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Kuisha Kwa Hisia Sio Mwisho wa Mapenzi

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Companero, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

    #1
    Mar 22, 2012
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    Kama 'mwanamke akikuambia hana hisia na wewe tena basi anza kufungasha na ujiandee kuondoka'. Hayo yalikuwa ni maneno ya ushauri wa mama wa makamo kwa vijana wanaopitia misukosuko ya mapenzi. Ushauri huo ulitokana na uzoefu wake kuhusu hali ambayo mwanamke katika jamii fulani alipohojiwa kwa nini hawezi kurudiana na mwanaume wake aliitanabahisha hivi kwa kifupi: 'mtima mtitu'. Hali hii, inayomaanisha 'moyo mweusi', inasemekana humtokea mwanamke pale ambazo hisia zake zote kwa mwanaume fulani aliyekuwa anampenda hugubikwa na wingu zito jeusi.

    Lakini kuna wataalamu wa masuala ya mapenzi wanaodai hisia ni sehemu tu ya mapenzi na sio msingi mkuu. Kwa mtazamo wao mapenzi ni maamuzi. Yaani, kupenda ni kuamua. Si hisia. Hivyo maadam ukishaamua kumpenda mtu fulani basi inabidi uendelee (kuamua) kumpenda kila siku hata kama hujisikii. Wataalamu hao wamejikita katika mtazamo wa kiimani kuwa ukishapendana na mtu kikamilifu ni mauti tu yanayoweza kuwatenga - si hisia wala nini.

    Swali la msingi ni, je, ukijisikia 'mtima mtitu' unapaswa kufanya nini? Kuvumilia kisabuni tu? Au kubwaga manyanga?
     
  2. Boonabaana

    Boonabaana JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 22, 2012
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    Mbona hii kitu iko vere simpo mkuu Campanero? Unabwaga manyanga period
     
  3. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 22, 2012
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    ah mapenzi haya kweli balaaa
    nachoweza kusema ni kwamba wewe bwaga manyanga bana sasa kama humfeel ya nini kuwa nae

    kuhusu mapenzi kutokuwa hisia i disagree. kila mtu anaqualities ambazo anataka mpenzi wake awe nazo na hivyo akitokea mtu mwenye hizo qualities basi huyu mtu uvutiwa nae na hivyo kuwa na furaha....sasa furaha ni hisia bana so u cant say kuwa mapenzi hayanaa hisia. it is only natural kwa mtu kuvutiwa na things they like na ndio huo mvuto uleta hisia za furaha.
     
  4. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #4
    Mar 22, 2012
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    sina uhakika sana na wengine, kwa upande wangu hisia za kimapenzi huwa haziko continuous..... kuna kipindi naona kabisa bila huyu, there is no me.............. na kuna kipindi najiuliza hivi ilikuwaje nikawa na huyu ndugu? sasa tukianza kuzungumzia kila hisia zinapopotea ubwage manyanga sijui mtu utayamwaga manyanga mangapi. maana nadhani utayamwaga haya baada ya muda utayaokota mengine na hisia zikikimbia unayamwaga nk nk.
    na zaidi ya hayo nadhani kuna umri unafika unaona kabisa hapa huwezi kukimbizana tena, na ndo maana utakuta watu wazima wengi wapo kwenye ndoa ambayo hakuna kabisa mapenzi ila wanaishi kwa mazoea tu.
     
  5. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

    #5
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    B na M, inasemekana hisia ni kama upepo tu, kwa Kiingereza wanasema 'volatile', leo zinaweza kuwepo, kesho zikatoweka na keshokutwa zikarudi; hivyo inashauriwa kuwa tusizitegemee kabisa maana zinakuja na kupita tu.
     
  6. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

    #6
    Mar 22, 2012
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    da niliandika hiyo posti hapo juu kabla ya kuiona hii, hapa umeeleza kila ninachojaribu kukieleza ila umeeleza vizuri zaidi, shukrani!
     
  7. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #7
    Mar 22, 2012
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    Companero, najua hii ni off topic...

    Eti ni nani alikuwa Vice Chancellor wa UDSM kati ya mwaka 1980-1988?
     
  8. BlackBerry

    BlackBerry JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 22, 2012
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    Mapenzi ni kitu cha ajabu sana yana swing kama moods za watu, pia yana vipindi kama vile vuli, masika .....
    kwa hiyo kuna kipindi kibaya unaona kabisa feelings zimeisha lakini bado uko nae, ukifanikiwa kupita hicho kipindi lazima kitakuja kingine kipindi cha neema, ila kuna vitu pia vya kusema unamvumilia mtu, yaani kusikuwepo ku cheatiwa wala nini, ni hali ya kawaida
     
  9. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 22, 2012
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    Sikubaliani nayo hii kitu kama ni kweli kusingekuwa na msemo wa love is blind. Wangapi tulishaona watu wanapenda machangu au vibaka. Sidhani kama waliamua tu kujua kama watu hao hawafai bali ni hisia they can not overcome. Kuna wengine wameaamua kupenda na huku wamefumba macho but moyo inkataa.

    Habari ya mtima mtitu, I think the couple should give a break from each other the love will grow back. Nilishamsikia mdada fulani nae alikuwa kwenye crisis kama hii akisema mume wangu hata anikaalie uchi hanipandishi mzuka.
     
  10. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

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    Vipi awe hana hisia huyo lazima atakuwa mgonjwa.
     
  11. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 22, 2012
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    Compa ukisema kubwaga manyanga labda kama umeamua kuishi bila mwenza kabisa, unaeza bwaga manyanga afu ukakutana na mwingine nae hisia zikipotea ubwage tena manyanga? Mie nafikiri ni hali za kawaida na huwa zinapita vilevile... Cha muhimu ni kuvumilia mpaka hiyo hali ipite.



    Ningependa kujuzwa nini chanzo...
     
  12. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

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    Zilikuwepo afu ghafla zikapotea, je unadhani kama ni ugonjwa utakuwa unasababishwa na nini?
     
  13. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 22, 2012
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    nadhani hisia zainapanda na kushuka, sijui kama zipoconstant miaka yote????
     
  14. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

    #14
    Mar 23, 2012
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    Nicolas Kuhanga
     
  15. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

    #15
    Mar 23, 2012
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    Kama sikosei hiyo kitu kwa Kiingereza wanaiita 'infatuation' na ikikolea kwa muda mrefu wanaiita 'obsession', akili imechoka nitatafsiri na kudadavua hizo dhana mbili baadaye au kama kuna wataalamu zaidi wafanye hivyo, shukrani.
     
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Dah! Hii inanihusu, nitarudi kesho.
     
  17. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #17
    Mar 23, 2012
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    Basi kuna mijitu mijinga sana. Kama siyo mijinga basi ni mitoto iliyozaliwa late 80s au early 90s na haijui lolote.

    Those rugrats had the audacity of trying to correct me as if I was wrong. SMH!!

    Thanx a bunch.
     
  18. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

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  19. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

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    LOL ilisema nani - Geoffrey Mmari?
     
  20. Companero

    Companero Platinum Member

    #20
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    Nadhani huyo ndiye VC aliyekaa (au miongoni mwa waliokaa) muda mrefu sana mpaka lile eneo likawa linaitwa kwa Kuhanga, si unakumbuka kulikuwa na mbwa kibao mpaka kukatiza kwenda kula yale machungwa ilikuwa inabidi utafakari mara mbili mbili (michungwa nadhani haipo tena) !
     
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