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Kugundua ana nyumba ndogo imekuwa nongwa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Himawari, Apr 12, 2009.

  1. Himawari

    Himawari JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 12, 2009
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    Ni wanandoa kwa miaka 15 sasa, kwa miaka 4 mume alikuwa na nyumba ndogo (jirani yake) bila mke kujua. Mke alipogundua alifungasha virago kutaka kurudi kwao ila mume alimzuia na kumuomba msamaha. Mke hakukubali msamaha kirahisi hivyo mume aliwashirikisha baadhi ya marafiki zake wa karibu kumshawishi mkewe kukubali msamaha wake. Mke akamsamehe yakaisha. Baada ya msamaha mume amebadilika hatoi matumizi kwa familia kuanzia chakula, matibabu na ada. Haki ya ndoa kwa mke imekuwa msamiati. Mke amedata anaona ndoa chungu na amekata tamaa.

    Waungwana naomba tumshauri wenzetu. (Ni ndg yangu wa karibu).
     
  2. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    Mambo ya ndoa ni magumu sana ( very complex and complicated). Mwenye kosa akiwa mwanaume, mwanamke unatakiwa utumie busara sana kwanza kupima na kujua unataka nini:
    1.Kama bado unamtaka mumeo, ukiombwa msamaha na ukakubali uhakikishe ni baina yenu tu na haihusishi mtu wa tatu.( bakiza siri kati yake na wewe) Hapo uhusiano una chance kubwa ya kubaki mzuri au hata bora kuliko ilivyokuwa.

    2. Kama na wewe ushamchoka na hujali matokeo, basi unaweza kumkoromoea utakavyo na hata ukashirikisha watu wengine kujadili tatizo lenu na kupata ufumbuzi.Ila ukae tayari kukubali sasa kunyanyaswa zaidi maana haogopi kitu tena.Kama ni siri alikuwa anatunza, haipo tena na wewe sasa unajua kwa hiyo hajali chochote tena.
    Hapa aliyeshika mpini ni mume na makali kayashika mwanamke.Mmoja wao akivuta atakayeumia ni mwanamke.
    3. Wanaume wana kisasi na kinyongo sana.Wanawake wanasamehe kirahisi.Hivyo huyo mwanamke aamue tu kama anataka kuendelea kuishi maisha hayo ya kero.Kama alikuwa anamtegemea huyo mume kwa kila kitu basi imekula kwake.
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    ....kwenye masharti ya msamaha ndipo kwenye walakini, muulize tena 'aliweka' masharti gani kiasi kwamba huyo baba kabadilika? (huenda kaambiwa watoto si wake je?)
     
  4. Killuminati

    Killuminati JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Kama vipi aanze mbele and this time she should mean it!! Mwambie aache udhaifu.
     
  5. Himawari

    Himawari JF-Expert Member

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    Hakukuwa na masharti ya msamaha. Watoto ni wake, wawili mke aliwakuta na wawili amezaa nae.
     
  6. Himawari

    Himawari JF-Expert Member

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    WoS, wazo la kushirikisha marafiki kwenye kutatua tatizo lilikuwa la mume hivyo kama alikuwa hapendi watu wajue asingeshirikisha marafiki zake!
    Mke anafanya kazi ndio maana ameweza ku-handle mahitaji ya familia for that long, but amechoshwa, maisha ni magumu kwa yeye kubeba jukumu la kutunza familia all alone.
     
  7. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 12, 2009
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    Hima,
    Huyu bwana alikuwa anatafuta gia ya kumfanya aelewe ukweli na kafanikiwa.Inaelekea huyo bwana ni wale wabinafsi sana...anajua kuwa huyo mke anaweza kutunza familia - watoto wote wanne na ndiyo maana akafanya jitihada za kuhakikisha haondoki.Maadam mke anajimudu na alikuwa tayari kumrudia mumewe basi mpira uko kwake kimaamuzi.Ingekuwa mimi ningejiondosha nikaanza maisha mapya bila huyo mume.
     
  8. Himawari

    Himawari JF-Expert Member

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    WoS, hauko mbali sana na ukweli kwenye hili swala la ubinafsi coz mme yuko radhi kusadia ndg kuliko kusomesha wanae!
    Mke kujimudu kunafikia kikomo maana gharama za maisha hasa ada ya watoto ni kubwa na anahofia wanae wanaweza kukosa shule na baba yao hajali hilo!
     
  9. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Mshauri ausikilize moyo wake unavyomtuma halafu aamue.Anavyozidi kuzubaa kwa huyo bwna ndivyo anazidi ku deplete resources zake ambazo angeweza kuzitumia kusomesha wanae.Na je yuko na uhusiano mzuri na hao watoto wa kufikia?
     
  10. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 12, 2009
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    WoS, nakubaliana na wewe kabisa. Huyu bwana alifanya makosa ndani ya ndoa yake na akachukua hatua nzuri na kukaa chini na mkewe ili wayamalize matatizo hayo. Sasa hili la kususa kutoshiriki katika maamuzi yoyote muhimu ya kifamilia mimi hata silielewi. Huyu mama inabidi aondoke na kuanngalia ustaarabu mwingine kwa sababu hii njemba inaelekea haikuwa na nia ya kweli ya kutatua matatizo ya ndoa yake.
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...mpuuzi tu huyo baba, anatumia 'watoto' kumchapia/kumwadhibu mkewe. Watoto kosa lao nini? kama ana tatizo na Mkewe amalizane naye kwa mazungumzo, sio kununa nuna na kujifanya hajali ilhali haiwezi roho yake!
     
  12. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Kama anafanya kazi huyo mwanamke na ana kipato kinachoweza kulea watoto na yy mwenyewe, mie naona bora atengane na huyo jamaa. Hizi ndoa jamani, hadi wengine tunaogopa kuingia ktk ndoa.
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...why not "save their marriage for the sake of their kids!" ?
     
  14. Himawari

    Himawari JF-Expert Member

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    Uhusiano na watoto na kufikia ni mzuri coz mke aliwalea tangu wakiwa wadogo na sasa wako sekondari.
     
  15. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    uamuzi wowote atakaouchukua asiwatelekeze hawa watoto.Ahakikishe anakuwa nao maana wameshakuwa wake hata kama hajawazaa.
     
  16. Scientist

    Scientist JF-Expert Member

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    Mi nashauri wakae chini waliongee tena kama bado kuna tatizo, huyo mwanaume km ataendelea kujifanya hajali,mama aanze zake tu
     
  17. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

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    Jamani wanaume ni wakatili sana na sijui hii tabia yao itakoma lini,kama mke alimsamehe na kuamua kubaki kwa nini amfanyie hayo?Au lengo lake ilikua ni mkewe apate taarifa kuwa ana mtu mwingine ili amnyanyase vizuri? Nahisi pia huyu mama anampenda sana jamaa na ndo maana jamaa anafanya hayo kwa makusudi kwa kuhisi kuwa hata akifanya kosa ataomba msamaha na atasamehewa na maisha yataendelea,maana what i know ni kwamba mwanaume akishajua kuwa mke anampenda sana inakuwa tabu.
     
  18. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 14, 2009
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    tatizo la wengi we2 2naona nikianza life upya cjui wa2 watanifikiria vipi, oohh cjui watasema nimeachika, mawazo mengi yacyo na ulazima, unapoumia humo ndani coz ya m2 kama huyu ni ili iweje? mie yanilikuta kipindi fulani nilikaa pale wakati wa huo msukosuko ili nimalize mambo yangu fulani nichape mwendo, ashukuru mungu wake alishtuka na kujirudi mapema coz ningetoka pale nikae kwangu ambapo cdaiwi kodi wala nini, ingekuwa ndio imetoka hiyo nicngegeuka nyuma, alijirekebisha na sasa 2po sambamba, hawa wa2 ukitaka wakuchanganye akili watakuchanganya karibia na uchizi, ajiamini kwamba anaweza huyo mama na atafanikiwa tu.
     
  19. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    wanaume wengine ovyo sana, sasa unatembea na jirani maana yake ni nini? adabu hakuna hata kidogo jamani, loo
     
  20. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 14, 2009
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    Hii generazation imekaa vibaya.....Kuna rafiki yangu anakamua mke wa jirani yake tena wamepanga nyumba moja....ni sahihi kusema wanawake ovyo sana? choose your words Ms Nyamayao!
     
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