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Kukopeshana na kudaiana kwenye mapenzi au urafiki

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Viol, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 29, 2011
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    Habari za sahizi wanajamvi....natumai mnaenjoy weekend.
    Naomba mnijuzi haya maswala mawili.


    1.Swala la mapenzi a) Napenda kujua kwamba mnapokuwa kwenye uhusiano wa mapenzi moja wenu anapokuwa
    na tatizo au kuomba hela ya kuanzisha mradi unamsaidia au unamkopesha?

    b) najua sometimes ni vizuri kumsaidia mpenzi wako ila kama bado hamjaoana je huyo
    anayeomba msaada hataweza kutumia udhaifu wako wa kumsadia?.Nadhani
    kama wanandoa kidogo inaleta uaminifu kiasi flani.

    c) Je ni vizuri mpenzi wako kufahamu mshahara wako na matumizi ya hela?

    2.Swala la Urafiki : Kuna ule urafiki kati ya mvulana na msichana ila sio wapenzi,sometimes unakuta wavulana
    hawana mazoea ya kuwakopa wasichana,ila unakuta msichana anakukopa au ana matatizo ila
    kukulipa inakuwa kero lingine na wewe kurudia kumdai ni kama haipendezi ingawa wote
    mgekuwa wanaume mgeshika mashati na kulipana na mambo yanaenda vizuri.
    Sasa inakuja unapondai mshichana urafiki wenu unaweza ukafa labda awe mwelewa,kwel
    baadhi ya wasichana unapomkopesha ukimdai halafu akakulipa ndo urafiki unakufa
    .
    Je mkishafikia hatua hiyo kuna haja ya urafiki wakati matunda ya huo urafiki hayaonekani?
     
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 29, 2011
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    1 a) Inategemea na makubaliano yenu. Kama uliombwa ''usaidie'' ukakubali umesaidia...na kama uliombwa ''ukopeshe...usaidie/utoe kwa ahadi ya kurudishiwa'' basi umekopesha.
    b) Kwani kumsaidia mtu kuna maana gani??Udhaifu utatukaje kama hulazimishwi bali unaamua wewe???Just asking.
    c)Hiyo nayo inategemea na ukaribu pia trust kati yenu. Sio lazima ila ni maamuzi tu.

    2. Well kama kitendo cha wewe kutaka urudishiwe pesa yako uliyokopwa ni tatizo basi jua hamna urafiki hapo. Yani huyo msichana anataka kukutumia tu tena bila kujali hali/mahitaji yako so mpotezee!!!
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    1 b) mwingine anakuomba msaada maana anajua kama unayo huwezi kmtupa
     
  4. T

    Tall JF-Expert Member

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    Wanaume huwa tunatoa tu regadless atatumia lugha ya kukopa au vinginevyo.....na kama ujuavyo ukitoa umetoa FORGET na usitegemee kupata return yoyote.
    SWALA LA KUDAIANA KWENYE MAPENZI NI KOSA KUBWA SANA. IVI MPENZI WAKO AKIAMUA KUKUDAI AU KUANDIKIA BILL YA YOOOOOOTE ALIYOKUPA UTAWEZA KULIPA????? FIKIRI SANA.
     
  5. Kigogo

    Kigogo JF-Expert Member

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    ukitaka kuwa na amani usithubutu kuomba mambo ya kukopana hela na wenzi wako maana mkitibuana tu ..ananzia hapo kwanza nakudai hela zangu weweeee.aghjhh
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Vyovyote vile ni maamuzi yako wewe mwenyewe...ukitaka kutoa utatoa na usipotaka hutotoa..hamna sehemu unayoshurutishwa kutoa.
     
  7. mikatabafeki

    mikatabafeki JF-Expert Member

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    kwenye suala la mapenzi inatehgemeana na hali zenu..................ka hali ni mbaaya inabidi arudishe tu na kama unajiweza atleast we mpatie tu bila makubaliano yoyote yale ka atarudisha ama hatarudisha basi
     
  8. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Mambo ya kukopeshana ama kupeana hela inategemea na uhusiano uliopo. Kwenye mapenzi, ukiona mwenzio anakukopa ujue future haiko clear sana or else hamna ushirikiano kwenye hiyo project. Kama future is certain, lugha itakua 'tufanye 1,2,3...' Na sense of ownership itakuwepo. Ila kwa sababu ya ubinafsi,kukopeshana kutakuwepo na muendelezo ni kua lazma ulipe tena kwa riba.
    Kuhusu marafiki,unamjua tu rafiki yangu ni mbinafsi, unapima mkopo ambao hautaharibu urafiki wenu
     
  9. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Nikikopa narudisha na nikikopwa tafadhali nirudishiwe kwa wakati tuliokubaliana


    Ahsante
     
  10. Mungi

    Mungi JF Gold Member

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    Mkuu umenikumbusha! yupo mpenzi wangu mmoja majuzi alinisifu sanaaa mpaka sifa zingine mwenyewe nilihisi sinazo kwa kweli, mwishowe akaniambia kuwa ananipenda sana kuliko hata mtu ambaye amezaanaye!

    Baadaye wakati napanda mbegu ya pili nipo katikati akaniambia mwisho wa mwezi kama naweza kumsaidia kununua jiko la gesi na mtungi wake maana amepungukiwa! nikamwambia kwani umepungukiwa sh ngapi, akaniambia laki mbili tu! nikamwambia acha uongo, hiyo siyo kupungukiwa, ni kwamba hana kabisa.
    Nikamwambia sijui kama naweza kumsaidia yote, ila naweza kumsaidia kiasi, hapo akaamini mimi sitekwi akili hata ninapokuwa sita kwa sita!
    Hivyo ni kwamba ni heri umsaidie mpenzi wako kuliko kumkopesha, maana uwezo wa kumdai hauna, vinginevyo mnaweza kukosana kabisa na inafikia mwisho wa mapenzi. Unaweza kumpa yeye akajua umemkopesha lakini wewe umemsaidia, akirudisha poa, asiporudisha poa kwa maana ulitoa kumsaidia!
     
  11. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu hapo unakuta amekuomba laki mbili na ukasema huna hicho kiasi ila una kiasi flani,ila kuna mwingine hakuelewi kabisa anafanya kama vile ni wajibu wako kumsaidia kiwango anachohitaji
     
  12. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Gaijin hiyo ni principles zako ila kuna wengine hawaelewi kisa kwa vile we ni mpenzi wake na anajua kampa unampenda hutamwacha
     
  13. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Kama hana nia ya kurudisha asikope, aseme agaiwe.
     
  14. Mungi

    Mungi JF Gold Member

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    Mkuu ukiona hali iko hivyo ujue huyo mpenzi wako anataka uwe MTUMWA wake!
    Kumbuka mwanaume siyo ATM Machine!
    Mapenzi ni kila kitu, siyo tendo la ndoa peke yake, ni lazima watu wawili wakubaliane na hali halisi.
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    King'ansti kwa upande wa urafiki sana unaweza ukajilinda kijanja,kwa upande wa wapenzi ni kweli kukopeshana ni sumu but ukisema heri kusaidiana mbona kutakuwa na mtu ambaye ana uwezo kuliko mwingine halafu huyo ambaye hana uwezo huoni atakuwa anatumia huo mwanya kuomba msaada kila mara?
     
  16. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    kwa hiyo unamaanisha ni jinsi mtakavyokuwa mnajisikia wenyewe na hali ya kuaminiana?
     
  17. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Halafu mkitibuana unaweza ukaaibika mana unakuta kwa kiasi kikubwa amekusaidia sana
     
  18. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Huwezi ila mwingine ukijifanya unatoa msaada na kusahau unakuta ana matumizi mabaya ya hela
     
  19. K

    Kindimbajuu JF-Expert Member

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    huyo ni mwizi tu, yaani katikati ya kupanda mbegu yeye anazungumza mambo ya jiko la gesi,mmh, huyo alikuwa" ki- jiko la gesi zaidi" kuliko mapenzi. nadhani unakosea kumwita "mpenzi", mpe jina jingine
     
  20. CORAL

    CORAL JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 30, 2011
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    Unapokuwa na mpenzi bila shaka utaijua sana hali yake ya kiuchumi na pia utajua nini hasa anatafuta kwako. Mpenzi wako kukwambia 'naomba sh 20,000' wakati mwingine ni jambo gumu sana hata kama nyinyi ni wapenzi. Mara nyingi atasema 'niazime/nikopeshe sh. 20,000' lakini hataahidi muda au jinsi ya kurudisha. Anajua fika huwezi kumdai! Kwa kuwa na wewe unaijua hali yake unapotoa, toa kama zawadi bila tegemeo la kurudishiwa. Atakapooba tena umkopeshe sio unasema 'mbona zile hukurudisha?' Utaaribu uhusiano, hata katika hali ya utani you have to be careful. Hapa nimeongelea mpenzi wako asiye na uwezo.
    Kwa upande mwingine kuna mpenzi ambaye ana pesa labda hata kukuzidi. Usishangae akikuomba hela umkopeshe. Kusaidiana ni moja ya namna ya kuimarisha uhusiano wenu. Anaweza asiwe na shida sana ya kukuomba hela, labda anaona uvivu kwenda benki, afterall wewe si ni mpenzi wake? Hata katika hali hii usitegemee kurudishiwa, anaweza kukurudishia au la, jiandae kwa yote. USIMDAI kabisa lakini kwa kuwa ana uwezo, wakati unaofaa na wewe mwambie akuazime hela. Bila shaka atakupa na ataogopa kukudai kwa kuwa na wewe humdai.
     
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