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kuna nini kichwani mwa mke wangu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by VIKWAZO, May 26, 2011.

  1. VIKWAZO

    VIKWAZO JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 26, 2011
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    jamani leo nimeona nijisalimishe hapa kwenu jamii labda nitapata maarifa.
    mke wangu ana msifia sana mdogo wangu wa kiume, yaani kuna wakati hata hakuna umuhimu wa hizo sifa lakini yeye anamwaga tu sifa kwa bwana mdogo!!!!!!
    nimefanya utafiti sijagundua kitu chochote, mimi nampenda sana mdogo wangu nashindwa kumuondoa hapa nyumbani kwa kutumia hisia tu kwamba yawezekana kuna kitu kati yake na mama watoto au mama watoto ana kitu kichwani?

    mahusiano yetu yako sawa tu, sijagundua kasoro, lakini sifa na maongezi muda wote kuhusu bwana mdogo sasa yanaanza kunipa ishara mbaya kichwani mwangu

    naombeni maarifa sitaka kuchemka nawajali na kuwapenda wote, mmoja kama mke na mwengine kama ndugu
     
  2. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #2
    May 26, 2011
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    Naamini wewe ni mtu mzima huwezi tu ukaibuka na kulalama
    kitu ambacho hakipo... bahati mbaya hujaeleza sifa hizo ni zipi
    maana yaweza kua sifa za kumsifia kua ana msaada mkubwa hapo
    nyumbani i.e kusaidia shughuli za hapa na pale au sifa za maumbile
    i.e. ooh mdogo wako ana mvuto, dah sijui kifua kimefanyeje n.k

    Kikubwa na kizuri ni kua umetambua hizo sifa na hivyo ni dhahiri
    hawajafanya mchezo wowote mchafu (naona ndo hofu yako)
    maana angekua amefanya au anafikiria asingedhubutu kumtaja taja
    mbele yako...

    Mimi nakushauri mwambie kua mbona sifa zimezidi??? Walau apate picha
    kua hupendi na pia kua wawafuatilia...

    Pole saana kwa tatizo lako. Kila la kheri.....
     
  3. Nemo

    Nemo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 26, 2011
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    VIKWAZO:
    Because you have not found anything suspicious, the easiest thing for you to do I think is to just be open and let your wife know that you do feel uncomfortable na hizo sifa kem kem anazomwagia dogo! She just may not be aware how unconfortable you are, so start by letting her know, ili aache au apunguze.
     
  4. VIKWAZO

    VIKWAZO JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 26, 2011
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    sifa ni nyingi kwa kweli
    aliwai kusema anaumbo zuri hatapa usumbufu wa wanawake
    ana tabia nzuri mkewe hatapata raha
    ana juhudi ya masomo na ana akili darasani
    ana upendo
    na hii ni kama biashara ya kila siku mimi kusikiliza masifa ya bwana mdogo
    mpaka inakera
     
  5. VIKWAZO

    VIKWAZO JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 26, 2011
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    yawezekana kutoka na ubusy na shughuli zangu wakawa na uwezo wa kunifunika maana ratiba yangu in kama kanuni za wokovu
    hiko fix. sana hovyo bado nina mashaka kuna kitu
     
  6. Nemo

    Nemo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 26, 2011
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    Lakini hata hivyo ni bora umwambie, ukiona hata baada ya kumwambia anashindwa kujisitiri na kuvimilia, then at least utajua ana lake moyoni. Ila pole, lakini pia si vizuri, kuwazia mabaya peke yake. Inawezekana labda anasema hivyo ili na wewe uhamasike na kufuata vitu positive she sees from dogo. Kwa mfano, kama wewe ni mnene na mwenye kitambi, basi upunguze, kama wewe ni mkali, basi uwe mwenye upole and upendo kama dogo etc
     
  7. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 26, 2011
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    Katika makosa ambayo unatakiwa kuyaepuka ni kufanya maamuzi kwa kutepemea hisia,utakuja kujilaumu sana,kagua tabia ya mke wako kama alikuwa na historia ya kutokuwa mwaminifu,ila fuatilia piam na uchunguze kinachosababisha anamsifia kisha utoe maamuzi!
     
  8. VIKWAZO

    VIKWAZO JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 26, 2011
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    sina hakika sana kama hajawai huko nyuma lakini kwa ufahamu wangu hapana ,
    kutoka na msukumo wa mawazo kama hizo hoja mbili hapo juu ndio maana nimekwama, nikweli sitaki kutumia hisia kufanya mahamuzi ya aina yoyote.
    kumwambia nashindwa sitakii kufanya kitu ni kakijutia,
    nimekuwa nafikilia kufanya hivyo lakini nakwama kwa kugopa kama nitakuta nilikuwa na hisia mbaya tu.
    kuna kijana nilita kujaribu kumtumia kama mpelelezi lakini nasiki ni rafiki sana na mdogo wangu.
    kwa sasa mimi nafikiri kumtoa dogo hapa home bila kusema kiti ila kwa kutengeneza story
    sijui kama itasaidia
     
  9. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 26, 2011
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    Usimtoe mdogo wako kwa kufanya hivyo tayari unakuwa umemuadhibu kwa kufuata hisia zako,kama umefuatilia na hujagundua tatizo fuatilia tema au achana na mawazo hayo!
     
  10. Chapakazi

    Chapakazi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 26, 2011
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    jaribu kuvunja ratiba! uje home muda usiotarajiwa, uone hali ikoje. Ikiwezekana, njoo bila hata usafiri wako wa kawaida!
     
  11. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 26, 2011
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    Maybe!!
     
  12. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 26, 2011
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    Vikwazo,mimi sijui wewe kabila gani,lakini kwetu sisi wahaya kuna kitu tunaita 'okushanzila' meaning kutania.Kwetu ni ruksa kabisa dogo kumtania mke wa kakake ila ni marufuku kaka kumtania mke wa mdogo wake maana yeye anachukuliwa kama baba.Wewe tuliza ball,endelea kumtunza mdogo wako,achana na insecurity , na kisha shukuru kuwa mkeo na mdogo wako mpendwa wanaishi in harmony maana ziko thread kibao humu MMU ambazo zinahusu nyumba kukosa amani kisa shem na wanandugu ni paka na panya na mme anashindwa aegemee wapi.
     
  13. S

    SACoNa Member

    #13
    May 26, 2011
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    kwa pointi yako ya mwisho umesema unawaheshimu wote, pia pamoja na misifa hiyo yote ukafanya uchunguzi lakini hujagundua kibaya chochote, kubwa ambalo naliona kutoka kwako ni wivu wa mapenzi, nakushauri umwambie mke wako kiustaarabu kuwa hiyo mijisifa imezidi na wakati mwingine we hupendezwi nayo. Naamini kama mkeo anakupenda atajirekebisha. Sidhani kama kuna kitu kichwani mwake ila tu we una wivu. Pole kwa mkasa.
     
  14. N

    NYAMLENGWA Member

    #14
    May 26, 2011
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    Usifanye maamuz yoyote ya haraka had uwe na uhakika braza,take time chunguza yaweza kuw hamna kinachoendlea
     
  15. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 26, 2011
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    Bro, kwani mdogo wako anafanya nini hapo nyumbani kwako? ana umri gani? yeye anasema nini kuhusu shemeji yake? Na yeye anamwaga sifa? ukimwangalia kwa kumkazia macho usoni yukoje? Just remember the guilt are always afraid!
     
  16. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 26, 2011
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    Nahisi ni hisia zako tu, angekuwa na lake jambo asingethubutu hata kumuongelea mbele yako, mshukuru tu Mungu mkeo anampenda ndugu yako na anaishi nae kwa upendo.
     
  17. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 26, 2011
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    Mkuu, kuna member kauliza umri wa mdogo wako! Pamoja na kuwa umekuwa suspicious, jaribu kuficha hisia zako ili usichafue hali ya hewa nyumbani. Kwa mtu mwizi huwa anakuwa na kawaida ya kufuta nyayo ya anapopita. Kama wife na mdogo wako wana uhusiano, basi wangekuwa mbali kiasi, japo dalili nyingine zingejionesha.
    Thank God wife anawapenda ndugu zako, kwani wengine huwachukia sana ndugu wa mume. Usivunje trust ya mkeo, japo inabidi uchunguze kwa busara zaidi na bila wao kujua. Na mwambie mkeo, badala ya kumsifu sana mdogo wako, basi akuambie madhaifu yako ili ujirekebishe na akusifie wewe.
     
  18. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 26, 2011
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    Pole sana kaka kwa yanayokukuta,
    kiukweli kauli kama hizo zinaleta mashaka kidogo,
    na hatimae zinakufanya ujisikie inferior kiasi fulani,

    Lakini labda cha msingi zaidi, si vema kumhukumu,
    pasipo kuwa na uhakika na hizo investigations zako!
    inaweza kuwa kuna kitu huyu mke wako anakimaanisha pindi anapokueleza hilo,
    sasa anataka upay aatention kwake na ubadilike, lakini wewe bado hujaonyesha dalili
    za mabadiliko!
    Lakini inawezekana pia kukawa na kitu kinachoendelea hapo,
    kwani hawa dada zetu nao wakishapenda na kunogewa na kitu fulani,
    kwakweli huwa wanajisahau na kujikuta hata staha hakuna tena.

    Jaribu kufuatilia kwa makini hizo kauli zake, na usifanye maamuzi ya papara!
     
  19. f

    fikiriakwanza Member

    #19
    May 26, 2011
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    kuna kitu anakiona kwa mdogo wako na kwako hakioni.ndio maana anajaribu kutoa sifa hizo ili na wewe ufuate,mfano anasema ni mpole ina maana wewe sio mpole,anaposema mke wake hatapata shida ina maana yeye anapata shida,jaribu kila anapotoa sifa mwulize je kwangu hupati?usikie maelezo yake.Mfano akisema mdogo wako mpole sana,mwambie ndivyo kwetu tulivyo kwani hunioni hata mimi?hapo utapata jibu maana atakueleza.Usikurupuke,utajutia maamuzi yasiyo sahihi ya hisia kwaajili ya wivu wako.
     
  20. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 26, 2011
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    Thanx Gaga 4 the point!
     
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