwa that is about to go bad in order to stop them before they are damaged.

    Wakuu, ni muhimu sana kuweza kutofautisha njiwa na kunguru pale unapokuwa unatafuta mwenzi wa kujenga nae maisha na familia. Itasaidia sana harakati zako za kutafuta mme/mke mwema na kupunguza idadi ya talaka huku tukiongeza idadi ya familia bora na zenye furaha Tanzania.

    Nawakilisha.
     
  2. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 8, 2012
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    Mtaalamu wetu,

    Tuelekeze huyo anaefaa kuwa rafiki mzuri na mka-date na kufurahia lakini asiyefaa kuwa mke/mume ndo kakaaje?
     
  3. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 8, 2012
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    Kuna ukweli katika uliyoyasema...n u were very smart including all those exceptions.
    Heheh...huez pata th whole package mkuu??! A kunguru while on dates n a njiwa kwa house??!
     
  4. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 8, 2012
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    well said mkuu, but kuna wengine huwa kunguru ktk dates ila baada ya ndoa akatulia mpaka ukashangaa. na watu wakasema dada/kaka flan kabla hajaolewa/oa alikuwa hashikiki ila baada ya ndoa katulia ajabu. kuwapata hawa ni nadra sana kwani huwezi kumbadili mtu bali mtu mwenyewe huamua kubadilika. na kuna wengine huwa njiwa "hasa sie kinadada ili tu kupata ndoa" na akishaingia tu mwanaume utajuta, hawa wapo wengi tu. .dawa ni kumwomba Mwenyezi Mungu atusaidie katika hili,ukizingatia twatoka ktk malezi tofauti!
     
  5. Root

    Root JF-Expert Member

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    Kunguru ni ngumu kuwa njiwa ila njiwa ni rahisi kuwa kunguru
     
  6. The Fixer

    The Fixer JF-Expert Member

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    Mie ni Husband Material !
     
  7. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 8, 2012
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    Afu 'vyunguru' wana mivuto balaa. Kuna mdada design hiyo ya kunguru alikuwa anatuambia "yani na huu uzuri wangu wote eti nimilikiwe na mwanaume mmoja; huyo mwanaume atakuwa mchoyo, wenzie je?". Japo alikuwa anasema kama matani...ndivyo alivyokuwa anawapanga.

    Ila kwa sasa ameolewa ...na sijuhi kama bado ni kunguru au kachenji kuwa njiwa.
     
  8. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Ni kweli aisee. Hata wanaume kuna wa kuuzia sura tu. yaani unakutana na mtu hana hata focus ya maisha, hadi unamshangaa ana mpango gani na miaka hii michache aliyopangishwa na mwenye enzi Mungu.
    ni kosa kubwa kumuona mtu ana kasoro na kutegemea ndoa itambadilisha.
     
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Wewe ni marriage material ????
     
  10. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 8, 2012
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    What do you think of me? not that it will matter, I'm just curious manake kuingiza watu chaka is a hobby,lol
     
  11. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    'dating material' lol
     
  12. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    So far so good, hehehe!
    So you can see yourself dating someone like me...
     
  13. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    someone like you?
    nope
    too high for me lol
     
  14. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Hahhaa, but you look like perfect chwunaring material! With a thick skin.
    Kongosho hebu njoo u-analyse hii mbuzi kama nafaa kuwamba ngoma..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  15. Nsiande

    Nsiande JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 8, 2012
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    Hahah

    Inanikumbusha hadithi ya Alice, Alice alifika kwenye njia panda akaulizia njia, akaulizwa unataka kwenda wapi? Akajibu sijui ninakoenda, akaambiwa kama hujui unakoenda, njia yoyote itakupeleka

    So you can find love kwa mtu ambaye unahisi ulikuwa ni wa kumchezea tu au wa kupitisha naye muda

    Na unaweza usioe au kuolewa na huyo 'marriage material' wako for the same reasons

    Nadhani wale ambao umri umekimbia sana ndio desparate(sp) to get married for the sake of it, hivyo tangu wanaanza dating hiyo agenda ipo, ila wengi inatokea tu humo naturally
     
  16. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

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    Ndoa ni nini?

    Asiyefaa kuoa/kuolewa hafai kwa sababu gani? Na sababu hizi ni kwa mujibu wa mtazamo wa nani?

    Je, asiyefaa kuoa/kuolewa kwa watu wanaopenda watoto sababu hapendi kuzaa, bado atakuwa hafai kuoa/kuolewa kwa wenzake wasiopenda watoto/kuzaa?
     
  17. Nsiande

    Nsiande JF-Expert Member

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    Maswali magumu sana ila nina jibu moja tu...

    Ndoa kwa akina dada hapa Tz ni 'A Tanzanian Dream '
     
  18. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

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    Mashaallah!
     
  19. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Kina dada gani hao uliokaa nao kitako mkafikia hitimisho hilo?
     
  20. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Ni ndoto kivipi na kwa nini?
     
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