Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Kuishi pamoja kabla ya ndoa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Fidel80, May 16, 2009.

  1. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: May 3, 2008
    Messages: 21,983
    Likes Received: 49
    Trophy Points: 145
    ... eti kunapoteza hamu ya ndoa?

    Jamani Eeh, .... umri unaenda, , mtu mzima n'na miaka hii 33 sasa nahisi kama nioe hivi, ...au mnasemaje majamaa? Ngoja niangalie kushoto na kulia kisha nikae upande wa pili wa mabachela niwe mpinzani wao. Nahisi italeta maana.

    Wengi wao wiki hii wamenogewa na penzi, wanataka kuhamia kwa wapenzi wao, wake kwa waume, tatizo liko kwa akinadada, wanahisi kama wakihamia tu, ndio kuolewa basi maana kutakuwa hamna jipya!
    Mnanisoma?

    Vijana kama vijana, wamekaa chini na kujadiliana jinsi hizi pesa za kwenda nyumba za wageni zinavyopukutika, au mara huyu kampa huyu hela ya kula wakati wangekuwa nyumba moja wangepika na kula kwa gharama nafuu na ule ukaribu tu wa kushauriana hili na lile ukiwepo pia ni sawa, maana kama kusomana tabia huu ndio muda wake? Lakini sasa, wakinadada wanadai kwambaaaaaa, ukishakaa na mtoto wa kiume, ...kuolewa sahau, anakuchezea kisha akuache. Hii ni kweli?

    Au ndio twende kwenye mavipengele mwanawane? Haya twendeni tukaone kwa mtazamo wangu mimi ninavyoliangalia hili, huku nikiendelea kukusihi kwamba, si lazima uamini kila ninalosema mimi kwani na mimi jamani ni binadamu wa kawaida tu ambaye nina mapungufu yangu.
    Chuja pumba, chukua nafaka, ...tumeelewana?

    1. Kwa nia njema? ...mbona fresh tu!
    Kuna kitu kimoja ambacho mimi nakiamini kila siku katika maisha yangu na nina imani kwamba hii ni moja ya imani ambazo nitazeeka nazo. Unanisoma? Penzi huleta mabadiliko makubwa katika maisha ya binadamu kama ulikuwa hujui sasa wewe una nia njema na mwenzako kwa nini uogope? Usafi wa nia huleta mabadiliko kama ulikuwa hujui...

    Sasa hapa ujue kuna nini, mtu anaweza akawa kabisa ana nia ya kukuchezea, aishi na wewe kisha akuache lakini kuna moja lipo wazi sana. Mwanamke ukiamua kum'badilisha mwenzako mawazo mbona ni kazi ndogo tu? Huduma zile za baba mwenye nyumba kutoka kwa mama, zitamsahaulisha kila kitu na akitoka kwenye mtego huu huyo kashindikana, usihangaike naye atakuua!

    Anza asubuhi maji ya kuoga, atavaa nini, mchana asikose SMS za kumkumbusha kula kama anafanya kazi jioni akitoka kazini mambo yetu yale kama kawaida, ....nina uhakika, nia njema hujenga njia njema,

    2. Hapa ndio penye ukweli...
    Ujue bwana sisi vijana wa mjini tuna tabia moja ambayo watu wanahisi ni muhimu na ya kudumu lakini ni mbaya sana ya uongo. Mkianza mapenzi, kila mmoja atamdanganya mwenzako kuhusiana na jambo moja ama jingine si kwa nia mbaya, lakini mara nyingi huwa ni katika kuhakikisha kwamba uhusiano unakaa kwenye mstari, lakini mwisho wa siku, uongo ni m'baya!

    Unaona bwana, sasa katika kuhakikisha kwamba mnaishi uhusiano salama, njia njema ya kuujua ukweli ni kuishi pamoja. Mnanisoma? Mkikaa pamoja lolote ulilodanganywa utalijua tu. Na mimi nahisi ni bora ukae miezi mitatu na kuujua ukweli ili kama unajitoa ujitoe kabla mambo hayajawa mabaya kuliko kukimbilia kufunga pingi za maisha halafu unakutana na mambo makubwa ukiwa ndani tayari. Ujue ni balaa?

    Watu wakitaka yao huficha makucha bwana, hujifanya kuwa na tabia ambayo ni njema sana kwa sababu tu anataka lake, akishalipata anajisahau sasa, ndio unaanza kusema kabadilika, kumbe alibadilika wakati anakutaka, ...kwa sasa kwa kuwa kashakupata, tabia halisi kabisa ndio inakuja sasa.
    Sasa kuliko mtu kukufanyia ujinga akiwa tayari keshakufunga pingu za maisha, ni bora ukazijua tabia zake za kweli ukiwa kama nje ya uwanja, ili ufanye maamuzi sahihi, kama utayavumilia haya, kama unahisi yatakushinda mwaya, ...ni bora ujiepushe mapemaaaaa...

    3. Penzi la kweli halichuji!
    Kama una penzi la kweli inakuwaje unachokwa? penzi la kweli halichokwi, na watu hawa kama wanajigundua kama wana mapungufu huamua kuambiana ukweli na kurekebishana na sio kuamua kuumizana na mwisho wa siku kuachana. Kwa hiyo kama una penzi la kweli kwa mwenzio ujue kuna uwezekano mkubwa sana wa kudumu.

    Tabia hubadilishwa na penzi kaa ulikuwa hujui, nikupe njia, muonjeshe kwanza ule utamu wenyewe mwenzio. Ukiona karidhika sasa, mwambie hutaki hiki, na hiki na kile, ...umeona bwana, atabadilika mwenyewe na mtakuwa sawa.
    Mi nakwambia, huna haja ya kuogopa kwamba nikikaa naye penzi litachujuka, kutakuwa hamna jipya, kwamba atakuchoka atakuacha.

    Wasiwasi wangu ni kwamba huenda akanogewa bwana, mambo yakawa mazuri kiasi mwenyewe ukafurahi.
     
  2. Outlier

    Outlier JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: Dec 28, 2008
    Messages: 325
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0
    Utauza watu oyyaaah; unaishi na mshkaji miezi mitatu unagundua ni myeyushaji unaachana naye, unaenda kwa mwingine miezi mitatu hivyo hivyo, utaishia wapi?
    Na asikudanganye mtu, kum-badili mtu ni vigumu sana, eti ukae nae atabadilika, thubutu. KUNGURU hafugiki.
    Ni bora kila mtu akae kivyake vyake mpaka hapo itakapokuwa muda muafaka umefika.
    Wazo langu tu, usikonde.
     
  3. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 22,323
    Likes Received: 110
    Trophy Points: 160
    Quote of the day!

    Mzee wa mbili ni mvaa mbili tu, ukimpa moja atatafuta ya pili! Huwezi mbadili zaidi atakupa plastic smile baadaye anarudi aliko kuwa!
     
  4. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0

    Hii story ni yako au umeitoa mahali?
     
  5. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
    Messages: 1,975
    Likes Received: 22
    Trophy Points: 135
    Some a true ila mengine ni magumu hayabadiliki kwa kweli....ila kuishi kwa one month then ndoa...ni vyema kwani u get use to each other..kuliko kuwa wageni kila mara....it works..story kama hizi ni muongozo kiasi kwani unaweza pick something.

    Hasa kwa wale ambao tuko karibu kufanya mambo haya ya ndoa....ila nakumbuka nimtoka zangu maporini nikiwa kichupa kimejaa nikaa na demu wangu kwa muda wa siku tatu kuhakikisha kila napotaka nakuwa nayo...baada ya siku mbili nilikuwa najiuliza hivi anafanya nini pale...yaani hata hamu naye hakuna.Sijui kwa kuwa nilikuwa kwa ajiri ya kichupa au nini!!!

    Mbu unaweza kuja na somo la nama hii kuhusu kuingia kwenye ndoa kabla tufanye nin hasa vichwa ngumu kama sisi una demu miaka mitatu sasa..huoni haja ya kuoa?Tufanyeje mawazo yabadilike tuone ndoa ni jambo la fanaka?
     
  6. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
    Messages: 12,703
    Likes Received: 92
    Trophy Points: 145
    ...te he he :D... haya, nipe muda kidogo, nitawaletea shubiri iliyo tamu.
     
  7. Kwetunikwetu

    Kwetunikwetu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 16, 2009
    Joined: Dec 23, 2007
    Messages: 1,546
    Likes Received: 12
    Trophy Points: 135
    Bro ungeweka abstract habari ndefu kinomi....!
     
  8. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: May 3, 2008
    Messages: 21,983
    Likes Received: 49
    Trophy Points: 145
    Mkuu UM vp inahusiana na wewe nn?
    Njoo tujadili
     
  9. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: Jan 22, 2009
    Messages: 6,981
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 0
    hiyo wadada wa mjini wanaita "kujilipua"...ukiingia hutoki mpaka kieleweke! kitu ambacho sikielewagi ni pale mtu anapodai fulani kanichezea/kanipotezea muda! khaa ina maana unazubalia wapi huoni kama unapotezewa muda?
     
  10. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: Jan 9, 2009
    Messages: 1,012
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mimi sioni kama ni vyema kusihi pamoja kabla ya ndoa, kama kweli mnapendana kwa nini msifunge ndoa kuhusu swala la kujuana nadhani mpaka unaamua kuishi na mtu unakuwa umemjua, haya ukiishi naye ukakuta hakufai utamuacha then utafute mwingine wa kumchunguza tabia utaishi na wangapi? Na kama swala ni kukwepa gharama mimi sioni sababu ya hayo yote kinachotakiwa ni dnoa basi mambo ya sherehe kubwa nini haya huyusu maana watu wengi wanakwepa gharama.
    Mimi binafsi siwezi kukubali kuishi na mtu kabla ya ndoa maana hawezi kununua ng'ombe wakati anapata maziwa na nyama za bure? kila siku kwanza akuoe kwa lipi ?kuna nini kipya au ambacho ana hamu nacho sana mpaka aamue kukuoa, sana sana anapasha kiporo tu hamna chakula fresh.
     
  11. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: May 3, 2008
    Messages: 21,983
    Likes Received: 49
    Trophy Points: 145
    dada Joy maisha haya kabla ya ndoa ni mazuri sana tena mno mnaweza ishi hata miaka 45 then mnafunga ndoa
     
  12. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: Mar 30, 2009
    Messages: 1,016
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Sioni kwa mantiki ya kuishi pamoja kabla ya ndoa,kwa sababu kama nia ni kujua tabia ya mwenzako hata kama hamuishi pamoja siku zinavoenda utazidi kugundua tabia za mpenzi wako,hata kama hutafanikiwa kujua tabia zake zote lakini kuna ambazo utakuwa umeshazijua.

    Jamani tusikubali kuishi pamoja kabla ya ndoa.
     
  13. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: Jan 9, 2009
    Messages: 1,012
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0

    Unajua mnapofunga ndoa mna avoid vitu vingi sana unajua mpaka mfike miaka 45 mtakuwa na watto wakubwa mtawafundisha nini watoto,
    wasichana wataongea na mama yao atawafundisha nini , kwamba ukipata kijana amekupenda nenda tu kaishi naye ? huoni hii tabia itarithi kizazi hadi kizazi, lakini mkiwa mmefunga ndoa unamwambia mwanao jitunze hadi upate mtu wa kukuoa, halafu heshima inakuwepo, hata siku Mr, akitoka nje unaweza kuuliza ukikutana na wanawake vichaa anakuambia eeh! mume wako huyu lete cheti cha ndoa yanakushuka.
     
  14. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: May 3, 2008
    Messages: 21,983
    Likes Received: 49
    Trophy Points: 145
    Maisha ya bila ndoa yana raha zake jamani asikwambie mtu.
    Mi nayapenda na nina yafrahia sana
     
  15. KIFARU

    KIFARU Senior Member

    #15
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: Apr 6, 2009
    Messages: 172
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    kweli maisha bila ya ndoa yana raha yake,na kubwa zaidi ni kwamba mnakua mnaishi kwa kutegeana,hamuoneshana makucha,ila hasara yake ni kubwa kuliko faida,
    1. kwanza watoto mtakaozaa wanakua hawana uhalali,kwa hiyo hata mkija baadae kuachana watoto watakua hawana future yoyote kwa wazazi
    2. kama ilivyoelezwa na mchangiaji mnakua mnafanya utaratibu ambao si wa kibusara yaani huwezi simama mbele ya jamii kisha ukiulizwa uwepo wenu wawili Mwenyezi mungu kauhalalisha ukawa na point za kuweza kujieleza watu wakakuelewa,
    3.Ubinafsi,nimejaribu fuatilia kwa umakini nimekuta wanaume wengi ndo wanapenda kukaa bila kuoa lakini si wanawake wote ndo wanataka mkae kwanza kisha muoane,na hii inatokana na kwamba mtu anaangalia kwanza ya kwake yamnyookee bila ya kuangalia athari anayopata yule ambaye kila siku kwao au jamii wanamuuliza lini ndoa yenu?
    4.kuishi bila ya ndoa ni kuenda kinyume na utaratibu wa Mwenyezi mungu,
    5.Matatizo ya kidunia,mwenzio siku akifa ndani,sijui mwenzangu utakua ktk hali gani hasa tunavyo ona aina hii ya uhusiano inavyokua haina baraka za wazazi,moja kwa moja utakua unajitia matatani lazima uonje chungu ya dunia,
    kwa mtazamo wangu ningependelea zaidi dada zetu wajiheshimu,na wajiweke ktk mazingira ya kuolewa,
     
  16. B

    Bobby JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 18, 2009
    Joined: Jan 10, 2008
    Messages: 1,612
    Likes Received: 126
    Trophy Points: 160

    Mhh Joy na wewe huvumi kumbe............ Mambo ya kiporo na fresh. Wanaume bwana na sie hata akipasha kiporo ujuwe ni formality tu mara nyingi anakuwa na kafresh kingine pengine anafyonza taratiiiiiibu.
     
  17. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: Jan 9, 2009
    Messages: 1,012
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 0
    ok kwa hiyo ni kufuata mkumbo mnaona bora niwe nae hata kama ni kiporo, lakini kuna mwingine wa kunipooza fresh kutoka kwenye box.sijakubaliana na wewe
     
  18. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: May 3, 2008
    Messages: 21,983
    Likes Received: 49
    Trophy Points: 145
    Unajua kila mtu analife style yake inabidi ukubaliane nayo tu utazoea hivyo hivyo kidogo kidogo.
     
  19. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #19
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: May 30, 2008
    Messages: 5,467
    Likes Received: 44
    Trophy Points: 0
    jE, Wewe ni mmoja wa wale wenye kuamini kuwa:
    "If you can get free milk, why KEEP a cow?!"
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2009
  20. G

    G'luv Member

    #20
    May 20, 2009
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Messages: 13
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 3
    Offcoz hiyo itakua ni mtu kuoa mke wake au dada kuolewa na mume wake!! hailipi hata kiduchu. Naamini raha ya kufunga ndoa ni watu kutokujuana kabisaaaa. Na ndiyo maana wadada huvaa shela. Sasa leo hii ndoa kibao zinafungwa na familia (bw. harusi, bibi harusi na kichanga tumboni -zygote). Baadae watu wanalalamika baba kabaka binti yake kumbe tayari alikua akimbaka tangu tumboni.....mbayaaaa sanaaaa
     
Loading...