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Kufuata FASHENI ni sawa unaponunua nguo sio UNAPOOA/OLEWA!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Feb 28, 2011.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Habarini great thinkers??

    Kama ilivyo ada ya watu kwenda na fasheni ya nguo na viatu n.k ili wasipitwe na wakati ndivyo ilivyo kwa ndoa nyingi za sasa.Watu wanaoa na kuolewa mradi nao wajisikie/waonekane wako ndani ya ndoa.Wengi hawahangaiki kufikiri na kutafuta kile wanachotaka au hata kuvumilia mpaka watakapompata yule ambaye atawezana naye badala yake wanachukuana tu kisa eti muda unakimbia...fulani kashaolewa....matatizo yamezidi...marafiki wanamsema and so so!

    Ni watu wachache sana hua wanakaa chini na kufukiria nini wanachotaka kwenye mahusiano kabla hawajaamua kua na mtu fulani.Mbaya zaidi ni wale wanaoingia kwenye ndoa bila uhakika wa nini wanachotaka na kama ndicho watakachopata!!
    Hii inachochea sana ukosefu wa furaha na amani na uaminifu ndani ya ndoa kwasababu mtu anaingia akiwa hajui anataka nini alafu anachokuja kupata sicho... matokeo yake ndo watu wanatoka nje ya ndoa kutafuta maliwazo...watu wakuwasikiliza...watu wanaoweza kukaa nao chini wakaongea bila mtafaruku!Kwa kifupi wako watu wengi sana wanaotoka nje ya ndoa zao ni kwa vitu ambavyo ni vidogo sana ila vina umuhimu wake.

    Ni wakati watu waanze kufikiria kabla ya kuomba mtu uchumba au kukubali kabla ya kuelekea ndoani.
    Fikiria je unataka partner??Mtu unaeweza kushirikiana nae kwa hali na mali?Kama unataka mtu mtakaepeana mawazo na kushauriana katika level moja inabidi utafute mtu ambaye uwezo wenu wa kufikiria unaendana kwa kiasi fulani...Swala hapa sio kisomo cha darasani bali uwezo binafsi alionao mtu!!
    Unamuoa mtu kwaajili ya kukuzalia watoto tu???Alafu akishazaa au akiwa uwezo huo hana??
    Unakubali kuolewa ili kujipa uhakika wa kuishi(pesa)??Jiulize je siku zikiisha itakuaje???Kwanini usitafute mtu utakaempenda na mwenye uwezo?Better yet...kwanini usijishughulishe ukatengeneza vijisenti vyako ili usiwe tegemezi??
    Ni uzuri wake ndo unaokuvutia???Iwe kwa mwanaume au mwanamke...siku huo uzuri ukipotea au kupungua utafanyaje??
    Je ni pressure unayopata kutoka kwa ndugu na marafiki kwahiyo unamchukua tu aliye available kwa muda huo??Siku ukikutana na utakayempenda kwa dhati itakuaje??Kumbuka wao wanaokukumibiza kwenye ndoa sio watakaiishi hiyo ndoa!!

    Kuna mengi sana ambayo yanapelekea watu kuoa/kuolewa bila kua na mapenzi ya dhati....vitu ambavyo vinaweza kupotea wakati wowote ule!!!Surelly hata mapenzi hua yanafifia kama maua yanavyonyauka yasipomwagiwa maji lakini angalau unajua kwamba ukiyajali na kuyapalilia yatachanua!!

    Ushauri binafsi kwa kaka zangu na dada zangu mlio mbioni kuoa/kuolewa kueni makini na maamuzi yenu!Fikiria nini unataka kwenye hiyo ndoa na nini mwenzi wako anaweza kukupa!!

    Mwisho....NI BORA KUA NA MIAKA 5 NDANI YA NDOA YENYE FURAHA badala ya 10 YENYE MASIKITIKO NA MANYANYASO....hivyo usikimbilie kwenye ndoa kama hujampata anaeuridhisha na kuufurahisha moyo wako.Ingia kwenye ndoa ukiwa na mapenzi na ubavu wako wa pili.....hapo inakua hata rahisi kuvumilia matatizo/makosa yake kuliko mtu usiyempenda.

    Kila la heri kwa watarajiwa!!
    Nawakilisha!!!
     
  2. WiseLady

    WiseLady JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Jan 22, 2010
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    Asante Lizzy umenena vema, kwani wengi siku hizi wamelichukulia swala hilo kama fasheni matokeo yake yamekuwa ndivyo sivyo!
     
  3. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Mwenye macho aone na mwenye masikio asikie
     
  4. M

    Marytina JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Lizzy! i salute u!
    You have spoken my mind.
    Nilielezwa hili na mama jirani ila hakuweza kuliweka vizuri kama wewe.

    i realy thanks God for having u in this forum
     
  5. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #5
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
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    lakini moyo ukishapenda na ukatulia kweli tunakuwa na muda wa kufikiria hayo yote? si wengine wanaona ni bora wabahatishe tu liwalo na liwe?
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Ni muhimu watu wakapenda kwa moyo ila maamuzi wakafanya kwa kuhusisha kichwa!
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Asante mpendwa...uwepo wako ni muhimu pia! Angalau wewe umepata kuambiwa kabla hata ya hapa..wengi sana wanaingia kichwa kichwa!Hopefully utatumia hii kitu kwa yule morani wako!Lolz!
     
  8. M

    Marytina JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 28, 2011
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    morani is the best at all sio kwamba naionea huruma ndio maana nawachomolea chagas wenye mkwanja wa kweli
    Ni rahisi kupata mtu wa kuspend naye ila hapo kwa mume ni vigumu kama kweli inaikumbuka hii sred unapokutana nao.
     
  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Basi tulia morani wako...pesa zinakuja na kuondoka!
     
  10. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Mmmhh I second your arguments! Why should someone keep the whole pig for the small sausage?

    Wengine husema Kwanini nifuge Ng'ombe wakati naweza pata maziwa kila siku tena kilaini? Sitafuti nyasi wala kusafisha banda.
     
  11. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 28, 2011
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    mmmmh, wewe na huyo morani wako,
    hatupumui jamani lol....!!!!!!
     
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Mmhuuu!
     
  13. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Hapo ni muhimu sana.
    Jambo la pili ni kumanage expectation pamoja na ku-share hizo expectations......Watu wengine wanaolewa huku kichwani mwao wanajiona wanacheza cheza beach na watoto wao wawili, huku baba watoto akiwa amekaa juu ya bonnet ya Range anakunywa bia ya kopo taratibu. (hii ni very important!!) share that ili mwenzako akusaidie ku-manage hizo ndoto kichaa!
     
  14. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Kweli kabisa..among other things ndoa is about sharing and helping each other to achieve individual dreams kama uwezo huo upo!
     
  15. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Hapo Rev Fr ndio panapohitaji kufikiria kwa umakini, tuko pamoja!!!!
     
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Wanasema mapenzi hayana usawa. Yaani unapenda usipopendwa na unapendwa usipopenda. Na hata kama mnapendana hamuwezi mkawa mnapendana sawa.
    Sijui unaliöngeleaje hili ukihusisha na swala la ndoa.
     
  17. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Hus ukimpata mtu anaeridhika na wewe....na wewe ukaridhika nae mapenzi yanaweza kua sawa!!!
    Ni kweli mara nyingi watu hua wanapenda wasipopendwa na kuna wanaopendwa wasipopenda...wengi wao ndo wale baadae anakuja kukutana na mtu anajiuliza siku zote alikua wapi huyu!!

    Kwenye situation kama hiyo sio kwamba mtu wakupendana nae anakua hawezi kupatikana ila kwa sababu zetu binafsi unakuta mtu anajitoa mhanga kua na mtu asiyempenda kwasababu yeye anapendwa kwa hofu ya kukosa vyote asipochukua hiyo nafasi!Matokeo yake unakuta mtu yuko ndani ya ndoa ila moyo wake uko nje kabisa!!Ndo maana ntaendelea kusisitiza kwamba watu wawe wavumilivu!!Ni bora uchelewe kuingia kwenye hiyo ndoa muda wako mfupi utakao kua nayo uifurahie kuliko kukumbilia ukanyanyasika miaka na miaka!!!
     
  18. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 28, 2011
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    asante sana Lizzy umenena vyema Be blessed
     
  19. tracy

    tracy JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 28, 2011
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    SOOOOO TRUE!..focus on what YOU need and not what other people WANT from you!
     
  20. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #20
    Feb 28, 2011
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    Umenena mama. Umenena vyema. Lakini hii ni ideal theory, real situation ni tofauti sana. Hivi huoni kuwa siku hizi mtu ni mweupe anasema nataka niwe na mwenza mweusi ili tumech! yaani ndoa siku hizi zinatanguliwa na fasheni. Tena watu wanaingia kwenye ndoa by default. Mtu anajua kuwa akifikisha umri fukani lazima aingie kwenye ndoa, haangalii kama anataka au hataki...
     
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